Let the HO know that outdoor cameras are for their monitoring their home, not you as the sitter. If they continue to demonstrate that they’re critically monitoring you, put a towel over the camera or remove the battery. End of problem.
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Yes, removing the battery is what we will do if she demonstrates again that she is monitoring us. When I called her out on watching us, she said the only reason the camera is there is because the police get called to hers so often because of complaints of barking! That behaviour wasn’t mentioned prior to the sit either, though I have to say, the pooches don’t seem to be very barky, so that’s a great relief.
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Understanding that you would like to stay and make things work, it might be a good idea, if you haven’t already, to explore what other sit options may be available in the area.
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Well, that’s not good there’s very little in writing from her @kirstyS as the Welcome Guide (or similar document) forms part of the Code of Conduct she has agreed to on joining as does agreeing all responsibilities with the sitter before a sit is confirmed. Interesting she can manage a “written contract” re her car but not provide the necessary information on her home and pets for you! Has she provided the vet details and set up payment in case of an emergency?
As to the other requests she is making, you just need to say ‘No’! She needs to understand that these were not included in what you originally agreed to when sit was confirmed. If you keep agreeing to these ‘extras’, when she has another sitter, she will expect them to do the same and should they say ‘No’, she’s likely to say, “Oh but my last sitters were happy to do that!”
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It would take a lot for us to leave a sit but this would meet the requirements. It seems that this won’t end well and I truly hope you can extricate yourself from the situation with THSs help.
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I realize you are out airfare and kind of stranded, but just leave. This is insanity.
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I ditto this sentiment. Things aren’t going to improve and you’re going to end up with a bad review from a terrible host, which will affect your future sit prospects (if I understood right, you are new to THS?). You’ll also be stuck trying to figure out how to review her honestly and fairly, which will stress you out. Find another sit and GTFO asap, for your sanity and wellbeing! Not a nice start to your THS adventure 
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@kirstyS 8 weeks of this terrible sit is going to have a significant negative impact on your mental health. Give the owner 24 hours notice that you are leaving and she needs to find alternate care for the pets. There are some great words you can use from @Garfield in your message.
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Sorry if I missed this somewhere in the thread but did she have any other reviews?? Since you’ve mentioned you’re relatively new, you may have better experiences by only picking sits with some prior good reviews for a while. Everyone has to start somewhere, and I’ve had some terrific sits with first-timers as I’m sure many others have, but, it might help your confidence in the platform to stick with some “proven” HOs for a bit.
An “older lady” who expects you to do some chores and maintenance as well… sounds like one more person joining THS and not really understanding how it works, or what is, and isn’t, included in the “service”.
I hope you get some good guidance from THS support and that you can move on and enjoy better sits.
(Eight weeks in a “filthy” house is enough already, let alone all the other things you’re dealing with!!)
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No she didn’t have reviews. I was so careful with my other sits to read every review, but she didn’t have any. Live and learn.
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You can choose to stay , it’s a decision only you can make .
Please consider that if the host has unreasonable expectations now , they are likely to leave you a negative review when the sit ends stating you didn’t clean the house to their standard, you abandoned the pets ( when you went to dinner) , you didn’t clear out their shed etc etc - and even if it’s an unfair review or unreasonable review you won’t be able to have this review removed. Is another 8 weeks unpaid sit for this host worth it ? Only you can decide .
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That’s a very good point.
@kirstyS just to throw a spanner in the wheel: I understand that you might want to stay, even though everyone says you should leave. Perhaps the only way this could work is if you stand up to her very, very directly. For you it may well feel rude (because you seem nice), but to her it will be on her same level and she won’t find it rude, just direct. Only then are you on equal footing re communication.
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You are absolutely right, it would feel rude to me but not to her 
The only problem I have is that even if I tell her all the issues, nothing will change. I’ll still have to continue deep cleaning the house (for my own comfort), being furtively monitored through the camera, and looking after the (very sweet) extra pet and looking after her extra needs.
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I know cleanliness is subjective, and I’m not at all a clean freak, but there are some standards that everyone will agree on are not good enough. Puddles of veggie goop in the bottom of the fridge. An air fryer that’s never been cleaned. Matted hair and goo on the bath edge etc etc. Vacuuming her smallish house took 45 minutes and it had to be emptied more than 10 times.
She now wants me to video myself trying to get pet #3 in her car because she doesn’t believe I’m doing it right. Is this reasonable? It just seems like everything she does is unreasonable now
We once (only once) had this level of dirtiness - and somewhat difficult pets - it was 6 weeks and it was terrible, the whole energy felt off. At the end of the sit, we shivered, we felt like escapees. Never again. That owner wasn’t mean, just distracted.
In your case - yikes, all the other factors plus a mean owner plus extra pet care -not sure I could handle that without setting serious boundaries quickly. Eg telling her: here’s the video of third pet going into the car. Once you’re satisfied we’re doing it correctly, this then settles the matter, okay?
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Or tell her: if you’re unsure or unhappy about our pet care, please send a replacement within 24 hours and we’ll be out of here.
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Someone like this will keep making more unreasonable demands and treat you like crap.
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She already treats us like crap
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