First time HO nerves

Owner Questions, Advice & Chat
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Hi everyone,

We’re newbies at this and have recently signed up to THS to arrange a very first sit for the second half of October. To our surprise and delight we got an application within hours of our listing being published. The sitters are not English speakers, neither do they speak French (we live in France) but written communication via the app has worked well. Our questions were answered rapidly and well, so we had a video call which was “interesting” from a language standpoint but which left us with a good feeling about the couple. We offered them the sit and they accepted. So far, so perfect.

We’ve spent a lot of time on the welcome guide which has now been shared with the sitters, but there are some little niggles starting to bug us… nothing major or specific, but a combination of little things that are making me in particular a little uneasy. I’d welcome opinions and guidance on THS etiquette please.

The sitters profile says they have seven years experience, and in messaging they said that they only use THS. Yet they have no reviews, and 3 references all entered in June. Does that seem consistent?

Even though we said in our listing that a car was essential, they don’t have one. We understand the reason for that and have agreed to make our car available, as while we are in a village, a vehicle really is essential to access shops, let alone take an animal to the vets in the unlikely event that might be necessary. We’ve asked for a copy of the driving licence for insurance purposes and in case of speeding tickets or other road traffic offences. Is that reasonable?

The sitters claim to not be able to find our welcome guide, which we have shared via the app. If they are as experienced as they claim, should they not know how to access the guide?

We own horses, but have not included them in our listing or sitter responsibilities because a) they are not on-site at our home, and b) we have other people already lined up to care for them. In our video call it came out that they liked horses and that we owned some. Since then they have asked repeatedly to care for the horses and to ride them during their sit. We’re really uncomfortable with this, as the scope for injury, to rider and horse, is just too great. We’ve stated clearly that riding the horses is out of the question, but they keep mentioning them. I don’t know whether this is just crossed wires or a language barrier thing, but it’s making me very uneasy.

Anyway, long story short, we’re still in conversation with our sitters and hope to be able to assuage our nerves. What is the etiquette should things not be resolved to our satisfaction? Can we withdraw the sit invitation if we feel the match is not good after all? Can we then invite other sitters who applied after we’d already had our video call with the first?

Thank you for your kind advice, both as home owners and sitters!

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Hi Oliver,

I am a sitter, the car thing concerns me, when we apply for a sit that requires a car, we hire one. We sit in the UK and being added to a HO insurance is apparently very expensive, and you are right to consider accidents, fines etc. Could be a future problem.

The insistence about the horses could be a language thing, or maybe like the car they are trying to get something you didn’t offer.

Everyone here says trust your gut and it seems like it’s warning you. I would at the very least be firm about the horses and check out your insurance situation. There is more than one thing bothering you and I would get it sorted or cancel and try again. It has to be a good fit.

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Hi @Oliver

I’m a sitter, and this sounds worrying. The lack of reviews (references could just be from friends) and inability to find your welcome guide seem like relatively minor issues compared to lending your car to someone who you can’t even communicate easily with, let alone considering allowing them to ride your horses. You’re clearly uncomfortable with several aspects of Plan A – for good reason – so perhaps it’s time to consider a Plan B? You’re under no obligation whatsoever to use sitters unless you are completely comfortable that they are the right match for your sit.

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Trust your gut feelings, I wish I had with recent sitters that caused some worries. I definitely won’t hesitate in future to cancel and move forward with another sitter.

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You sound so kind and friendly, and we all want your first sit experience to be excellent. I do think it is concerning that they claim to have seven years of experience yet so few reviews.

It was completely reasonable to ask for a copy of their license, and you should probably check with your insurance about whether they need to be added to your policy. For me this part was the biggest red flag - you said they needed a car, they didn’t plan to organize a car.

If this were me, I’d err on the side of caution, let them down gently and explain that you were new to THS and have now changed your mind about this sit, and cancel. When you cancel, the welcome guide will no longer be accessible to them so they will no longer have your address. You might want to let member services know as well - it is not common to cancel, but in this case it seems warranted. It might be true that this was just language and cultural barriers. But are you willing to risk your home, car and pets if it is more than that?

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Sitter claims of years of experience seems to be whatever sitters want to claim (usually representing how long they’ve taken care of animals since they were born) and hardly ever corresponds to how long they’ve been on THS. So a claim of 7 years experience would mean much less to me than their lack of reviews and their references being from June. That tells me they are new to the platform, have not completed any sits and that combination would make me wary. Be aware that sitter references may have been written by the sitters themselves.

Of course, if you’re letting them use your vehicle, getting a copy of their current driving license is not only reasonable but quite necessary. Should something happen with the use of your car that causes the authorities to get involved, knowing just their listing names (which may not even be their real names) could cause you some serious problems. So yes, get copies of their drivers licenses, both of them. Do be aware that THS will NOT give you their account names and living address without a court order.

As long as your horses are not available to them, I’d chalk up their ongoing queries as a language barrier hiccup and ignore it.

Speaking just for myself, I would withdraw acceptance of their sit without a 2nd thought IF they are not already on the hook for air fare or other transportation expenses incurred for your specific sit. As a courtesy, I would send them a note saying that the language barriers are higher than you expected (communication is probably the #1 most important compatibility to established between sitter and host) and no longer believe this sit is a good fit. If they’ve incurred travel expenses, canceling them would be trickier.

If you cancel these sitters, I’d recommend more patience in finding another sitter. We always want at least a few good applications to review before advancing to a video chat. If we get a great application (personalized application from a sitter with months to years of at least 6 glowing reviews clearly demonstrating that our sit looks like a great match), we might settle on needing just the 1 application. Probably not but possibly.

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ASAP ask them to confirm that they understand that they will not be caring for the horses or riding the horses.

There should be no confusion about this being a misunderstanding.

If they continue to ask you can unconfirm them. Save all correspondences.

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Have you looked at the sitter’s calendar? It will show if the sitter has any upcoming sits, or if they are currently on one. When that one is finished, a review might be written within 2 weeks after the sit is over.

Keep in mind that missing reviews for sitters do not show up as missing reviews. There is no way for you to know if they have done sits if there is no review.

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Trust your gut.

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I can understand your nervousness @Oliver and I think it is justified as I, too, would be concerned.

  • With only 3 external references, they are definitely new to THS so they have lied to you re their THS experience.

  • This is supported by them not knowing how to access the Welcome Guide. With them being non - English and non- French speakers, will they be able to understand what is in the Welcome Guide?

  • Use of a car requires very careful consideration. You may find your insurance company will not agree or it could be expensive. Sitters are responsible for getting to/from their sit though owners can offer to pick them up from bus/train station etc. Your emergency contact could perhaps help if a visit to the vet was needed. If it was me, I would not be including my car for their use.

  • Horses were not part of the listing that was agreed to by both of you so it’s a No to them. You already have people you trust and are experienced in looking after them.

  • I would be cancelling these sitters as they have not been honest with you. It is your home, your pets and your car. You are clearly having concerns about them now. Just how relaxed do you think you’ll be on holiday if they sit for you?

    I know as a new owner it’s easy to get excited about getting an application and jumping in, in case you don’t get any more. Be patient next time and look for sitters with THS reviews.

    If you cancel these sitters, make sure you remove your dates then re-list them. This will make your listing New again. You can approach other applicants who also applied (but do read through their application, profile and reviews carefully) but they could well have accepted another sit by now.

    We always say go with your gut and hopefully you will too.

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As everyone else has said, trust your gut. There are too many red flags here, you’re already uneasy so how will you feel when you go away. You need to be confident in your sitters so I would cancel these ones and re list.

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@Oliver, as experienced housesitters - including many in Schengen area - then we encourage you to schedule a further video call. Be prepared. Ask any questions to alleviate concerns. Then re-assess the fit of housesitter for your needs. For example:

  • ask them to explain zero THS reviews after seven years of housesitting
  • confirm that housesitters are expressly forbidden from [tasks] related to horses

In initial communication and in Welcome Guide, we encourage that you use simple, clear, complete language and you ensure that housesitter understands concepts that you consider to be important.

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@Cathie, many of our housesits have included use of pet parent vehicle. UK car insurance policies covers named driver(s). US, Canada, Schengen (perhaps much of rest of world) has car insurance policies that cover the vehicle. In every housesit - other than UK - where we have had use of Pet Parent vehicle then we understand that the incremental insurance cost was zero. Most Pet Parents with available vehicle have reviewed our driving experience (lots) and claims history (none) before offering use of vehicle. We suspect that any requirement by a UK Pet Parent that housesitter bring their own car effectively limits listing to UK resident housesitters - as renting a UK vehicle as a non-UK resident is often exceptionally expensive - many times the cost of an equivalent vehicle rental in Schengen area.

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I don’t want to ruin someone’s good time, but given that they don’t speak French or even English, don’t have previous reviews, and don’t have a car and will need to borrow yours, and that you don’t have previous experience on the site, this sounds above my risk/comfort level as a host (who also sits.)

I would slow down on this one and wait for more applicants. If they are the only applicants, I’d think long and hard about the car loan. Remember sitters don’t work for THS. This is a private arrangement being made between individuals. Your sitters are are identity verified - whatever that means – through THS but if something goes wrong, THS doesn’t have resources to help you.

Regarding the process. Normally here’s how:

  • Host posts dates
  • Up to five sitters at a time apply to dates
  • Host can decline any sitters who don’t seem suitable immediately.
  • Host can ask questions via the THS mail if you have questions to sitters who sound good.
  • Host can set up video chats on Facetime, WhatsApp, etc with sitters you are interested in having sit for you who seem to have the experience you need. This requires using an outside app and exchanging some information.
  • Once you are ready to choose a sitter, you can offer the sitter the sit. If they accept the sit, then you confirm and you have a sitter.

If this process is completed already by you by accident because you didn’t understand it, I’d recommend slowing things down and “unconfirming” the sit. You can send them a message letting them know you didn’t understand the process and want to chat with them first. You don’t have to confirm someone because you had a chat.

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I’d like to do that but haven’t a clue how to do so in the US.

I will add that in the US, car insurance has an “excess use” clause for unnamed drivers being covered by a vehicle policy. Basically, it means that your friend/housesitter/relative can drive your vehicle and be covered if their use of that vehicle does not exceed the excess use threshold. That threshold varies by state and insurer. I know in California that the threshold is 12 days. More than that and the insurer can deny a claim.

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Just a clarification on the years of experience number when completing the THS profile. This is what is asked:

“How many years experience do you have looking after pets? This time period can include looking after your own pets in the past.”

So when completing the profile, the experience question where one enters a number of years is about years of experience with pets, not experience pet sitting. Many probably write about their pet sitting experience in the experience section, but the actual number of years you see could be their experience with pets generally or their experience with pet sitting depending on how one decides to answer the question.

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If your profile says, must have a vehicle and they don’t but applied anyways thinking they would manipulate you in letting them use yours, I would decline them. Next they are constantly asking you to ride the horses and don’t care one bit that you said you are not comfortable with that. Since you said yes to the car they are now trying to see what else they can get from you. When you return all your food will be gone and they will say, this is our first time and we thought that delicious expensive meat in the freezer was included. Make your first experience a good one. I would not have peace of mind turning over my house and beloved pets to them.

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I’m a sitter, if I asked you if I can ride your horse’s and you told me No. Then No it is. Asking you several times is not a language barrier. Asking 2 or 3 times is a person who is trying to get you to change your mind. Thats not the kind of sitter you want. Good luck with your sitters. I think you are doing the right thing by asking in the forum for advice. This is where you will find the best advise on how to handle tough situations.

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Thank you everyone for your kind advice, it is very gratefully received.

Yes in France the car insurance covers the vehicle, but our policy has a hefty excess for drivers who are not named on the policy (1500€ on top of the standard excess). The cost of adding named drivers for the duration of a sit is low, and we’re happy to absorb it for the right sitters. The other aspect is road traffic offences. As registered owners we would receive penalty fines in the event of speed camera offenses, and on order to avoid taking the hit ourselves we would need to be able to provide the driving licence of the person to whom we had lent the vehicle at the the time of the offence.

I have reached out to the sitters via the app chat to ask for clarification about the drivers license, the no horse riding, and why they have no reviews. I have expressed our desire to move forward, and our nerves as first timers, and hope to lay out fears to rest.

The sitters availability calendar is consistent with what they’ve told us about stays they have lined up, so I have to assume that these have been arranged through THS.

As I’ve tried to make clear, I’ve no reason to doubt them, just have some niggling doubts which are no doubt first time nerves.

I do very much appreciate all the feedback, thank you all! I especially thought the advice about cancelling the dates then adding them again to be useful. We have 23 sitters having saved our listing so these would presumably all be notified should we publish new dates.

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Oliver, your home your rules, your feelings. If you’re feeling uncomfortable that won’t change with time. Cancel the sitters, your dates will become open and more sitters will apply. It’s all a learning process but I can tell you now, we’ve more than 150 sits under our belts, plenty of them with, understandably nervous first time home owners, and the last thing anyone wants is a bad first experience.

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