It is not a rule but it is quite common.
I am on my seventh sit now, and on five occasions I was invited for dinner the evening before and stay at their place the night before they left.
Next one expects me around 9 am. The HO after that saw a gap in my THS calender and very cordially invited me to come early.
It has also been common that I was invited to stay a bit longer.
Many HO prefer doing an inperson handoff if possible, so if a sitter is coming from out of town, this might be offered. However, in a big city, many âhomeownersâ live in cramped apartments and this wonât work. There have been a few circumstances where I offered an overnight for sitters who werenât going to be here for an inperson handover, but either they came in and stayed elsewhere OR picked up the keys from neighbors. (I have cats and video tours and demos) I think dog owners probably have more reason to want to do an in person meet and greet and/or give the dog a chance to get to know the sitter(s).
Iâve done international and domestic sits, and never been asked to stay over before the sit starts. I always arrange my own accommodation for the day before, and show up for the handover at the HOâs convenience. It could be 7am the morning they leave for the airport, or the evening before they depart, so they can spend the night and morning finishing their travel preparations.
Even sits Iâve applied for but not accepted after communication, no one has expected me to stay the night before. Normally the night before a trip can be chaotic as you rush around doing last-minute things, and I know I wouldnât want a stranger underfoot, or anyone Iâd have to give consideration/attention to. I was invited to stay over on a sit once, but it was close enough to show up on the day, and the HO seemed to be offering out of obligation, not because she really wanted me there while she did her thing. Iâd rather not be there with the HO anyway.
We are hosts and in the fortunate position of having the space, so we always ask if our sitters would like to come the day/night before and we obviously feed them that night, either in the local pub or at home. Itâs nice to meet the person who is going to be living in your house and looking after your animals (cats in our case). I know there are instruction manuals etc but actual human contact is generally better!
There have been occasions when the sitter lives close by and we are leaving later in the day when they have just arrived an hour or so before we leave but for us thatâs not the norm.
Itâs more the norm that the sitter will leave a bit before we are due home if we arenât doing an international flight. We have a fall back position of neighbours if we are delayed.
We do make it clear in the initial contact with potential sitters that we like to offer this and so far itâs worked really well and weâve had some great nights!
We did 4 B2B sits in Britain and in each case we were offered and accepted, to stay the night prior to the sit starting and had a lovely meal with each of the HOs.
On the other end of the extreme spectrum, on our very first sit ever, the HO insisted we arrive after they had left. We had done a video chat, but only met in person very briefly when they arrived home.
So it shows to go you, if varies widely from sit to sit.
I agree that the review system is very flawed, and I agree that most sitters who have had poor experiences have chosen not to review at all, rather than risk retaliation. I once did a house sit and noticed that none of the house sitters prior to me (except one) had reviewed the owner and this has happened since I did the house sit. This is something I need to factor in when I look at future house sits.
I stuffed up at one house sit once but I accepted the responsibility and despite having a negative comment written about me in my post, the HO did actually write positive feedback about me as a sitter and recommended me. I replied back with honesty and have still managed to have future house sits.
In fact, one HO asked me about it and appreciated my honesty.
I have undertaken a repeat house sit when I was extremely disappointed the second time. The HO did not clean their house for us before arrival (it was extremely dirty with food items left in oven and sink) and left items in the doorway which made it difficult for us to get in and out. They have been asked to write a review but obviously think I would retaliate so havenât.
I agree that I am feeling less and less confident about THS member support.
Thatâs what Iâm thinking but itâs never occurred to me there might be audio recordings.
It really depends. Some owners have offered me to stay for several days beforehand, some owners ask the sitters to arrive for several days to see them with the animals (that is rare and, I always think, a bit late by then!). Most usual is if the owners are leaving very early in the morning. I prefer not to spend too long with the owners before they leave but have often spent the day before and enjoyed lunch and dinner with them, and been shown around the locality, introduced to friends/neighbours and walked the dogâs regular walks
Thanks Marion, itâs really comforting to hear that this wouldnât necessary deter a host from considering sitters - and that hosts are able to assess a negative piece of feedback on balance/in contrast to the rest of a sitterâs profile and track record. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.
It has been great to have your suggestions and we certainly wonât be tempted into entering ârevenge reviewâ territory. I think at this point we are more concerned with ensuring that the evidence/information is passed onto THSâŚ
Hi KC,
Thanks so much for taking the time to write such a thorough response. It has been a real comfort to see the support and suggestions of the wider THS community.
I do agree that designing a âperfectâ review system is a near impossible task - and I think we can appreciate why the current system is arranged the way that it is. For the most part, we have loved the âgood faithâ premise that THS operates on, and can see itâs beneficial in that is discourages both parties from getting hung up on trivialities, minor inconveniences, and subjective expectations.
Itâs SO reassuring to see how many sits youâve successfully completed without issue - which gives us faith that these experiences really are just a minority!
I guess itâs just left us feeling a bit shaken/vulnerable - and wondering if our hosts had chosen to speak to us like this during the sit (or indeed weâd have challenged the cameras during the sit), what kind of support THS might have been able to offer as a moderator.
At this point, the HOs are yet to act on posting their claims publicly, so we are still waiting rather anxiouslyâŚ
Thank you for the kind words, quoting their original message in the review response is a great suggestionâŚespecially since it is quite detailed and goes beyond a simple thanks! It would look sorely at odds with anything negative they may choose to shareâŚ
Depends on what their complaints/claims are. Like I said earlier, there are several things that could be not immediately apparent at the end of a sit, but learned about (or imagined) later. Damage, theft, things heard/seen by cameras, personal/confidential things rifled through, reports of lengthy absences from pet care, unauthorized guests, parties, other complaints from or confrontations with Nosy Nellies who didnât inform them right away⌠heck, they could even hear from neighbors that your âintimacyâ was audible or even visible!
CERTAINLY NOT SAYING ANY OF THESE APPLY TO YOU!!! Just examples of a few of the things they could have found later on that they hadnât known about at the time of their initial positive feedback. So if you do want to reference that positive feedback in a review, keep in mind that if any of their negative feedback involves things that would cast you in a bad light and you wouldnât want to see publicly shared, the âno review/no reviewâ route might be a better option.
However, if theyâre complaining that they found a hair in the bathtub, a box of crackers half empty, their special shampoo used, popcorn under the sofa, a closet left open, a porch light left on, the microwave uncleaned, or anything minor like that, go in guns blazing. Only you know what they actually said about you, and whether or not youâd like it broadcast⌠especially if itâs blatantly untrue, which Iâm assuming it is.
@WendyNL Please notice how many respondents mentioned something about FOOD even though you did not even ask about it! Itâs pretty important, I guess!
Being invited to dinner the night before is not primarily about food. The sitter would not starve without it, and offering food is basic hospitality. But the meal is about socializing, getting an idea about who these people are.
It is also âshop talkâ: about the pets, about previous experiences with sitters and hosts, about expectations, about the neighbourhood and the town. All the stuff that cannot be in the welcome guide.
Hi JessieM,
I know exactly how you feel. I had a very upsetting experience a few years ago now. Thankfully the owners are no longer on this site. I have always had excellent five star reviews and had good comments regarding them from home owners, who have chosen me. However I sat for one couple who were plain nasty. They arrived back late, after midnight opening their post and drinking coffee etc. They had not wanted me to stay the night but had said I was not going to leave at a late unearthly hour and was asleep when they arrived home. They were fine and pleasant when I left very early in the morning, taking breakfast with me to eat on the moors. No mention of anything being dirty or untidy etc. However when I arrived home extremely tired after journey taking more than two hours longer than it should, due to queus etc. and eventually checked emails there was this absolutley awful upsetting one, saying I didnât even have the decency to let them know I had arrived home, the fridge looked like I had thrown my dinner over it. Accused of damaging plants and bushes hit by the storm. A horrendous storm first night, when i risked life and limb using a torch searching for their cat that vasnished but came back just before midnight. Likely in a neighbours. Ended up picking up all their recyling that was all over the place in the morning. Had the riot act thrown at me for moving a few rocks on their driveway. Afraid of reversing into them, as out of line of vision and actually thought I was being helpful and doing them a favour. And then they said there were cupboards of dirty plates and glasses etc. etc. I only used one bowl and plate that I left on draining board until leaving. I did however discover their dishwasher fully jam packed with dirty dishes on the fifth day. I was kind enough to put it on for them and then put everything away. But all the way through the email they referred to me as the cleaner in a derogatory way, saying they had never come across a cleaner such as me. I hoovered the whole place the day they arrived back including hoovering any food crumbs in the fridge and gave it a wipe all over along with all work surfaces. I just burst into tears on reading their horrtible comments and it was far worse than the few snippets I have mentioned here. I showed it to me daughters and they could not believe it and said from what they had written you would have thought I had wrecked the place with an all night party and perhaps I should have done, as the comments could not have been any worse. Owners said they would report me to TH and get me removed etc. etc. I immediately contacted TH and whilst sympathetic only said that some peopleâs standards of cleanliness are different to others. In the end neither of us gave each other a review. The experience really did shake me up though and couldnât stop thinking about it. In the end I think perhaps it is a bit like tripadvisor comments, whereas if lots of five star reviews and then one odd one star, you are more likely to think that it is the person leaving the one star review who has the problem. And thankfully my confidence has been restored, as have been contacted by so many lovely home owners wanting me to sit for them, due to my lovely reviews. Please just try to forget the one bad egg. I know it isnât easy but best to think of it as them having the problem and not you.
@Visit Oh your story made me so sad and angry. Iâm so sorry you had to go through such a traumatic experience- because thats what it was. Its awful that such people exist on the site. Good they are no longer hosts and Iâm very glad you are feeling better now and your confidence has been restored. Unfortunately many of us, myself included have had at least one horror sit and can empathise. Fortunately, as youâve also experienced, most hosts are lovely- kind, friendly and respectful.
Iâm so sorry that youâve had such an experience. Very challenging when experiences on THS are meant to be wins for HOs, sitters and pets.
Itâs a shame that such people exist. Theyâre out in the world and therefore will naturally exist on THS, unfortunately. To a degree, no platform can keep all such folks out. There also are tensions and conflicting interests when running a business, any business. They tend to try to balance and not alienate paying customers â which we all are. Ultimately in such circumstances no one is totally or even often largely satisfied. Itâs especially hard with home and pet care, which are so personalized. And with unreasonable and/or nasty people, thereâs no winning.
I learned the above when I had jobs in retail or service as a teenager and later in college. The best to do with such people is to wrap up contact ASAP and move beyond them. Theyâre not worth carrying around with even your thoughts. They certainly arenât thinking about you, because theyâll be thinking about themselves, LOL.
Hi Lokstar,
Many thanks for your kind words. I guess there is always one and I found them. But to receive their email after over a six hour drive home was sole destroying. And not only that but it appeared that they thought of me as merely their unpaid slave for a couple of weeks, as constantly referred to me as the cleaner. Anyway it was a few years back now and thankfully not had an experince like it since.
Thanks for sharing your experience too, Geoff.
Itâs interesting that this happened with a âfriendâ/person known to you. Oddly enough, I had heard of a few similar experiences from people who had informally taken on house sits for people they knew - it became part of the reason that THS (as a community of people with similar values) seemed so appealing!
Weâre still trying to figure out the logic surrounding the three-week delay. Like you, we do fear that they want something. There has been reference to the cost of their petâs physio (though the pet had a long-term condition and has required regular treatment for years) which leaves us feeling very uncomfortable.
Will certainly take your advice on board in terms of evidence gathering, waiting it out - and responding carefully if/when a review is made.
In the mean time, we wait rather anxiously! Thanks for the kind wishes 
Iâm so sorry this happened to you.
Basically an identical situation happened with me and my friend. HO was beyond happy and thankful upon their return, offered for us to literally LIVE with them if we had nowhere else to stay. We thought we were golden.
Fast forward a week later and no review. I call HO and ask if we can swing by to have a cuddle with the pets (weâd looked after them a really long time so had formed a really strong bond with them). Everything seemed fine. My friend (a boy) left the room and HO cornered me (a girl) and started shouting at me for things they thought weâd done wrong and (like you say) bad things about our character. Everything HO said was a lie. Completely delusional. I cried for hours and we left out the back door without saying goodbye.
I still have nightmares about that exchange. I would chalk it up to an extreme personality. To be honest, weâd already seen hints of this flip-flopping emotional outbursts from HO but never to this extent. I promise you it gets easier. You wonât feel lost for long. If you can, throw yourself into another sit. I know it probably seems scary right now but it was the only way for me to personally move on - prove to myself not all HOs are like this.
Sending love x