I arranged a Christmas sit months ago. However, they still haven’t confirmed their dates as they haven’t booked flights yet. They keep saying, we’re going to do it soon, but they haven’t as yet.
As im fairly new to THS, is it reasonable as a sitter to request definite dates? I don’t have to book any transport myself to get there: but I do need to arrange healthcare appointments, apply for other sits etc.
What would you do??
They need to book & confirm! There are way more sits than sitters over Christmas so you snooze, you lose. Imagine if the situation was reversed, then they’d be flapping. Give them 48 hours or you’ll pull out of the sit. #holdyourground
I assume the sit is officially confirmed via THS already and not just an oral agreement?
In any case, I would give them an ultimatum, explaining that you need to schedule appointments and future sits.
If they agree, ask them to change the previously confirmed dates to the exact dates, so you are ‘protected’ in case anything goes wrong.
If they’re not willing to, simply explain that you can not honour the sit and ask them to cancel, so you can look out for other sits.
It’s an exchange, you are not at their mercy.
Arranged or confirmed? Cause if confirmed through the site they actually have. The definite dates for their departure and arrival are the start and end dates of the housesit…the ones the host lists in their ad, and the ones you’ve both accepted and confirmed. If that’s not the case, you’re absolutely within your rights to cancel.
It’s a red flag they didn’t handle this properly before publishing the ad. Always ask for specific times when chatting, before accepting. Good luck!
If the HOs know this about you it may explain why they are being so lackadaisical about firming their dates.
You could give them this information to see if it prompts them for dates.
As for your core question is it reasonable to request definite dates? Absolutely. In fact, it is the VERY first question on my list for use during video chats.
You are of course being reasonable expecting exact dates 6 months after agreeing to the sit and 2 months before it starts. Given that the sit is over the holidays now 2 months away, their travel costs are not going to be less expensive from here.
I’d suggest giving serious thought to canceling unless you really need to sit in their specific location. Again due to the holiday season, you’re in the driver’s seat while the hosts are being oblivious and inconsiderate. Would they be so wobbly arranging visits with friends or family? I’d hope not. Many/most hosts treat sitters as guests in their homes and those that don’t are the hosts most likely to muck up a sit. So maybe cast a critical eye on why they’ve left you hanging and if anything seems off, move on.
I have messaged recently, explaining this. Ive had a feeling for a while they are possibly not sure they are going away at all, but that means Its stopping me looking out for other sits.
Yeah, its quite the dilemma!! The sit is confirmed. I feel i would be letting them down: but they haven’t booked any flights yet, so they’re not committed to a trip as such yet.
If I was to do that, say I feel i can no longer honour the sit, would you give a detailed explanation? How would you do it? Looking for suggestions!
@LancashireLass I would be honest and say that you need to make appointments and can’t move on until they give you the exact dates.
Yes. I need a minor hospital procedure once every 3 months, the next one being due in January. Once given a date, its practically impossible to change it, as there’s not many such appointments available 4 specialist treatments
Update: I have just messaged, saying I can no longer honour the sit (thanks for the suggested wording!). Ive been asking for confirmation of dates for at least 2 months now. If it was another time of year, it wouldn’t be so crucial but with it being Christmas and New Year, Friends and family are asking me what my plans are and I keep saying, well, I don’t know!!
Make sure they cancel the sit for on their side. If they don’t then ask THS to do it. This releases the dates for you.
It’s the total opposite!!! We’re sitters (from Durham UK), you are not letting them down, they have let you down. They have not committed themselves to you at all, and they have not taken your thoughts or your Christmas into account at all.
You have put your life on hold for them! You will find some drag their heels on here, but most don’t, most act fast to secure you, no matter how new you are to the site.
We have one rule, the ones that drag their heels are welcome to do so with their own lives, not with ours.
The way we see it is that it’s totally fine if an owner hasn’t booked their dates yet, but if they want us, they need to book them asap to set things in stone.
A perfect example of what should happen, just happened to us a couple of days ago:
Waaaay less than 48 hours start to finish. That’s the type of owner you need to sit for… and she’s newer to THS too.
Don’t put your Christmas on hold for anyone, there’s plenty of owners out there that would love to have you 
@LancashireLass, congrats on making positive decision to move forwards. As @BonnyinBrighton noted, suggest ensure that sit is cancelled on THS so that you can apply for alternative sits.
Suggest that there’s two distinct issues here - PP commitment to trip; PP/HS confirming specific dates.
We’ve faced similar situation last year in regards latter of these. Trip seemed credibly likely but PP book flights much later than initially indicated. We have made plans before and after housesit so would have been tricky to cancel. In the end, PP did book flights. Suspect subset of PP not appreciate impact of their actions, or inactions, on housesitters.
In any case, onwards. Hope that you secure a wonderful alternative housesit for the festive period.
If it were me, I’d look for other sits. If they were hiring a paid sitter, they’d have to do this. A free sitter absolutely deserves the same consideration.
Good for you! You dodged a bullet. And it’s the opposite; They’re letting you down by not honoring the agreement. The host need to decline you in the app; that way, you’re both free to reach out to others, and the sit is officially cancelled.
I’ve tried this too, luckily only once. They booked flights that deviated four days from the original agreement (which means it’s no longer valid). They were obviously eager for me to accept the changes (though completely self-inflicted, that’s where the pressure of not knowing kinda flips). Subsequently, I received a WG revealing a hidden, massive dealbreaker. So, not one but two valid reasons not to accommodate.
Instead of being transparent from the outset, they now had to find someone else, which they seemed to do shortly after. There’s no record of who, which could mean another cancellation or something happened during the sit that ultimately terminated it. In other words, it can be an indicator of more surprises than just date changes.
If it ever happens again, remember:
• Any date changes require the other member to accept/decline them.
• Members can cancel for any reason more than 14 days before the confirmed start date; after that, it requires an ‘extraordinary’ reason - which already applies in your case.
• The host must enter the new dates and send a new invite for you to accept or decline, since the original is no longer valid.
So if reversed; If they’d sent you new dates and it took you two months to decide.. it’d be past Christmas by then.
@buttercup - I didn’t know this. I thought the reason had to be ‘extraordinary’ immediately from the time the sit is confirmed.
@Starlinggal I thought so too, until seeing it in another thread, was confirmed by THS
I know this will be a lesson for you but, in future, I suggest you don’t accept a sit until the owners have confirmed their flights. In the meantime, keep looking and applying for other sits.