This is a bit of an AITAH, but I am on a sit and this HO didn’t want to meet ahead of time, they said I could come after they had left at 2pm, totally fine. Then it was 4:30, then 5. I rolled with it and got to the sit after they were gone.
The Welcome Guide was pretty sparse in general an we didn’t agree on a time I would be leaving on the last day ahead of time. I have done quite a few sits and its never been an issue what time I go on the last day.
I reached out and asked an ETA for them so I can make sure I am not leaving too early. I have a 12 hour drive ahead of me an I expressed that. The HO asked me to stay until noon because they weren’t going to be home until 6pm.
That is crazy late, and I am not sure what the guidelines are on this, but that gets me at my next destination at 1am conservatively. I countered with 10am, and I have been left on read. i think I am going to get a neg review over it. Is this unreasonable, or should I be expected to stay as long as they are asking?
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NTA, but this is something you and the HO should have discussed before the sit began. Even better to confirm arrival and departure times before even confirming the sit.
I dont think there are any “guidelines”. There are too many variables for this to be codified by THS.
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This should’ve been agreed on before you mutually agreed on the sit. Especially because you had such a long drive to make, I would’ve thought it important to discuss early.
It was a bad idea for you to assume that you could leave at X time and for the host to assume that you could stay till X time. Seems like you were both at fault — poor comms and lack of planning.
Maybe you can stay overnight and leave the following morning?
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What type of pets are you sitting? Usually with a cat leaving whenever is fine but not always with dogs even if they have a doggie door. Some dogs have serious separation anxiety and can be destructive to the home if left over so many hours.
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This needs to be agreed in advance as there is no standard time to leave. Ultimately this situation was not a suitable match for you, and the responsibility for that lies with both parties.
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@Nomadicjess, this seems needlessly complex. And probably very inconvenient for you. As you are already on the sit then short-term advice likely moot. But suggest that there are learnings for future, as this situation may often be avoidable.
Recommend that you confirm dates/times of Pet Parent arrival/departure, and approx date/time of housesitter arrival/departure upfront in video call. Aside from logistical clarity then this often confirms that the Pet Parent has indeed booked/committed travel plans … no committed plans = decline for us.
Recommend that you take deep breath and appreciate your own time! Housesitting is voluntary and works wonderfully when the “trade” between Pet Parent and housesitter is fair. For context, we recently had a call with a first-time Pet Parent that expected that we arrive (by international flight) early morning at property (before they left) and leave property late evening (after they returned). Was a short sit and we faced a choice of walk away (just too difficult) or have a reasonable conversation - latter approach worked for us as open dialogue yielded a materially more agreeable solution.
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You and the HO should have had this worked out when you first had a video call or phone call. I’m a HO and we always discuss this before a sit is confirmed to avoid the problem you now have. Hope it all works out for you. Good luck.
Unfortunately this is something the two of you should have agreed upon prior to confirming the sit.
One sit we did was for a family wedding- I knew the house would be in chaos before they headed out (mother and daughter) so we offered to park ourselves at a certain time in a cafe 10 minutes away and wait for a text to go to the house. They left the key under the mat. It worked very well. However at the end of the sit we agreed a time to leave 9am, they were driving back from a hotel and said they’d text once they got home so again we went to a local cafe for brunch and waited and waited. 3 hours later no text. Finally at 1pm a text saying they wouldn’t be home until 4pm!! I said we’d gone (we hadn’t) but I’d only hung about in the area in case of an emergency. I felt it was their choice in the end to leave the dogs that long…. it created a lot of stress.
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Although it is an older topic and the OP has probably already left 
it could be useful to others:
It should be agreed ahead of sit, but it is also possible to say something about what works for you. In this case for instance
-we need to leave at 10 am. If it is not possible to get back in time or organize somebody that can come back, we can stay until next day and leave before 10 am then. Then the host can choose to come back sooner, get somebody to pop by, host you until the next day or stay themselves in a hotel or other the last night.
It surprises me how many seems to think they need to ask or get permission, as if the host has all privilege and leverage. I think everyone, both sitters and hosts, would prefer to start a journey earlier in the day so that they can reach their destination by evening. It is common sense and easy to understand.
I tell the host how I organize my trip, how I prepare my departure etc., and ofc I give them the choice if it is doable - then they can decline my application or cancel the sit or they can choose to make it work. So far they have always chosen to make it work. So far, all my departures have been «cold». I clean the home, feed/ walk the pets and put the key where we have agreed, and message the host when the pet was last fed/ walked and when i left.
I stayed until afternoon once, I had already booked a hotelroom close to airport for the last night. The host offered to host me, so it was my choice - it was more convenient as I then didn’t have to consider rush traffic going to the airport.
The point is really about a good match. Also as a sitter you can and should have an opinion on what works for you. I at least find it much easier to find solutions if the other party has an opinion on what they prefer.
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I think when folks say discuss it ahead of the sit, they’re usually including the possibility of discussing what works mutually.
No sit should be automatically be based on a host deciding X works and a sitter just abides — since THS is essentially a bartering platform, the exchanges need to work for both parties.
Sometimes, folks won’t be able to make things work and they should discover that early, so a mismatch can be avoided. But sometimes, it sounds like folks try to force sits, because they need somewhere to stay, or a host or sitter might not share key info, which can lead to what would’ve been avoidable problems.
Personally, I have lots of flexibility with my schedule, because I don’t tend to stack sits and I often stay in the area beyond a sit. If I need to leave at a specific time and there’s a window during which the hosts’ return might be delayed, I discuss at the outset what will happen if so, to avoid the pets being left too long. In such cases, they have friends or family or a dog walker who can step in.
If I had flexibility to stay later on short notice and the host needed that, I’d expect them to pay for my rescheduling a flight or such, but that would be on them to offer, not on me to ask. If so, I’d just say, unfortunately, I don’t want to be out of pocket on their change of plans.
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For our next sit the HOs are coming home on the flight that 20 minutes later we will get onto! We’ll probably meet on the tarmac. It’s an Island Airport.
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At least you know each others comings and goings
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never mind. old topic. already said.
A host just told me that she is having issues with another sitter about when to leave and it occurred to me that it would be a good idea for hosts to have a “back-up” plan in case their arrival home - by whatever means- is unavoidably detained. It just takes one delayed flight to throw a wrench into your plans. Maybe get a family member or neighbor in the area to agree to be a back up pet sitter in an emergency. Always good to have a Plan B if needed!
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