Pet owners ignore super nice messages

I‘m really disappointed and shocked by many pet owners.

I sent REALLY nice, long, friendly, open, all explaining messages, offer to talk to Skype and I even have an amazing review after my first sit, but they read it and don’t reply.

This really hurts me and I even thought they HAVE to reply (they can only receive 5 messages and then they are forced to reply because then the ad disappears).

I‘m really sad! If I receive a super friendly message (I don’t mean here but in other contexts), I would never ever just ignore it!

I even wrote to a person that lives in my neighborhood and I offered to get to know in person and sit more often - no reply!

I‘m really friendly and nice, please believe me!

I don’t understand that and I think we should be able to report those not replying people! It’s RUDE!!!


I had applied for a sit, and included my phone number. PP responded and gave me HER number. I proposed a time to “meet” and she didn’t read that, and I got the cold “declined” message within 2 days, with no follow up courtesy message. Thing is, she goes away a lot, and I’m not keen to apply again.


In your case, perhaps keep the application messages brief, and if you’re really interested, say you would appreciate a personal response either way.


I’ve experienced the same A LOT lately. I’ve applied to at least 5 sits with personal emails relative to each persons profile and I have gotten no responses at all. Not even declines! A couple of them sat for two weeks with ‘reviewing applications’ when I finally removed myself. I have two right now that I applied to on November 2 (8 days ago), one has been in ‘reviewing applications’ status for 5 days, the other only has 3 applicants. I really don’t get it. As a home owner, I always responded within 24 hours. Even back when i got a lot of applications, minimally I would send an email saying thanks for your application, I’m taking a look at them and will get back to you. And I always did with it a couple days. To everyone that applied, just a short note with declines. Not only am I not getting emails from the owner, I’m not even getting the automated email that happens when they click ‘decline’ - which means they’re not evening doing this.1st


Try not to take it personally, obviously it says more about them than you, probably they are just super busy, or reserved/standoff-ish/business like types. Not everyone is sweet and friendly in the world, which is why it’s special when you meet people who are :). Most likely these are not your people and you couldn’t enjoy sitting for them anyway, as they’d probably treat you like hired help instead of a trusted friend. The lovely homeowners are out there-- it’s all about finding the right match-- there are lots of sits so just keep trying and trust that your warmth will shine through for the right person.


Hi Babs and welcome.
Something to understand about THS is it’s like real life. All sorts are members here. Not everyone you meet is lovely. You have to harden yourself to the treatment you get. I always try to counteract it with manners and pleasant replies in case it might rub off, but it never does.
Don’t take it personally or you’ll never survive.


Babs - try shorter messages. A lot of HOs are short on time and a really long message may be putting them off your application. Hope that helps.


Hi @Babs84,

Just know you are not alone. We have recently been sending out some applications (which of course are kind, well thought out messages as well.) They have all been read and the HO has declined us without any sort of reply. Would I be lying if I said I didn’t bother me, yeah. Mostly because as a HO myself when I get really nice long or short applications I always ALWAYS send a reply.

The only time I have declined an applicant is when they didn’t send a message at all just nothing.

Try your best not to get too discouraged just know there any MANY homeowners like myself that are looking for kind/friendly sitters like yourself.


This happens to everyone, both HOs and HSs. We have even already exchanged multiple messages, traveled to meet them and now we don’t hear from them anymore (this happened twice in 4 years but not on THS). A simple “Thank you for your time but we found a different solution” would have sufficed! But we also have HOs who appreciate us sooo much and plan all their holidays around our availability. It very likely has nothing to do with you, but more to do with them (lack of social skills e.g.).


Wow, how very rude.

Big huge life lesson here @Babs84
Your feelings are your feelings and not everyone, actually no one, will ever feel the way you feel.
As @ElsieDownie brilliantly shares, you will do better, emotionally, mentally and in these ventures if you remove attachments from outcomes and expectations of others.
Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care or change your approach or being nice.
We need more niceness.
Just be okay with being you and keep plugging along to your own happy beat.
You will find the absolute best people in this world who will absolutely adore you.

And :face_with_hand_over_mouth: understand that people are fearful, especially when confronted with something as rare as a genuine nice person. But they are out there. We are out there. :wink: :sparkles::purple_heart:
Don’t be discouraged.


@Babs84 I tried to find your profile on TrustedHousesitters, but it says not paid yet. Am I missing something? Hoping this is not the case but if you need any assistance completing your membership, please reach out to our member services team for help!

I think some people are just rude and selfish, i.e. their time is more important than returning a kind message. I think some people see it a bit like dating which has set up an ‘ignoring’ mentality which is a shame. As others say it’s hard if you are a sensitive soul (I am always disappointed) but take the sits in which people are respectful. Also I applied to a sit which was reviewing applications for over 10 days. I was about to cancel and then I was offered the sit! People have different ways of doing things I guess is the overall message :slight_smile:


Hi, THS applications are just like job applications. Keep applying to multiple sits until you get one. I have just completed one year of membership, and I succeeded in taking a 5-month international trip. Half that time was spent on pet sits. I had the same disappointments at first. I had to focus on my priorities and keep an open mind. I was pleasantly surprised in the end. I discovered places I never knew existed and met some genuinely nice people, wonderful pets. I forgot to mention that I did not have a car so I had to choose places accessible by public transportation. There are gems to be found outside of Paris, Barcelona, Madrid, Rome. I made great memories that I will cherish forever. I still have not made it to my first choice- Portugal. Perseverance and patience pay off. I hope this encourages you to pursue your dreams.


I’ve said it before on other threads and will say it again here, I am a HO and I never ignore any applications I receive, each one gets a personal response from me as soon as I see it and every applicant who isn’t chosen, (wish I never had to turn anyone down🙁) also gets a personal message. I consider it to be plain good manners, but I understand that there seems to be an increasing number of HOs who do not act this way and I am sorry that this has been your experience. Please try not to take it personally.


I feel exactly the same. A nice short response would be useful. Karma.

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hi all :wave: I just came here searching for the same answers and mainly lookiing if other HSs are having the same issue. I’v been declined a lot recently without a single word, would be quite appreciated to hear a feedback on my application or simply a reason why I was declined. Let’s not get discouraged though!

@misa_jonas I can understand your frustration with the lack of manners by pet parents (and sitters), but we are in a different World now and right, wrong or indifferent, we have less time to devote to things we know we should be doing…and among them having manners. It’s like following up with a review…the same as folks now don’t seem to find the time to send thank you cards when they receive a gift. I don’t get how this all became so “the norm” but I am really believing it is just the times we live in. I don’t like it but don’t know what else we can do to change it.

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Hiya! I’m sure you’re a nice person but please don’t treat the lack of reply personally. Often HO’s have a lot going on, and just may not have the energy after a long day to reply in any meaningful way, so they don’t reply at all. But there’s a limit, so I usually wait a week and if there’s nothing back, I move on, my rationale being they’ve done me a favour by letting me know the sort of communication I can expect from them…
But keep sending the nice messages! That way, you’ll get nice people replying! :wink:


I have been wondering if my profile has been showing up differently than other sitters profiles because I chose not to upgrade from my original $89 membership.

With fifteen 5-star reviews and many sits under my belt, I have always gotten a response, and quite often an interview, when I applied for a sit.

Something has changed.

Right now I have 4 applications out there, and while one of the HO did acknowledge my application and asked a follow up question (but never responded to my reply), the other 3 have not responded at all. I was the first or second applicant in each of these cases. All of them have been in “reviewing applications” mode for 3-8 days. It is pretty weird, and discouraging. I have also been declined by a few folks without any message of acknowledgement at all.

So it has made me wonder if the fact that I do not have a Premium Badge is influencing things, or if my profile does not appear to HO in the same way that upgraded folks’ profiles do…

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