Potential Sitter: Please do not game the Trusted Housesitters system. It is based on trust. I have been “worked” by potential sitters with their enthusiasm and flattery. I confirmed them, but then was kept hanging in Limbo while they “shopped around” for a better deal. This site is about trust. Don’t “Bait-and-Switch”. That’s dishonest.
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No one is obligated till they’ve mutually confirmed. Given that, move on if someone doesn’t accept promptly and officially. Maybe they weren’t as keen as you thought. Maybe they suck at being upfront. Maybe they mistakenly thought they were being diplomatic. Some people don’t like to say, “no.”
You won’t know their reasons, but you can gauge their actions.
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@Redman97203 I think most sitters will aim to be friendly and enthusiastic if they reach the stage of being invited for a video call- after all they did apply for your sit and want to make a favourable impression!
However they may also have applied for other sits in that time frame, the same as some hosts may be looking at several sitters.
The video call can often be a deal breaker. We have withdrawn our application a couple of times when we felt something ‘off’ in the call. Otherwise we would usually expect, if all goes well, to be offered the sit during the call and to accept it. And then immediately confirm it on the site.
I do believe all sitters and hosts should be upfront at the beginning of a call, (not at the end!!) If they are considering others. For example a few times we’ve had a nice long chat and thought it was a done deal only to be told at the end that they have calls with other sitters lined up!! I really hate that lack of transparency. Its time wasting. In such cases we usually withdraw our interest because the steam is out.
Basically untill you officially confirm the sit- both ways- on the site- no one is committed.
An application is only that. It is not a guarantee that person will end up sitting for you.
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An agreement is not final until host has sent an invitation to confirm AND the sitter has accepted. Until then both parties can look into other options should they wish to.
If you have sent them an invitation to sit it is perfectly alright in my opinion to set a time within they should accept. Just don’t make it too short so that they are not able to properly plan travel etc., so they will possibly have to withdraw later.
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Welcome to the forum @Redman97203 .
We are sitters and have done over 25 sits . For the majority of these sits we have applied, had a video call and both parties confirmed the sit, all within 24 hours .( Often the process has been completed in 2-3 hours )
It’s not bait and switch - THS encourages sitters apply for more than one sit and until both parties have confirmed the sit, it’s not a done deal .
I understand that you don’t want to be “kept hanging in limbo” waiting for the sitter’s decision . To avoid this , you could set a reasonable time limit for them to decide ( e.g 24 or 48 hours ) let them know about this when you offer them the sit and then if you haven’t heard in that timeframe you could withdraw your offer .
Then you can offer the sit to another sitter who has applied or unpause the listing so that more sitters can apply .
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At least the new rule about overlapping sits means sitters have kept on applying once a sit is confirmed and if they are accepted fora “better” one they make up some lame excuse and ask you to unconfirm them.
I am sorry you feel you are being played but it seems to be the way of the world now. Everyone is looking for something better and don’t care the havoc they cause when they find it. I can assure you there are people here that once they have a confirmation that’s it. I am one of them.
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It’s not bait and switch or gaming the system. Applying to a sit is just expressing interest in the sit. I couldn’t possibly commit to a sit just based on the limited information in the listing. A video call is a requirement for me and I have declined sits after getting more info in the call.
When I apply for a sit, I have no idea if I will ever hear from the HO. I could just get an auto decline, or it could sit in limbo for months because they never confirm a sitter (some make other arrangements and neglect to remove their listing). Sitters need to apply to multiple sits since we obviously aren’t the only one applying to any given sit. HOs can consider as many applicants as they would like, sitters should certainly be able to consider multiple sits. And we should choose the sit that we feel is the best fit for us.
If you confirm someone and they don’t accept within a reasonable time, just move on to another sitter. As a sitter if I don’t hear from a HO within a few days, I just move on.
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Hi @Redman97203, welcome to the forum.
I’m sorry they didn’t respond promptly. Communication is key and I really hate it when my messages are unanswered or the answer is misleading. So I understand your frustration. These situations, as others have said happen to both HOs and sitters but that doesn’t mean it’s OK.
It’s not clear in your post if the sitters have said they accepted the sit or you just assumed they would because they sounded enthusiastic. It’s not clear either if there was a video chat or you just offered the sit after reading their enthusiastic application.
For future sits, you may consider asking during the video call (supposing you are interested in offering them the sit) if they are ready to accept the sit straight away, if they have also applied for other overlapping sits or they need to check travel arrangements. Hopefully, they will be honest or perhaps hesitant and you can go from there.
The vast majority of my sits have been mutually accepted on the video call and confirmed within an hour.
As a sitter, I have been told at the end of some video calls that they had more calls programmed and they would let me know in one or two days if they offered the sit. Only a small percentage of those have ended up in a sit. I feel if someone is happy enough with a sit (HOs or sitters) they usually agree to go ahead with it during the video call and confirm shortly after.
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As Sitters, we have encountered “bait and switch” from Owners. We are currently doing a one week Sit which we agreed to several months ago. On arrival, we were “asked” if they could have a crew of men on the property to complete the creation of a water feature pond and fountain. They had a concrete pour scheduled during our stay!
Wow!
We were reassured that they would only be here for 2 of the 7 days. We agreed.
Well, a crew of men were here for 4 of the 7 days!!! The way the house and yard are arranged, there is zero privacy when people are in the yard, and the dog is barking at all the commotion. We had to move cars to allow the crew access. What a debacle!
Sitters beware…
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Bait and switch has a specific meaning. I don’t think it applies to this behavior. I would use bait and switch to describe a home that is not as the photos show for instance or a sitter who presents competely differently in person than on paper. For example, a solo sitter showing up with children.
But I agree with you that the behavior you describe – basically stringing someone along - to the point where they decline other great sitters is deceptive to say the least, and certainly inconsiderate – not only to hosts but to other sitters who’ve applied.
Here’s what I now do as a host to not get burned or feel like a victim: I don’t wait for sitters who are putting off chats. There is a good chance the sitter is keeping you on the back burner while waiting to hear back from another host. So if somehow my request for a Monday chat isn’t going happen before Friday because the sitter is “very busy” I let them know that’s fine, but I’ll be setting up other chats before then and I won’t put off a decision. If I have the chat on Monday and I’m ready to offer the sit, I ask if the sitter is ready to accept the sit or needs time to check transit or schedules. If the sitter needs time to dicuss with a partner, employer etc or check fares, I ask how long and let them know that I won’t send them an offer until they are ready to accept it, but I need a definite time they’ll get back and I put limits on how long that can be. So if agree on the morning, and they haven’t gotten back to me to say, “I’m ready!” then I move on. If they haven’t gotten back to me by the agreed on time, it also tells me something about reliability.
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@Marion Your experience as a Sitter and Host have blessed you with a full understanding of the process and the ability to “put your feet in the shoes” of Sitters.
Your approach is really great. All Owners should take note!
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A sobering fact to shed light on the sitters’ frame of mind: sometimes we apply to 10, 15, 20 sits and receive no reply at all. You can’t fault people if they want to wait a tad longer and see if someone else replies, however you can give the potential sitters a maximum amount of time you’d like to hear back from so you won’t feel you have wasted your time.
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Nothing is agreed until you officially confirm that you’d like them, and they officially accept, if they kept you holding on, you should have quickly prompted them to confirm by the following morning if they were still available and keen to sit for you, and add something like ‘because we think you sound perfect for us.’ to make it sound more friendly. If they don’t confirm, simply move on, they aren’t the right sitters for you.
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Really? So your steam is out when you know there are other sitters interested? To be honest I’m confident enough to be totally fine with it. I know that I can get that sit when i really want it. I just know. It has nothing to do with arrogance, but I know myself, the care we give, the feedback we get and so I couldn’t care less if there’s other applicants. We seem (and think are indeed) to be really nice people and I think we radiate that.
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As I read it not because there are other applicants but because the host isn’t transparent on the process. Which is two different things. Good for you that you know you will be chosen either way. 
The question is - would you chose the host whether they’re transparent or not? It seems Lokstar would opt out of a sit for a non-transparent host. Which I can understand.
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In your opinion, what is an acceptable time to wait if no time limits were set in the call?
@Fatamorgana I think you misunderstood where I’m coming from. I have no problem at all with other sitters being in the running. We too sometimes have multiple applications on the go.
What we usually find is if the call goes well we would agree the sit during the call and confirm on the site straight after.
If a host says (only at the end of the call) that they will be talking to others and will get back to us its a clear sign (to us) that we have not quite ticked all the boxes and they want to keep all their options open. If they have found the perfect sitters (in us)why would they NOT want to confirm immediately? Rather than risk losing us. We’ve had the experience that a host says at the end that they have another call scheduled but that they really want us so will cancel that other call. That’s good. They are clear and decisive. If they were to continue with the other call regardless it would be time wasting for the other sitter and we wouldn’t like the uncertainty and being kept hanging on.
We had one situation that the host couldn’t decide on the spot (between us and someone else she’d spoken to) despite having a great connection with us. We knew we were perfect for her sit and really expected to confirm the sit on the spot but she wanted to let us know the next day… But what is there to think about? You either want the sitter or not? We felt deflated by this uncertainty and she must have sensed it. We decided privately we’d give her a few hours but she called back 5 minutes later to offer us the sit, and it was lovely! If you snooze you lose!
If I was a host I would take the following approach…
I’d carefully analyse all applicants, acknowledge & thank each applicant and tell them that I will get back to them asap. I would set up a call with my no.1. If it didn’t work out with them I’d arrange a call with no.2 etc. I would do all this as fast as possible do as not to keep anyone hanging on. Before pressing the confirm button for my chosen sitter I’d send a quick & polite decline message to each of the others so they don’t just receive the THS auto decline.
This is how I, as a sitter, like to be treated.
I don’t think its a good idea to set up multiple calls in advance because if you like no.1 you either have to cancel the other calls- which is potentially embarrassing for the host and disappointing for the sitter. Or if the HO proceeds with other calls, having already made a decision, its misleading and they are wasting the other sitters time.
My hubby and I are not a time wasters. We like to make clear and quick decisions.
Like you- we know our worth. We sense immediately if we are going to get/choose the sit. A video call is not a job interview. If the HO having read our application, studied our profile, read some of our 100+ reviews, and had a video call with us yet is STILL not sure - then we know we are not the right match!
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Sometimes pet parents forget that applicants become disinterested after finding out more details. A few days ago I applied to a sit and when I woke up and checked my email, a confirmation was sent over. I will not confirm a sit until I get my questions answered. I sent over my list of questions and it turned out that there would be a 2 day overlap with them on the front end, one day on the back end, their neighbors might pop over, and stated it would be great if I could drive the dog over to see their father weekly. None of this was stated in the listing. Had I confirmed, it would not have been a fit with us. I’ve had this before where confirmations are sent after I apply without a call or video call. This is not a one sided confirmation. I wasn’t shopping around and it was a lovely location and the dog duties were fine. I don’t think they were trying to bait and switch anyone. It probably just didn’t occur to them that some sitters would say no to the no 3rd party rule
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a hard no.
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In THS terms of service it is said that a member should answer a member within 72 hours, so that could be a guideline.
In my experience, my THS sits have usually been agreed in 24 hours from videocall - often within 24-48 hours from application. Interested people act.
From other areas of life, whether posting an ad, asking someone to be a boardmember, inviting to New Years Eve or other - people hesitating to answer, saying they will think about it etc. without stating something in particular they need to check first - are not really that into it. They would often say it either because they have difficulty taking a firm devision or they want to keep you as an option in case they can’t find something better. It is rare in my life that much comes out of such a situation. In some cases it is even disrespectful as it knowingly keeps others hanging.
My experience is that if people really are interested but they need to confirm X, they will say so and when to expect an answer, or they will tell you this if you ask.
If they truely are interested but bad in communication, oblivious of how it impacts others and impression given etc., then it might be a signal that they don’t tick my boxes for a host.
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