Inspired by CreatureCuddler’s post on another thread, let’s hear how you talk to the pets you sit! Have you ever said something truly ridiculous that made you think, “if anyone was listening in right now they’d think I was crazy”? Have you ever gotten stares or laughs from the public? Do you sing and dance with the pets? (I do). Give us some entertaining examples, please!
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This is my sort of topic! For context, I work in a school for children with severe and profound learning difficulties. Many are non verbal, but understand much more than they are able to express. So I spend a lot of time talking with no expectation of getting a reply. So it is only natural that I would also talk to pets.
We did a recent housesit in France, for French speaking hosts. I spent a lot of time chatting to all the pets in French and my children thought I was mad as I chatted away to them at length. The dog certainly recognised that I was speaking the language she was used to hearing. The boys would speak to her in English, or hesitant French and she would pay no attention. As soon as I spoke to her, she would stop, turn to look at me and tilt her head on one side!
Another regular sit has one young and one older dog. When it is time for them to go out to the garden for their bedtime toilet trip, we often need to go through several rooms to get to the snug where they access the garden. The younger dog follows us anyway, but the older one is often reluctant to move. I took to singing
“Charlie go for wee-wee,
Charlie go for wee-wee.
La laa la la
La laa la la”
accompanied by a little conga style dance. He would lie there not moving until he heard the song, then lift his head to listen, get up and follow me. It became such a ritual that I had to explain to his owners that he might only go for a wee if the sung the song! They still invite us back, so they can’t think I am too mad!
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I know the exact cadence in which you sang those lines 
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I do all the crazy things with the creatures. Once I was sitting for a dog in Germany who was originally a street dog from Mexico City and her owners were Mexican. I speak Spanish so I was speaking to her in Spanish just saying silly terms of endearments like how pretty she is and all that kind of thing. The Germans were looking at my like I was nuts but the Mexican guy I passed started cracking up and asked why I was speaking Spanish to a dog in Germany. lol. Turns out he was from Mexico City too so they bonded. 
I come up with all kinds of nicknames for them as well. “Sweet baby cute face” is kind of my default and then, as I know them better, they get ones that are a bit more personalized like “Mr howly mc hungry face” or “miz naps a lot”
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Of course I do. I talk to them. I sing to them. I jump and dance and pretend to wag my tail. I laugh… that really relaxes them. If I laugh they start wagging their tail. I have a good time and so do they.
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I tend to talk “baby talk” to the pets I look after - like I used to talk to my children when they were young. I also say “are you ready for your din din” at dinnertime (they always seem to understand that expsion) and always say “we’ll be back” when we go out and leave them.
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I just do a baby voice and treat them as if it’s my child 
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I used to house sit a cat that was very skiddish. She would hide under the bed all day. So i would pull up the dust ruffle, lie on the floor and talk to her, usually practicing my Spanish. I called her Princesa!
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That is so sweet! And I often talk to pets in Spanish too…I think because I learned it when I was a kid and have mostly used it while watching kids, so somehow it’s my language for all small creatures
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I also always explain why I’m leaving and that I’ll be back and when even to the cats !
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I sat a cat in Switzerland a few years back that couldn’t understand me at first and I had to use google translate and speak Swiss German to him. I still remember ‘Grüezi…’ (hello) and he would run up to me meow and smooch like mad. I stayed there for a long sit and by the end he could understand Aussie real well 
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I read somewhere years ago that cats ability to understand language was far higher than dogs. They just chose if they want to let you know they know.
We have a young cat at home currently who was attached to my husband. (I say was, he’s now attached to me) The cat had the awful habit of jumping up on the kitchen table and laying there. He’s long haired and large. I explained to my husband that he can explain to the cat why we don’t want him on the table. And I hear this conversation “Your dirty feets and bum bum are all over our eating space and your furs stay behind and its not nice for us” He showed him an alternative higher vantage point and it took one more time explaining and moving him and he’s never jumped on the table again.
Cats are remarkable creatures.
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Lots of the pets I look after tend to follow me everywhere so I explain to them what I am doing, what comes next, if they can or can’t join in… This is mostly in my native language but they get the tone and intention. I use a very soft voice, even softer if it’s cats. I do use the typical commands in their language, be it spoken or signed. In the longer sit I did, both the cat and the dog ended up understanding basic expressions in Spanish. It was very funny and the owners were pleased that they were so good at language learning 
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We sat for a dog that always got overexcited about going out for a walk - lots of loud ( very loud ) excited barking , jumping up and twisting around in circles. He also assumed that whenever you were leaving the house he was coming too .
He had been taught a code word for if his owners were going out without him - he understood when you said “ we’re going shopping” that he wasn’t coming and would quietly sit in his favourite spot . This was the only phrase that worked and quietened him down enabling you to leave the house without him so whenever we were going out without him , we had to say it .
However I felt uncomfortable about lying ( even though it was just to a dog ) 
so I would add where we were actually going at the end of the phrase …
e.g “we’re going shopping , cinema” or “we’re going shopping restaurant “ 
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peak cat behavior
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I have whole conversations with them and I do both voices (theirs and mine). Depending on the dog/cat looks’ and general vibes, the voice I assign to them changes (a deep voice for a old dog, for instance).
A bit weird, but lots of fun 
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I volunteered for a cat charity that caught feral cats and spayed and neutered them before working out if they could be domesticated. One of the ways to warm cats up was to talk to them in a low calm voice. So I always talk to cats on my cats sit. I remember on a recent handover I said hello and the name of the cat to introduce myself. One of the HO’s said oh you talk to cats too! 
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