Well, thank you everyone for your input. It’s been interesting to hear perspectives from both sitters and homeowners.
That said, I still struggle with the idea that because some sitters or homeowners behave a certain way, it should simply be accepted and mirrored by the other side. Personally, I’d rather see higher standards of communication encouraged, rather than a gradual race to the bottom where expectations drop for everyone. The fact that something happens often doesn’t automatically make it courteous.
I thought this was clear in my original message, but just to reiterate: I’ve never argued that homeowners should personally respond to every single application. I completely understand that some listings receive a large volume of responses, and I’ve also received plenty of declines over the years without any communication before it. That’s totally fine.
What I’m referring to is a much more specific situation: when a homeowner starts a conversation with a sitter, expresses clear interest, discusses arranging a call, asks them to keep time available, and then disappears without any follow-up before an automatic decline is sent.
For me, that is a different situation entirely. Once you move beyond the initial application stage and start actively discussing next steps, there is a higher level of engagement and, in my view, a corresponding expectation of basic courtesy. A quick message to say plans have changed takes very little effort, but it does acknowledge the time and attention the other person has already invested.
At that point, I do think a line has been crossed in terms of expected communication.
@Meds75 I agree with you entirely on the issue of courtesy once communication is established. Its simply plain rude to drop a sitter (or host) without a polite or friendly closing message.
However I disagree that its OK for hosts not to respond personally to every applicant. Many sitters make a lot of effort to write a tailored application so a response, of any kind, is much appreciated. It only takes a minute and makes a big difference compared to just receiving a cold decline. In the old days when a host could receive 50+ applicants it was different. But now they can only receive 5 applicants at a time so they are hardly overwhelmed. One if the Features of the 5 App limit is to give hosts time to consider each applicant properly. To receive more applicants they need to manually unpause their listing and that is the moment to send a quick personally message with a decline to any who are unsuitable. That is my humble opinion.
No need to think of it as ‘being guarded’. Healthy boundaries make for happier relationships, where everyone is getting their needs met.
Stuff like this doesn’t bother me anymore. Instead, it is an opportunity to learn what types of interactions DO make you feel good, and an opportunity to practice empathy for those who haven’t learned those skills yet.
My hunch is that you are great, conscientious sitters and whatever next sit you get will be a better fit anyway.
Hello. I had the opposite issue. I approved someone for a sit and was asked if we could meet, because the person works nearby. They wanted to meet closer to the time of the sit but I didn’t want to meet someone the week before and not have a commitment and he wouldn’t confirm until we met because “that’s how they do it on Rover”. Long story short, the day we were supposed to meet, I gave him my address and immediately he said “I’m uncomfortable, good luck, find someone else”. I almost felt like this person was fishing for my address. I live in a nice neighborhood, have a nice house and a very small back yard, 10 minutes to water my backyard plants, with a sprinkler! and 6 plants out front, on the sidewalk, in pots. What is anyone’s take on this? I offered to do a what’sapp video chat but he said since we are going to meet, there was no need. The person before this confirmed, then said did you change your dates then, declined and when I told them I didn’t change the dates, said sorry, I took another sit but my mother might be interested! What has changed for sitters? I have known several sitters that take sits constantly in lieu of paying rent/utilities. It seems like a good deal, especially if the house is clean, the owner leaves some food and snacks and the pets are easy, 2 walks a day, no meds. My friend Caryn does this and I know she actually had to commute from an Airbnb because she couldn’t stay at the house, it was so filthy and she got there as the owner was leaving and didn’t realize the extent of it, so I do sympathize with the sitters.
If a HO or sitter is making this mutually beneficial exchange difficult, I think that’s enough of a red flag to move on to the next sitter or next sitting opportunity.
My take, you have to earn trust and not expect to have it outright. I always hate when a contractor, store owner…says, “trust me, this is what you need”.
I can only understand the first half of what you’ve written, which I found terrifying, once he got your address he immediately declined the sit, and he refused to let you see his face, now that he’s got your address and when the dates you’re away. That’s really worrying.
Your story has prompted me to edit my Welcome Guide with just City/State and I will send the address later closer to sit start. A lesson learned for sure, how unsettling.
I came across this older discussion and wanted to add that it’s always worth checking if there’s a way to customize decline messages within the platform. Even a one-line personal note can make a huge difference in maintaining goodwill. Are there any changes or new features on the platform that now address this issue? Would love to hear if anyone has found effective ways to handle this situation recently!
@unsinkablepennybrown could it be that the address is not where they expected it to be based on the listing. Sometimes listings are vague and when sitters get the actual address it’s a different area than they thought. I wouldn’t jump right to thinking it’s something nefarious.
