As a host who frequently uses Trustedhousesitters, I just wanted to share how frustrating it is when you confirm a sitter who had applied and then they immediately go silent. This seems to be happening more and more often.
I appreciate that you might need a few hours to work out your plans. But please send a reply, even if it’s just to say “I need a bit more time to decide but will confirm within 24 hours”. It’s maddeningly annoying when someone has applied saying they really, really, really want to sit for you, but then they go totally silent once you actually confirm their sit.
Once you’re confirmed, other people can’t apply. If I hear nothing from you, I have literally no idea if you have any intention of accepting the house-sit that you said you were really keen to do. After 24 hours of no communication, I have no option but to cancel the confirmation and find someone else. The TrustedHousesitters messaging system shows you that the other person has read your messages, so it’s not a question of not having access…
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When I apply for a sit and our mutual vetting process works well, I always immediately confirm. Many sitters do likewise. With folks who go silent or drag out confirmation, it’s likely that you’ve dodged a bullet.
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Welcome to forum @Matt_M !
I’m sure many here on forum agree with you (also sitters on the subject of the hosts… )
It came to mind - is this after you’ve had a videocall with the applicant?
Did it come up new information in the videocall which could have an impact?
(Some hosts would send an invite to sit without a videocall. Some sitters find that unappealing, as they need a videocall to find out more on whether it is a good match or not.)
Just trying to figure out what is happening and if something can be done.
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Assuming that the situation you are describing is AFTER a video or phone chat with the prospective sitter, I believe the most likely scenario is that either 1. the sitter has applied to multiple sits and trying to decide between them, or 2. the sitter is figuring out their travel plans.
If it is number 2, it would be simple for the prospective sitter to tell you what is happening.
Therefore, it is most likely number 1…
If you had a chat and during the chat, the sitter agreed to sit for you, and then they fail to click on “accept sit,” that is pretty rude, and I can understand why you are frustrated.
What can you do in the future to prevent this? Once the sitter has agreed to sit for you, you could literally be on the phone with the sitter and tell them that you are going to click on “confirm” and ask them to click on “accept” during the phone call.
I would not personally settle for sending messages through the THS message system and be waiting for a response. I would CALL the person and TALK to them. If they do not answer their phone, I would send a text and give them a deadline (such as, by 6 pm PST) to accept the sit.
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Personally, I would not appreciate this approach. While 90% of the sits I done have been confirmed/accepted immediately after the call, I think it’s fair for both HOs and sitters to be able to think about what was discussed on the call. There could be something that came up in the call that wasn’t necessarily a dealbreaker, but that I might want to consider before accepting. Or, I typically have no idea what the expected arrival time is before the call. I may have to check to make sure I can arrange to be there at the time they have requested. If someone wanted me to accept during the call I would consider that a red flag. However, I think giving someone 24 hours to confirm or accept is sufficient time. If a HO didn’t confirm within 24 hours of the call, I would likely move on and if a sitter hasn’t accepted within 24 hours it’s reasonable for the HO to move on.
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Would you “move on” without communicating?
Would you set the 24 hour deadline verbally during the chat?
Unfortunately it sounds like this person has sent out a few applications and now deciding between them. This is why I only apply to one at a time. If I don’t hear back and there is another one I like I will apply to it. I would hate to say, sorry, something better came along. ( In so many words.). Yes I can see where it is a frustrating process for PP. You spend time reading profiles and weighing which person fits best.
I would say if the person doesn’t respond soon, hopefully there were others you are comfortable with to contact.
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Yes, I always communicate. If I was withdrawing my application, I would send them a polite message as I do in any scenario where I’m withdrawing (or declining). I would expect the same from a HO. I wouldn’t set a deadline, but I would find it odd for them to not confirm promptly (most of my sits have been confirmed immediately after the call), unless they said they have calls with other sitters scheduled and have indicated they will get back to me by a certain day or time. It’s up to them to communicate too. If they aren’t planning to make a decision right away they should let the sitter know. Same for sitters as it’s not fair to leave HOs waiting.
Absolutely, communication is key.
Communication during the initial chat should be honest/genuine. If sitter would need time to organize their travel, this should be mentioned during the chat. “I am very interested in sitting for you, but I need to double check schedules and make sure that I can arrive at X time before I can commit.”
Then sitter would do some research (THAT day/evening) and owner would expect communication (yes or no).
Owners should not have to take a proactive position to prevent this type of situation, but unfortunately, they need to. How do you create boundaries without raising a red flag? That is a fine balance to strike.
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I’m so sorry to hear that sitters are doing this!
agreed
As others have indicated, the post-application call is a good place to talk through the arrangement and feel each other out. I can usually tell during that call when an HO is saying they’re interested but actually seems like they really aren’t.
Similarly, that’s the right place to talk through logistics like “how long do you need to know whether you’re willing to commit?” Sometimes, there are practical considerations like travel arrangements that just require a little time to lock in.
If you’re not doing a call with applications before confirming the sit, that could also cause some sitters to hesitate. I’ve had this happen to me a couple times, and it always gives me a moment’s pause – not because I’ve lost interest in the sit, but because it feels abrupt, since we haven’t had a personal conversation and haven’t had a chance to talk through whether or not it’s actually a good fit for both of us. There’s no requirement to have a call before confirming a sitter, but for some people, they would consider it too much of a red flag and would be uncomfortable accepting from someone they haven’t had a chance to really talk to. As with most aspects of THS, it comes down to personality preference here.
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