Sitters having guests stay without asking

Hi there

We have a sitter currently and they keep having men come to our house. Freaking out as we weren’t asked. We are totally ok with a friend she had asked us if they could join her for a few days but we are very uncomfortable with total strangers in our home that we haven’t been told about. Advice appreciated :hugs:


That’s not right. Anyone who’s a guest in someone’s home shouldn’t be inviting people over without having asked whether that was OK.

How do you know they’re having others over?

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How do you know this is happening? I think your two options are to raise it with the sitter or decide to let it go. I’d mention it over text especially if you know because of e.g. a ring doorbell you mentioned to the sitter. Could it be that they assumed because you were ok with the friend staying you’d be fine with anyone? I’d raise it in a friendly way initially.

Our neighbours have witnessed a male coming to our home. His car is currently in our driveway we can see it from our security camera.

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Yes we have a ring doorbell that sitter is aware of. I have just messaged asking if they have a visitor. We are just stressed as this is our home and we are not close if they get angry for whatever reason and decide to leave early.

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According to your initial post there has been a series of male strangers coming to the house? And so it is not just one man who may be the friend you approved of? I am a bit surprised she would be so blatant about it knowing you have external cameras. . . . I am glad to hear you have texted her - as an unapproved guest should definitely not be entering your home. Perhaps, it is just a misunderstanding on her part.

Hopefully it does not come to this, but If she does take offence at your reasonable question, then it would probably be in your best interests that she leave, anyway - and you can action your Plan B . . . . Perhaps get neighbours, friends, local paid services, to step in and help with your pets.


Well done for texting her! I try hard not to take my preferred third route of saying nothing and quietly getting more angry/panicked. Its bad behaviour on her part for sure. No one wants strangers in their house.


Ask her if she knows it’s against Ts&C’s.


I see posts like this here every once in awhile and I get surprised every time. I don’t understand how any sitter can have anyone over without asking permission first.


Completely unacceptable for any visitors to enter your home without your permission.

I’d contact THS and also the sitter and make it clear that this is unacceptable. I’d be livid at random strangers being in my home without my permission.


Thank you makes me feel less crazy for being angry. We heard her say she has met peeps at all her sits so I think this is common for her & maybe other owners unaware or unbothered but our home is not a tinder hook up place :flushed: I will contact THS today.


I can’t find it in T & Cs only not allowed to have unapproved peeps on sit with them… but will email support anyhow.

Our neighbours have told us and we have a ring doorbell that we had told her about.

That is not acceptable for a sitter to be doing that. You are completely justified in feeling the way you do.

As others have quite rightly said, this very much goes against the THS policy. It was very generous of you to allow a friend but it seems this person is exploiting the situation somewhat.


I think the “visitor” rules are the prerogative of the owner and perhaps should be on the check list to be addressed before confirming a sit. We have been on at least 2 sits where the owner expected we would have visitors. In fact, in a one bedroom sit in Brighton, England the owner suddenly announced before departure “if you are having anyone over to stay get a mattress protector out and put it on the sofa.” That surprised me (we didn’t have anyone). I always ask and on occasions have had the owner surprised I did ask, it was a given. Some owners are happy for you to treat the home as your own, while others do not. It’s a tricky one. We have had dozens of sitters for us in New Zealand (on another site), so understand. For me it isn’t about the sit, it is about rapport and relationship built. If I cannot meet the owner I suggest a zoom, to get to know each other. The sitter isn’t being paid, and needs flexibility… I can’t see a hard and fast rule here…communication, communication communication. :slight_smile:

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A Sitter should not be having guests without permission from the hosts.

All but one of our sits have told us we could have guests over for coffee / a meal, several suggested we could have guests to stay over ( we haven’t taken them up on the offer but may do in the future) These we’re mostly long sits - so the owners understood that we might like to see friends during our stay

We have a future sit where they specify in the welcome guide that sitters can have guests but the hosts want to know in advance .


I’m going thru this now. I want to say something but do not want any repercussions. How did you handle it?

I’m a sitter and I would never dream of having a guest unless approved by the HO. It’s a huge breach of trust.

If you have sufficient evidence, i.e the ring camera I would send a polite message saying you’d noticed guests which hadn’t been discussed and were concerned about having unknown people in your house. Any reasonable person should be understanding of that. If the sitter reacts badly contact THS.

I find this really frustrating as I think sometimes I don’t get responses for sits because people find young singles off-putting for this reason, but I’m not the most respectful and communicative sitter so people like this ruin it for everyone.

  • Do not invite anyone else into the owner’s home without prior permission from the owner. If this has been agreed, remember that your guests respect the home and pet(s) that you are caring for and that you are responsible for your guest(s) good behaviour and for ensuring that they behaving in accordance with your agreement with the home owner.
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I put in a complaint and it was looked into. The sitter sent me some awful messages following but she is still on here apparently with a warning. I did an honest review but it didn’t go through for some reason…

I’m a bit wary now about sitters - haven’t been away since, although I know not everyone has ill intentions we were just unlucky as it was our first sit :cry: