HO clueless about THS policy

[kirstyS]

Hello! I know there are many similar posts to this, but I’m wondering what I should do in my particular circumstances. I’m sorry it’s so long!

I’ve only been on the platform for a few months and am on my fourth sit (it’s 8 weeks in Europe). Communication from the HO has been extremely poor and although we’re only on day three, and put the HO on her plane yesterday, it’s crystal clear that she has not bothered to read any of her obligations to the sitters, but expects us to jump through a bunch of (unexpected) hoops. We are both really conscientious about our obligations, so have been a bit shocked by our experience so far.

The issues with which I have the biggest problems are:

She informed us upon our arrival here that she will be arriving back two days before we leave. Having spent a day and night with her before her departure, I am extremely uncomfortable with having to spend any more time with her.

She insisted that we fly in to a specific airport so she could pick us up, despite an equidistant airport having much cheaper and better-timed flights, and then made us fill her tank. We had originally planned to take the bus to hers, which would have been cheaper

Since confirming the sit months ago, she has fostered a third pet, requiring special care and medication, which pet is still not on her profile. I don’t really mind, but I feel taken advantage of.

She has been extremely proscriptive about a cleaning schedule, but the house is absolutely filthy. I am deep cleaning in sections as I go, but it’s really icky.

She has a camera covering the whole outdoor space (pergola, pool, driveway, courtyard), which was never mentioned until she asked my help on how to charge it when we arrived. She monitors our movements and called to berate us last night for going out to dinner and leaving the pets alone (there was never at any stage the slightest mention that they should not be left alone). She told me last night that she would not have access to the camera from today, but called today to tell me it will be staying on, and we heard her voice coming through it an hour later!

She assigned us a guest room with an en-suite, but over the 26 hours period that we shared the home, treated it like her own bedroom, walking in and out with no warning, and using the shower despite having her own shower on the other side of the house. So weird!

Within the first few minutes of our first video chat, she had offered me use of her car, which is wonderful, and after our next video call, told me she had put us both on her car insurance for the period, which was great. When we arrived, though, she handed us a ‘form’ to sign (she had typed up and printed a short statement), saying in the event of any damage to her car, we’d be paying for it. This doesn’t seem entirely unreasonable to me, but I’m wondering about its legality. And whether we’re actually on the insurance!

These are just the biggest issues. I’m waiting to get an email from THS support so I can go through it all with them, but would love some feedback from people who may have experienced similar circumstances?

Thank you!

[Jenny]

Hi @kirstyS

I am so sorry to hear about this. You’ve detailed a number of things here which shouldn’t be happening.

I was able to find your support ticket, so I’ve passed it to the team, and I’ve given some bullet points about the experience you’re having.

Hopefully someone will be in touch soon, but in the meantime, I hope that our members can give you some support.

Jenny

[Cuttlefish]

Changing all these things is not reasonable and you need to push back, especially as it’s so early on in a long sit. If you don’t stand your ground then it will get worse not better and this is supposed to be a mutual exchange. The addition of the third unagreed pet is a good enough reason to give 24 hours notice and cancel as it breaks a T&C. The car thing and the outside camera is a grey area, not sure on the insurance cover or not but would make us nervous and you need proof from her. Can you quit and look for another sit? You sound experienced and fair so that could be the best way forward. You may find she behaves herself more if you say you’re leaving but it’s a long list of boundary crossing so seems unlikely. Coming back early is equally not good behaviour or reasonable. #lookafteryou

[kirstyS]

Thanks so much for your heartening response I should have said: while we were discussing the sit, months ago, HO mentioned she was nursing a third animal post-surgery. Adoption was very tentatively on the cards if said animal got on with the other two, but we were only told on the drive from the airport that said pet was still here and being fostered. So, I’m a fool for not asking (live and learn), but I was assuming that the HO would have mentioned it if there was a third pet to mind, specially if it’s the only pet needing special care.

I don’t really want to cancel the sit. The pets are lovely and it’s not their fault. If the boundary crossing continues, though, we may have to consider it.

At what point does being monitored by camera stop being a gray area?!

[Jenny]

Hi @kirstyS

Here’s our Camera & Recording Devices Policy which confirms that the HO should have let you know in advance, and also via the welcome guide, that there would be outdoor cameras at the property.

While it’s not covered in the policy, I don’t feel that their constant monitoring is appropriate, especially if they didn’t set any expectations e.g. leaving the pets alone, in advance. The ethos of THS is that it’s a mutual exchange - but from what you’ve said it feels like you’re being “managed”.

Hopefully Membership Services can give some more support and advice!

Jenny

[Cuttlefish]

Have sent you some ideas on a DM as we had a similar challenge in Sri Lanka on a 3 month sit #hopeithelps

[kirstyS]

Thank you so much!

[GotYourBack]

@kirstyS, gosh what a challenging situation. Especially on multi-month housesit.
While we’ve mostly met wonderful pet parents then we’ve also come across ‘employer’ pet parents, uncommitted pet parents and other oddities.
Our encouragement is to have the courage to say ‘no’ to unreasonable requests/demands by pet parents. Housesitting is a trade. Not a job. For example, if you wanted to fly to a specific airport and then independently bus to pet parent property then any unreasonable effort by pet parent to mandate changes to your travel plans should be a simple ‘no’ conversation.
Fostering a third pet. Oh boy. On one of our sits, between pet confirmation and housesit start date then a Pet Parent adopted a new puppy. Gulp. Pet Parent did disclose the new pet - at least a month after sit confirmation - we asked a whole lot of questions and ultimately decided to honour the confirmed sit. But no disclosure at all is very different.
External cameras are permitted under THS policies. Hopefully most Pet Parents have better things to do with their lives than constantly monitor camera feeds during their trips. When routine monitoring becomes pestering and micromanaging seems a topic that THS Member Services may be best able to advise. We disconnect all internal cameras from power supply.

Cleaning a filthy house to a schedule! We have had some surprises. Cleanliness standards are more subjective than say presence of a security camera. One tactic that we felt need to use was informing pet parent that we would not use specific (unclean) rooms of a large property and then closing doors … i.e. not going to clean their mess.

Re car, suggest that you ensure that you are insured. We also ask Pet Parents for a note that states we have permission to use the vehicle during dates of housesit (avoid any accusations of theft). To our knowledge, most Schengen countries have car insurance policies that cover the car (UK policies cover the driver). So adding a driver should have zero cost to Pet Parent. But ‘in event of any damage to her car, we’d be paying for it’ seems a big red flag. Unreasonable.

Suggest that you have direct dialogue with THS Member Services (ideally call them); then have similar direct communication with Pet Parent re noted topics. Concurrently self-assess your willingness to complete the housesit. Seems multiple red flags and policy breaches.

[temba]

If you haven’t already, take screenshots of the listing and Welcome Guide now in case HO changes them as what you have arrived at, especially 3rd pet, is not what was agreed @kirstyS. Hopefully you will get support and advice from THS. You do need to assert yourself with her extra demands.

[KC1102]

I am really sorry to hear about all the troubles you are having. It is disheartening no matter what, but when it is a longer-term sits and all these problems come to light right away, it just makes it all feel worse.

I have never experienced anything like this so I can’t say for certain what I would do. We have only left a sit early once 10 years ago–won’t go into all the details but the host really misrepresented a lot of things and we stuck it out for 6 of the 9 weeks. Many people would have probably left right away.

I have never had a sit where we were having any sort of problems with the host as far as not getting along, giving us a hard time about anything, being unreasonable,etc…

As for the cameras, outdoor cameras are allowed. Unfortunately it is easy to keep tabs on sitters with them by being able to see when they leave the house, for how long,etc…

Using them in this manner is not appropriate and I would imagine that alone would be reasonable grounds to leave as it speaks to the primary reason indoor cameras are not allowed–the sitter has a right to privacy and not being monitored.

As for the third animal, you are correct in that it was a good lesson learned. You were aware she had it but didn’t follow up on whether she was actually keeping it. Of course she should have mentioned it though.

I know that this can be an extremely uncomfortable situation and sitters often have a difficult time broaching certain subjects, saying how they really feel,etc… People have varying levels of comfort with ‘conflict.’

There is fear of getting a negative review which is understandable. Staying in someone’s home, especially longer-term when you may not be getting on well certainly isn’t ideal.

For anything that is bothering you or not working for you, you can bring up all these things and see if you can come to some sort of resolution.

If there are things you don’t feel comfortable bringing up or pushing back on, that is fine. But just own the choice that you are choosing not to address the issues and that you will stay–at least for now–whether because you think it is the ‘right’ thing to do, you worry about it causing problems with your membership, you don’t have the money to pay for accommodation if you can’t find another sit or whatever else.

Ultimately, no one can make you stay, but unless you get THS’ ‘blessing’ to leave the sit, doing so could put your membership in jeopardy if the host raises a dispute against you. So it is good you have reached out to them to document your ‘side’ of things. I know this can seem unfair and it is not ideal but it is just a reality that sitters have to contend with.

If you decide to leave the sit this early on, I would imagine it would be cancelled totally rather than the end date simply being adjusted, and you wouldn’t have to worry about getting a negative review, but I am not sure how that all works exactly.

Good luck!

[kirstyS]

It’s funny, but in addition to all the other stuff, she didn’t do a welcome guide She’s an old fashioned kinda gal and does everything by phone, so there’s not much of a paper trail, though I have taken pictures of the dirt in case she says I did it

[kirstyS]

Oh that’s interesting about the insurance in the Schengen zone. You are clearly very experienced in housesitting, and may have had some practice in saying no, but I’m a big ole sap and haven’t much practice, specially in the face of extreme bossiness! Thanks for all of that. I’m looking forward to chats with member services.

[kirstyS]

And thanks so much for such a comprehensive post

[ChristineB]

If you’ve got weeks more of this I would give the HO reasonable notice to make alternative arrangements and get out of there. Chalk it up to experience & Learn as many lessons from this as you can for future sits.

[Garfield]

So sorry you had to experience this, @kirstyS

IMO the best would probably be to end the sit, as I’m afraid the host might continue this or even get more frantic.

Should you choose to go on- for days or the whole sit - I think it is important to show her that you are equal partners, you are not free labor.

This is just some ideas, maybe something here you could use in a message to host:

«
I need to adress a few things now that we’ve settled in, especially since we’re still so early in the sit and I think it’s important we clarify expectations going forward.

We’re committed to taking great care of the pets and property while you’re away (or; until we leave), but there have been some unexpected aspects of the arrangement that we need to discuss as fellow members of THS.

To name a few concerns:

• We were surprised by your travel overlap at the end of the sit. This wasn’t mentioned beforehand, and we hadn’t anticipated sharing the home again.

• The airport situation added cost and complexity, especially given our original plan to take public transport.

• Caring for a third pet, which requires medication and isn’t on your THS profile.

• The house’s condition is not consistent with the cleaning expectations that were laid out, and we’ve had to do considerable work to make things livable. The THS terms say the home is to be returned as it was left to us, which we of course intend to do.

• The outdoor cameras were never mentioned prior to arrival, and we’re uncomfortable with live monitoring and being contacted about our movements. We understood these were being turned off, yet we’ve continued to hear your voice through the device. The use of them is not consistent with the THS camera policy, which we link to :here:

• And regarding the car, we’d like to clarify whether we are officially covered under your insurance, as the form we signed seems to contradict your earlier statements.

We want this to be a positive experience for everyone involved—especially the pets—but right now there are too many elements that feel misaligned with what was initially presented.

I’ve reached out to THS for guidance, but I wanted to give you an opportunity to respond directly.

Looking forward to hearing from you.»

Going forward I would document also oral communication. If phone calls, send a message to her to confirm what you said/ agree on.

[Maggie8K]

Red flags abound. This sit isn’t likely to turn out well.

Get out and use your backup plan. And apply for other sits.

[kirstyS]

That’s quite an amazing response, thank you. Smaller issues I didn’t mention in my original post were that she wants me to figure out how to use her knife sharpener and sharpen all the knives Also to magically vacuum the house regularly with a vacuum that doesn’t work properly. Also to clean out the shed (half) jokingly - ‘to give me something to do’, and to put up her kitchen decor

As she’s an older lady, I was actually willing to do a few of these for her, until she called to shout at me for going out to dinner! Now I’m actually considering some posts advising to get out now

[kirstyS]

Crikey, I didn’t even think it was that bad, considering some of the stories I’ve read here! Am considering it now, though.

[Maggie8K]

Many of the sits gone wrong described in posts and comments are outlier cases, so I wouldn’t use them as a benchmark for comparison.

Most sits go well and aren’t written about. Otherwise, hosts and sitters wouldn’t renew and keep going.

For example, I’ve done 24 sits over two+ years and all of my hosts have been kind, welcoming and appreciative.

I’m now on my 25th and the hosts are nice and easygoing. The cats are sweet and easy. Their home is near loads of amenities and it’s clean and easy to take care of. They shared a robust welcome guide and have cleaning supplies in abundance, easy to access.

My 26th sit is lined up and those hosts have been communicative and welcoming. Welcome guide was done well. And they asked whether there’s any food I’d enjoy. Looks like another easy cat sit, with a beautiful home near tons of amenities.

To me, why sit at all if the hosts aren’t great.

[kirstyS]

You’re dead right (and lucky!), and I suppose the answer to your last question is that this was the first sit I confirmed (and one of the first I applied for), so I was really rushing in without knowing the right questions to ask, or the right answers to those questions!