Host insists sitters stay overnight before departure... has this happened to anyone else?

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

Yesterday, something strange happened.

​I had a call with someone who needs a pet sitter for just under a week. She asked many questions, we talked about everything, etc. But at the end of the call, she told me that she was not leaving the house on the 24th as she wrote in her add; instead, the pet sitters need to sleep there with them, and they are leaving on the 25th.

​We have done that twice before: once because it was a dog and the homeowner left almost in the middle of the night, and another time during our first pet sitting because we also arrived very late. Both of those times, it was not mandatory.

But when this woman told me, I said, “It is not necessary, but thanks for the offer.”

​She replied that it was not an offer, it was an obligation, because she doesn’t want strangers arriving directly at her home on the same day and staying with the cats! So we have to sleep there, no exceptions, while the homeowners are still there.

​I offered to come the day before to pick up the keys and meet the cats, but she said no, she wants us to sleep there. Considering all of these things, I find it very weird:

  1. ​She should have put that in her add and also told me before wasting my time with a call.
  2. ​She should not state that she is leaving on the 24th because that is not true.
  3. ​Considering I offered to come the day before to meet the cats and pick up the keys, I cannot understand this obligation.
  4. We will be strangers anyway thats why people trust this website and check reviews etc.

​I was quite shocked when she told me that at the end of the call, and I just said that I would think about it. Afterward, I told her that we are not interested.

​Why do people waste others’ time by not being honest about these mandatory arrangements?

Has it ever happened to you that you were forced to sleep there?

Thanks!

(Title edited by Forum team to clarify situation)

2

Yes, it would be better to be clear in listings, so sitters like you could save time. Many hosts probably don’t realize that would be a problem for some sitters.

I’ve often overlapped with hosts and spent the night there before they left. Never bothered me.

3

We had a couple of sits where we were asked to arrive a day before their departure to go through all details (longer sits, bigger property), but this was always discussed at a very early stage, before we confirmed the sit and we were comfortable with that arrangement.

We always ask about their departure and arrival in our initial call (usually hosts always ask for one where we are sitting), as it may not be matching what they put as requested arrival/departure for the sitter. This way we know if they actually insist on an overlap, as few hosts will put this in their description.

We also had hosts that actually asked for early arrival to go through everything, but then they took a room for a night.

4

I must say I was a bit shocked by your subject line, ‘Obligation of sleeping with owners’. But reading your post I think you mean staying in the house while the owners are still there. Presumably you would have your own bedroom in the house and not actually have to sleep in the same room with the owners? I have arrived the night before on at least 3 sits because the home owners were leaving really early/middle of the night. On two of these occasions I had dinner with the home owners. I have found it a really nice experience, a chance to get to know the hosts, the pets and the house and routines in a relaxed way. On all occasions the house has been large and I had my own bedroom and en-suite. My feeling is that you need to be guided by the home owner and what suits them, and if it doesn’t suit you then you don’t accept the sit.

5

When I first started here, there were three hosts I spent the night before and now I say no and would rather stay in a hotel if I have to. All three times husband and wife were stressed about the packing and leaving pickups and other things and they were arguing. It was so awkward for me, a perfect stranger who met them an hour ago for the first time. The tension remained in the morning between them. All three times I escaped by going to bed early and food shopping in AM when the arguing became heated.

Your host sounds very demanding insisting you stay the night when you gave her perfectly good options. I would have a red flag that she will be a problem on the entire sit.

6

@Traveler27, your decision is entirely understandable. We have slept in the same house as pet parents, before or after housesit, many times. As international housesitters, then this is often a green flag for us as it helps ease travel logistics.

Many of our pet parents are taking international flights to distant locations - another green flag for us, as committed. Or some have complicated pet care or property situation. So arriving a day early provides them with comfort, even if only that we actually do turn up!

But everyone is different. If any parent requires that - rather than is open to - housesitters arrive a day early then this should be clearly stated in the listing.

7

She doesnt invite us to stay because they have to travel the next days early or something.

She clearly wrote the pet sitting start the 24 but she is leaving the 25 because she said is an obligation sleep there and stay there all day. I feel that very strange, of course if is an invitation or is because she needs to leave very early or something like that we can consider and we doesnt mind but not like an obligation…

8

I think the lack of flexibility is the red flag :triangular_flag: you’ve offered a compromise and she won’t bend so best you part and move on. We had one host who wanted a four day handover!! It was a long complex sit in a developing country but even so it was way toooooo much. One night though, we’re good with but all info should be up front in the listing no question. I often think hosts who have sitters instead of kennels are much closer to their animals and want the reassurance of knowing their sitter is a good fit and the overlap time helps that happen. #yourcall

9

I agree with Cuttlefish it’s the lack of flexibility that concerns me here.

I dont see a problem with the sitter staying over the night before to learn the pets’ routine etc. I dont have time to do that on the day I leave, the day before is much more convenient, so I’ve always arranged that with my sitters. I have since updated my listing to state that upfront. BUT I’ve always been open to options, eg, if someone was willing to come the day before but preferred to stay the night elsewhere that’s fine by me.

10

The start date of a sit is usually the date that the homeowner expects you to arrive, not the date that they leave. It could happen that you arrive on the same day that the HO leaves, but if the HO wants you to overlap by a night, then most sitters want to know when to arrive.

It is fairly common for sits to have an overlap, though more common with dogs that with cats. It would be helpful if HOs specified that there will be an overlap in their listing.

11

I’ve stayed with HOs the night before many times. I don’t enjoy it, however welcoming they are.

In fact, only yesterday I had a video call with an HO which ended something like..

“You’re most welcome to stay with us the night before.”

“Ah… Er, thanks. But…er… I normally stay in a hotel.”

“No no no, you don’t want to spend money on that! Come and stay here!”

“That’s very kind of you. Er… [quaver]… Thankyou so much!”

So now, in true British style, I’m tied into an arrangement that makes me very nervous and uncomfortable. Gah!

I have every sympathy with you.

12

I frequently leave very early in the morning and require a sitter to do a handover the day before - ever since the no-overlap rules went into effect, it can be tricky to schedule correctly. I usually post the start date as the day I am leaving BUT… I put at the very top of my profile that a handover must happen prior to that, and offer to host the sitter overnight (sometimes a sitter is already in the area and/or has other arrangements). My priority is getting the in-person handover that takes about 45 minutes - I’ve had sitters come by days before to do this, and I’ve had sitters stay the night. No biggie.

This HO made 2 mistakes - not stating their needs clearly in the profile, and then also being super inflexible. You are well rid of them. I suspect they will have a hard time finding experienced sitters (since many will feel that the bait and switch about it is a deal breaker, like OP did), or will get a review that warns others. Who knows, maybe they will find someone for whom this is a preferable arrangement. But good for you for knowing what won’t work for you and withdrawing.

13

the ask isn’t an issue, it’s the way she told you, you would have to stay that is the issue. I understand a HO who want to ensure the pet sitter arrived already the night before, in case of delays for example, but after being told it was not an option, I would have politely decline the sit, because what else will not be an option, later on.

14

I always enjoy spending a few hours or a day with the home owner. We usually have a great chat, wine comes out, we have dinner and then in the morning we say good bye as friends.

I think this is one of the better parts of the house sits

15

I love that part too! I have several past sitters I consider friends now.

16

Hi Traveler27, This is very normal to arrive the night before. I have completed about 80 sits with Trusted House sitters now and I would say 90% of these. that I arrived the night before owners departed. I actually prefer it as get to meet the owners and pets and sit down and have a relaxing meal with them. Frequently I am shown walks that I can go on, if sitting dogs or not. Sometimes I am also driven around the local area to familiarise where everything is. The owners are also more relaxed as they know you have arrived and settled in. Far more stressful if you simply arrive on the day and are delayed by traffice etc. with no time to show you around and everyone panicking. And even for short sits of only three or four nights I have arrived the evening before. So, yes this is very normal and in most cases it is expected.

17

I agree, I still keep in contact with some of the past house owners. Whenever we are in the area we catch up for dinner and drinks.

It’s really nice to have friends around the world

18

Agree with you & @belluca

Although I completely understand that not everyone does this for the same reasons, the connections & friendships I’ve made has been one of the best parts of petsitting for me, & I enjoy getting to know the hosts & meeting up when I’m in the area again.

For the OP: I wouldn’t consider the host including the overlap day to be a deception as it’s commonly done, and THS doesn’t have a way to make those days clear in the posted listing dates. Possibly their inflexibility is a bit of a flag, but I won’t try to guess how it was stated vs how it was perceived. In the end, the host requires their sitter to arrive the day beforehand to feel comfortable, & you aren’t comfortable with sharing the space, so it’s not a good match…and that’s OK. :+1:

19

A video call would have cleared this up.

20

@Cuttlefish Thanks for your perspective. I think a lot of times it is about flexibility ánd the ability to listen beyond the words. I have the same sensitivity towards inflexibility :innocent:, and must admit there are things where I can be also inflexible but that is another story.

What I am missing in this story is if it is a first time host. What I noticed is not only with pet sitting but also with home exchange that people who are this doing for the first time, sometimes are anxious an not everyone is good with words. When you take the time to listen what’s behind the words - like here is the trigger word ‘obligation’ - you may find out more that is behind the words.