Backlash/Blowup From HO Review

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

Hello everyone, last week I wrapped up an almost 4-week sit in California. I am a middle aged woman and tend to book/fit best with other middle aged or older HO, as their lifestyle and setups are more similar to mine. We had a great hour long video call and it seemed like a good fit, she was the same age range, and the parts of the apartment that she showed seemed clean and fine. It was not the worst sit by any means, but the apartment was way different from the older photographs (it was much more cluttered and not as clean, and the sleeping arrangement was different), the neighbors were younger (one was a music tutor with instruments, the other was an opera singer, which she did not mention anywhere on the description or call) and I did not feel comfortable or get one full night’s sleep. Because she was traveling internationally and I did connect with the cats, I decided to stay and just make the best of it. I stayed friendly with her and loved my time with the cats, however, I left my review and she blew up:

4 stars Overall

5 Communication and Pets Behavior

4 Cleanliness

3 Hospitality and Accuracy

"The star of my sit was Cat1! He is the sweetest cat, came to greet me at the door, and never left my side. Both are indoor/outdoor, so Cat2 came and went, stopping for a few pets but he was mostly independent and on his own.

PROS: Sweet cats, easy care routine, prime location just a few minutes from the lake, countless shops and restaurants, transportation. Kitchen is well appointed with good dishes and cookware.

CONS: This sit needs to be updated, starting with the photographs. There much more furniture and clutter inside than shown. Sitters sleep on a hard futon in a crowded and dark office, it was killer on my back (I am middle aged with an older injury) and I wound up sleeping on the couch out in the living room. The neighbors are also loud and challenging. One tutors instrument players, the other is an opera singer, and they stomped (and even jumped rope) on top of me until midnight most nights. Laundry is complicated and there is no washer/dryer as the sit indicates. While I enjoyed the cats, this sit might be a better fit for someone younger, or who is in/out and not spending much time in the apartment."

She has now sent me several longgggg bubbles on WhatsApp saying my review was “hurtful and dishonest” and that I was “exaggerating” despite me having several text conversations with her and her neighbors about noise, etc. At one point, it sounded like wild horses and the cats even ran under the bed, due to her neighbors jumping rope upstairs and “not thinking it would reverberate.” I live in NYC, so I do not expect total silence in any way, but this was beyond. I also did not include many petty details like the fact that her long human hairs were everywhere, including in the bathroom rug which gave me the ICK, or that the outdoor patio which looked beautiful in the photos, was dusty and I was unable to sit on it without my clothes looking like mud. It also reeked pretty badly of cat urine, like they had peed on some of the clutter but I was never able to locate the smell.

Do people think this review is “hurtful and dishonest?” Does it seem fair based on what I’ve described. I’ve went ahead and blocked her, and don’t plan on going back and forth any further but just wanted to do a vibe check with the community. Thanks!

2

Seems like a fair review. Except how do you know they were jumping rope upstairs?

3

I texted them, it was a couple and I had both their numbers as I had to contact them to get the key to the apartment. I basically said “hey guys, is everything OK upstairs, it seems like a lot of noise going on,” and they replied back apologizing after over an hour saying they had been jumping rope and “did not think it would reverberate that much.”

4

Sounds fair.

5

Sounds fair to me. Good move on blocking her and moving on. You’ve done your part, I and potential future sitters thank you :clap: .

6

All the things you mentioned are definitely things that are good to know for the sitters, especially the noisy neighbors and the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements. Photos of the space–especially where they will be sleeping-- are one of the main things that help people decide whether the sit may be appropriate for them so the pictures should accurately reflect the home as it looks now.

That she had you sleep there would be a red flag especially–particularly because she did not share this upfront-- and it was good you mentioned it. Relegating sitters to such an uncomfortable space rather than offering them the main bedroom, with what I presume is a regular bed, is not very hospitable. I totally understand hosts who would rather not have sitters sleep in their space, but that shouldn’t be the case when the only other space to put them is like somewhere you described.

I know it isn’t easy to leave less than 100 positive positive feedback all around, but you did the right thing for sure.

7

As a sitter I thank you for your honest review. Block her, have a G&T and move on.

8

If you’re being dishonest then, yeah, it’s hurtful. If you’re being honest, it might be painful for the host but not intentionally hurtful and not your problem.

Do watch for the host posting a response to your review. You may need to use your response to her review of you to set her record straight. Don’t be in a rush to respond; there’s no time limit so take as much time as you need to craft a response.

Finally, your honest review will be read by other hosts down the road. If those future hosts are concerned about your less than glowing comments about cleanliness, clutter and noisy neighbors, they probably have a good reason for being concerned, will move on and you dodge a future bullet. That total package is a strong argument for honest reviews.

9

In all honesty, if her place is in a desirable location, your review won’t hurt her much. Like what some said, she’ll get a younger crowd applying for future sits, or someone who can simply turn off their hearing aids.

Thank you gor your honest review.

10

Sounds fair. Midnight?!?! Wow. That would drive me bonkers as we are early to bed, early to rise people. Good job sticking it out and glad the cat was nice. It was probably peeing from stress due to the noisy environment.

11

That reminds me of a family that used to live above me (NOT my current neighbors!). One afternoon I kept hearing these irregular slams against their floor/my ceiling. I finally went upstairs and the husband said he wanted to juggle some heavy balls. :laughing: I told him he wasn’t very good at it! He wanted to keep doing it, and I told him it was a sunny day and he should go outside… Some people are just too clueless and/or do not care how they impact others around them.

I’m sorry this was a rough sit. HOs can’t choose their neighbors, but if this HO is on close enough terms with the neighbors that you got the keys from them, you’d think there would be some understanding about not being a PITA when there’s a sitter (or ever, but that’s not your problem). The HO should be upset with their neighbors, not you.

Hopefully the HO will cool off and realize they need to update their listing to reflect their current reality and take extra steps in the cleaning.

12

It sounds fair. You pointed out the good about the sit. And the bad. Some sitters – especially older ones will be disuaded by the bed quality and the neighbor noise, but this is exactly the stuff people need to know going in. You can’t please everyone.

13

I think as a sitter one should think about other hosts who will read your review. You sound harsh to me. A lot of times it’s not what you say but how you say it. If I was a host and read all this I would not pick you. The neighbor stuff I would never put in a review as that is not her fault. You could have asked her to call the neighbors or you could have knocked on their door. As a host I would think you have physical conditions mentioning this because of an old injury so I would think you may be too picky about my beds and write negative reviews. Not everything has to be shared to the public. So sitters appreciate it but if it costs you future sits is it worth it. You could of listed some negative things in a kinder way, IMHO.

14

I never expect to sleep in the HO main bedroom, so that I do understand. In the older photos, the (now) office is the same room but the photos show a clean and clear room with a large queen bed, which is also in the written description, and a small bureau. In its current state, there are two desks, several big bureaus with multiple printers, keyboards, and equipment which seems to be non-working, along with some smaller wall-to-wall furniture items. With the futon down, there was barely enough room to move around. Unfortunately during the video call, she only showed the kitchen, bathroom, and strategic parts of the dining area, so I did not see any of the clutter and it looked like the same space. When I got there, I could tell it was the same apartment, but it had seen much better days. Alas.

15

Juggling–oh no!!! Thing is, she described the apartment as peaceful, since there are only 6 units and it is a small complex. I live in NYC, so I am used to the normal share of noise and neighbors, however, I think failing to mention that you live below a literal opera singer and musician who hosts people (badly) playing instruments on a daily basis is outside the norm. That with the old photos definitely made me feel like I was duped.

16

I do “have physical conditions mentioning this because of an old injury” and since I only sit with cats, my “physical conditions” do not prevent me from providing excellent care, since I do not have to walk, hike, or do other extraneous activity with my cat client friends. Any host who would not pick me because I mention this is ableist and not someone I would want to sit for.

Can you please point out what wording specifically in my review was “harsh?”

I realize that the neighbors are not “her fault,” and I live in NYC so I am used to neighbors and a normal amount of noise. However, describing your place as “peaceful,” and failing to mention that one neighbor is an opera singer and doing daily scales/screams, and that the other tutors newly minted instrument players from their home nearly every day of the week feels “dishonest and hurtful.” I did text and communicate with both the neighbors and herself about the noise, specifically the jumping rope and other loud banging. That is when she casually replied she “forgot” to mention the opera/instrument playing and said “she quite enjoyed it.” Both the HO and myself are middle aged women and we even talked about having to get a good night’s sleep with perimenopause, so to me it feels harsh and like she went out of her way to leave out details that would have made me decline the sit. She lives in an area where there are more desirable sits than sitters, and even with the location, the condition of her space and neighbors would make her an easy pass for most sitters, especially someone like myself with 30+ 5 stars reviews (including her) IMHO.

17

There may be things missing. If you saw a queen bed in the pictures and on arrival there was none, did you ask the host about it? It just seems a lot of things you kept bottled up and did not discuss with the host and then decided in the review to vent. If you walked into something completely different you could have called THS, give 24 hours if the sit already started and left. If you choose to sit in an apartment building you will deal with neighbors. I probably would have called a friend and laughed it off. Maybe saying good thing I’m not sitting with dogs or they would be joining the performance. I might have enjoyed the singing and the music from the other neighbor. I sat in a brand new gorgeous apartment complex with beautiful outside amenities but the acoustics were horrible. Every time a neighbor open or closed their front door it was a loud bang. I never mentioned it, it is what it is. A five star sit for me.

18

I arrived after a long day of travel at 11pm in California, USA and the host was in Portugal. I had no choice but to at least settle in for the night. There was no opera rehearsal or instrument practice then at that time of night. I am a professional writer and artist, and grew up going to fine arts events (and still go to theater/opera on a regular basis), however, there is a BIG difference between that and hearing young people learning to play instruments for the first time badly for hours every single day, and someone sing-screaming opera scales. I liked the cats, so I chose to stay and review the sit honestly.

As I mentioned, I live in NYC, in an old brownstone so I am used to bad acoustics, loud bangs, etc. but it is not normal to live around multiple musicians who are practicing and tutoring instruments on a daily basis onsite and not mention that anywhere on your listing or the call. It is also on her to make sure the photos are up to date.

Again, can you please point out where in my review is my wording harsh? Where in the review am I venting? You could have chose to call a friend and laugh it off, I chose to review the sit honestly with the pros AND cons so that others can make the choice if that’s a good sit for them!

19

Someone who lies or misleads is unlikely to take responsibility when called out, even fairly. You reviewed accurately and she doesn’t like it. Good that you blocked her. Thanks for saving other sitters the chance for her to mislead them about her sit.

20

You can’t make everyone happy. Some might see it as harsh others merely as accurate. If the photos are that out of date it is misleading at best. You can do nothing about neighbour noise, but if I am warned about it I can choose not to sit there.