Unconfirming sits - A two-way street

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
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Hello! Hope this post finds all reading it in good health and high spirits. We are writing this from our twenty-second pet/house sit, and wish that those either sitting or connecting with sitters is enjoying the experience.

It would be interesting to accumulated a general consensus on how the sitting community, especially sitters, feel about pet and home owners solely having the ability to unconfirm a sit, effectively cancelling an assignment, yet sitters do not have this same ability.

Our primary motivation for seeking this change on Trusted Housesitters has arisen due to a circumstance we have been faced with.

A pet owner invited us to her home for a one month sit, which commences at the end of next week. Despite the travel involved, flight from our location and a subsequent train journey to their location, and the assignment being a last minute offer, we decided to accept.

However, we woke this morning to a message from the pet parent explicitly stating that we do not arrange travel, as her adult children have not yet decided their plans, and may wish to stay for that time.

We are in a compromised position. We have committed to a pet sit for one month, we have been ordered not to plan travel, which is filling fast. The pet owner has not committed to us fully, but has not explicitly cancelled the arrangement either.

We cannot apply for any other sits to cover that time due to the Trusted Housesitters cut-off policy and Trusted Housesitters support cannot unconfirm the pet sit as the pet owner has not explicity ordered its cancellation.

It is our belief that sitters should have the same capacity to unconfirm pet sits, as they are the ones organising and covering the cost of travel, just as pet and home owners can unconfirm sits as they feel fit.

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Concrete question: Given your experience as sitters, I trust you have asked the HO to cancel the sit? (I didn’t see it in your message above). If you ask(ed) and the HO wants to play hardball, so can you - “We will not show up under these circumstances, and we are happy to present our communication as evidence in case of external litigation.”

(The only downside is, of course, that you’re left with a gap, and if you’re fulltime sitters, this is a problem.)

About the general ability to cancel: I do not believe, either party should have the ability to do that. I understand why this was introduced, but I believe…

  • if anybody needs to cancel, they should have to present the reasons to a deciding council (in this case probably THS); this needs to be a mitigated process. (I am a HO, and I would like this feature to go away and be replaced by a process)
  • if a sitter and a HO build good rapport before committing to the sit, and then confirming the application, both will feel quite obliged to the other party and will do whatever they can to avoid hanging the other one out to dry
  • of course, if you can’t build rapport, don’t commit to the sit

In the end, nobody in the world can force you to show up, but I understand that this is a conundrum.

PS: Sorry, had to edit a few things to clarify.

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Surely in your scenario it breaches the t&c’s, what was agreed is no longer the situation, so @support should be able to help.

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@petshopgirls completely agree. This is supposed to be an exchange of equals, the fact that only one side of the exchange has the power to cancel is a real problem.

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THS is unlikely to ever implement that change and definitely wouldn’t do it in time to help you. I would be livid. How can the HO think it reasonable to leave you dangling like that? I would be requesting that the HO unconfirm me ASAP so I could pursue other sits (in that area if I had already booked my transportation). Please keep us updated about this as you can help us learn how to handle similar situations.

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I also find this HO behaviour very odd, irresponsible, and disrespectful. I would believe this could be an unexperienced HO who doesn’t understand the whole spiel, or someone who’s just inconsiderate in general. I’m sorry this kind of HO exists here.

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I’d be very unhappy at being ‘messed about’ like this. I agree that as they are the only party who can unconfirm it is very unfair in a situation like this. In your shoes I would make it plain that their behaviour is unacceptable & ask THS to intervene to get the sit unconfirmed.

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In your place, there’s zero chance I’d sit for that host.

Can any of us help you by messaging other hosts with open listings now?

BTW, on the Facebook groups, some sitters post about their sudden unexpected availability and connect with hosts that way.

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As @MaggieUU says, I would ask the HO to cancel the sit. Screenshot everything first. If HO doesn’t do it, ask THS to do it with photos from the messages.

I wouldn’t like to sit with a host with so little consideration for me as a sitter, as I would regard it a risk also for other incidents during the sit.

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You have to be inconsiderate and disrespectful to do that, being inexperienced would not really excuse it. IMHO

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I agree with everyone else here that you should get the sit cancelled ASAP. If I were you, I would go straight to THS with the message they sent. They have already broken the T&Cs and the sooner you are freed the better.
You don’t mention if you have booked flights and train, it sounds as though you haven’t. If you have and you are a premium member you can claim some compensation for accommodation. This would cover part of your expenses but it would not cover the whole month, you would need to find another sit.

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As everyone else has said here, the HO has no sense of mutual exchange or it being an equal relationship between you and them. Screenshot the “instructions to wait”, contact support & ask them to cancel the sit on your behalf. They can do that. It doesn’t have to be the HO & they’ve broken their agreement. Then you’re free to look for other sits asap. Even if they do suddenly “confirm” they sound like HOs who might return early, change their minds again & aren’t thinking of you in all this. #putyourselffirst

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I’m not so sure anymore, after reading how THS advertises their services, it could well be a misunderstanding of obligations. We’re in the 2020s, many people don’t look past the rim of their own teacup, lack basic social skills and responsibilities, and … well, come to think of it, all this I suppose just proves your point… how sad

Sitters, please please screen your HOs carefully and interact mucho with them before the sit, so you know what type of person you’re dealing with.

Same applies to HOs, but we are generally already careful who we leave alone outside of any kind of control with our million dollar homes and super-breed pets…

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Hey, @petshopgirls, what happened? Are you going ahead with the sit or did you cancel?

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This is ridiculous! Have you gone to THS to ask them to cancel the sit?

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I am a HO and have to say that’s just rude to keep a PS in limbo. They should either say to their children: no or cancel complete the pet sitting but well ahead of time. It would only make sense to cancel a pet sitting if something very bad happened (sudden illness etc.). I had to cancel a pet sitter (and the vacation we were looking forward for soooo long) this year because of an health issue. But I did it as early as possible to give the sitter a chance to get a new sit. It’s also possible that the pet sitter has to cancel because of a sudden illness etc. but in both cases both parties should do it asap. In your case I’d ask the HO to confirm the sit immediately or cancel it immediately.

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I totally get what you are saying, but imagine if there starts to be some difficult communication and issues with a sitter … do you really want to have that sitter forced to be staying in your home and watch your pets because her/his/their inability to cancel? That’s a bit tricky right? For my part, as a sitter, if I commit to a sit, I am not backing back out unless for medical reasons that could arise … I think that it is important for both parties to be responsible and committed, but as you said, nobody can force you and even if they could, it would not be a good situation for any of the parties involved…

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I believe “just cancelling” and letting the other person hang is irresponsible and must be discouraged as well as possible, so I’m firm in my belief that cancelling should always be a moderated process, regardless of the circumstances.

Having either side (or both) be able to cancel just permits more recklessness - you can always weasle out of taking responsibility there.

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I understand the reasoning behind your suggestion. However I can see several issues with it .

•How is this “deciding council” staffed, trained and paid for ? Additional THS staff & training for them will come at a significant cost - which will be recovered by a rise in membership fees for everyone.

• Without the need for evidence people can simply make up a “valid “ reason for the cancellation . However requiring proof also seems too onerous to be practical. What reasons and evidence will members need to provide ? A sick certificate from a Dr to prove an illness ? A death certificate to prove a bereavement ?

• How long would the process take ? I can imagine a backlog quickly building up and any delays in decisions ( even a 24 hour turnaround) would have a negative impact on both sits and sitters who can’t move on and make necessary plans .

• How can the decision of the council be enforced? Since neither sitters or owners are employees of THS, THS has no power or authority to force an owner to accept a sitter into their home and equally cannot force a sitter to turn up to a sit.

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Hey @Silversitters - you are right on every single point, of course. Some of these points can be mitigated (the matchmaking that THS does is a commercial service, so they also have to provide services).

For me, it is mostly about deterrent; if it’s a process, you might (a) take it a bit more seriously and think more and (b) be deterred to just cancel on a whim.

We’re all entering an unspoken/unwritten contract, and it should be clear that that is what it is, because so much is riding on it (on both sides).

If everything else fails, of course, bring the case to me and I’ll tell ya :stuck_out_tongue:

Elmar.

PS: Sometimes I think that the pretty lucid and very constructive and responsible folks in these forums should be the deciding council.

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