What is THS policy on verbal abuse? Will they ban the sitter?
I confirmed a sit with sitter. After our initial call I texted her and asked her to contact me at her convenience because I wanted to try to get her short-term type rental insurance at my expense and needed info to do this. I also wanted to schedule to have my house cleaner clean the house for her, at my expense, and wanted to know which day she wanted the cleaner to come.
She didn’t respond for a day and a half, so I called and sent an msg through THS site. She finally answered and said it was ok for me to call her. I called and she was extremely annoyed and explained to me that she didn’t see a need to respond to me and that she was “setting boundaries,” she continued to say that she is available to speak to a host during a sit but is not her responsibility (or something to that effect) to talk to the host before the sit, that’s her time.
I sincerely said: I respect your communication conditions. However, that doesn’t work for me and that I was going to cancel the sit. I started to explain why and she hung up on me. She then sent me a derogatory text followed by a msg on the THS site of a similar nature.
(Post edited by the Forum Team to comply with theTerms of Service).
I’m always saying communication is the key to a successful sit. You (in my opinion) were doing everything correctly. Trying to make the sit a success and asking her opinion on things that would definitely impact her stay. Thank you for trying. Sitters love home owners like you, going beyond the norm to make us feel good.
The sitter, however, seemed to resent this care you were trying to provide. Maybe you caught them at the wrong time, trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, but nothing excuses the bad manners she displayed. It’s a definite huge blood red flag. Cancel immediately, tell the support team what happened without emotion or embellishments and ask for them to be reviewed.
Good luck. I hope you find the sitter of your dreams.
You sound like a considerate and thoughtful host. If I were in your position, I’d focus on the practical steps needed to get your listing live again and finding a better match. A member dispute will likely just worsen the harm already being done, even when you’re the one who’s been wronged.
If her messages escalate into harassment, it’s best to simply report it - in writing - to the support team first. If they fail to act, you’ll have a documented basis to pursue correction of any written abuse through third-party platforms, such as Google.
One of the challenges for homeowners on THS is that we’ve encountered applicants that were clearly not stable. Be thankful you became aware of this sitter’s “stability” before the sit began.
As others have said, count your blessings she showed you her true colors before the sit, and I hope you find a great sitter who appreciates the extra mile you want to go for them.
You can file a dispute if you haven’t done so already, I doubt they would kick her off the platform, but they might give her a warning.
Just as a side note, not related to this particular sitter, when communicating prior to the sit you might want to give a little more leeway. It sounds like you were upset that she didn’t respond to your text within about 36 hours so you called her and also sent a message through THS. A sitter could be on another sit, they could be working, be on vacation off grid somewhere, could be sick, could be taking care of a sick family member or pet, etc. There are so many reasons why someone might not respond right away. On an active sit, of course it would be reasonable to expect a quick response, but when it’s not an active sit, you don’t know what the sitter is doing so you might want to allow extra time for a response.
Another thing about your applicant’s reaction is that I’ve learned in this forum that plenty of sitters are unwilling to fully identify themselves to HOs. They maybe don’t want to say who they are for the insurance purposes.
Holy jumpin. There’s all kinds of communication that needs to happen prior to a sit – details, travel plans, etc. Did this person have prior reviews?? Sounds a bit psychotic – glad you got out of it. I definitely agree with raising a member dispute – why in the world wouldn’t TH ban her??
OnTheRoadAgain said: “I’ve learned in this forum that plenty of sitters are unwilling to fully identify themselves to HOs.”
This brings up an interesting question I’ve pondered. I go by my gut and THS “background” checks, and - mostly - reviews, but I’ve often felt a little bit weird leaving my precious home and pets in the hands of strangers for whom I often don’t even know their last names! I have on occasion just asked - but it’s awkward. My protective self says we should be asking them to fill out something like a rental application! (this, I KNOW is way out of the THS “vibe”), what is the right balance re: information we can/should have about someone who stays in our home?
I am an HO firmly against sitters filling something out ‘like a rental application’ - but also, any sitter who was twitchy about giving me their full name? Nope.
(I think I’ve always known my sitters’ full names and I’ve never had to ask)
Well, I would sit for you in a heartbeat, & feel lucky to get the gig. (In fact, if you linked your listing to your profile, I’d love to favorite it for future!)
So glad you were able to catch those red flags & dodge that bullet early, before your sit started!
Indeed. I’m sorry, but there is no way in heck someone is living in my house, having a set of keys, & taking care of my pets without me knowing their full name & phone number — & that seems the bare minimum. I always provide this to my hosts, and usually also emergency contact info for my spouse, in case something happens on the trip.
In addition, I always obtain & forward name, phone, & the address of my hosts to my spouse, in case of emergency.
Frankly, I’ve been rather puzzled that HOs aren’t subject to the same background checks as sitters, at least in the US — even as minimal as those are.
Many people’s email addresses reveal their name. I suggest you share your phone number and email address, and ask the sitter to do the same.
Communication is easier off the THS website.
If you still do not have their name once you have their email address, I guess you could ask them for their legal name(s). I would not have any problem providing that, but others might feel that is an invasion of their privacy. Everyone is different, but I completely understand wanting names.
When I did my first sit, the HO asked my last name when I got there. It had never occurred to me that they didn’t have it. I wouldn’t assume that sitters aren’t willing to provide it. Since realizing that it isn’t provided to HOs, I typically send my full name, email address, and phone number once a sit is confirmed. HOs don’t always provide their last name either, I have done a few sits where I didn’t know the HOs last name. They don’t always put it in the welcome guide.
@belluca … yes, exactly, it’s against the “feel” of THS but do you just ask them when you chat? Would the appropriate thing to ask for the full contact info (name, address, email, phone) before sharing the Welcome Guide?
Of the 12 or so sitters I’ve had, their last names surfaced organically maybe 3 or 4 times, I think I’ve asked twice…. so half the time all I have is a first name and a phone number!
I’ve never had to ask - either the email has their full name, or it shows up when I do the call on WhatsApp. I always get the phone number for WhatsApp during my travels, as it’s almost always international. In any case, it’s never been an issue, and I always get the information before I make send an offer - if anyone was reluctant to provide it, I simply would not choose that sitter.
I don’t ask for, nor would I ever, a sitters address.
Seems like something you should’ve discussed at the video chat stage — the cleaner and the rental insurance. Did you raise them then, or did you bring it up only later? Also seems overboard to have THS contact the sitter after only 36 hours.
Whatever the exact circumstances, seems like you weren’t a good match and you’re better off just moving on. Not that the sitter should’ve been rude. If I wanted to set boundaries, I’d still be civilized about it, even if I no longer wanted to sit for someone.
As for full names, you might want to try to match with sitters who do that as a matter of course. For example, I share my LinkedIn profile when applying, which includes way more than my full name. Plus, when coordinating video chats, I also use my email address, which has my full name. To me, I’m not clear why a sitter would be secretive about their identity.
Hmmmm, so a host opens up their home to a sitter. The sitter lives in someone else’s private home (who is a total stranger), sleeps in someone else’s private bed, and eats on someone else’s private plates. Yet, it’s the host who would be invading the sitter’s privacy by so much as asking for their name and email address. Seriously?
