Hi everyone,
I recently received an uncharacteristically negative review on TrustedHousesitters and could really use a little feedback or perspective. I’ve completed many successful sits—both on THS and privately—and this is the first time something like this has happened.
The homeowner mentioned that I left the door to her apartment open after leaving, which of course was never intentional. She lives on the first floor of a large NYC building, and while nothing bad happened, I completely understand how upsetting and scary that must’ve felt for her. I reached out to her directly to take responsibility and apologize, but I haven’t heard back yet. I’m now preparing to respond to her review publicly, and I want to strike the right tone—owning the mistake without sounding defensive.
Has anyone been through something similar? How do you balance accountability with giving context in a public reply—especially when a mistake was clearly accidental but had a big emotional impact? I’d love any advice from folks who’ve navigated something like this before.
You mention in your heading “some surprising negatives “ but only mention one @sparklez7. What were the others and how did the HO star rate you? Will you be addressing them in your response or just the unlocked door?
You have acknowledged your mistake to the owner and apologised. I would write the same in your review response, as security of a property, especially, I’m thinking, in an apartment block, is critical. Future HOs will see you have taken responsibility for this and learnt from it. Although it has impacted you emotionally, try not to let that come through in your response. I hope you have more sits coming up so you can put this one behind you.
You stress it wasn’t intentional, but that isn’t the point - I doubt anyone would do this intentionally. If you raise that in your response it’ll sound as though you aren’t taking it seriously, and it could reoccur.
I think the best response would be to admit it was a one-off oversight due to rushing, but you have now added ‘return to double check door is locked after taking all your belongings out’ to your personal leaving checklist to ensure it never happens again.
By not trying to excuse it as “clearly accidental” and having “big emotional impact”, which makes it sound like the HOs are overreacting. (Hint: They’re not.)
What does “it was never intentional “ mean with this situation. You left the door unlocked! You did not check to make sure it was locked which is part of your responsibility to secure the house. Sorry but I would also have been livid if it was my house. At this point I would not want to hear you were in a hurry, who cares, or other lame excuses. I would just own up to it. I assume she mentioned it in her review. I would reply, I take full responsibility for not checking the door twice to make sure it was secured. I am relieved that no harm was done to the property or pets. All I can do is offer my sincere apology. Checking all doors twice on homes moving forward now’goes on my checklist.
Thanks for all of your responses. I forgot to mention that I never heard about this being an occurrence until the review was written a week later. We had been texting intermittently (very cordially) since I left as I left an item behind that she shipped to me (I stated she didn’t have to as it was my mistake and apologized multiple times). I sent an extra $10 on top of the cost for shipping (which I would have done for anyone doing something like this for me eg. friend, family member, etc) so she could treat herself to coffee, etc due to the inconvenience - which was before I had any idea about the door. I would never ever want to make a “lame” excuse or mention any excuse at all however my father passed away very recently and this was one of the first sits I’ve done since. Being emotionally preoccupied could have certainly contributed to my oversights that, again, have never happened prior. I’m aware of how truly unfair it is for the home/pet owner to be on the receiving end of those oversights on my part and the anger is completely valid, so this has definitely caused me to re evaluate taking care of others loved ones and properties when there’s a chance I may not be mentally ready to do so as shown by this occurrence.
I already sent her a long text after seeing the review yesterday and haven’t received a response so I guess my original intention for this post was to ask about how to move forward with a response to the review on the site given that I sent an apology via text after reading the review and if being in the dark about the BIG mistake I made until reading the review is normal? Below is what I texted if that is helpful (replacing the pet name with “Y” for anonymity):
Hi X,
Thank you for your honest review. I completely understand the need to mention what happened. It’s definitely something I take seriously and I’m truly sorry for the stress it has caused you (and Y, and your neighbor). As you said, that’s not a mistake I would ever intentionally make - even if I was just going quickly in and out - nor has it been one I’ve ever made unintentionally. I feel awful that this happened.
I do genuinely wish I had been made aware about the issue sooner, as I would’ve appreciated the chance to address it directly and take complete responsibility at the time (with full support of you still including that in your review). I’ve done many sits through THS and privately, and this kind of oversight is incredibly uncharacteristic of me - even the fact that I left items behind which I felt uneasy about.
I always aim to be hyper-responsible, and leave everything better than I found it. That said, I take full accountability for what happened and am very relieved Y was safe. I know how serious this was and I’m deeply grateful that your neighbor noticed and the cat was okay. Our pets are seriously like our children/family members so it makes me sick thinking I imposed that type of fear on you. I truly appreciate transparency on the site and in general. Thanks again for the opportunity. Wishing you and Y all the best.
The total review was 4/5 stars but she gave 2/5 for organized and 3/5 for happy pets due to the door being left open + leaving items behind. These items were:
A small container of cream cheese I forgot to throw out
A small box of reusable plastic cups
A face roller/depuffer left in freezer that she shipped to me and I explained our communications re: this below.
No need to rush in posting a response to the review as there is no deadline. You only get one chance at that response so make it a good one. I would encourage you to be brief (much briefer than the text to her that you posted).
-thank her for the review
-apologize for the error
-commit to being more careful in the future
I see no need for more.
Seems like a pretty reasonable review based on the circumstances you described. The items left behind are likely not the main reason for the lower stars, but on top of the door being left open may have seemed like oh, what else now to the HO.
@MaggieUU is right on about the best response to the review.
I think she’s been very petty re the items you left behind. @MaggieUU has suggested all you need to include in your response.
I feel for you having lost your father recently.
A forgotten item is a detail, but several things reads disorganized, I can understand why the host might mention. I think it is fair to just describe what it is like the host did. It isn’t an advantage if a host writes that the sitter forgot several things without stating what it was. Then your imagination get free range.
Agree with others, keep an answer short. Really short.
We all make mistakes. No sane host is going to read the review and worry you are going to leave their door open.
Don’t lose any sleep over it. Once you get a couple more great reviews, that one will lose it’s negative impact.
thanks everyone again for your responses. very helpful. some final questions before i respond to the review: is it worth mentioning that i was not aware of the door being left open until she wrote the review a week later and i read that (after we had been communicating in a friendly manner via text since i left and i apologized multiple times about the items i left behind + sent extra $ for a coffee/breakfast run via venmo when reimbursing her for shipping one of the items to me for the inconvenience)? or am i better off just taking the high road and keeping it extremely short, sweet, and fully owning it?
Just own it. Mentioning that you didn’t learn about it later is irrelevant.
With several items left behind and the door left unlocked, that sounds scattered. If you want to explain anything, you’re better off explaining how you’ll avoid that on other sits.
I think it would be useful to mention that you had a bit of brain fog since you had just had a bereavement and while being apologetic are hopeful that you won’t be so forgetful again. I know I wasn’t myself for quite a few weeks after my mother died suddenly and wouldn’t like to have been judged for my behaviour during that time.
Not had a negative review for something I did. However, off this site I had a brilliant review that also stated at the end that I had not communicated well enough. I was gobsmacked. When I looked at the interactions on WhatsApp, we had communicated every other day. They never said anything about this on their return and we spent a couple of days with them handing over. I asked them to remove the comment about not communicating and they refused. So I did not approve the publication of the Testimonial. Can you do this on THS - not approve it? I think if it is something I had done, I would like the owner to discuss with me first and hopefully come to an agreement about whether it was worthy of ‘reporting’. It was a mistake to leave her door unlocked but would have been good to let you know and have chance to respond as I gather you did later. Good luck with future sits.
I totally get how you feel because I just completed a house sit that I thought was very successful only to receive a mediocre review from the owners.
They distrusted me from the get go even though I have a lot of experience house sitting. So yes, you can be the best house sitter, but even some people are impossible to please.
It’s easy to get discouraged, but know that it’s on them. Not you.
I received a very poor review a while ago, that honestly was justified by the homeowner’s viewpoint. Because the situation was so bad we left the sit before they left town. I agonized over how to respond to her scathing review and looking back on my response a year later I’m very glad that I took a few days to think about it. My response was calm, honest and caring about the hardship that our leaving placed on her while still explaining our very justifiable reasons for leaving. I think it was the caring but honest tone of my review that has helped me to get sits since then. So thats my advice, like you said, own what you did, explain you feel bad but it was a honest mistake or whatever the answer is but address how you understand their feelings as well ask explain your own.
Aww thank you for sharing this, it definitely makes me feel seen. That’s so interesting you say this because the homeowner had one bad sitter a time prior to my sit (which actually made ME hesitant at first) but I could tell on our facetime call there was a bit of projecting onto me even though I was the one with perfect reviews lol. It seemed like a one off so I gave it a try but I could tell even with the leaving of the trivial items that it may be difficult to win this one…and then it was a self-fulfilling prophecy because of course I make the huge mistake of leaving the door open on top of that and here we are :). Always a learning experience though!
