I tend to bend over backwards to accommodate sitters. Starter food, coffee/tea, beautiful guest room and bath. She gave me a five star overall but lower stars on the categories and troublesome comments. She harassed my neighbor to get in the parks pool area. I cannot and would not leave a key since the key also opens the clubhouse with valuables. Besides it is against the rules for guests to go to the pool or workout room without the owner. I found out she is living in her car and brought everything she owned into my home. I am just not sure what to do. My review to her was brief and kind towards my cat care. 4 stars.
THS wants disputes to be handled by owner/sitter. Has anyone sent an âeducationalâ email to the sitter after the fact?
Her living in her car is not a crime. While many sitters are travelling for a limited amount of time, or even travelling from home to your sit, others may be not have a fixed address or may be sitting for a while far from that address.
It would make sense if someone is mostly on the road that they would be bringing their stuff inside a home where it would be more secure as opposed to keeping it outside in the car. I could see however that this woud be disconcerting. Probably if I was the sitter, I would give homeowners a headsup on this eg: âIâm nomadic, so I have a lot of my stuff in the car that Iâll be unloading and storing in your house during the sit.â
If you offered amenities like the pool on your listing or have photos of the pool, then the sitters should have access to the pool. If you didnât mention the pool or show photos of it, then in your shoes Iâd stil mention in the chat as in âWe have a private park/gym/pool/clubhouse but itâs not allowed to have âunsupervisedâ guests, so I am afraid I canât give you access.â OR âIn order for me to give you access to these amenities I have to clear it with security, so Iâll need a copy of your driverâs license. Hereâs how you can send me that securely if you want access.â
If she said things in her review that you felt were untrue or unfair, you can respond to the review. Itâs a good idea to be as objective and fact based as you can and not to bring up a lot of counterclaims that you didnât mention in your review. Sitters and homeowners reading your response willl take it less seriously if it seems too emotional.
If she had a dispute with a neighbor or security or something during the sit, thatâs legitimate to mention in a review. The review has specific categories so thatâs how you should be rating.
No matter what THS is now saying in its website, it is primarily a matching site. You need to vet sitters carefully to make sure you are comfortable with the person who will be coming into your home. If you took a chance because this person was the only applicant, then Iâd recommend next time coming to the forum for help in making your listing more appealing to more sitters. There is no rule that you have to choose someone because they are the only one applying.
Iâm not sure why you would need to send an âeducational emailâ to a sitter, but you can certainly send a sitter private feedback. They can send you private feedback as well.
This doesnât sound like a situation where further contact would help. Iâd just respond to her review with unemotional facts if you wish to clarify anything and then leave it. You gave her a 4* review, which is not going to help her get future sits. If you were honest in your review then things should work themselves out.
As for her living in her car and bringing her things into your place, Iâve had several sitters in the same position who were respectful and responsible. A lot of sitters are nomadic so as long as they take it with them when they go I donât really care. One of our past sitters were car-less and left a huge pile of stuff to pick up later⌠I really like them, but didnât love that.
Harassing the neighbor is not okay. For future you could note that the pool is off limits due to HOA restrictions, but if sheâs the first to cause trouble itâs probably not an issue. Basically, Iâd just consider this a valuable lesson and keep moving forward with sitters who have more history on THS.
Clarification on your reasons for sending an âeducational e-mailâ :
Do you want to do this from the place of care, concern and helpfulness for her next sit (which likely wonât involve the need for a pool pass) or do you want to re-iterate the issues youâve brought up here ?
If your desire arises from the former (and you leave out any and all mention of where she lives and anything associated with such) and your angle is truly one of wanting to help, that would be lovely.
If it is anything else, it would serve no purpose.
We took have a community pool. It is not in my photos and I donât note it as an amenity.
In my welcome guide I clearly state that it is off limits to sitters as our HOA requires owners to accompany guests.
I send the welcome guide out now before the initial video chat and one sitter (dodged a bullet) complained that we were withholding pool access (oh the inhumanity).
Sorry you had that experience. Iâve had sitters with a couple of reviews and they were great, would have them back anytime. I had a sitter with a few reviews and she was fine but with some issues and I wouldnât have her back. So, sometimes the gamble works out and they work hard for the first solid review, other times not so much.
Maybe Iâm slow but I donât get your concern. The sitter lives out of her car and wanted to use the pool is a problem how? You deducted stars but you want to do more? Do what
You have 1 chance to reply to her review of you. There is no time limit to you responding. Take your time and clearly state the problems encountered. You were not clear on that front in your op. Leave out emotional or accusatory language. Read what you write carefully and decide whether your response reflects poorly on you or not.
FWIW, first time sitters can be problematic though most are not. Local first time sitters have a greater potential for problems. Better luck next time.
Well honestly not all HO would accept a sitter living out of there car. Over and over again, sitters on this forum ask for transparency from HO. Is it not the same for sitters?
Did sitter say on the video chat, hey, Iâm fully nomad right now and live in my car between sits? But that is ok to âhideâ but a HO âhidingâ a reactive dog is not ok?
I like transparency on ALL sides.
If Sitter is living out of a car, then they should say so. Some HO are ok with it. I would have questions about their stability in an emergency. But isnât that up to each HO to decide, as itâs up to each sitter to decide when HO discloses something?
Hmmm⌠One personâs âharassingâ is anotherâs âpolitely asking a couple of timesâ.
As for the rest, Iâm just not getting your concern. So - she was living out in her car between sits. And brought her worldly goods into your home, rather than leaving them outside, vulnerable. Who wouldnât?
I understand your disappointment that she marked you down on a couple of categories in her review. But for the sit itselfâŚ. I canât see what she did wrong.
The problem with using pool was it wasnât allowed by the HOA. In the US, some developments are under the regulation of an HOA and there are rules, which of broken the HO is fined for.
There are homeless persons living out of their cars on the streets and there are nomadic sitters who âlive out of their car.â They are not equivalent. Unless youâre going to interrogate all applicants on their personal living situations, where and how they live is none of your or my business. You might want to make it your business but it is not.
The sitter did not use the pool. They apparently asked or tried to use the pool but were unsuccessful. That makes HOA rules moot and âthe problemâ not actually a problem.
If I had a sitter that was bothering my neighbors about using something without me around, Iâd have a lot more scrutiny in the building on future sitters, so it could potentially be a problem even if the pool was not used. Being on an HOAâs radar as a problem member/tenant is never a good thing.
Agree with others that there is little to gain from sending any sort of âeducationalâ email now.
They did try to and pester neighbors, so is that not a problem? Oh wait, they are a sitter, so they get away with that?
Why they are living out of their car is moot. Sitters complain about sofa beds, and how they should be disclosed so they can decide. Do HO have no right to decide whether they want a sitter living out of car sitting for them? If nothing is wrong, then just disclose it? Why the double standard, HO has to disclose all, and sitters can pick and choose? Again if nothingâs wrong with it just disclose it. Transparency works both ways, not just for sitters.
HOAâs do prohibit things like camper vans and RVs, so yes HO can absolutely ASK sitter applicants that are nomadic what their circumstances are. It isnât ânone of our businessâ of it will result in fines and potentially worse consequences for the HO.
If a neighbor âchecked inâ on a sitter, how many sitters would be ok with that? Even if they were âunsuccessfulâ with their check in? How many sitters would tell a poster to report that HO?
But a sitter pestering neighbors is ok? And it may not be personal privacy but as other posters noted a sitter pestering other HO can result in fines by an HOA for a HO. That has long term ramifications for a HO, long after the sitter is gone.
Please be considerate of all others, not just sitters.
They probably have the right to decide but HOs have no right to ask.
If you live in a place where HOAs have that much power then crossing the Ts and dotting Is maybe justifies being hysterical about HOA rule violations. I donât live in such a place so your strawman simply sounds ridiculous to me.
BTW, as a host, my neighbors regularly check in on sitters. Iâm not aware of any sitters having problems with that.
Funny I see threads here all the time about sitters complaining about being checked in on by neighbors? But just my imagination I guess.
Great, HO can have neighbors, friends, family check in on sitters now?
Also, you clearly donât understand HOAs and no need to judge where and how others live.
Living in a car is fine, but living in an HOA is not? Why the double standard?
And since a HO (per you) canât ask a sitter why they are living in a car, a Sitter cannot ask a HO why they live in an HOA then ,right?
Each should just accept the limitations of the other without judgement, but that doesnât mean without questions.
So if a HO states nonuse of a community po, just accept you canât use a community pool without pestering neighbors. Itâs not that hard, a pool is really not a necessity in life and if you want one, then specifically ask for one and donât apply for sits that donât offer one.
Ugh sorry to hear about this. I choose not to use a sitter with 5 or more 5-star reviews. In fact I prefer to see double digit 5-star reviews and I read MANY reviews before i decide to interview someone. I am super picky and have high standards. As a result i do a video interview (using WhatsApp) with every sitter i am interested in, if they donât seem to be a good fit I move on. Donât feel obligated to decide while on the interview video call, tell them you are still in the process of reviewing applicants and please allow you a few days to get through the process. If you are in a desperate situation with no applications, then I recommend you to actively search sitters to invite to your sit. This is a function of THS, practice using it when you donât need a sitter, you can save favorite sitters too. When youâre ready to open a sit, you have a Plan B if you arenât getting many applicants that fit your needs. You can search for sitters by location with the middle level or premium membership, but not the basic one.
Hi, @kgraftenreed ; welcome to the Forums. So sorry to hear that you had a disappointing experience on this sit; thatâs a drag. Hopefully the pet(s) are all good, at least, & the house intact.
From your post, it sounds like maybe this wasnât the best fit for either of you, and/or possibly there were some misunderstandings that youâre hoping to clear up through a follow-up communication.
A few questions:
â You note the sitter left you a less-than-perfect review with some troublesome comments. Since reviews are blind, I assume there was some tension on both sides at some point. What did they feel was problematic from their end?
â You said they asked the neighbor for access to the pool, as you hadnât left the key. Had you explicitly mentioned the pool & told them the reason (ie that your HOA doesnât allow visitors access)? Iâm just wondering if they thought youâd accidentally neglected to leave it, so asked the neighbor, who maybe wasnât clear or firm in saying they wouldnât provide access. Or did you frame it more like âthe HOA requires a resident to be present with guests,â and she interpreted that to mean she could use the pool if the neighbor was there & agreed to act as her âhost.â
â It sounds as if you werenât aware that she was a full-on nomad. I know some HOs prefer sitters with a permanent address, and ask about it during the initial contact. Or was the bigger issue that she moved all her things into the house? Did she leave the house in less-than-stellar condition after the sit, or leave things behind?
It does seem like maybe the sitter was somewhat less mature than you expected, but Iâm wondering if that was exacerbated by some communication snafus. Perhaps you feel similarly, and thatâs the reason youâre hoping to reach out to them post-sit?
There are two things here. A sitter wanting to know something about the circumstances of the sit. And the host wanting to know something about the life situations of the sitter. This is why the âtransparencyâ is not applicable with the same measure on both situations.
I donât read complaints from sitters about âthe host did not tell me how much they earn per monthâ, âthe host did not tell me they have diabetesâ, âthe host did not tell me how many siblings they haveâ. All of these things could be claimed to be necessary - earnings = fanciness of house, fairness of the exchange, potential attitude towards sitter; medical conditions = the basic ingredients in the kitchen, possible medical equipment at home, being able to judge the lifestyle choices of host, being able to avoid things that the sitters believes are contagious; relatives = risk of getting surprise visitors, abilities to share things, upbringing etc.
All of these are ridiculous and far fetched but also true. Sitters donât ask for these, and that is partly because they understand it is none of their business. There is no expectation of transparency from the sitters side, apart from things that are directly related to the sitting.
From host side however, I have seen some posts (including now your comment) where hosts want information that they think is justified, but is actually private. Still, you can ask anything, and choose based on answer/no answer. That is still your right. To demand this info to be freely available, and to claim it would fall under âtransparencyâ, is a butchering of the exchange nature of THS.
So do I. But thereâs a key difference between sitters and HOs here:
HOs publish a listing that should be as transparent as possible regarding the requirements of the sit and thatâs in everyoneâs interest.
Sitters apply to sits they like; itâs up to HOs to ask questions which are relevant for them. Thatâs also in everyoneâs interest because it helps to make good matches. A sitter can decide if theyâre willing to answer those questions or not but they should be honest too (transparent, if you prefer that term)