Today I received a rather snarky note from someone who applied for a housesit I needed earlier this month. They said my communication was terrible and was glad I didn’t choose them.
By the time this person had applied, I had already had multiple applications, reviewed them, had held interviews with my top two, and chose one (and told the other interviewee of my decision). Another I liked I messaged to say I’d be interested in hearing from again for future sits. I declined the rest.
I didn’t think it was necessary to respond to every applicant as to why I didn’t choose them (this person wanted to bring her own dog/dogs which wouldn’t have worked for us and our two pets, and by the time they’d replied, I’d selected someone anyhow). Am I wrong here? Do you send a message to every applicant you decline?
As a sitter it is nice to receive a brief note, perhaps to say thanks for you application, sometimes hosts wait for weeks before reaching a decision and it can be frustrating wondering what’s happening. However, it’s not expected and you are certainly not under any obligation.
The sitter who sent the snarky note was perhaps not the best fit for you, there was no need for that.
No you are not obliged to message them all but it is polite. Most sitters put in a lot of effort into their initial messages and an acknowledgment and a reason for the “no thanks” isn’t a lot to ask.
That is horrific ! And, based upon that applican’t response to you, a blessing !
You’re certainly not required to respind to every applicant but I believe that I speak for many - if not all : A simple, “Thank you for your application. I’ve chosen another applicant,” is both respectful and clear. And it goes many miles/k’s in countering the disconnected nature of so many of our interactions these days.
When a HO turns down my application with a note to that effect, I always respond with some iteration of , “I appreciate your letting me know and hope that you have a great trip”.
No, you are not obligated to reply but it is polite to do so and most sitters very much appreciate it.
If I took time and effort to apply to your sit and you declined me without a message I would consider that rude and would not apply to you again. But if you declined with a polite message showing future interest I would certainly consider applying again if the dates were a match.
I’ve applied for sits, heard nothing, messaged again to say I’m keen, but I’ll move on if you’re not, still heard nothing. Left it open out of curiosity finally was contacted a month later. By that time I’d taken something else. I was seriously tempted to be snarky, but what does that serve? The world needs more kindness. I hope that HO learned a lesson about communication, and for me the other sit was a better location so I won out.
That’s terrible, they shouldn’t have done that, but while it’s not a requirement and you’re not obliged, it’s good manners and shows courtesy, considering sitters spend time and effort writing a personalised message to you. Just a really short note is fine.
There’s a few sits that show up regular and struggle to get applicants in places where we regularly sit, because of their location. But because they turned us down in the early days without any acknowledgement whatsoever, I won’t apply with them. Because we naturally want to help those owners we like with pet care, and a lack of basic manners and courtesy doesn’t align with that.
But as for the one that sent you a snarky note, that’s shocking. You aren’t obliged to send them a message.
If you confirmed one, told your decision to the the second of your top two, and told a third you would be interested to hear from them again, with the maximum five application rule, that only leaves two more sitters to respond to - surely that would not have been too much effort to do out of politeness?
@HappyDeb Although that sitter was rather rude in that response they do have a point! As you yourself say - if you are declined without a note you’ll move on and never reapply.
We actually had the situation a few years ago , after one too many declines without a note, where a blank decline really triggered me! I thought ‘What is it with all these rude hosts’?! It was for a sit we were very interested in and thought we were perfect for. I replied to the decline with (in retrospect!) a rather strong & indignant message expressing disappointment and how rude I thought it was to just decline with no note and not even an acknowledgement of our application! The host responded immediately, mortified, as she’d actually loved our profile but had just chosen someone more local.
Neither of us had realised, till then!, that THS sends an autodecline to all other applicants when a sitter is confirmed! We ended up having a very nice dialogue which led to an invitation to sit later in the year- 3 weeks in souther Spain on a gorgeous property! It was a great sit! And all becausecI complained at being declined!
So perhaps for that sitter too it was a ‘last straw’ reaction and not really personal to that particular host! No excuses not to be polite at all times but sometimes it’s all too much!
I think you received a nasty outburst and a good thing wasn’t chosen. However as a sitter I do like to recieve some sort of reply. At least I know my application has been received and read. But isn’t it still only five applicants before others are blocked from applying?
JUst something brief such as thank you for your application, however I had already chosen and confirmed the sit with somebody else. Really sorry I cannot offer on this occasion. And then sign off.
Recently I’ve applied to 3 sits and I’ve seen that the message has been read by the HO, so I wait 48 hours and if there’s no message acknowledging my message I cancel my application. 2 out of the 3 sent me a message 5 days and 8 days later asking if I was still interested!! I didn’t reply
I never withdraw unless I accept another sit then I message the original sit with a sorry but, making it very polite and apologetic. If they approach me I am always polite but very exaggerating my reply. I hope it makes them realise how rude they have been by not acknowledging the time and effort I have put in.
As I’ve understood the technicalities, your listing would automatically go into review-mode when you have reached five applicants, and sitters not chosen will get an automated decline-message when you confirm a sitter on the platform formally. That message will only say «Application declined :dates-of-sit:».
It is considered courteous by many, but not at all required, to send a personal message, like for instance
« Thank you for reaching out. After consideration, we’ve decided to move forward with other candidates for now. Wishing you all the best.
Warm regards,»
Some would send it before they formally hit the confirmation button (and the auto-decline), some after.
Personally, I don’t put much in to whether a host does or not, but ofc it is nice.
Another matter is that a sitter really doesn’t know why you decline. So if there’s a sitter you’d especially would like to apply at another time, you can say just that. «Feel free to apply again if dates align».
The question I ask myself here, is what timeline the process here had. Many sits are agreed - from published dates and/ or application - and to a formal confirmation incl. videocall - within 24-48 hours. If the process is dragged out for a long time - with applications coming and going - that is not ideal and could give an impression of bad communication. For sure it is a burden for a sitter who might have put other things on the back burner for a sit.
If a sitter is someone that does not meet your criteria, for instance if they have pets, I would decline them instantly and not keep them hanging when you already know it isn’t a match. I would much rather get an answer and be able to focus on other sits than be stringed along for politeness sake (or as an unwanted plan B).
I don’t know what happened in this case, so just some perspectives.
I think I would have replied to explain, politely, why I was no longer interested….! Hopefully they would get the message that, at the very least, they need in future to acknowledge an application.
You’re not obligated to, though some sitters prefer that. Personally, as a sitter, I don’t care. Even if I did, it seems out of bounds for someone to message as you described. So bullet dodged.
Generally, if you think of everyone as being a “member” here, the courtesous thing to do would be to reply to all applications, but there is no obligation to do so.
As a host I get a lot of application.s Sometimes there aren’t any previous sits through THS, or there is something logistically, or something in the wording that makes me immediately realize this isn’t a good match. Rather than let the application sit there, I will decline quickly thanking them but letting them know that we aren’t a good match. I might or might not give a reason beyond that but never anything personal. For instance, “Thanks for applying. I see that you don’t have any site experience Mine isn’t the world’s easiest catsit, so I’m looking for sitters who have site reviews showing they’ve cared for older cats.”
Sometimes this opens me up to getting emails that I’m being “unfair.” Generally I ignore those. Some sitters have ideas about how homeowners “should be” doing this and don’t like it when homeowners are having conversations with multiple sitters. I’ve found that because sometimes there are reasons why it wouldn’t be a good match discovered on conversations or logistical reasons why person is a better choice, it is better idea to talk with 2 or 3 suitable people. I’m pretty transparent about that so sitters don’t think it’s a lock if we are talking.
Just remember this is mutual. You are evaluating sitters based on how they communicate. They are evaluating you as well. You might decline a great sitter because you decide you want someone who is more like you in some way – gender, age, etc, and then that person decides to take another sit and you ask the person who has tons of great reviews and experience who you declined earlier without any kind of message. That older person might decide they don’t like your communication style and are no longer interested in sitting for you.
I always send a thank you response for applying to each sitter. There are some sitters that I know right away are not a good match and will let them know. Others I’ll say I’m reviewing applications and will respond soon. I always send a response to the sitters not chosen after I choose a sitter.
Thanks, Marion. From now on, I will ensure I reply to every applicant with a short note whether I choose them or not. Normally, I do that but was out of town for a family member’s surgery and neglected to do so for this one applicant.
and won’t lead to a positive outcome for sure!