I don’t think we can be so strict for a free and voluntary service where sitters are paying members.
I am a petsitter for locations to visit. I don’t do it because I primarily want to look after the animals of a stranger if we get down to the core of my membership. I have a dog myself, which I could be with, also. Or I could volunteer in a local shelter or do Rover - earning money instead if spending them. Walking the dogs of neighbors etc. I don’t do that. I signed up at THS to allow me to travel (more) to more locations and live like a local.
Ultimately I choose petsitting and locations because they are convenient spots for me to do stuff. Pets are icing of the cake - but only if the tasks involved allow me to do my stuff. In that is the good match I’m looking for.
I think a good portion sitters do pick sits explicitly because they would visit family or friends. I’ve seen also on forum that members are oriented towards locations where they have close ones. Some of these locations have a host-sitter ratio in favor of sitters. To exclude sitters because they know somebody nearby is not the best idea. Particularly for longer sits.
That is not necessarily a problem - it could also be the reason which gives a host applicants.
I don’t think it’s helpful here to discuss whether hosts “should” allow visitors. Hosts can have whatever rules around it and they’ll either get sitters or not. It’s just about communication - HO being clear about what is/isn’t ok and sitters being upfront about wanting to have visitors before committing to the sit. But this host was clear with this sitter, and the sitter went against the agreement, and it sounds like it happened right off the bat.
Not sure what to say to OP about the remainder of the sit, because it’s likely uncomfortable for both sitter and HO now. There have been good suggestions about how to make the no visitors policy more prominent on the profile to discourage sitters from even applying if that is part of their plans in the location.
Anecdotally - I’ve had several sitters with either ties to someone locally or a partner who isn’t coming to the sit. I’ve been fine with visits and no one has ever taken me up on it. There are lots of sitters out there who do not want or need to bring others to the home they are sitting in.
I reluctantly agreed to him coming for dinner a couple of times when she asked during our in person phone call. I am sure she agrees that it makes no difference if it’s dinner that turns into overnight that turns into 24 hours. Also it doesn’t matter why I don’t like it. In the future I will say NO guests.
Most hosts I have sat for, have offered an additional bed in case I planned to have a guest or suggested having a friend over to enjoy the view/amenities. I’ve only taken them up on the overnight guest once, but when I’ve had someone over, even for a brief visit, I always let the HO know.
I have seen a listing in Hawaii in which the owner has multiple specifications to filter the types of people who apply.
This owner has either been burned in the past, or she is really, really smart! (or both…)
She specifically wants a couple over 40 years old, who are from the US mainland, and they must own their own home.
For her, this weeds out a lot of riffraff.
A huge, gorgeous home near downtown Portland, Oregon, with only a cat, should be able to attract some really great sitters.
You can decline all sitters who don’t fit your criteria, and unpause your listing, and get more applicants, and repeat until you get applicants who appeal to you. Don’t feel bad about your rules. It’s your house.
It’s your home and your rules, but sitters don’t sign a celibacy pledge and are travelling, so if you need them to be home, there needs to be some balance with their having a normal life. It’s one thing for a sitter to be bringing in strangers. It’s another for them to be inviting someone with whom they are in a relationship to dinner – especially when they can’t really leave for extended periods due to pet responsibilities. And it’s totally something else to classify having a boyfriend stay over as a “cheap place to hook up.”
You can make your rules clearer, but you can also invite couples, or sitters who are travelling with a partner, even if the partner isn’t listed in their profile as a secondary sitter. You can ask for a linked in or some guest approval or even to meet with potential guests in advance online. Your home! Your rules.
I sometimes bring my spouse on sits. He can’t always make it for the full time as his work isn’t fully remote. I offer his linked in and more in my applications. You’d probably reject us outright and that would be fine!
Given that you gave person permission for dinner but NOT for sleeping over it feels like the sitter might find this a tad intrusive. Was there a specific curfew? Did you limit it to most stay in the living room and no funny business in the bedroom?
In the situation you describe, if the sitter was pushing for boyfriend visits, and it wasn’t going work for you, you should have gone with someone else. But a similar solution would have been to ask to meet the boyfriend online for a chat and/or to ask to see his linked in or some kind of bonafides as you don’t want strangers in your home. You could also ask the sitter to add him to her account as “accompanying” even if he wasn’t there full time.
I’m a homeowner who also sits. I understand not wanting random strangers in your home, but what you describe isn’t that. I’m pretty frank in asking single sitters if they plan on having anyone else in my home and I make it clear that I need to know before I confirm them. I make it clear that no “dinner” guests without discussing it with me as I don’t want anyone stupidly opening a window or smoking or doing any other stuff against my houserules. I make it clear that no overnight guests without prior approval for the same reasons.
For us, yes. We get to know a sitter and get their ID. Having someone else we’ve never met nor IDed is BAAAD. Bad enough that we don’t have any interest in local sitters.
« 5.3.10. not allow any other person(s) to participate in the sit unless they have been approved in writing by the Pet Parent ;»
Seems the OP doesn’t want them to ask or like to:
«How do I make it clear that I don’t want a sitter who is going to invite guests? My last 4 sitters have wanted to invite guests over. I tell them no, and they still ask me in person. Awkward!»
Asking to have guests is not covered in the terms. If you don’t want people to ask, mention it in listing.
I really don’t think anybody ( sitter or HO) needs to explain why they are not comfortable with a situation ( having guests, sleeping with dogs, looking after snakes or whatever…) All we need to do is keep our end of the deal.
100% this, imo. Most sits it’s just me hanging out with the pets on my own; some sits are because I have friends or relatives nearby. It’s nicer for me if they can stop by & share a meal or a coffee at the house as then I don’t have to leave the pet(s) to go out, but that’s up to the HO’s preference & whatever we agreed before the sit.
If something ever comes up that I didn’t anticipate, I might politely ask — and respect the HO’s decision whatever it is. It’s their home/their pets, & I signed up for the terms they defined before the sit.
Update: I told her it’s not a good fit, sorry for the misunderstanding about guests, and she needed to check out.
Her guest/boyfriend was there 24/7. He was there when she wasn’t. I would have been ok with a guest stopping by a few times.
She started to become rude and condescending in her text messages. I don’t know why she doesn’t advertise with him as being a couple that house sits? Also, she said she’s been doing it this way for 9 years and it hasn’t been a problem. I guess I’m the only one with a camera who has called her out on it.
Not sure where to go from here with the ratings. I have to give her a 1 star over this. It’s been very stressful, to say the least. Not only have I had to ask her to leave, I have to scramble to find someone to watch our cat. I think she is also going to rate me unfairly/poorly because I wasn’t clear enough about my guest policy. Honestly I didn’t think I had to be as it’s written in the terms of service.