Hi,
I have a couple of questions on the right etiquette when responding to a sitter.
One of the sitter (couple) who applied to my house sit post, and seemed to be suitable, did not respond for 2 days after I replied to them expressing my interest. Today they responded saying they had another sit confirmed and won’t be able to sit for me.
However, they did not withdraw their application.
I responded back to them, thanking them for letting me know, and asking them to withdraw their application since they won’t be doing the sit.
They have seen my message but haven’t withdrawn the application.
Should I decline their application in this situation? Would it affect my rating or would it be visible to other sitters? Or should I wait for them to withdraw? Does it affect the sitter’s rating if they withdraw?
For the same sit, another sitter (couple) applied and I received their application late in the evening. Being busy that evening, I only managed to reply the next morning showing my interest, and apologized to them for not responding sooner.
They saw my message within the next hour or two, but haven’t replied and it’s been over 12 hours. Should I wait for another day for them to respond?
I have other applications as well, but I am not able to confirm or decline them yet because these sitters seem to be the most suitable.
I did respond to each sitter who applied, and honestly told them that I will be taking a decision in the next couple of days since I have a few applications.
I have always been polite, thanked and apologized according to the situation, but am confused why sitters wouldn’t respond after seeing my message, and what to do in the above situations.
Not complaining, just want to know the right etiquette.
Thanks for any insights!
Don’t do that, you could potentially alienate every applicant.
If we applied, and someone didn’t notice us straight away and think we were perfect for them, and held out until they lined us up against other sitters to compare them all… we wouldn’t sit for them.
We want someone to notice our application and straight away think we’re perfect for them.
It’s not like there wasn’t time to glance at a sitters profile quickly, because there was a the time to respond with your message.
And we’re not alone, there are a lot of sitters like us. We want owners that instinctively thought we were the right fit for them, not ones that will accept so many applications and then weigh up the pro’s and con’s to come to a conclusion. For both the owner and the sitter, it should be a good gut feeling.
Also, reject any applicant that isn’t suitable or the one that you mentioned. It doesn’t go against you at all, it’s only natural.
There’ll be one applicant that stands out head and shoulders above the rest in your eyes. It’s not just about the number of reviews, it’s about who you are naturally drawn too, it’s a gut feeling.
Also, you need to be fast in replying. Don’t hold off, not even for a day, at the point they apply, is the point when they are free for your dates. So by tomorrow, they may have been selected for another sit.
This site is amazing, you’ll love it.
You can decline any sitter for any reason. Although I agree they should have withdrawn not being interested any longer, it will have no effect on you if you decline. That is the usual way to go forward finding the right sit/sitter.
A sitter could see your message and not being able to respond right away. For instance if you are in a meeting or awake in the middle of the night, or just before take off on a plane. I do think one should be able to send a nudge within 12 hours usually, unless a long flight! 
and at least within 24 hours. Terms of service says a fellow member should be answered 72 hours, but that is way more than most of us do. I do feel that it also shows habits of communication, and my habit is that one should answer asap and within 24 hours, så that is what I am looking for.
EDIT: Happy Deb is right that some sitters might avoid sits where it is a longer decision process, maybe interviews with all and such. It comes across as too formal and maybe not an equal exchange, which most sitters are looking for.
On the other hand, you too are allowed to sit down at a more calm time to read through the applications and can not ofc either choose a sitter in the middle of a meeting or if you see it in the middle of the night. Ofc a host should publish sit dates when they also have time to proceed, but sometimes applications doesn’t come straight away or when you anticipated, or just life happened. Så a little good will at both ends and at the same time proceed timely.
Yes decline their application.
Nothing has been confirmed at this stage so no one is breaking any agreement by . withdrawing or declining an application
An application is just the first stage , followed by conversations to see if it works for both parties. Either party can choose not to go ahead.
There’s no rating ( negative or positive) for either member for this .
A sit is only confirmed when both host and sitter have confirmed and accepted it .
Decline any applications that aren’t suitable and if your listing has been paused , ( which happens automatically after 5 applications are received) you can unpause it to receive more .
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I always do the same - reply to each applicant thanking them for their application and giving them an idea of when I will be making my decision. I think that is polite and an acknowledgment that I have read their application and am grateful for their taking the time to apply.
I don’t think this is “businesslike” at all, and the number of posters on this forum who complain about hearing nothing back at all would support this.
I too choose eventually sitters based on gut feeling, but I now back that up with some reflection and a weighing of the pros and cons for me. This, after I was let down badly by sitters who cancelled at the last moment, and who were “gut instinct” choices.
Of course, I understand that anything can happen to cause a sitter to cancel and there is no guarantee that even the most perfect-seeming sitters won’t let you down.
However, I now prefer to back my gut with some basic carefulness.
@KateY you’ve only taken a slither of what I actually said into account, so you’ve taken it totally out of context.
It’s the above, it’s specifically the ‘since I have a few applications’ wording that is the problem as it makes it sound like she’s holding off to compare one to the other, and I said ‘you need to respond fast in replying. Don’t hold off, not even for a day’.
With hindsight, maybe I should have continued and made my post EVEN longer by explaining then she has time to go back to the others bla bla bla, I was just trying to help her with her initial query.
I feel differently. All I want is honesty and clarity from the host. One of my favorite hosts responded to my application - which was for a sit six months out - by saying that I seemed a perfect fit and due to lots of family issues she and her husband were going to wait until the last week of the month (application month) to go through the applications and that she would schedule video calls on “x” date. She wanted to know if that timing would work for me; I said that it would, and on “x” date I got a message inviting me to three potential times for a video call (a great practice since chances are good one of those times would work, which it did)
The call went GREAT. It was clear it was a perfect fit. But - and this is important - she said that since she already scheduled video calls with two other sitters, she felt she owed them the courtesy of moving forward with those. She asked if I could wait three more days for a decision - and I could (if I had another application out for those dates, i would have told her). To me this showed integrity and thoughtfulness for all concerned.
Three days later I received a wonderful message expressing her genuine enthusiasm for having me as her sitter, I confirmed, and then I received the most amazing and thorough Welcome Guide I have ever seen. The sit was an absolute dream.
The reason I mention all this is that all that was needed was honesty. This is not a popularity contest; it is a matching of skills, interest, and availability. I absolutely want the host to know - not guess, not “gut feel”, but know - that I am the right sitter for their sweet pet and home. The best way for them to know that is to thoughtfully consider suitable applicants. If the homeowner had selected one of the sitters who had a later video call, I would have been fine with that - there are plenty of other sits, plenty of other homes, and the homeowner has the right to pick the best fit for them.
What I would not have been fine with was dawdling and unclear communication. I cannot stand it when an HO has seen my message and not responded for days - I will never sit for them, as it is a bad sign of things to come.
Wording is of course important. If it feels like the HO is implying, “Oh my home is so popular you’ll be lucky if you get me” or something along those lines - well that is irritating, and I’d withdraw. But in the case I described the HO made it clear that it was thoughtfulness and the best fit for all that mattered.
Also if a HO cancels your Confirmed sit the original application from you as a sitter is still active (I’ve recently discovered by accident) so I then needed to withdraw. The HOs decided after we initiated a detailed ‘discussion’ to decide to take their family dogs with them for Xmas …
I think it would be easier for you to decline the application if they haven’t withdrawn it to allow space for new applicants (especially if you are at the 5 application limit).
Are you scheduling chats with your applicants? A lot of sitters (not all, but most) like to have an initial video chat/phone call to ask questions and get to know you.
Not all sitters think like that. I do as you described @DogMom404 , and it’s been working really well. When I see an application, I send them a quick note. I thank them for their application and tell, that I’ll get back to them within a couple of days.
I’ve yet to read an application that would be an instant “Yes!” for me. The unsuitable ones are easy to spot, but usually there are more than one, who would work well. Usually I change some messages with these and then arrange a video chat with one of them. All this usually within 24 hours.
No one has withdrawn their application because of this. On the contrary, several sitters have told me I’ve been the fastest HO to reply they’ve met 
@HappyDeb Sorry, I misunderstood you! No offence intended.
One commenter said this: “There’ll be one applicant that stands out head and shoulders above the rest in your eyes.”
This is not always the case. There may be one applicant that has a cm or two on the others but in our experience, applicants have different strengths and rarely is only one of them perfect. So I don’t fret about having to choose between good applicants. Sometimes I go with a feeling about which one would be happiest in our place and our type of dog, which is based on experience with past sitters. If the first one we have a video chat with seems perfectly fine and we feel confident they would enjoy this environment and (most importantly) walking our dog off-leash, then we go with them. We don’t schedule multiple chats.
Yes, you should decline their application. They probably forgot to withdraw their application or did not know that they should. It will not be visible to other members and will not affect you negatively. Sitters are also unaffected for withdrawing, and there is no public accounting of any of this activity.
For the next couple, I would personally give people at least 24 hours to respond. The THS rules state that people are required to respond within 72 hours, so these applicants are within that timeframe. You never know if the applicants might be on the other side of the world at the moment, or on a long flight or train trip without Wifi, then exhausted after the long trip.
Good job on your responsiveness and thoughtfulness! I like your style!
Thank you everyone for your responses to my questions, and the solutions offered.
I will decline the sitter who has told us they are booked elsewhere., and will wait for the other one to respond.
We always either have a video call and/or a meeting in person if/when the sitters are in town. It always puts everyone at ease, including the dogs and we feel it is good to get to know each other before the sit starts.
We have made some amazing friends with each one of the sitters from our past sits, and they have visited just to say hi to the dogs and have coffee with us.
I totally understand how some of you might feel about not taking a decision quickly, but my personal opinion is always to be honest with the situation. I always want to be honest with the sitter and I expect the same back.
The idea of having up to 5 applications itself means a host has the option to select the most suitable sitter. Not selecting a sitter doesn’t necessarily mean they are not good enough, it just means they may not be as suitable as the other sitter.
To me, a response, even if it is to say they can’t sit, is better than not having a response at all.
Thank you again!
I’ll assume this isn’t a mansion with Vatican views and a goldfish to feed—so a few realities are worth keeping in mind:
Travelers face no cap or maximum. They reach out broadly, and hosts are plentiful—in fact, there are more listings than there are travelers. You’re one among many, not the default.
Saying “I’ll decide later” implies control that isn’t yours. What you received is an expression of interest on a free matchmaking platform, nothing more—they choose too.
If you do decide to wait, keep professional etiquette without mimicking HR: Respond in a timely manner, offer a window to connect that gives you enough time to consider your options, and skip the “others are interested” bit. It signals that they’re not your first pick—and how would you know that without talking to them? (They can see your count anyway.)
And perhaps drop the hiring language. Terms like booking, interview, applicant, meeting etc alienate and create distance—they read as petty status play in a misplaced setting, especially to travelers who actually work in real hiring processes.
This isn’t recruitment—it’s connection. An exchange between travelers✈️ Good luck
Agreed.
Just to clarify, I have never once used words like hiring, booking, interview etc.
I always say lets have a meet and greet for the dogs so that they get to know you well.
Nor have I ever said “I will decide later” or “others are interested” to anyone. As you said, they can see your count anyway.
I am very well aware that I am not hiring anyone to do my job. It is a give and take situation where both, the sitter and the HO benefit with mutual understanding and cooperation.
I have always been polite, respectful, honest and more than willing to accommodate my sitters.
Twice I have offered them to stay an extra night while we were at home, once before we left for a trip so they didn’t have to spend extra money on a night at an airbnb, and once after we returned from a trip, so that they did not have to leave late at night.
My post never implied it is a recruitment. But good communication is key, and expecting a response within a reasonable time window is only fair when I always make sure to respond to the sitters who apply, irrespective of whether they eventually sit for us or not.
That’s simply how it reads — to me — and, since you were soliciting etiquette advice in a public forum, one might presume you were open to different input. Clearly, you’ve got it all figured out — no issue after all. So, glad that’s working out for you. Happy travels
Thank you for all your advice and insights.
I would have appreciated if you had asked whether I used any of those words or terms in my previous communications, which may have resulted in the lack of response from the sitters, rather than assuming that I would have.
However, I understand that your suggestion to avoid that language was made with the best intentions, and I appreciate it.
My apologies if my response came across as rude or unreasonable, which was not my intention.
100% agree!
Yes, this happens a lot.
@DogMom404 We apply for any sits which appeal (hence dates may be coinciding) so it often comes down to who responds soonest and in the most positive manner. My advice is to scan through the profiles of any applicants who sound especially promising, then respond to suggest times for a video call. Decline any applicants you feel aren’t really suitable (it will then free up application slots for other applicants).
With respect, there’s no HO ‘decision’ to be made at this point, except who to speak with on a follow-up call.
An application is an opener, not a done deal where pet parents get to pick and choose, and I’m sure that many sitters will find it off-putting if you respond only to specify the time you’ll be taking to make your ‘decision’. Please do remember this is designed to be a mutually beneficial exchange.