Everyone has their own opinion @mzfrizzle4c. I am of the opinion that you were not too harsh.
Great! So you can apply to that sit, thatâs part of the benefits of honest reviews.
Thatâs fair. If it was 5 stars for you, thatâs what it is.
However, the reviews I most appreciate are informative reviews, even when they are 5 stars.
@mzfrizzle4c, I think your review is honest and helpful and thatâs what really matters.
I tend to choose the sandwich style, where I begin and end with positive feedback, writing the ânot so positiveâ in the middle. Thatâs just my personal choice. I donât think your review sounds harsh and I honestly believe that this HO feels offended because you revealed the facts not because of the tone or style.
First of all well done for sticking it out, I know what thatâs like, it takes resilience, maturity, a sense of responsibility and something âmoreâ as well. Youâll have been counting down the days, finding small ways to make it bearable and doing a lot of self care⌠you survived and that needs to be celebrated by fellow sitters.
Secondly I suspect that you thought long and hard during those weeks about what to write in a Review, a kind of therapeutic outlet during your time stuck in purgatory. And no your Review certainly wasnât harsh, softening it by couching it in ambiguous words would have still indicated the same flaws, but simply wrapped the whole sorry mess of a sit up in cotton wool.
Thirdly, thank you thank you for being honest about your experience of a challenging sit. It provides future sitters with detailed information they can use to decide if they can tolerate all the things which for you made the sit simply awful.
Finally have you reflected on how to protect yourself from anything similar in the future, hindsight learning is helpful in terms of reducing future re occurrences.
Youâre a good person OK! 
Your review might have been âhurtfulâ, but the HO canât dispute that itâs dishonest. It sounds factual and concise to me.
I agree with the number of stars in your ratings. In fact, I might have rated overall rating as a 3 for not disclosing (or lying about):- the lack of laundry facilities , sleeping on a futon, and the noise for a 4 week sit. Itâs subjective but these are things that would have been dealbreakers for me.
However, a couple of things you wrote in the review could probably have been written in a kinder tone. For example,
A) the headings âPROSâ and âCONSâ didnât need to be included - itâs obvious thatâs what they are.
B) your sentence âThis sit needs to be updated, starting with the photographs.â sounds a bit aggressive. Perhaps, sticking with the factual tone you have in most of the other things you wrote would have hurt the HO lessâŚsomething like âThe photos in the listing donât reflect the state of the apartment during the sitâ.
On the whole though I think you were spot on in your level of disclosure (so you werenât dishonest). Whether you were hurtful is subjective - the style / tone of some of your sentences might have been. As sitters, we donât have an obligation to be kind in our reviews, though I would be mindful future HOs may read the reviews you leave and note the tone of how you deliver negative feedback
I stand by what I say. I think your writing style is harsh. It doesnât appeal to me. There are ways to say things and people will read between the lines. If I was a host and read that I would not choose you. I wouldnât feel comfortable having you in my home judging every aspect of how I live. I would want someone who goes with the flow. Itâs a temporary situation and the clutter to you may feel warm and cozy to the host. Example of how you could have wrote about the clutter, the house looked much more lived in than what was shown in the pristine pictures. If you are comfortable in what you wrote then our opinions shouldnât matter to you.
Should people need to âread between the linesâ though? If a HO has been dishonest in their depiction of their sit, this certainly needs calling out in the review. The HO who is less than transparent about the condition of their home or noisy neighbours is always going to risk getting a review like this. To be fair Iâd have leftâŚ. so they certainly risk sitters responding like this too. I think itâs different if the HO describes their home as easy going with musical or fitness neighbours, and a futon bed, Iâd know to avoid.
She never asked her about the bed. I would have text her even though she was in a different country and said, the photo shows a queen bed for the sitter, I donât see one. I would have put her response in the review. I would not have said slept in a dark cluttered room on a futon. The way she writes she would not get sympathy from me if a host which I have been on other platforms. I donât write reviews to appease other sitters.
Your review is supposed to inform other sitters
It informs them by posting the answer from the host. Not degrading a host on her lifestyle. Maybe she canât afford anything else. I donât know if the host was intentionally uncaring. Her response to the queen bed would of revealed that.
Do you see the irony here?
Thank you for this feedback @Lil. I do agree with not calling out the âPROSâ and âCONSâ and will keep that tip for future reviews. I wasnât sure how to deal with the photos, as it became clear during our communication that she kept âforgetting to mentionâ certain things and she straight up lied about the washer/dryer. I didnât want to do a full on dispute with THS, but I doubt she would update the sit with the current state of the apartment without some motivation because most sitters would pass if they saw all the furniture/outdated equipment that is actually crowding most of the rooms now. In the office/previous guest room, I was barely able to move around and while I could tell it was the same room, it hadnât been that way in a long time. Anyway, whatâs written is written.
Thank you to everyone who reached out, it has all been helpful, now it is time for my G&T haha!
I wouldnât put âPROSâ & âCONSâ, too obvious, people will judge their own pros and cons
I actually do. But I donât like when a host or sitter is being shamed when nothing was intentional on the their part. Since nothing was communicated to her about the bed or neighbors while the sit took place, I think her review is unfair.
You have a right to stand by what you say, and I have a right to right an honest review. I was not âjudging every aspectâ of how the HO lives, however, the condition of the apartment including moving around inside was completely different than what was photographed or even shown during the video call. If clutter âfeels warm and cozy to the host,â than she couldâve easily photographed and shown updated pictures with all the warm, cozy outdated keyboards, computer printers, old equipment, etc. so sitters can see and decide if they want to sit in a tech junkyard/hoard-in-progress. I did want opinions, which is why I made the post, however you have still not pointed out which of my writing/wording was so âharshâ in the review. Alas, I have gotten some good feedback from others, and you will now go the way of the blocked HO! G&T for all! Cheers!
Hi @mzfrizzle4c. If you are satisfied that you have received enough feedback at this point, you can request that the thread be closed by a moderator.
I did communicate with her and the neighbors multiple times during the sit about the noise, specifically the rope jumping incident as it frightened the cats, and about the stomping late at night. What was I supposed to communicate @ the bed, the photos showed the same room with a completely different setup, I think the host knows there is a queen bed in a clear room shown in her photos which is also in her written description vs. her current office setup with a futon, desks, big furniture, and discarded tech equipmentâshould I have said âwhere is the bed in your office hoard?â It was a city apartment, not a rambling mansion full of different rooms.
Iâve pointed it out. Itâs how you say things. Iâm sorry if you donât understand. It really doesnât matter. There is no right or wrong, just difference of opinions. You didnât need to respond to everything I say and I donât have to keep explaining things to you. You chose this sit and chose not to address certain things while the sit was in progress. The host feels you then came out of left field with your review.
(Post edited by the Forum team to comply with the Community Guidelines).
I donât think the review was harsh. Iâm a sitter and homeowner. As a sitter, I am very grateful that you informed future sitters of the drawbacks. As a homeowner, nothing you wrote would deter me from choosing you as a sitter. I want an honest, assertive, sitter.
Thank you for leaving an honest review and helping other sitters avoid a less than ideal sit. Enjoy your G&T
Wow, I guess dishonesty and deliberate omission of important information doesnât mean anything to you. I guess you would have just left the sit. Better to have a critical review than desperately trying to find a replacement sitter. My opinion.