I am relatively new to the platform and have had a couple of sits declined after an initial conversation to set up a video chat but before the chat happens. On the latest occasion, I was left waiting all weekend with a message of “will get back to you with my availabilities for the chat” then they ghost and decline.
I have always followed up when someone declines, to ask for feedback. I do this in my professional life and find it completely normal and reasonable.
Is it common to be declined and ignored? I find it rude. Should I just get used to it? Appreciate any sitter feedback, thanks!
Sorry to hear that…I know that must be frustrating. In all my years of sitting I can’t ever recall an instance where a host went as far to set up a video call and then decline the application before we spoke. So I don’t think that particular type of ‘decline’ is commonplace.
The most likely scenario is perhaps they got another applicant after connecting with you that they felt was more suitable and decided to go with them–you say you are relatively new so it is possible if more experienced sitters applied, some hosts may lean towards them.
While I think it is always polite for hosts to acknowledge an application, even with just a simple message of thanking the person for applying, I think that once a host connects with an applicant in any way–especially if they went as far to request a video call–it is especially poor form to just decline without any message along with it.
You are free to message and ask them if there was any particular reason they did not feel you were a good fit, but some may not feel comfortable opening up a conversation about that, regardless of whether the reason was in any way personal to you. But you never know and someone may give some sort of feedback that is helpful to use moving forward. But overall, it is probably best to just move on and keep on applying to other sits…there is a good chance the declines really aren’t about anything super personal to you.
I have never asked a host why they declined us, and in instances where reasons were given, they were never about us personally–previous sitter expressed interest, forgot to update listing to say they only wanted a single sitter,etc…
But without such an explanation it would have been really easy to assume it was. And even in instances where a decline is personal to the sitter in some way, that just is what it is and simply means it wasn’t a match for some reason.
Yes, there are rude people in the world and THS is no exception.
Going forward, you might want to not wait for anyone — just apply for whatever sits you want and there’s no obligation on either side till there’s mutual acceptance.
Welcome Sorry you got ghosted, but try not to take it personally. I would guess they had previously set up video chats with others, you were farther down the queue, and they felt a strong enough connection to the someone-elses that they just decided to pick them rather than talking to everyone.
I wouldn’t waste time with “why didn’t you pick me?” It may be that you had fewer reviews, it may be nothing at all to do with you and just that they really liked the other applicant, and you might not get a reply anyway. Then you might feel snubbed a second time.
(You said you always follow up declines – do you often get responses?)
Yes, it would’ve been polite to follow up with you, “sorry we selected someone”… but people often don’t think to do polite follow-ups.
Don’t let it weigh on you; keep searching for and applying for other sits – just keep trying and you will eventually find a good match.
Good luck!
In my 6+ decades of life I’ve discovered the vast majority of people suck. With rare exception, people are selfish, self absorbed, inconsiderate, apathetic, and with every transaction they’re in it for what they get out of it. If both parties benefit it’s win/win but it’s mainly about getting ahead.
Once a host/sitter relationship is established both parties have a common mutually beneficial goal and politeness, respect and consideration become the order of the day.
But until that happens you’re just an application, usually in a pile with others. It works both ways. I’ve had many sitters apply, show interest, then disappear.
Nobody cares. It’s your choice to label it with a word, be offended, or to quote my second least favorite expression (“and what not” fills the top spot), “ It is what it is”.
Ding, ding, ding! You have your answer.
It stings when starting out but it fades. By all means, ask the HO about the decline. But as others have said (some rather harshly), you may not get a response. Some are flaky that way.
In my experience most people I’ve encountered have been pretty friendly, polite and welcoming. That’s exactly how I’ve found all the hosts that I’ve sat for on THS. Clearly, experiences shape us, but, I’ve met very few people that suck, are selfish, self absorbed, inconsiderate, apathetic, and with every transaction they’re in it for what they get out of it. I think you’re in a minority. That’s not a world that I recognise and I would hate to think the person to whom you replied decides they need to harden up. There are plenty of nice people around, who often do things for no reward, that’s just the way their world works.
Agree completely. My experience is the world is very much a mirror. If you project warmth and kindness mostly that’s what you get back. If you project negativity, insincerity and grump that’s what you get back.
I’ve dealt with countless individuals on a business and personal level via my numerous real estate endeavors and 30+ years owning a large medical practice. My words speak to my vast experience and from what I’ve seen posted on this forum and other pet sitting platforms there are many negative transactions that reflect my reality rather than yours.
Hosts pull the plug at the last minute often stranding sitters in foreign countries, with no regard for their welfare. They outright lie on their profiles leaving sitters with unexpected surprises upon arrival. As with the subject of this thread, hosts often ghost sitter applicants.
Sitters do the same to hosts, often not fulfilling their responsibilities, canceling a sit often due to the all too common “sudden family emergencies” that seem to be more prevalent during holiday periods.
THS implemented a double blind review system to discourage dishonest positive reviews by so many members who put their own reputation and credibility above the needs of the community, choosing to avoid the negative backlash of a deserved negative review.
THS itself clearly is all about the money and not about concern or caring for the needs of the members as per their lack of responsiveness, awkward and broken upgrades, unwanted features and refusal to implement requested site improvements.
(edited by Forum team to meet Community Guidelines)
I would say the early bird gets the worm, so when I apply I offer my WhatsApp mob and offer a video chat that day or the next day at their convenience. I also offer that if they’ve found another sitter already to keep in touch for any future sits.
The world is a mirror to a degree. There also are simply more good people than bad. Otherwise, the world would have ceased functioning by now. As it is, much of our daily interactions (including on THS) depend on trust. Otherwise, they wouldn’t exist. And I say this as someone who helped cover news for decades.
As many horrible things happen, often inflicted by a minority, the good people tend to come out to help. The terrible thing is, even a small number can produce outsized damage.
The terms “good” and “bad” are extremely subjective and infer that people fall into one of two absolute groups and there is no in between.
For example a host on a pet sitting site who doesn’t care to respond to sitter applicants that they have no interest in, or a sitter who cancels on a host last minute and says it’s a “family emergency” when it’s not, are not “bad” people. They are selfish, inconsiderate, and possibly dishonest.
A convicted felon who murders one or more innocent people during a robbery could be considered “bad” with a fair degree of accuracy and agreement among most people.
A person who spends their entire life volunteering their time and money to various charities can be considered “good” and again, most people would generally agree with this definition.
Everyone else falls somewhere in the middle.
Fear of punishment and consequences, either by legal authorities or belief in a higher power keeps a lot of people honest who otherwise would not be.
It looks like the conversation is starting to drift off the original topic, and a few replies are becoming a bit more personal than intended.
I know some topics can spark strong opinions, and it’s great that people care, but let’s refocus on the original subject and keep things constructive and respectful.
Thank you Jenny for stepping in. I do appreciate everyone’s feedback, but indeed the conversation went too off topic. I will reflect on everyone’s feedback. As a professional pet sitter and a human who wants to make the world a kinder place, I do take my actions and responsibilities on this platform quite seriously. Perhaps I need to lower my expectations bit though.
Thank you so much for your understanding while I was getting the thread tidied up @JJpetsit - it’s brilliant that you’re asking questions and taking feedback on board! I hope you’ll keep us updated on how things are going!
Sorry you got ghosted, but try not to take it personally. I would guess they had previously set up video chats with others, you were farther down the queue, and they felt a strong enough connection to the someone-elses that they just decided to pick them rather than talking to everyone.
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I keep forgetting tomorrow’s my last day before I’m off 