Need help to write my review

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

Hello !

I’m a new sitter, on my second sit. The first was excellent, and now I’m a few days into the second (and here for several weeks) and… it did not start well. Now, before I explain the situation and ask for advice on my future review, please keep in mind that I already know I should have been paying more attention to the house and be more reserved about it. I read it several times on this forum : if it’s cluttered since the beginning, don’t hope it will be much better later. And taking a sit without any review (they were new on THS, they’ve been open about it) is probably not for me right now. Lesson learned :wink: At least, and you’ll see that down in my post, the HO’s are taking responsability for the situation.

So, here is the story :

We did have a videochat and I visited them in person a few months ago when I was in the area, before accepting the sit. I saw that the house was not very clean and a bit cluttered, but that appeared manageable. When I arrived a few days ago, it was a nightmare : clutter and things absolutely everywhere, dirty dished in the sink and dishwasher, dirty washing machine, pieces of things and dry trash (papers, foil…) on the floor (mostly carpets…), unclean and sticky surfaces, clothes (clean and dirty ones) forgotten in the living room and bathroom, the outside garbage bin half full (they are emptied only twice a month, and last time was just before I arrived !)… No crawlies or rotten food, but this was overwhelming and would have required days of intensive cleaning, which I’m not able to do.
I considered calling THS to plan my departure, but before I could make the decision (I was mostly exhausted and frozen in shock) the HO apologized profusely (I stayed polite and respectful all along and they said they were grateful for my reaction) and immediately offered to pay for a professional cleaner. They found a company who came the same day and did an excellent job (they’ll come back again once or twice this week to finish the job) so I can now clean myself and eat in a better environnement. I also took away several big pieces of clutter to store them in a side room, I will easily put them back in place before leaving. It’s still difficult to feel relaxed yet, but the pets are really lovely and easy to care for, I love the area and once the house will be fully cleaned, that should be OK (despite maintenance with their teeny tiny vacuum cleaner is… challenging !)

I am here now because I did read several topics and I’ve seen some great advice on how to leave a review for this kind of sit, and I’d really like your help on this :slight_smile:

I cannot imagine not mentioning the cleaning situation to warn future sitters, I cannot put anybody in this situation, and I would not return, but I also don’t want to be rude or too hard on the HO’s because I’m convinced they did their best. They’re not dishonest, only overwhelmed by the care of their home and pets… I also have no reason to fear retaliation on their part if I tell the truth, but I would like to find a good balance…

I have written 2 options, I’m not completely satisfied with any of them :

  1. The pets were absolutely lovely and very easy to care for, and the neighborhood was pleasant, with everything I needed within walking distance. Communication with X was warm and honest, and she responded quickly to any request, despite being several time zones away. When I let her know that the state of the house on arrival didn’t meet the usual THS standards, she arranged for a cleaning service promptly, which I really appreciated. That said, the initial cleanliness of the home was a real issue (dirty floors, fridge, dishes, clutter everywhere…) and was impossible to manage alone. I don’t want to be too hard, I know they’re good people who really did their best to welcome me into their home, but a professional cleaning must definitely be done considered before any future sit.

  2. The pets were absolutely lovely and very easy to care for, and the neighborhood was quiet and pleasant, with all essentials nearby. However, I cannot recommend this sit.
    The house was not clean at all on arri val — with dirty floors, fridge, and surfaces — and required immediate professional intervention. Although the host responded immediately and offered to hire a cleaner (she did find one who came the same day and did and excellent job) this level of unpreparedness was impossible to manage alone, especially after a long journey.
    I really appreciated the host’s warm communication and efforts to resolve the issue, but based on my experience, I would not be comfortable returning to this home.

Thank you for reading my looooong post, and thanks a lot in advance for your precious help ! :slight_smile:

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2

I would go for option 1 but end it after “she arranged for a cleaning service promptly, which I really appreciated” and change “didn’t meet the usual THS standards” to “fell far short of the usual THS standards (dirty floors, fridge and surfaces)”. That’s factual and tells future sitters all they need to know.

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3

I’d be a bit nicer as they knew it wasn’t okay, apologised and arranged a cleaner (although they should have arranged that sooner).

“The home owners acknowledged that the house was considerably below the THS standard of cleanliness when I arrived, apologised and managed to arrange for professional cleaners to attend later that day”.

It gives sitters the heads up about the condition and that they had not planned ahead for your arrival, without beating them up for something they fixed quickly.

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4

I also vote for #1 and feel that you are being far too nice!

Sorry but I completely disagree with @UKSITTER1 —no need to be nice, just facts, even if the truth hurts.

There are 2 different things:

Dirty

and

Cluttered

Some people have very clean but cluttered homes. Clutter is subjective. Some people like to have lots of stuff in their homes. It can make it feel cozier, but for those who do not like clutter, it can feel dizzying. Anyway, clutter is not inherently 100% bad.

Dirty is just wrong, when inviting a sitter into your home. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Not nice at all.

Thank you for leaving an honest review. Nobody should have to endure that.

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5

You don’t say that you told them outright that their messy house was unacceptable. Did they just realise from your expression that you were stunned by the condition of the house? You should write that you were shocked by the clutter and uncleanliness of the house upon arrival. The HOs registered your reaction, apologised and arranged for professional cleaners to come the same day. I would not say more than that on the subject. Future sitters are alerted to their obliviousness and the HOs will hopefully be shocked into getting cleaners in ON A REGULAR BASIS. But you should of course dock stars for cleanliness.

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6

Thanks so much for your answers !

@PVGemini you’re pointing something interesting that I didn’t consider this way : I’m not a native English speaker and there are still some subtilities that I can miss. When I say “clutter” in my mind it’s exclusively to describe a suffocating place with an insane lot of objects and a good amount of rubbish (like broken things, discarded papers…). I didn’t think at what you’re describing (a cosy and clean cluttered home) and though I don’t like that in my own home (I need space) I would never blame a owner for that (I would not dock stars or mention it in my review if it’s clean and livable). So just to be clear : when I said clutter in my first post, I meant rubbish and difficulties to circulate in the home, not the cosy version.

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7

I think they somehow knew there would be a problem but just couldn’t take care of it beforehand… At first just asked them if I could tidy a bit (I was exhausted, trying to think about what to do, I had just arrived a few minutes ago…) and one of them (who left the home before the other person) messaged me privately about it, apologizing in advance if the home was not clean and offering the cleaning services.

8

To me a problem being solved so quickly goes a long a way in mitigating. It really becomes a lesson learned for the homeowners.

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9

I appreciate your sharing your reviews and questions!
It helps me to articulate questions and issues. and to think about taking care myself, meeting the HO pet needs and being an aware and supportive member of THS community.

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10

Hi @travelflower,

Welcome to the forum.

I like @Alicatorze suggestion.

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11

Your description actually sounds like a term we use in the United States called “hoarding.” Hoarding is extreme clutter and usually unclean/unsanitary conditions at the same time.

Hoarding is defined as “persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions, regardless of their actual value.”

It is hard to know if these hosts had a hoarding problem or were just really messy people, but you used the word “suffocating,” and that level of clutter leads me to believe that this could be “hoarding.”

I only say this to teach, as you mentioned that English is not your first language.

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12

I would use option 2 but remove the second sentence as it is obvious that you wouldn’t recommend the sit. There is no excuse for them leaving their home like that for you.

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13

In my opinion, option 2 insists too much on the negatives and can backfire. Number 1 offers all the information a sitter needs to decide whether that sit is suitable for them.
There are all sorts of sitters as there are all sorts of HOs and THS is about making good matches.

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14

Thank you, I really appreciate your insight and I’m always happy to learn ! :slight_smile:

I think you’re right, this is closer to hoarding : not extreme, but definitely more than “simple” clutter.

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15

First of all - it is clear that this is a breach of THS terms. A member that knowingly is in breach of terms and is putting another fellow member in a difficult situation is not nice. If it was so easy to get a cleaner to help, that could be done before your arrival. And should be done before you came.

A factual description is never wrong, and then it would be up to the next sitter whether that is something they want to do or not. Our community relies on reviews. I am sure you would have liked to know before your sit, if there were reviews. It could also be so that a host has indeed had a sitter, but they chose not to leave a review. Members that do that will knowingly put others in situations that they themselves didn’t care for. That is not nice, either.

I found good things in both your drafts, really. I thought perhaps something like;

The pets were absolutely lovely and very easy to care for, and the neighborhood was quiet and pleasant, with all essentials within walking distance. Communication with host was good, which I appreciated.

It could be useful to know that the state of the house upon arrival was not as expected. The home was quite cluttered and with dirty dishes, floors, and surfaces that required immediate attention. This was overwhelming and would have been difficult to manage alone. When adressed the host was quick to take responsibility and arranged for a professional cleaning service the same day, which made a significant improvement.

While I understand that life can get busy and overwhelming, I think it’s important for future sitters to know this, and I would recommend that the host consider scheduling a thorough cleaning before future sits to ensure a smoother experience for both the sitter and the pets.

Despite the initial challenges, the pets were wonderful, and the area was lovely. I’m grateful for the host’s efforts to resolve the situation.

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16

I’m actually a little surprised by how negative some of the responses here are. Since they jumped to get it fixed so quickly – even before you had necessarily said anything about it – and since they’re making sure it’s taken care of so completely (with multiple cleaning visits), I would not make a big thing of it in my review, personally. I would probably just say something like “They were unable to clean the house well before my arrival but resolved the issue quickly by hiring cleaners on my first day.”

But that’s just me.

Edit: Whoops! didn’t mean to reply to @Marion there! :sweat_smile:

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17

@travelflower You mentioned you had visited this owner before confirming the sit and it was cluttered and not very clean. I’m assuming perhaps you didn’t raise your concerns then which would have been the appropriate time. Instead the owner may have thought all was okay after you had visited and agreed to the sit.
What you faced on arrival at the sit is not acceptable but it may have been avoidable after your pre-confirmation visit. I’m just pleased for you that the owners quickly organised a cleaner as there would be others who would not have.

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18

Thanks everybody for your kind help and your support ! I’m not used to share my experience like this with strangers, but I’m starting to really appreciate what the THS community can offer :slight_smile:

I will take time, in the coming weeks, to think about all this and prepare my review for the end of the sit, and I’ll come back here (if anybody wants to give more advice in the meantime, I will read them !). Honestly, now that the home is clean (final visit from the cleaners yesterday, they were wonderful) I feel way more relaxed, even the pets seem more relaxed (they were nice and well behaved since the beginning, but all those changes in such a short time did upset them a bit). I am currently more inclined to mention the situation briefly in my review and tell that it’s been quickly and responsably managed. I really feel that the owners have learned their lesson about THS standards, and so did I (this sit will be nice, but it’s also a great occasion to be more attentive, redefine a bit what I want, and communicate my needs better).

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19

Wow I’m a homeowner and can’t imagine having someone stay at my home before a good cleaning.

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20

My suggestion to everyone on this forum is to pretend you’re a journalist when you’re writing a review. Just state the facts.

Don’t say the house was dirty, because that’s subjective. State that there were dirty dishes in the sink and in the dishwasher and trash on the floors. Those are facts and the reader can draw their own conclusions.

The homeowners arranged a cleaning service AFTER you arrived. That’s an important detail, and a fact. That detail says a lot without you having to interpret it.

Describe the situation and the details speak loud and clear.