May I ask if English is not your first language? Because in English ‘to sleep with someone’ has a very specific meaning. - I try now to make a sentence without being moderated and still be clear…pfff…. It means ‘being physically intimate’. -
Is it possible that there are things what are being said? Are you a solo woman and this is a solo man?
Even when these overlap nights are common at TH that doesn’t mean that there is a sort of rule that everyone has to accept an overlap or mention this beforehand.
When you are someone who doesn’t want this - which is absolutely ok for whatever reason! - you can mention this in your own profile in a friendly way. That is the easiest solution I can think of.
If you read the original post again, it sounds like the OP is a couple and the host is a woman and at least one other person, as it says “sleep there with them.”
I think the post is well-written English (not perfect but very good) and would be very surprised if English is not their first language!
Hosts and sitters are free to negotiate overlapping on either end of a sit but a host requiring an overnight with them is a serious violation of THS’s Terms and Conditions:
5.2.13. ensure your home is vacated for a Sitter throughout the duration of the Sit, and that no third parties will interfere with the Sitter’s enjoyment of your property;
@PVGemini As English is not my first language, I discussed this post with a British person. Of course, one British person may disagree with another, but I can assure you that the phrase ‘sleeping with them’ inspired quite a few jokes during our conversation
I did briefly consider not responding at all, because even with the best intentions, someone who is feeling sensitive may still feel hurt. I genuinely try to communicate respectfully. But surely there also needs to be a little room to mention the elephant in the room, especially when it is already sitting there wearing pyjamas.
And the original poster still hasn’t answered my question…
@HouseSittersGuide Yes, I feel the same! At a level that I almost feel guilty when we are sort of within a few hundreds of kilometres and don’t have the time to check if they have time for dinner or a coffee
Due to the ongoing pandemic, I don’t share space with anyone overnight and make that clear in my profile. Before I added that detail, one homeowner declined my application when we discussed details and she said she absolutely required the sitter to stay the night before she left. I offered to stay in a hotel but that didn’t suit her, so we said our good-byes at that point. On another video call, when discussing the handover the hosts warmly invited me to arrive the night before they left, as they had to leave early the next morning. I explained why I don’t do that, but when they told me the guest room was on the lower level and had its own entrance I agreed to stay the night before. All the other times I’ve arrived for sits, if the destination is more than about a five-hour drive I have stayed in the area in a hotel the night before and met them that day or we plan for me to arrive in time for them to show me the ropes before they leave. 19/20 hosts have honored my preference not to stay overnight with them, which speaks volumes about the graciousness of this community. All my sits have been in the northeastern United States, FYI.
Really? Well i told to trustedhousesitters that she must write that in her add and write the date when she is leaving and they said that she hasn’t done anything against the rules and that it’s not necessary for her to put it in the add since she told me in the call.
So i dont understand why she cant put that in her add and many people like mine will not apply…
Hosts can require an overlapping night if they like. Doesn’t mean a sitter has to agree. That’s part of negotiating at the outset. If they can’t reach agreement, it’s just not a match. That’s why THS says the host didn’t do anything wrong.
It’s a matching service. No one is conscripted. But the host doesn’t have to agree to no overnight just because some sitters don’t want to. No one is entitled to a sit.
@Traveler27 here’s an idea, when you apply perhaps you could make it clear that you don’t do video calls, or sits that require an overnight stay where the host wants you to arrive the day before the host goes away. Or, you could include this information in your profile, to save your time and that of the the hosts. Good luck.
It’s their home and their pets, so it’s their rules, but it is a little weird when you’ve offered to go around prior for the keys & a meet and greet, we’ve never encountered that, everyone’s been fine with us picking up keys beforehand on the occasions we preferred not to stay.
