Hello, it’s my first time using Trusted Housesitters. I leave in six days for three weeks. The initial phone interview with the confirmed sitter went fine. We connected well and her references from past owners seem good. We’ve been texting about various details but a few asks are raising some concerns. She’s asked if she could use my car (I said yes), if she could arrive a few days early (I said yes to a day early so we have some overlap time), and whether she can use my computer (I said no). Wondering if all of this is normal?
No I don’t think it’s normal. All of the above should have been discussed well before confirmation.
I would also lay down some ground rules re mileage, insurance and what is available for use in your home so that you are not taken advantage of.
I would be interested to know if they have previous reviews.
Hi @petmomof2 
Welcome to the forum.
From our perspective as full-time sitters for 14+ years and 155+ sits, none of the requests would automatically raise red flags.
We’ve had homeowners offer vehicle use and we’ve occasionally arrived a day or two early when it suited both parties. Those sorts of arrangements are usually discussed after confirmation, once everyone starts working through the practical details of the sit.
The request to use your computer is less common. Most sitters travel with their own laptops, tablets or phones, so it’s perfectly reasonable to decline if you’re not comfortable with that.
For us, the important thing isn’t that the sitter asked - it’s how they responded to your answer. A good sitter should feel comfortable asking questions and a good homeowner should feel comfortable saying yes or no. If your sitter accepted your decisions without pressure and your conversations have otherwise been positive, I wouldn’t view these requests alone as cause for concern.
Each to their own, but I would NEVER let a sitter use my car, I don’t even let family use it. I only do sits that I can drive to or get to by public transport.
Also, I can think of no reason at all for someone to want to use your computer, surely everyone has their own phone with internet on it these days?.
I really hope this sit works out for you, but my alarm bells are already ringing.
Sorry but the sitter sees to be pushing the envelope and comes across as a tad entitled. I would only agree with things that you feel totally comfortable with but also push back and set boundaries. It’s a mutually agreeable relationship and not a "retrospective " relationship.
All of these things should be discussed before confirming the sit. Especially use of car and overlap days. For me that would be standard. E.g for a recent 3 month/2 sits trip to Australia both car use and overlap days were an important part of our duscussion/negotiation during the calls -before confirming, with fine tuning of details done later. We needed to plan our flights etc and we knew we’d need a car there, and we’re not willing to rent for 3 months, so it was essential to clarify all this in advance. I have never asked to use an HOs computer- that does not feel appropriate -but we have a couple of times been offered use of a computer.
On their own they’re all reasonable asks. All three seems demanding though and you’ve said yes to two already. I had to ask a host if I could use her computer for a Swiss sit as my laptop was lost in a plane en route so it does happen. (I can’t do spreadsheets on a phone for love nor money!) She set me up with my own log in so her files were secure. Do whatever you’re comfortable with & push back if not. #mutualexchange
This is your first sit and I would have red flags with her. First she wants to arrive a few days early. Does that work for you? Will she be helping with pets on those days? Did you discuss that or does she just want to sightsee on those days. That would not be OK with me. Does she expect to use your car on the days you overlap. If coming early you should put in place that her pet duties start the day she arrives. What about sharing the kitchen those days you are there. Will that be a problem for you? Also put her on your insurance in case of accident. One host didn’t and was not reimbursed by a sitter who was in an accident. I would check out her driving record. Is she from the same country and knows driving laws where you are. What would concern me she may ask to stay past the days she is supposed to leave. Ask her if she has plane tickets to leave the day you return home. Does she have good reviews from other hosts. She sounds pushy to me and if you’re not comfortable don’t go ahead with it.
If your location makes having a vehicle necessary, it’s common for hosts to offer use of a vehicle. It’s equally common that hosts do not offer. In that case, it’s reasonable for a sitter to ask if a vehicle might be available. Hosts may or may not agree. Either response is reasonable and gets sorted out from there between host and sitter. So the vehicle ask is not a red flag.
Arriving 1 day early is common and useful for a smooth handover. Asking to arrive a few days early is unusual and starts to raise some questions. What do they say is their reason for wanting to arrive so early? A traveling sitter might be looking to bridge between sits without incurring hotel or Airbnb expenses. That’s a common sitter goal that raises little concern if they’re combining sitting, remote work and traveling. I would be much more concerned if a sitter is local and wants to arrive days early. That is something I’d consider a red flag requiring further investigation/clarification for my peace of mind.
The computer ask is odd. Remote workers and traveling sitters are usually well equipped with digital gear. That your sitter isn’t raises concerns about where they’re at in life and whether that’s compatible with your situation.
The fact that you’re raising these questions suggests you’re already unsettled about this particular sitter. Unease is a very strong reason to move on. Unfortunately, you haven’t left yourself much time to sort things out.
To me traveling is a privilege. If you can’t afford to pay your own way in between sits, stay home. As a new host you do know that sitters provide their own food. Be clear what can be used in your home. Most hosts provide cooking oils, seasoning and food left in frig that is perishable. Some hosts provide more but be clear and comfortable with your offerings. My last host told me to eat anything in the house I wanted. I didn’t eat anything of hers and prefer to buy my own foods. It was a nice offer but I would have much rather been left freezer space and there was none. That upset me and had to spend time shopping more for things I could have put in freezer.
Sitter profiles have a “Reviews” link that should take you to a date ordered list of past sits with Verified Reviews by past hosts. It is Verified Reviews that you as a host want to examine closely. Hosts (and sitters) tend to review generously so you want to (and usually do) see very positive reviews from all hosts. If there is a small percentage of reviews that aren’t glowing, you want to look closely at the reviews by both host and sitter along with their responses. Reading between the lines is necessary. Multiple Verified Reviews that “seem good” fall well short of the standard expected.
Worse than Verified Reviews that “seem good” are References that “seem good”. References are found at the tail end of the Verified Reviews. If there are no or few Verified Reviews, References have often been mistaken for being a Review but are very much not. References are a starting point where new sitters have friends, family (or themselves under a pseudonym) write something with a very positive spin about the sitter. A Reference that “seems good” is a very bad reference.
these should have been discussed when she was applying. Not now. I wouldn’t even let a house sitter use the car unless the insurance was ok with it and I would maybe even write up a contract for her to drive it.
I personally think you are misunderstanding the point of this. The home owner is not offering any of these. These should have been asked during the video call, not 6 days before the house sit starts, where as a home owner you feel more inclined to say yes, because otherwise you are stuck in between a rock and a hard place looking for a replacement sitter.
I would make sure that everything is well documented and even write some sort of agreement for the car. I know to many bad drivers to trust anyone with my car.
Specially someone I only have been in contact over the internet. Check drivers license, check your personal insurance. I have written a makeshift car use agreenment on my website but I am not going to promote it, I think you could chatGPT something in this case which would be just as good.
My question is, what other issues were not discussed earlier? Did you address frequency of updates, what your pets are allowed to do, what food she can have (if any), what room she’ll be staying in, whether or not she can drink any alcohol you have, cleaning expectations,…
I hope you’re not hit with any more surprises. Anyway, hope all goes as well as you anticipate.
The car, why not if she has a valid licence in your country if you precise you need to ask your insurer. Who will charge you.
Must check the cost ( in case of issue who will pay for the repair, for the potential malus ?
Computer ? No. Much too private. A problem if she faces any issue.
I made a mistake once ( swapping homes, 20 years ago) and deleted all mails… the owner was furious i felt miserable…
Computers are not that expensive, very strange your sitter foes not iwn a basic laptop or even a tablette…
Your sitter sounds like a nomad if she wants to stay ahead. To fill up a gap ?
If the sitter is also new, and they only have References NOT THS Reviews, they might’ve only recently thought of these things to make life easier. Say Yes/No and gauge their reaction, if you’ve only recently sent the Welcome Guide it might’ve prompted them to ask to use your car if you specified taking dogs to distant parks/beaches etc. In any case a car is useful in case the pets need to go to your local Vet. If your house has a studio flat or annexe did this prompt their question maybe?
I’d say a definite NO to use of a personal computer, think malware, viruses, privacy etc unless you can set up a separate profile but even then it’s a NO.
New HO plus new sitter can cause hiccups, but good communication and setting clear boundaries might overcome this.
The ask about early arrival and car, ok. The computer is weird. No one offers their computers these days as there is too much personal and financial information on it. If there is a public library nearby, many of them offer computer use so I would send them there.
Say yes or no as you like, but I would make sure their is a very strong password on the computer!
Seems like a weird dynamic to have sit duties start the day she arrives. I’ve been asking to come a day early by HOs, but my pet duties definitely don’t begin until they leave (beyond observing their routine). I’d feel weird and like “the help” if they wanted me to start caretaking while they’re still at home.
Thank you!
Thank You!