this is my first sit and i’m thinking this is not what i signed up for. i’m really concerned for the well being of this cat. given it’s an old cat but it’s still way too skinny and not eating enough. HO is aware and mentioned possible dementia and probably nearing end of life but i think he needs to goto a vet to get properly diagnosed and most likely put on medication and/ or special diet. i’m heart broken and feel like i wanna take him to a vet myself but it’s not an emergency. and i haven’t contacted HO and it’s only been about 24 hours into sit. idk if i’m overreacting but he is not a healthy cat. he’s a bag of bones! and on top that - the home is pretty dirty & i started taking pics bc idk if it’s up to code of conduct standards. any advice?? please & thank you in advance.
That sounds tough. The HO may instinctively know that there’s no point taking the cat to a vet if they can’t afford the medication/ special diet and/or don’t want to commit the time to the pet’s care.
All you can do is give the cat as much love as it’s willing to take and leave a factual/honest review of the state of the home so that future sitters are aware. And maybe reflect if there were any red flags that you missed when considering whether to take the sit?
one red flag (not pet related) that caught me off guard was that HO recently moved & had not updated photos on the advertised sit… so there are literally still boxes everywhere. but i was/am unfamiliar with the meeting/setting up arrangements/ acceptance process so i had nothing for comparison. also HO texted me that a rug was coming in the mail… which i had to drag into home. is that normal/ acceptable?
I personally wouldn’t mind moving a rug unless it was really too heavy for one person (in which case I might have asked the delivery person to put it somewhere out of the way). It is housesitting after all ….
In your shoes, I might reframe the sit as a learning experience or you could end up getting quite miserable. Try to make the most of what there is to enjoy about the area. Keep a note of the things you don’t like or that weren’t disclosed e.g. inaccurate photos; x number of boxes in x,y,z rooms; cat’s state of health. At the end of the sit, write a factual but honest review. I find it helpful to ask ChatGPT for a first draft.
In future, set up a video call so that you can check out the homeowner and see if you think you will get on. Walk on by if anything seems off. You’ve been unlucky this time and you will dust yourself down. This experience is not the norm - I’ve had about 20 sits and only one or two of them caused issues that would prompt me to refuse a return sit.
Keep us posted about how you’re getting on if it helps to vent.
We need a couple of extra details, what country are you sitting in, because different countries have very scawny cats, and also how old is the cat, and does the owner have reviews?
The rug thing, or any parcel, is just one of those things we would just do. We take in parcels all of the time, as the owners presume these things will turn up before they go away, but quite often they don’t.
thanks for the advice. the cat’s well being is what matters most. the condition of house is secondary. i will address it in review & with HO.
we’re in the USA. it’s a 14 yo cat. HO has one review - all 5 stars.
I’m no vet, but at 14 year old it’s trickier. Some cats live quite content until 25 years, but 14 is still old and a vet can’t necessarily stop the aging process, they eat less, they play less, and it’s just a case of giving them love and attention when they want it.
If I were you, there’s no way I would comment in his review about the cats condition, because it’s 14 years, it’s an old cat. But the house looking different to what you expected etc is a different thing entirely.
For future sits, stick to younger cats for a while (10 and under), so that you don’t have the same emotional stress. I feel for you, you’re a great sitter to be concerned 
Old cats tend to die of chronic kidney disease. Weight loss and loss of appetite are typical of the disease progression. Cat dementia is also common accompanied by weight loss. Both conditions are terminal there’s very little you or a vet can do once disease progression reaches a certain point. It sounds like the owner is already aware of all this. What would you be accomplishing by taking the cat to see a vet?
@OntheRoadAgain: Finding out if the cat does actually have an undiagnosed disease which can be treated. If kidney disease had been diagnosed (not just assumed) the cat would at the very least be on a special diet, which I presume is not the case.
Really, 14 is late middle age for a cat. Although it’s quite possible his age has been mis-estimated at some point. I would expect a cat pushing 20 or beyond to look like this one, but not one of 14. Either way, he definitely needs to be seen by a vet, to my mind. Letting an animal endure pain (which he might be) or discomfort just because “he’s old” isn’t how I roll..
Yes, there may not be much a vet can do. But there may be lots.
That doesn’t solve your dilemma though, @JoanofBark. In a similar situation with an old cat, whom I suspected had dementia, I fell back on my go-to… Of leaving a friendly card for the HOs (who were great people), but adding a note mentioning that I’d observed certain symptoms and maybe they’d want to consider getting Schnoodles checked out, in case he could be made in any way more comfortable.
Seems something like that is the only solution available to you. What a sad situation to be in, though. I’m sorry this has happened on your first sit.
For the home - what some do is that they clean it to their own comfort, and then there’s very little you need to do at departure, as the home would regardless be better than you found it. Just remind yourself that is what the sitter is supposed to do - leave the home as they found it. Not “clean”. Some would also see if they could close doors to certain rooms they are not going to use anyway, saving them a sore eyesight but then one also can say that I haven’t cleaned it as I haven’t used it - that was the state of the room.
Regarding the pet. I certainly can see why it could be hard to see a skinny cat. That reminds me of a conversation I recently had with my own vet regarding my own senior pet: “Nowadays there’s so much we can do. That is not the same as that we should do it”.
In pets and humans there are lots of things we can do to prolong life. We have to be aware though, to be mindful of prolonging life and not prolong the process of end of life. Maybe that thought can help you. For an elderly cat, possibly with dementia, the best thing for the pet welfare could be to let the cat be comfortable in the state it is in.
The alternative could be to prolong the life of the pet while its mental health deteriorates, possibly with more anxiety and confusion for the pet? I can’t really know, but as it is maybe it could be helpful with this perspective.
If it’s any comfort at all my cat got very skinny and raggedy looking as he aged, but he appeared to not be in any pain and just went about his day as usual. Just do your best and know that you have done that. And honest review.
How long is the sit? Chat with the homeowner to get an idea of when the last vet visit was. The homeowner may be managing this as best they can. Often cats get skinny when they are old and become a bit anorexic but if the cat isn’t eating at all that’s a problem.
One of the hardest things I’ve had to do as a sitter is accept that the pet is not mine. I do everything I can to love, honor, and cherish the pet while I am there and I communicate thoroughly with the homeowner, which is usually well received. I’ve noticed many homeowners have adjusted so slowly to their pet’s changes that sometimes they don’t see what is right in front of them. If I pose things in terms of questions and concern, versus blaming or diagnosing, it is usually works well.
I would probably try something along the lines of, ‘Many older cats have hyperthyroidism, which makes them lose lots of weight and appear to have cognitive changes. It is easy and inexpensive to treat. Has Fluffy been tested for hyperthyroidism recently?’ It is so hard to walk the line between being concerned and playing “Google vet.” Communicating the facts that you’ve observed (the cat is skinny enough that hyperthyroidism is a possibility) and providing reassurance (treatment is easy and inexpensive) might prompt them to visit the vet when they return.
Of course there are a thousand other things it could be. Kidney disease, cancer, diabetes, just old age. Not your job to figure that out. But a gentle nudge to get the cat to a vet will then let the vet take over.
And if they don’t - do what you can while you are there. “Love the one you’re with”, and make the days happy while you can. (Of course if a pet is visibly in distress I would take them to a vet no matter what. It is those ‘gray areas’ that are the hardest)
I agree with Kittysitter, and I would like to add that one of the HOs I cat-sat for, mentioned in her review, that I had noticed some changes in her cat that led to a vet visit and a diagnosis of diabetes. The changes were subtle and gradual, and not as obvious to her owner, who sees her every day.
It sounds like you did not know the cat was in bad shape beforehand. Since they know and it obvious, the HO should have mentioned it in the listing and clarified if they have had him checked out.
Something like
“ we know he looks rough but he’s been checked out and there is nothing to be done. As long as he is happy we are keeping him comfortable until his time. “
They should also discuss plans in case he goes downhill on your watch.
I sure hope that they have at least tried to get him help.
My friend had a very old cat that no longer groomed and he looked awful, but was happy . He didn’t suffer and passed peacefully at about 19 years old.
The last 2 cats we lost died of chronic kidney disease. One was 14, the other 17. “Bag of bones” would have fit a description of either cat during the last year of their lives. There was nothing that could be done other than subcutaneous fluid injections which were tried but didn’t provide any noticeable benefit to either cat. Neither cat was ever fond of the kidney care diet and, during the last 3 months, we would have fed them anything no matter the cost if it got them to eat.
A visit to the vet couldn’t hurt but likely won’t help if a vet has already been consulted. It’s not clear from @joanofbark that the owner has not taken the cat to a vet.
If the rug was large and something you would not expect one person to be able to bring inside easily, that would be inconsiderate. And poor planning on their part that it may be delivered while you where there.
If it was completely unexpected to arrive when it did, they should have tried to get you help with it.
thank you! i am going to use your verbiage in a note/ card expressing concern. i think HO may have an idea but idk when the last vet visit was. gentle nudge may be the best option.
thanks and yes - i think i will write HO a note/ card expressing concern. i guess this wasn’t something i was prepared for - especially for my first sit - the emotional distress 
in the past, i had a cat that had hyperthyroidism. we had her on medication and she lived to be 21 - if you can believe it!? i believe proper veterinary care extended & somewhat improved her quality of life. RIP Bebe..