If it was him, he just did that very thing - came over, unannounced, when he felt like it. That’s not o.k., and there shouldn’t be a second time.
I agree with everyone who has said to contact THS, in addition to telling the owners this is not acceptable. What you said to the owners before doesn’t matter.
Don’t let being unable to afford a hotel make you feel like you have no other option than to stay in a situation you’re very clearly not comfortable with.
You said you drove 2.5 hours to get there. Is that how far away you are from where you live? Going back home is one option, regardless of what time it is. Finding a safe place to sleep in your car for the night before driving back home is another option, if you’re not comfortable staying where you are. I’ve never stayed at a hostel so I don’t know how they operate, but are there any hostels in the area you’re in, and do you need a reservation or can you just show up and get a bed, if there are any available? Those options may not be options that appeal to you, but they are options.
I hope you will use this experience make a backup plan or two for situations where you’ll need to leave a sit that you’re not comfortable with, and keep a “hotel fund” set aside to cover a night or two at a hotel, just in case (that’s what I’ve done). There is no reason to tolerate any situation on a house sit that leaves you feeling stressed and uneasy. Ever.
@Roses1 even if the knock at the door was not the son - clearly this situation is making you feel uncomfortable , stressed and unable to relax during your sit.
Meanwhile homeowner is no doubt enjoying their holiday blissfully unaware of the stress this is causing you so you do need to communicate with them .
I would suggest that you get back in touch with the homeowner, it may be simply an oversight on their part and maybe they not aware of the third party policy - so either point it out to them yourself or if you are not comfortable with that you can ask member support to do so .
If you feel that you are happy with the son coming over once a week at a pre agreed time - then you can say to the homeowner that as you have not yet heard from the son you assume that they will not be coming over to use the computer or saying that if they are planning to come you need at lease 48 hours notice ( or whatever you are comfortable with ).
All the best , I hope that you can sort this out and enjoy the rest of the sit .
Oh, we have had a sit where the Adult Son got all his Mail and Packages delivered to the HO (Parents) house, he would turn up randomly, sometimes when we were out, he had a key, I gently got his Whatapp and made a Joke that our Teen Son often wanders around in his Undies and I will WhatsApp him when mail/parcels have arrived and could he send me a quick message when he was coming over. We had the Other Son come on Sundays to clean out the Fish Pond filters (We could have been shown how to do this, however I think the HO thought with us already having 4 doggies to look after, they’d get the Son)
We have had another where the HO’s Daughter and Partner decided they wanted to use the Convertable for their Holiday so turned up, walked in with no thought, got drinks, raided the pantry, drinks fridge etc, had Showers, they just didn’t think about it at all.
We had another where the MIL would pop round??? she lived in the Village had her own Dog, I ended up inviting her to Dinner as I think they were worried about the 3 Dogs? IDK but she didn’t come back around after that, we had a good chat about HS etc, the family etc etc, I think she sent them a message to say “the House and Dogs are fine, I’ve had a lovely meal with them, I am going to get on with my own life now”
There’s been quite a few other instances, it is unsettling and I don’t think the HO understands that we might not want their family and friends popping in or the Neighbours, I’m okay with it as long as I know when etc, I am not okay at home with people turning up unexpected, ppl know you make arrangements with me, send a message and see if i’m in, not just start ringing the door bell.
When we have HS with Cleaners, Gardeners etc I ask for their details and mobile number and will often touch base with them on when they’re coming so we can plan to go out or be out of the way.
If you know well in advance you can decide if you want to go ahead, however when they spring it on you in the hand written notes at hand over or a day or so before when you touch base to confirm it’s all still going ahead, I wouldn’t cancel however I do feel annoyed. It would like me saying “oh, my Gran is going to come and have some meals with us” if they have said they don’t want visitors.
Happy sitting x
I agree with you, about not waiting for things to play out. It’s never wise to stay in any situation you’re not comfortable in.
However, agreeing to one thing does not automatically mean agreeing to anything else over and above what was specifically agreed to. If something went wrong, it would be totally and completely on the son and his parents, IMO.
People are responsible for their own behavior. Owners who authorize others to come into their home when they aren’t there to supervise are fully aware of the possibility that unexpected problems could arise. That has ZERO to do with the sitter.
Sitters MUST make sure to let owners know that they are not there to control, police, supervise, or manage anyone the owners authorize to be in/at the home when they’re away, and are not responsible for problems that may occur as a result of the actions of other people, in addition to reminding them of what THS policy regarding having others in the home is.