When a Sit Becomes… Everything But Just Pet Sitting – Advice & Local Sit Recommendations Welcome

Owner Questions, Advice & Chat
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Dear members of THS,
I’ve been sitting through TrustedHousesitters for a year now and have had some truly heartwarming experiences—snuggly cats, quirky dogs, and wonderful pet parents with whom I’m still friends. I genuinely love the platform and the sense of trust and community it’s built.

But I’m currently navigating a very difficult situation that I wanted to share—both as a cautionary tale and to ask for advice and any local sit leads.

The Sit That Grew (and Grew… and Grew)

I signed on for a long sit in BC, Canada, excited to spend time with the animals and explore a new city. The listing seemed straightforward—just pet and home care. Our Zoom call was also focused on caring for a cohort of indoor/outdoor pets.

The pet parent was eager for me to confirm the sit months ago but declined a virtual tour. At the time, I didn’t think too much of it. She urged me repeatedly to book my flight early, and I took it as a sign of commitment. I reassured her and let her know I’d booked my flight three months before the sit began.

Then as the sit got closer, the tasks started growing…

“Please confirm you’d help with XX.”
“I hope I mentioned it’s very important that you do XX.”

Shortly before the sit began, I was sent a new welcome guide listing extra tasks I hadn’t agreed to—followed by even more additional asks once the sit had already started:

  • Watering a large, complex garden daily by hand (which takes over an hour for that task alone)
  • Weeding and yard work
  • Managing Airbnb guest check-ins and support
  • Taking out guests’ dirty laundry and troubleshooting a broken washing machine
  • Responding to late-night texts and checking if Airbnb doors are locked
  • Handling unannounced visitors and contractors
  • Being on-call at all hours for various household issues

Most concerningly, people kept showing up unannounced—including strangers on the property—and my personal phone number was given to Airbnb guests and the pet parent’s friends and family without my knowledge or consent. This created serious safety and privacy concerns.

I’ve tried hard to communicate boundaries respectfully, but the responses became dismissive and increasingly disrespectful. I had hoped we could reach an understanding to allow me to continue supporting the pets—but instead, I received comments like:

“What did you think you were exchanging for free accommodation?”

I certainly didn’t sign up to be Cinderella—living in a basement suite, caring for a three-story house with cobwebs everywhere, while being expected to act as a gardener, maintenance worker, and Airbnb guest liaison 24/7, on top of caring for over five pets.

I’ve since involved THS support, who have been kind, empathetic, and responsive. They’ve asked me to document the situation while they conduct a review.

What I’d Love From This Community:

:compass: Advice – If you’ve ever been in a similar situation, how did you handle it? How do you stand your ground without escalating conflict? In hindsight, did I end up here because I tried to avoid conflict the first time she made an unreasonable request?

:round_pushpin: Sit Recommendations – I’m still in BC and will be wrapping up this sit soon. I had been reassured that it’s well within my right to leave due to the unsafe environment and clear policy violations. I want to make sure that alternative pet care is in place before doing so (though this may not be an issue—I’ve just learned that contractors and cleaners have historically been paid to perform many of the tasks I was asked to do for free).

I’d love to find a short- or medium-term sit in a calmer, more respectful environment where I can focus on pet care (which I genuinely love!). I’ve already paid for my flights and made plans to be here. My visit to BC started off as a nightmare, but I’d hate for it to end that way—wasting my time, money, energy, vacation, and mental health on someone who isn’t really worth all that. I’m tidy, responsible, and take my sitter responsibilities seriously. I can’t apply on the platform directly just yet because my dates are still booked on there.

:handshake: Support – I wanted to share my story as a reminder (especially to newer sitters). If it turns into Cinderella with a rake—don’t be afraid to walk away. I’ve also got stories of Bluebeard & Snow White that I’ll save for another time lol.

Thanks so much for reading. Feel free to DM me (I’ve left out a few details here for privacy) or drop a comment. I’d love to connect with others in the area or hear how you’ve navigated tricky sits with grace.

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Welcome to forum, @Kiwi !

As I’m sure you already know, this is a really mindblowing violation of terms, in particular using their sitter in their business which is not allowed, it is an exploitation of you as free labour and possibly also violation of tax/ labour laws in Canada and in that case also immigration law/ visa.

It is a good thing you raise the issue, as it could be others in forum or online struggling with similar issues.

Personally I would raise a member dispute after reviews are given (important to use the words member dispute to have it handled properly) so that the host at least get a proper warning or possibly even booted off if they have done this before at least. For me it would be grave enough to kick them off the platform. We don’t need that sh.. , sitters are paying members.

“What did she think we were paying to exchange for - working for her business without pay?

Be sure to leave an honest and factual review so other members are not lured into her net unknowingly. A balanced and factual review is never wrong, and good partners will be able to differenciate between right or wrong. The hosts that can’t do that you don’t want to partner up with, anyway.

Hope everything works out for you and that member service assist you going forward. Let us know what happens if you can/ want to.

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Sorry to read this. I have been in similar situations, although not quite as bad.
I think the most important thing is to get out of there as soon as you can, and it’s great that you are doing that. I stayed until the end at two bad sits where I was exploited, and both hosts have continued on the platform and got good reviews (not from me!!) - a mystery to me.

Member services are generally not very helpful when things go wrong, that is my experience, but I hope it will be different for you, but don’t count on it.
I hope you get another sit soon with good and kind hosts!

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Hi Kiwi!
I’m going through a sit exit right now and I feel your pain. It’s so frustrating when HOs don’t understand the core concept and culture of the platform, which is that it is meant to be an easygoing exchange matching traveler-houseguests with pet and home owners.

High maintenance sit requirements don’t belong on TH. Travelers have their own lives, work and schedule, and are making extreme arrangements to be where HOs need them. It’s because they are travelers that they have an interest in lodging and why the free exchange works for them. HOs are not “hiring” unpaid full time employees, personal assistants, or “replacements” for their full list of roles on the property.

Besides the clear term violations here, this is just a violation of the exchange terms of the platform.

I wish TH made this clearer to HOs—that we also pay for the service, pay to be at your place, that this is all an experiment and risk for us too. If anything goes wrong it’s even harder for us to sort out backup plans, as we are not at home. It’s just a fundamental thing that HOs either consider and understand or fully exploit and I wish TH protected sitters more on this front.

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Run Forest Run!

I would get out of there quickly. Talk to TH as I am not sure but I think 24 hour notice is required. They need to be taken off the platform. This is not even remotely OK. If you can’t afford to stay in a hotel or hostel while you are looking for something else, there is couch surfing. When I was in Canada in 2023 I was on a Canadian platform similar to this one but exclusively for Canadians. You can google the name as I can’t remember the exact name. I used the platform for one sit and had the most lovely couple as PP. Stayed in their mother-in-law suite attached to the house with a full kitchen, bath, living room and fireplace. It was like an attached one bedroom apartment. Dog and cat were not allowed in it per PP instructions. They stocked the refrigerator in the attached apartment with food which was a nice gesture. First went to Canada and arrived at a friend’s house. She posted on Facebook for me that I wanted to travel and looking for a house pet sit. Offers came in quickly and that became another sit I had in Canada. Can you post on Facebook on a close location group. I wish you luck and please take care of your mental well being. This sounds like a nightmare.

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I am sorry to hear you are having a bad experience.

It sounds like you were made aware of many additional unacceptable tasks prior to the sit starting through messages she sent and an updated welcome guide.

If post-confirmation, a host introduces additional responsibilities ,or some other element of the sit changes, and the sitter would not have accepted had these conditions been in place at the time of agreeing to do it, then it is completely reasonable to cancel.

That more responsibilities and problems continued to spring up after you got there and she has been difficult to deal with isn’t surprising in the least.

I don’t know your reasons for deciding to proceed with the sit even with these red flags popping up–I know for most sitters it comes down to finances-- but regardless of what they are, it sounds like this is a good learning opportunity moving forward. Lots of stuff to reflect on here for sure!

Also, that you requested a tour of the house and she refused is a big red flag. I don’t feel the need to see a tour of the home before accepting a sit so I don’t ask for one; if a host doesn’t offer it when we are chatting, I don’t care. But if I did ask and they said no, that would seem very off to me.

I can’t say for sure how I would handle it all as I have never found myself in a situation like that, but you wanting to leave early is understandable and very justified.

Best of luck and I hope you find another sit!

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Sorry that you have encountered this tricky situation. Onward and upward!

I assume you are from New Zealand?

We live in Oregon and are home, enjoying the summer here. I did a quick search and see that there are loads of sit opportunities in BC and also Washington state and Oregon. Are you able to come to the US? I am not sure of visa requirements.

Anyway, you should be able to find other sits. Feel free to DM me if you want any advice about areas. Most of the Pacific NW is amazing, especially in the summer!

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Also, on the re-read, “I certainly didn’t sign up to be Cinderella” is so good! Really nails something down about exploitative HOs :innocent:

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For the sake of the THS community, do an honest, thorough review describing in detail the responsibility creep after accepting the sit. Do not be afraid to honestly withhold stars in the appropriate categories (like minus 2 or 3 for communications); those stars aren’t gold doubloons coming out of reviewer’s pockets. You get one and only one shot at an honest review and it sounds like these HOs weren’t even nice (nice being the usual reason sitters don’t subtract stars or provide uncomfortable details).

Be prepared to respond to the review you receive with the counter facts. They will not have seen your review of them but anticipate that entitled HOs like these aren’t likely to be generous in their review of you. Again, you’ll get one shot only at this.

Huge red flag. Either they had a very good reason they gave you for declining or they’re selling you a pig in a poke. Seems it turned out to be the latter.

I’m wondering why you did not just say no to the first attempt to expand the responsibilities in the revised Welcome Guide? That first no could have sorted everything out long before the sit began. Was it that you already had your travel booked? I understand that having paid for travel puts you in a challenging position but after the sit began, saying no to new responsibilities was well within your power and your right. So that part I don’t understand.

Good luck with finding another BC situation isn’t exploitive.

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yikes. thank you for the cautionary tale, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this!! :hugs:

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Thank you so much for sharing this. First, I’m really sorry you’re going through such an overwhelming and unfair experience. It’s clear you came into this sit with good intentions, professionalism, and a genuine love for animals — which makes it even more frustrating to be treated this way.

What you’ve described goes far beyond the expectations of a TrustedHousesitters arrangement. Managing Airbnb guests, watering a large garden for over an hour a day, responding to late-night texts, dealing with unannounced visitors, and having your personal phone number given out without your consent? That’s not pet sitting — that’s unpaid labor in multiple roles, and it crosses serious boundaries, especially where your safety and privacy are concerned.

That “what did you think you were exchanging for free accommodation?” comment really hit a nerve. It’s dismissive, disrespectful, and completely misses the point. This platform is built on mutual exchange — care for pets and homes in return for a safe, peaceful place to stay. It’s not a blank check for sitters to be exploited under the excuse of a “free house,” especially when that house turns out to be a high-maintenance property with unreasonable demands.

You absolutely did the right thing involving THS support, and I’m relieved to hear they’ve been kind and responsive so far. I hope they continue to take this seriously, and that they support you in whatever outcome feels right for you moving forward.

Please know you’re not alone, and your experience is a valuable reminder to us all about asking the right questions, setting clear expectations, and not ignoring red flags just because we want the sit to work out. If you need any local leads or support, I hope someone here can help — and if you’re ever near my area on a future sit, I’d love to connect over coffee and swap stories that don’t involve Cinderella-level labor.

Sending strength and solidarity!

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Sorry you’re having a hard time with your current situation. I have not had any of these experiences. During my application process, I ask if they will be able to send me the welcome guide well in advance and I state that I will be checking to see if the responsibilities match what we agreed to. I also remind them of the THS terms and conditions and will expect no 3rd parties unless it’s a cleaner that I have agreed to allow into the house. I also ask if they expect any other responsibilities that is not in the listing. I ask all of the above before confirming the sit so I avoid a lot of potential bad sits. I may run into a situation like you are having at which point I will then give my 24 hr notice to vacate. Please leave an honest review so that future sitters do not apply. I really doubt THS is going to do anything

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Oh my!!! So sorry to hear about all that has occurred. This sounds like an episode of ‘Twilight Zone for Pet Sitters’ as nothing is based on the reality of what we are meant to do as pet sitters :pensive_face:

Hope you get it all sorted out and find another sit nearby if possible.

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Thank you everyone for your support and advice!

Once I’m officially out of here and can enjoy some peace and quiet, I’ll return to respond to individual comments—especially to answer some great questions and clear up a few confusions (like… how did it get this bad?). I may be a bit conflict-avoidant, but rest assured I didn’t just let everything slide. There’s a lot I couldn’t include in the original post, but I’ll do my best to explain how a series of seemingly reasonable decisions led me to this point.

For now, I’m running into one final issue. I sent my formal notice to the pet parent yesterday, informing her I’d be ending the sit and leaving today. But now it seems her listing has been taken down, and I suspect something may be going on with her account. She’s still sending me messages (lots of them), but I’m receiving them with a delay and they read like she hasn’t seen my final message at all. I tried resending the message, but an error popped up, and my original notice also doesn’t appears in the chat history. I don’t think the issue is on my end, as I tested messages with a few other pet parents and they went through without any problems. I also started using the platform messaging system because the pet parent had been sending harassing messages through the other app and was deleting them before I could screenshot them for evidence. This made it difficult to document what was happening. I had already blocked her there and specifically requested that all communication be done through the TrustedHousesitters platform to ensure accountability and transparency.

It’s past midnight here, and I’m scheduled to leave later today—but I honestly don’t know if she actually received the final notice. I’m wondering if I should call THS again in the morning (I’ve already called quite a few times this past 3 days :sweat_smile:), just to be safe. I’m also not sure if her account has been flagged or restricted due to the volume of harassment, or if there’s just a technical issue with the platform’s messaging system.

Would love your thoughts—should I call again just to confirm she’s been notified? Otherwise, I’m unsure whether I should stick to my original leave time.

Thanks again, everyone. Your words have truly helped keep me grounded.

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Call again. They’re there to offer you support. Then you can leave. Good luck.

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THS is there for you, no matter how many times you need to call. You are in the home stretch now, and there’s light at the end of the tunnel. My guess would be that the home owner’s post has been removed, and their membership being reevaluated by THS because of the violations. They clearly don’t want another sitter to go through a similar experience.

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Absolutely this @Kiwi :heart: please reach out to the team, they’ll be happy to support you.

Alternatively, if you can share your member ID or email you signed up to the main THS website with me via DM, I can ask the team to contact you :slight_smile:

Jenny

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Update:
The sit has officially ended. I left the property in good order, the pets were safe and cared for, and I’ve moved to a much calmer environment where I can finally breathe again. Arranging last-minute accommodation and moving out was hectic and expensive—but it was what I had to do for my sanity.

Unfortunately, even until the very end, the pet parent continued to send harassing, accusatory, and demeaning messages through the platform—even though THS Support team had told me she shouldn’t be able to contact me. (Please, someone at THS—fix this glitch. It’s retraumatizing just opening the app.)

Despite my final notice and in-person handover, she refused to confirm she had received it or that she had arranged alternative care. Instead, she continued to demand I follow all her instructions—while simultaneously threatening to call the police, insisting I contact the “platform mediator” to “consent to ending the sit early” so THS can send her a replacement. She wrote that they will proceed to find her a new sitter and that I shouldn’t leave until THS sends my replacement.

To top it off, heavy deliveries arrived before I left. Out of courtesy, I moved them indoors and stacked them neatly along the stairs to her private third-floor unit (which guests don’t need access to). She asked the cleaner to take a photo of my “work” and then messaged me that the boxes were supposed to be collapsed and put in recycling and the pet supplies taken upstairs or at least onto the counter shelf outside my door. She told me the porch and hall need to be kept clear. And what is wrong with me?
I wasn’t going to make 9 separate trips carrying 25 lbs of cat litter along with other heavy items circling the entire large garden front to back, while taking 3 flights of slippery and hollow outdoor stairs in the dark at 11pm, not after everything I had already done, and not after days of constant verbal abuse. I had already done more than what was reasonable moving them in.

I’ve since discovered her listing is live again. I would be deeply disappointed if she’s allowed to remain on this platform. While she has edited her listing to include garden watering, she’s still omitting critical details and misrepresenting the experience. Her Airbnb is booked throughout her absence—which means people will still be on-site, violating THS policies. She has even attempted to disguise this fact by referring to Airbnb guests as “neighbors” in platform messages. For example, she sent me, that a lot of shenanigans because I’m unwilling to help out a neighbour with a lock which was obviously a blatant lie, one of many used to manipulate and shame me.

I’ve submitted a formal complaint to THS and provided full documentation, including screenshots, handover updates, videos, and photographic evidence. I’ll also be posting an honest and factual review. While I expect retaliation, it would hurt far less if she were removed from the platform and barred from contacting future sitters—or me. No sitter should be expected to endure the level of unpaid labor, stress, and mistreatment I did under the guise of a “pet sit.”

This sit dragged on for several painful days, but the emotional and physical toll will take longer to recover from. I can’t recover the opportunity cost, the lost time, the financial costs, the mental strain, or the emotional toll. All I can hope now is that TrustedHousesitters acts decisively—for the sake of future sitters and the integrity of the platform we all rely on.

(Direct quotes were paraphrased and appear in italics)

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Wow. What a nightmare.
Will you be able to review the sit? If so, your pen will likely cost her a lot of prospective sitters even if she stays on THS.

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@Kiwi that sounds absolutely terrible, so glad you could ‘escape’. Only time will heal.
PS. In which country was this sit, please?

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