Hi Marion, I totally agree. I have always found owners to say please do not hestate to contact if any queries etc. And many appliances can be extremely difficult, especially if no clear instructions left. One sit, I never had a welcome guide but left a huge mannuals for the appliances. I simply wated to turn ther hob on but ended up looking through 12 languages o find englisj and then in tiny print. I did not wish to spend an hour reading through it all, when just wanting to cook a meal. Eventually I thought I had managerd it but still not working. It turned out that the small saucepan and frying pan in pots and pans drawer was not cmpatible with the hob. Why leave them there? Larger ones worked. If a quick phone call is an option then tht would seem better. If receiving an unpleasant response to a simply query it can be off putting to query anything else. I know it would put me off. I have also found the most relaxed sits have been when invited to arrive the night before, as the owners have more time to show you things and if a dogs take you on a lovla walk with them etc.
The most chaotic has always been when arriving on the morning owners leaving. One I can remeber when all rushing aorund like headless chickens and I was unable to connect to their wifi, dDdn;t have time to sort out and said they had no problems must be my phone and laptop etc. and rushed off. They had to get somebody in. It turned out I needed a master password on a modem in their locked study. They had various extension ones all with differwnt passwords and none had worked. Arriving the night before and could have been sorted without all the probloems it entailed, getting key to study etc. And then there was the case arriving after owner left only to discover the keysafe did not contain the key to get in.
But I know if an owner had made it obvious they did not want to be contated at all nd not been pleasant and frienldy towards a simple query I would be very reluctant to contact with anything again. I would have also found it intrusive if a prop manager coming in at odd times unnanounced and checking up. No third parties are supposed to visit. It also sounds like they were trying to do the right thing if feeding a pup with an upset stomach rice and pumkin. There are always two sides to any story.
All of us here are only seeing one side of the communication ā yours. And really donāt know what went wrong or why. So we are all guessing. Here are some things Iāve noticed based on the information you provided:
- You chose the sitter because 60+ people (maybe fewer with repeat sits) gave the person 5-star reviews. This despite your own misgiving on the call when you found the sitter āpresumptuousā and were uncomfortable with their remarks about other homeowners. Moving forward, Iād suggest trusting your gut more than other peopleās opinion. You could if you wanted to mention this gossipy tone on the chat in your review, but I probably wouldnāt as it doesnāt reflect well on you that you chose the person despite the tone but are now bringing it up.
- You seemed put off by their wanting to stay with you before you left. The way you phrased it the implication they were somehow putting you in a spot. Itās perfectly understandable that you wouldnāt want someone in your home the night you were getting ready to leave. BUT most dog sits require a warm handover, and it sounds like the sitter might have been trying to help solve a problem ā not make a demand. Often homeowners need to leave super early in the morning and it just isnāt possible for a sitter to get there on time without arriving in town and sleeping somewhere the night befoer. Hosts have two choices: They can tell a sitter if they canāt be there by x time in the morning, they canāt have the sit OR they can either offer a sitter a place to stay in their home or pay for their one night accomodations. There is no obligation on your part to pay for the accomodation, but it is the sitter saying basically, āI would need this to happen for me to take the sit.ā Note: I live in a popular location. Iāve never paid for a sitterās accomodation nor had anyone stay in my apartment the night before. Iāve had some sitters ask. It hasnāt been a good match. Then again, I have cats and donāt require a warm handover.
- You seem put off that they called you after you left with a question about the oven. Oh my! I canāt tell you the number of times both paid and THS sitters have called me about something I thought I wrote down or something I missed. This includes people unable to open the door with the key. This is why I now have a video showing the tricks Iām not even conscious of! As a sitter Iāve had to ask where the vacuum is or more often: Where is the charger for the vaccuum? This part is not in my opinion worrisome or cause for docking points on a review. I sit and host. As a sitter if I saw someone knocking off a point for that on a review, Iād avoid the sit.
- As a sitter, while I have had hosts who didnāt want or need daily updates because they were on a boat or in the forest or something, most hosts do want regular updates, more than once a week about pet health. As a host, I want everyday āproof of lifeā texts owing perhaps to an unfortunate experience when someone died in my childhood home maybe, or maybe just because pets can go downhill very quickly. Sitters are much more likely to get a bad review for NOT communicating with a homeowner than for actually trying to reach out to call them. A clear desire to not have communication is going to be worrisome for a sitter. I do think they were desperate to reach out to you and this wasnāt about being āfriends.ā By your own account one of the things they wanted to know about was your dog. You basically left them to their own devices regarding these concerns and then you were dissatisfied with their solutiions.
- My guess is that if they were requesting a āguidebookā you mean they were requestion the Welcome Guide. You were taken aback because the sit ended, but what this says to me is whatever youād left in writing did not constitute an actual Welome Guide and they were trying to protect themselves beause despite their desire to reach to you, you did not react well to their attempts to communicate with you.
- I donāt understand what happened with the property manager. It sounds like you had the property manager checking in with them. What was that? Did this person come in to the space violating 3rd party rules? Did the person knock on the door? While I have stayed at sits where neighbors made the host aware that Iād accidently turned on a back outside light, or a neighbor dropped by to give me comps to a show or something, Iāve never had a third party take over as a person to ācheckā on me. Most sitters would not take well for that. You might need to prepare yourself for a less than stellar review. This also might be why you didnāt hear back when you finally texted them for an update.
- You mention in another comment āthere were issuesā in your home, but other than their calling you about the oven, you donāt mention what they were. You also use the word ādefensiveā to describe the sitters. This is subjective language, and should not be in a review should you choose to leave one.
- The diet change ā Here your sitters might have been in the wrong, but given the apparent lack of a welcome guide, and your apparent shutting down of communication, here is what I imagine might have happened: The dog might have had some diarrhea or stomach upset, and the sitters might have felt that white rice and pumpkin was a relatively safe solution. Because communication had broken down, they didnāt discuss with you.
I understand that your other sits were problem free. My guess is that other sitters seemed to āgetā early on that you didnāt need or want communication, so they just did their thing and everything was fine. Maybe if they couldnāt figure out the oven, they used the stovetop. Maybe if the dog had diarrhea, they gave her white rice but threw away the traces so you were none the wiser. Maybe they were upset about the property manager but were afraid to write a bad review. I donāt really know because I only know one side of the story.
As a pet owner who also sits, what I do know is that a sitter or a homeowner shouldnāt go into this with bad feelings to start out and that communication and keeping lines open and direct with no third party is necessary.
In terms of what you should do: It sounds like youāve made a decision not to review. If you do review there is no āretaliationā with the blind review system, but sitters do have a right to respond to a review. If they review you, you also have a right to respond.
Iām very confused about the information here versus the OP. Did the OP completely change because of ācommunity guidelines.ā? I donāt see these details anywhere.
Speculation is counterproductive.
Iām not sure what you are implying but I disagree.
People are thinking thereās a whole another side to this story.
I completely agree with the put off by wanting to stay the night before observation. Dogs especially do so much better when their is a one night overlap instead of an hour meeting. And yes of course there are preparations to make before departing.
Our sitters arrive tomorrow (Thursday). We fly out Monday morning. I am packing most of my suitcase today and am mostly done with cleaning and other preparations. We will be gone almost a month and while we have no intention of attaching ourselves at the hip to the sitters all weekend, we do want to make sure our preparations are done early so we are available to get them comfortable with our dog, cats and fish tanks. Is it more convenient to have sitters show up right before you depart and magically know all about your home and pets? Sure, of course. But in reality - just make time for a proper handover. Unless itās a very easy sit with a cat or two, then I can see skipping. Not with a dog.
I donāt agree that HO should be available at the drop of a hat by phone for any question a sitter has. Yes maybe they couldnāt figure out the oven but sure that can be a text or email? That is not urgent and no one will perish from hunger if an oven is unavailable for a day or so while emails are traded.
And the sitter bears some responsibility on not being more direct if there were significant struggles - ie message āsorry to disturb your holiday but I have some concerns about how your dog is adapting and I think itās best we arrange a time to speakā
I do think the dog was probably a little ill hence the rice and pumpkin. But communication is important both directions - the sitter should have been upfront about issues, not so thin skinned that one āno not available for a call about an ovenā shuts them down completely.
Thank you for your response.
As a sitter, Iād say just donāt leave them a review and if they leave YOU a review at that point you can say everything you need to.
The only thing with your advice @mikomeko is that should the OP respond to a review by the sitter, it will appear on the OPās profile and not on the sitterās, so future hosts will be unaware of this sitterās behaviour.
Youāre right. Thereās an added potential problem. Future applicants will be able to see this sitterās review and the response, then, most likely, theyāll want to check the review the HO left and find out there was no review. Some will read that in a positive light but others may not appreciate it. I would certainly prefer an honest review in the first place so that I could figure out this wasnāt an easy sit. If I read just a reaction to the sitterās review, depending on the content, I might hesitate to apply.
@temba, yes I know all of those things and didnāt mention any of them as I assumed most would know that already. 
Review factually every time. Oh if that were mandatory how many people would be saved a bad experience. If you are a good sitter or host you really have nothing to worry about.
I for one rely heavily on the reviews when Iām considering the application of a sitter, and therefore appreciate candor. Even a 4-star, rather than 5-star, will give an indication that the sit was not wonderful. Please try to be as honest as you can be; a non-emotional, fact based review is always appreciated.
I prefer clear wording. The number of stars is helpful when thereās a pattern. I have sat for people with 4 stars and the sit was perfect for me but I refrain from applying when I see specific information in reviews that shows that it would not be a good match for me.
There are 60 more comments (which I have not read) after the above comment so someone else may have already commented on it.
It is correct to say that on the Sitter profile any sit without a review may (or may not) have āReview Requestedā below it. We, ourselves have 2/3 such situations where the host did not provide a review. However this information is ONLY visible on the sitters own profile where ALL sits are recorded. This info is NOT visible to outside viewers.
I.e If a host does not give a review that sit will be absent from the sitters profile when viewed by others. I.e no record of the unreviewed sit exists for public viewing. However if the sitter leaves no review the sit WILL exist on the hosts profile with a blank space below the sitters name. That is the difference and is one of the many discrepancies between host and sitter profiles.
I have not read all the responses so this may be repetitive. I had a similar situation with. Sitter where our expectations did not align and she seemed more interested in finding a friend than my pet. I chalked this is to me not doing my due diligence. I did not mark her down but only commented on her care of the house in my review.
Why didnāt you say something in the review that reflected your experience? When you refrain from doing that not only does it leave other hosts under the bus but it allows this sitter to have an easier time getting sits which makes it harder for other sitters such as me to get sits.
As I said in my original post, the back and forth reflects badly on both parties and Iām not willing to do that.
I have all texts proving my facts but that doesnāt matter.
Ultimately I may not use THS anymore. Iāve read all the posts and as usual some find it amusing that someone has experienced issues/problems . Why would I trust that I wonāt get these sitters in the future?
Iām not sure Iām willing to go through this again.