They’re not good people, they’re reneging on their responsibilities and taking advantage of you. I’d call them, make them aware that you’re aware of how few days they’re home and the mileage on the car and ask in a nonconfrontational way what’s going on. That way they know that you know. It’s not much but it’s a good start.
ok they sound like reasonable people. I would have a phone conversation with them if you want to see things change. While remaining calm, express what you are concerned with, and what your expectations are (less long trips, or is it OK if the are taking your dog?, max hours leaving the home per the sit agreement, etc). You are being REALLY kind lending your car. If you did not set clear expectations about using the car ahead of time, then they arent doing anything wrong. Just not very thoughtful….. We let one sitter use our car for a 3 month sit and wrote down the rules AND spoke abot them. Ours were something like: only stay in our town (its small maybe 8 miles from end to end), do not engage the 4 Wheel Drive or go driving in the desert (its a jeep we live in a desert with 4 wheeling trails), and made suggestions for the local conditions but not rules. We live in a tourist town that can get crazy on weekends in particular and tourists drink and drive and there are often car wrecks on weekends late at night or still drunks on the road early mornings near weekends. Sounds like you can get through the sit together with them with some very clear, calm communication. If they are NOT following your written wishes (by your listing specifics or via messaging on THS - do this to have a trail and THS can help you later as needed) then do not worry about THEIR flight out, it is not your problem. Documentation after the talk in writing of the agreed upon expectations is key within the THS messaging app to cover yourself if things do not improve immediately after a discussion. Good luck!
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Well, let’s take a deep breath and ponder a few things. There is too much missing from the picture for me to offer suggestions other than talk to the sitters.
You became aware of this a few weeks into a 2.5 month sit that has 10 days remaining. So this has been going on for a while… potentially even during their previous sits. What prompted you to post today? I am puzzled by the delay.
2000 miles over 39 days averages to just over 50 miles a day. That doesn’t seem outrageous when one considers a round trip to town is 36 miles.
Are they taking the pet with them when they are away overnight? Or is one of them staying home with the pet(s)?
See what I mean? Lots of possible explanations. Not necessarily nefarious.
Best to just ask them about it and soften the query by saying that you are sure there is a reasonable explanation.
Or there isn’t, they are jerks and you pull the plug.
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Believe me I have been thinking about this since mid Jan. when they were also watching the other dog and traveled more than 100 miles to a small town in a neighboring state. According to the trip history it was to an airport. We are in another country trying to enjoy ourselves so we aren’t necessarily thinking about this every minute of every day. Kind of as the saying goes, “out of sight, out of mind”? And now here we are 2 months later.
A lot of the trips are to a ski resort about 25 miles away. There are several trips to town to the mall.
The longest they have stayed home is 3 days. They are husband and wife with two girls (ages around 10) that they home school. Last year the husband flew home with about a month left to the stay. She is a cpa/accountant so was always concerned with stable internet. This year it doesn’t seem as important.
I appreciate everyone’s input and think I may address this after the sit. We will be needing someone next year unless we figure out how to bring our doodle with us, which would be ideal.
Thanks for listening and all the great advice.
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If you feel they are not good people, I really don’t want to make them angry especially when they are with my dog. I wouldn’t care if they left, but at what expense to my dog or our belongings.
I will try to address this afterwards.
Thanks
Right. That’s why I said to ask them what’s going on in a nonconfrontational way.
Does this mean that haven’t been in the house and are gone for days at a time or do you mean they are out all day and are home overnight?
It sounds like you are in a location with lots of things to do and they are a family of 4. Are you sure they are all gone at the same time? One parent could be taking the kids skiing while the other stays at home with the dog. Might they be taking the dog with them? To be honest, I find it a little creepy that you are monitoring their activities.
I understand the concern of a lot of miles on a new car. However, if you didn’t put any restrictions in place, they may have assumed they could use it as they would their own car. Personally, I’ve never used a HOs car and don’t plan to. But I think if HOs are offering a car they need to be extremely clear on what is being offered - limited use only for grocery shopping, only for use in town, unlimited, etc?
It sounds like the sit is nearing an end. Hopefully, your dog has been well taken care of. Have they been sending photos/updates?
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I’m not “monitoring”. I am just checking to see where they go. That’s why it makes this difficult to bring up. I don’t want them to think I’m spying on them. They are only gone for the day and return each late afternoon or early evening. It appears they are just taking advantage of sight seeing opportunities.
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And how exactly do I do that? I’m not good with confrontation.
You need to call, not text on this. Get them on the phone, ask how it’s going, and explain that your car app reports 2000 miles on the car and the vehicle only being at the residence 11 days out of 39 and you’ve got some concerns as to whether the pets are being given enough attention. Or something like that. It’s the tone not the words so much, and how they’re delivered. You basically want them to know that you know, and you’d like the apparent discrepancies explained.
Checking where someone goes is the definition of monitoring.
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I was incorrect in my mileage. To date it’s 33 days of travel days averaging 100 miles per day.
Um, what else would you call it?
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So that would be 3300 miles. Above, you said it was a 2.5 month sit, there are 10 days left, and they went 2000 miles. That’s about 1000 miles a month which is actually pretty normal car usage. Over 3300 is a lot, but it’s unclear which post was accurate.
I think at this point all you can really do is reach out to them and say you’ve noticed that they driven a lot more miles than you expected and ask for clarification on the car usage and pet care.
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I’m not stalking it was merely by accident this started because my app sends me notifications when the doors are left unlocked, which was set by default when we first started using it. Keep in mind we only had the vehicle for a couple of months before we left so it was still really new to us. I didn’t really think much about it until it got to be almost an every day notification. It was only then I would check to see their whereabouts. More curiosity than anything.
Also, as I mentioned, they know I knew when the tire pressure alert came on so they must know what I’m seeing or at least suspect it.
Sorry to have bothered you about this. I was merely looking for guidance on how to handle what I deem a sensitive situation. I thought this was the best place to start, but I guess I was mistaken.
Monitoring isn’t stalking and your concerns regarding these sitters are valid. You’ve received some good advice on how to handle the situation; it’s in your best interests to reach out and get these things clarified.
@systaran’s suggestion is good. Tell them there’s more mileage on the car than you expected and you’re wondering where it’s coming from. Hopefully that will get you an answer as to why they aren’t at the property much, if not, then the same advice applies. You’re concerned about them not being there enough to give the pets the attention they need. Cool, calm, and not confrontational, just a bit concerned.
In 44 days they have been gone 33 of those days and total miles driven is 3000. So approx. 90 miles. The first post was based on stats from a week ago.
I get it, you think I’m being petty.
Was just looking for help with a sensitive situation.
Everyone is talking at once so I may be off, but here is my two cents. You have had these sitters before and been happy with them. You had no idea what they were doing on previous sits but it clearly seemed fine as you had them back. It doesn’t seem like unreasonable travel really although initially I thought “2000 miles on new car” and I feel like that’s the crux of it. Mileage added to your new car that you didn’t do. You can’t expect them to stay home every day and as others have pointed out one person might be. Live and learn on this one I reckon, you would not have this worry except for the app notifications.
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This is getting kind of messy with the shifting of the numbers
I don’t think you’re being petty. I just think there may have been a miscommunication about car usage. You clearly expected less usage and they must have assumed they could use it as they like. It seems you were happy with these sitters in the past. Just be very clear on expectations around car usage in the future.
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Thank you I really appreciate it!!