I would definitely leave the house immediately if someone treated me that way, and probably even if I witnessed a couple treating each other like that. As I already said, the interpersonal aspect is one of the most important things for me in THS. If that doesn’t feel right, I’m out. My life is already exhausting enough, so I don’t need a “hobby” to make it even harder.
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Right. Imagine if you saw a listing that said: We show hospitality, like treating you to dinner. But we might occasionally snap and yell and swear at you.
What sitter would sign up for that, unless they were desperate or also not right in the head?
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Dear Newpetlover: No one, including myself, said such behavior was tolerable. I simply pointed out that in a situation in which there was no prior indication of bad behavior that it bears examining whether or not there was some unusual antecedent that was not apparent. The scenario presented in the op about a snapshot in time drew the immediate ire of so many so I simply suggested that there may be more to consider before rising to anger. Since my suggestion to seek understanding did not sit well with you, you might want to you might consider the following.
Imagine this situation…
You park your car in front of someone’s driveway for just a moment while you just dropping something off at an establishment nextdoor. You are in some sort of rush and is common practice in that area due to the lack of parking. But on one particular day, as you are returning to your car you are confronted by an irate woman shouting at you at the top of her lungs. She then hops into her car and nearly striking yours while she impatiently maneuvers around yours. You are shocked and angry at this woman for berating you, driving erratically around your car and not simply waiting a minute for you to move your car. What a horrible person! Understandingly upset, you share this interaction with several passerbys, who feel badly for you and agree that such behavior should not t be tolerated. One passerby takes it upon herself to pick up some mail and decorations on this woman’s porch and throw it all over her yard to teach her a lesson. Another decides to report this horrible woman to the police for driving recklessly over the curb to get around your car. The others, wrapped up in the moment, are in support of taking a stance against such intolerable behavior. On this day Vengeance was theirs.
Why am I sharing this story. Because that rude, horrible and impatient woman was me, after receiving the phone call that my son had died. While frantically trying to get to the airport, I failed to take the time to explain any of this to the man whose car was blocking my drive. To say I was out of sorts is an understatement. This man had no way of knowing my circumstance, neither did any of the angry people gathered on the sidewalk in front of my house. Nonetheless, in sympathy, they decided that some kind of action against me was justified.
Was my behavior in that moment acceptable. I will admit, no it was not. But was their anger and response justified? I imagine your answer would vary depending on the knowledge you possessed. This is why I feel it is better to seek understanding before passing judgement and reacting.
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One can’t. How would that even be possible? You don’t need to sign in to read the forum. Even if you did, you could just sign in with another email address. It’s easy to change an IP address so they can’t use that.
Now that is telling….
I agree that there are ways around it. Cheers
I suspect it’s my word against the HO for the formal complaint so I’m not expecting much tbh.
As stated when I initially contacted live support they suggested I sit down and talk to the HO ad to why they shouted and swore at me. I declined this suggestion as my safety is most important.
Will update when I get a THS response.
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They banned this guy from the forum, so it’s not as if it was a one-off. Pattern of crap behavior. Then they suggest you talk with him? To take further abuse? THS guidance is sounding off more and more.
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I understand that there can be tragic circumstances, but I still believe that everyone is responsible for their own behavior, and others shouldn’t have to guess or figure out what might be going on. No one is a mind-reading human being, and it is not the responsibility of others to anticipate or uncover what has happened. There is such a thing as a code of conduct, and to be honest, I find it puzzling why I should try to understand their situation. As much as I feel sorry for your own personal story, my opinion remains unchanged – no, I don’t agree.
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I’m wondering whether his name starts with “K” @richten1?
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@CAadventurer
There is a Code of Conduct, and yes, people are responsible for their actions; however, it costs nothing, (while still setting one’s own boundaries), to be reflective and still have empathy.
Thank YOU for your reflection.
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@temba Haha!! The same thought occurred to me!! If so I saw him active again- briefly- not so long ago- so he must have been banned a second time! A very volatile character. I actually found his listing at the time and earmarked it for future avoidance!
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@temba My thought too!!
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No. Sorry to disappoint! 
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You are not responsible for someone’s else’s reaction to having a bad day.
There’s no excuse for his threatening behavior.
And of course he’ll take you to coffee so that you’ll soft pedal a review.
I really hope you warn others about his violent outburst. You could save someone’s from an escalated event.
As a woman I would steer clear of anyone whose review even hinted at a threatening situation.
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It’s good that you reported the host anyway, because if it’s on record and they end up getting additional complaints, THS is more likely to realize he’s a repeat offender and potentially do something about that.
Some people have anger management or mental health issues. The fact that they’re so easily tipped into irrational and abusive behavior can be the tip of an iceberg.
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Agree 100%. Report to THS.
and all you wanted was to help?!?!?!
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I’ve done almost 60 sits and never had anything like that happen. I hope you throw the HO under the bus in your review. There is no excuse that type of behavior.
Unless you lost or hurt someone’s pet or burned their house down, it is completely unacceptable to yell or swear at you. And if it did happened, they need to follow up with an apology.
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