@Kiwi just want to confirm did you call your formal complaint a “member dispute” ?
I ask because usually when a “member dispute “ is raised the members’s account is suspended while THS carry out an investigation. So they don’t have the opportunity to re- list during that time .
If you don’t use these precise words THS won’t start an investigation and action .
If you didn’t use the words “member dispute “ initially please follow up with THS and say that you wish your complaint to be a “Member Dispute “
As a sitter who lives in B.C. I’m so sorry to hear what you have been through. Moving forward, hopefully you find enjoyable sits in our Province. I know the sits in Vancouver get snapped up quite quickly but sits in smaller locales may be ones to look at. There’s lovely areas up in Northern B.C. and through the Okanagan area which may be worth looking at. Best of luck!
Ok wow. This has a lot of similarities to a sit I just went through and left.
I too, had to block this HO on Whatsapp to make the verbal abuse and harassment stop. I too had her cleaning lady seemingly “spying” on me and causing triangulations.
I agree with you that these HOs should not be on TH. Good on you for getting out and going through the documentation and report process.
I am finishing mine, it is exhausting. Especially due to the sheer volume of texts, issues, content and verbal instructions in just a few weeks. Going through it all just riles up bad feelings but I will get through it.
I’m not conflict avoidant either…I mean not exactly. As a traveler I am pretty good at just improvising and I am more comfortable in the grey areas than most. But there also comes a point when there are so many issues at once and you have these HOs responding so dramatically and negatively that you just try to let some things slide or work them out on your own. I think most travelers have the tendency to try and fix things or roll with them first.
But this becomes difficult on longer sits.
I now have a firm two-week sit maximum! Unless it’s a repeat sit that I know is great.
So glad you are out there, Kiwi. That really sounds like a nightmare. I guess you already learnt a lot the hard way, especially about yourself. I think the most important thing right now is to take some time to recover and let some grass grow over it, as we say in German.
When you’re ready, I wouldn’t focus too much on analyzing all the red flags you might have missed. Instead, try to look at yourself with more kindness and compassion. This wasn’t your fault. But it’s worth reflecting on how you reacted in those moments, not to blame yourself, but to better understand what patterns might have made it hard for you to say no, to set boundaries, or to walk away sooner.
You don’t need to fix yourself. You’re not broken. But maybe this experience can gently help you see where you’ve been too hard on yourself, too patient with others, or too willing to carry a burden that was never yours to carry. That’s not weakness. That’s something a lot of kind-hearted people struggle with.
What matters is not what happened, but what you take from it, and how you treat yourself moving forward. You deserve to feel safe, respected and valued in any situation. And I hope this will be a reminder that your gut feeling is valid and worth trusting, and that it’s okay to walk away, even if you can’t justify it with clear facts in the moment.
I’m really glad you shared this. It’s brave. And I’m sending you strength and warmth as you move through this.
How awful. You’re not an indentured servant. I would abandon the sit and file a formal complaint against the HO. That is no vacation but abusive and a full time job. It does appear more HOs are feeling entitled but it’s been mostly filth/pest/hoarding issues for me, or dogs with undisclosed aggression issues.
Update:
Thank you again to everyone who supported me through this incredibly difficult experience. I submitted a review with both a TL;DR version and a 3-page detailed review. Unsurprisingly, the HO retaliated with a 1-star review, filled with fabrications: claiming I walked out on my responsibilities, failed to follow instructions, ceased communication, and made false claims to THS.
According to THS support, the HO is being contacted to ensure she sufficiently updates her listing and welcome guide and understands how the platform works. They also told me she has been added to a watchlist, meaning any future violations could lead to permanent removal from the platform. What I don’t know is how many strikes it takes for that to happen—especially for issues like misrepresentation, task overloading, or withholding safety-relevant information like pet aggression or frequent third-party access to the property.
I’ve still not been reimbursed for house-related costs the HO explicitly asked me to cover at the start of the sit. It’s only around $20, but of course the true cost—emergency housing, rebooked travel, emotional strain, and time lost—is far higher. Still, I hate that she gets away with this last bit of injustice, too.
At this point, all I can do is tell the truth, hope it protects someone else, and begin the long process of shaking off the exhaustion and violation that came with this sit.
I’d also love to hear from homeowners in the community— Do you read a review like mine and worry there might be drama, even when the sitter has 20 other 5-star reviews? Does one or two non-perfect ratings (even when the written review is not too negative) make you pause?
I ask because I’ve had mostly wonderful sits and a majority of strong reviews—many of which are detailed and heartfelt. That said, I still have non-perfect reviews including major conflict like this one, and some that blindsided me with 4 stars or lukewarm words/slightly twisted stories (oh do I have stories…)
I know the reality is that no one can control how others choose to rate or respond. But as sitters, we’re constantly aware that one questionable review can make future homeowners hesitant—especially when profiles tend to be filled with perfect 5-star histories.
So I’m genuinely curious: How do you, as a homeowner, weigh the overall pattern of reviews versus one or two outliers?
Would you avoid a sitter just because of that, even when the context is clearly explained?
Thanks in advance for any insights. I know this is a nuanced issue, and I appreciate your time.
A 1 star review would get my attention. I’d pay attention to the specific claims of the HO. Do those claims make sense and fit together. It’s not easy to write a bunch of lies that come across as credible.
Whether it would dissuade consideration of a potential sitter would depend on other HO’s reviews of the sitter. Given your many positive reviews, I’d give you the benefit of a doubt and then check the HO’s reviews of other sitters. I’d also look at how other sitters previously reviewed the HO. Is there a pattern with that HO?
I’d also pay attention to how you respond to the review.
The totality of the situation suggests you’ll fare well down the road. Good luck.
Respectfully, you should have cancelled when you got the WG and if that wasn’t possible for you you should have told the HO you would not be able to do any tasks that were not mentioned to you and agreed upon before accepting the sit. We all get treated exactly the way we allow others to treat us.
Hello! Thank you for this response ; what you stated you ask for before confirmation… a copy of the Welcome Guide; and if the pet parents have any other responsibilities they are expecting that are not in the Welcome Guide ! I have been on a handful of sits now; and have a few coming up in the next couple months. I have had all lovely dogs that I fell in love with; but was not given what seemed to me ; some important information up front about their behavior. I am getting better at asking about how they are with commands; recall etc. Also now dealing with one I did commit to ; broke my own rule I made for myself after one sit; that I need to ask lots of questions before accepting a 1 year old pup. This one is apparently not just the breed listed but 20% of a breed..that I normally would not apply for. So I need to find a way to ask about that; I will be meeting with the HO and the dogs prior to the sit ; so would have time to see the dog’s behavior and to ask what I need to ask to feel comfortable with the dogs. The people sound absolutely awesome; just another example of ; I should have jumped in when I heard them say and he is " 20%"… Anyway, thanks again. I need to learn to advocate better for myself! So far everyone has been lovely! As as someone mentioned above; since the people have all been so nice; it was difficult to accurately review a couple times; not wanting to …be unkind; but also wanting to be honest about some of the challenges.
A bunch of members have kindly shared some of the questions that they ask when they’re arranging a sit. Not all will apply to everyone, but I hope it’ll be a source of inspiration.
