Sharing an issue I had on a sit--Issue was resolved but wanted validation and feedback on how I might have better handled it

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
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As the title says, I had a hiccup while on a housesit that has been resolved, but I wanted to share anyway for feedback and–if I"m being honest–also for validation and sympathy LMAO!

This was the first of 17 previous sits I’ve taken where the owner had less than perfect reviews. I’m very diligent about “vetting” owners, reading the reviews carefully (and “between the lines”), looking on the app for sitters that didn’t leave reviews at all, etc etc.

In this case there were two recent reviews where the sitter left fairly harsh negative feedback regarding the cleanliness of the home. However, all other reviews going back for several years prior were positive. The owner addressed this issue in his listing, stating that he now has a housecleaner that comes regularly, and he replaced all old bedding and rugs recently. He’s an older gentleman, and I empathized with the fact that it’s gotten harder for him to keep up with the housework lately. Even the negative reviews stated that he is a very nice guy, which he is. I have a soft spot for elderly pet loving guys.

Long story short, I took the sit knowing it might not be the cleanest because of the awesome location that my husband and I have wanted to experience, and the willingness of the owner to remedy the past issues. It’s within 40 minutes of where I live and even closer to my husband’s place of work, and we figured it would be a nice getaway for us.

As expected, the home was very far below my standards of clean when I arrived, but I white-knuckled it, knowing relief would be very soon in the form of a nice professional cleaner. . Honestly, it was far more cluttered and disorganized than it was dirty, and I had doubts that the cleaner was going to help much with de-cluttering at all. Regardless, the housecleaner was scheduled to come the day after I arrived, between 11am and 1pm, and would take about an hour and a half.

Fast forward to the next day. 11 am, 12 noon, 1pm came and went, with no cleaner having arrived yet. Owner needed me to be there to let her in (and wanted me to stay on the premises while she cleaned as well), so any other activities or outings were hinging on this being out of the way.

At 1:30 I texted h/o to inquire if the cleaner was still expected to come. He quickly answered me saying he checked with his daughter (who lives nearby and who is the one who referred him to the cleaner),and daughter says the cleaner will be there within a half hour. Okay fine, that would be 2pm, and I figured I could at least walk around the neighborhood while she cleaned.

I’m the type who has to “clean for the cleaner”, and I’d packed up all of own dry food out of her way, and hadn’t eaten the whole day because I kept thinking she’d be at the door any minute.

2 pm comes and goes, as does 3 and 3:30 pm. Still no cleaner, and by that point I was getting quite annoyed. The owner was across the country in a different time zone, and he had left me his daughters phone number so I figured rather than bother him again I’d directly text his daughter, which I did at 4pm.

I told her the cleaner was supposed to be there between 11 and 1, after I inquired it was pushed back to 2pm, but it was 4 and she still hadn’t arrived, and could she please reschedule the cleaning as I had been waiting all day and hadn’t eaten.

Daughter texts me back saying basically she’s so sorry, the cleaner is running late but should be there by 5pm FOR SURE. She said the cleaner doesn’t speak English so she can’t communicate with her directly in order to reschedule, she has to go through her husband to communicate, and her husband wasn’t available at the moment. BUT, she said, “You can go out to eat, I’ll let her in the house”.

Meanwhile, I hadn’t intended to GO OUT to eat, I wanted to prepare food I had brought with me and eat it there. By that point I was so frustrated and had to be careful with the sharpness of my texts. I was so hungry and annoyed, and I basically debated what I should do for over an hour. At 5:15 I texted the daughter again, saying “I know this isn’t your fault. But it’s 5:15 now, at 4 you promised she’d be here by 5 and she’s still not here. What’s going on?”

I kid you not—she answered “My husband just called her. She’ll be there by about 6. But you can go out, I’ll let her in…”.

Oh my frigging GOD! At that point I was hangry as heck, so I took off with my husband (who was now home from work and had joined me) headed for a burger place, where I could cool my pits and not send a ragey text I’d later regret. I responded saying “Okay, please just let me know when you’ve let her in” (figuring she’d be there at least an hour and a half AFTER that time). She agreed.

So we’re out finally eating. 6 o clock comes and goes. 6:30 does too. Still no text that the cleaner had been let in. Finally, my husband (who hates making waves) made the decision to put an end to the madness. He has to be up at 5am to get ready for work! So at 6:45 I texted to say (paraphrasing here) that I was finished eating, it was almost 7 pm and had the cleaner arrived yet? Because if not, I’m sorry but she cannot go there, we will be in bed before she’s done cleaning.

Believe it or not, the answer was that she was “On her way” (but STILL not there!) but if I insisted she would have her husband tell her to turn around. She added something about how it was the last time she’d be cleaning her dad’s house for the summer and “I guess I’ll lhave to clean my dad’s house for him…”

I guess you will then? I didn’t actually say that LOL, but yeah, I drew the line when she wasn’t there by almost SEVEN PM! It was so ridiculous we really had to laugh!

As it turned out, the owner himself called me shortly afterwards and apologized profusely. He was so sweet and sorry, and said I should’ve called him, and to call him no matter what time if anything else came up. He felt really badly, and I completely forgave him. Not his fault. It’s all water under the bridge at this point but yeah, it was quit a wasted day, waiting for the cleaner that never showed!

I’ve since adjusted to the clutter and am just grateful I’m not sitting around waiting for a stranger to come any longer! And also looking forward to going home in a few days LOL.

So after that looooonnnng story, can anyone relate? What would you sitters have done differently, if anything? TIA for reading my novel!

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Firstly I wonder why the cleaner was scheduled to come the day after you arrived. Secondly, I don’t understand why you couldn’t have eaten something whether the cleaner had come or not.

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First off, I wouldn’t have applied for the sit. I saw a sit listed the other night which sounds so much like this sit - has me curious if it’s the same one! It was in a very desirable part of the city not far from where I live but the pictures were over the top clutter everywhere. The sitters gave the homeowner good reviews apart from a sitter who said the cleanliness wasn’t up to her standards. The homeowner replied apologetically and said he had since hired a housecleaner. I wouldn’t have expected a housecleaner to “declutter” but more to clean. Also, it sounds like you applied for the sit because of the awesome location. I think I would have made a point of dining out and checking what the location had to offer.

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She was on a schedule to come every 2 weeks, and the day after I had arrived just happened to be when she was next due.

As for not eating, that’s on me. I’ve been on a weight loss journey with the help of Zepbound for the past year, so I am often not hungry until the afternoon (which makes it easy to follow an intermittent fasting diet). By the time I actually got hungry I kep thinking the cleaner would be there any minute, and I didn’t want to be preparing food while she was trying to clean. It’s not a big house.

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Definitely not the same sit as I am in the USA and I see you are in Vancouver lol. But sounds like a very similar situation!

And you’re right, cleaners don’t de-clutter, but the fact that he’s had cleaners regularly recently has made it bearable for me to stay here ,because now it’s JUST cluttered, but not dirty. I’m making the best of it, and the good thing is it takes the pressure I usually feel when leaving housesits to not leave a stray hair or crumb! I will clean as I always do before I leave, but know it will look better than it did when I got here regardless. It’s a lovely location and a very kind owner, I don’t regret taking this sit, it’s all part of the THS experience, IMO. :slight_smile:

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I wouldn’t apply for such a sit at all, given the negative reviews. If the host had straightened up, I would want some other sitter to say that’s true in their review. Let someone else be the guinea pig, IMO.

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Yes - it would definitely have been way too coincidental! Well happy to hear you’re feeling better about the entire situation moving forward!

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Even with having a cleaner on schedule, I would think the normal thing would be to organize for the cleaner to clean before the arrival of the sitter. Having the home cleaned after the arrival of the sitter would be a red flag for me, and this incident proves the point.

If clean is an important issue, I would avoid cluttered homes. This is because clutter is a sign that it is overwhelming to keep the home tidy and that one can’t keep up. A cluttered home will also be harder to clean. I say this also from my own experience in my own home and the times and/ or areas where clutter emerge. I am talking about more than a stack of magazines, but still.

If one do take on a sit with a cluttered home and a delayed arrival of cleaner, I think it could be important for ones wellbeing to own your decisions. If I know I have chosen something, it feels better than if I feel out of control. You chose to not eat. As a person that can get hangry, it is important for me to eat regularly or I can get more frustrated. Frustration can impact my decision making. It can also be harder to handle after I get hangry. So for me just making a meal when I need to make a meal - regardless - would be important. I could also choose to make something that I could eat easily - like a snack - or could make into a take away meal if the cleaner suddenly came over. As you were going to stay while the cleaner was cleaning, it would be possible also to just eat your meal. Not doing so was your choice. It might be that even though you don’t easily get hungry, it would still be important to regulate your bloodsugar and get some energy regularly for your wellbeing.

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So glad it’s resolved and you’re able to see a positive outcome! Speaking as an ex housecleaner ( that’s how I got through grad school) and as the employer of house cleaners for the past 30 years, what you’ve described is simply unacceptable. No housecleaner is delayed by hours, there’s no reason to have a person who’s supposed to make your life easier become the source of frustration. No excuses for postponing several hours. Period. You should have told the older gent and or his daughter to reschedule after she was an hour late. Seriously. And I agree with Garfield ( as usual) it was on you to eat well before hangry time, a cliff bar or a banana or whatever…or just cook and let the cleaner deal. And I agree with Maggie88 (as I usually do) that it’s not a great idea to accept a sit with red flags, especially before another sitter can vet it for you! Well, live and learn. You’ve dealt with it well and are the wiser for it, good on ya!

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Looks like the great reviews were written before the review system was changed. Before then people were afraid of retaliatory reviews if they gave a bad one. Now we can be more honest.

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How exasperating! I would have been very frustrated with all of that. I really don’t like having a cleaner come in when I’m there, although I rarely sit in a place that has a cleaner. Like you I would not have wanted to start cooking not knowing when she would turn up.
I think, if anything like this does happen to me I will ask that the cleaner is cancelled, I would rather just do it myself.

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@Avamyst11 thanks for sharing with the forum.

With the benefit of hindsight what would you have done differently?

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After the whole incident when the owner called me to apologize, I asked what the cleaner would’ve done. He said “just vacuum, mop the floors, wipe counters…” I told him I do all of that anyway. He said “Okay thanks, you saved me 90 bucks”! LOL!!

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The not eating part is definitely on me, I own that entirely. And very true about the clutter. All but one of the previous housesits I’ve done have been immaculate homes that belong in magazines, so the contrast is stark with a “well lived in” home like this.

Honestly though, I knew what I was getting into and knew it was cluttered based on the photos. I was willing to deal with it because of the location, and I don’t regret the decision to do the sit. There are still plenty of good things to take away from this experience, I look at it as part of the overall adventure of experiencing new places. I could do without the shenannigans of the cleaner though, and just had to vent. :upside_down_face:

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Good grief $90 :flushed_face: for a bit of light housework, that’s crazy.

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I can see how the cleaner not showing up on time was really annoying.

At 1 pm, if the cleaner had not arrived, I think that I would have simply carried on with my food preparation in the kitchen. If the cleaner arrived while I was cooking, I would have asked her to start in the other parts of the house and I would be out of the kitchen in 30 minutes. Something like that. “I have had to flex for you, and now you are going to flex for me.”

Just to clarify for hosts, the house should be clean BEFORE the sitter arrives.

We did a 10 night sit at a home in which the cleaner came every 2 weeks. She came on day 4 of the sit (her natural day). So you can imagine, the house was not clean on arrival. The owner was the type of person who cooked a lot and did NOT clean up the kitchen well at the end of each day.

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I had a somewhat similar experience once…
No issues with cleanliness, but it was a one-week sit in the UK over New Year’s. The day before my arrival, the owner messaged to let me know the boiler had broken and there was no heat or hot water in the house but that a technician would be in that day and should have the issue fixed before I arrived. Great👌

Next day, she sends an update: Someone did come by but needed to order a part. He would return that morning to do the fix. Awesome :+1:

I arrived midday. The technician still wasn’t there but should arrive by 1pm. Cool, no problem.

1pm, no technician. I call the HO. She calls the company. They’ll be there by 5pm.

5pm, no one. I call the HO. She calls the company. Sorry, they’re done for the day. And since tomorrow is a holiday (Jan. 1), they won’t be in then, either. But they’ll see me Jan. 2 first thing in the morning.

Long story short, it dragged out over my entire stay. The technician finally arrived and fixed the boiler about an hour after I left on Jan. 6 :roll_eyes:

But I wasted several days in the meantime sitting around waiting for someone to come who never came, losing my limited vacation time… in a freezing house with greasy hair because I couldn’t tolerate the cold water in a cold house. The owner was absolutely lovely and made every effort to handle it quickly (at the expense of her own vacation time) and kept asking what more she could do. Unfortunately, stuff like this can just happen. Given that THS isn’t Airbnb or a hotel, there are no guarantees :woman_shrugging:

Your situation is obviously a bit different, but thought I would share in commiseration :squinting_face_with_tongue:

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I wouldn’t have applied to sits with bad reviews no matter how awesome the location sounds. But if I had, I always have protein bars with me just in case I can’t eat at normal times. If the cleaner was late on the day they were supposed to come, I would probably reach out once to get an update. If the cleaner doesn’t come by the 2nd time period that was stated to me, I would have just left the home if I was in desperate need to eat, or just cook the food regardless of when the cleaner would show up. If I needed to go to bed due to early wakeup time tomorrow, I would have let the host know that it’s your bedtime and cannot accommodate letting the cleaner enter the house in the evening.

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Oh my! Your situation was defintiely worse, being that it lasted your entire sit! It’s so true–sh*t happens, and as a homeowner myself I completely get it. But still sooo frustrating, especially when we, as sitters, are providing our care on a barter system, in exchange for what should be a pleasant experience!

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Oh my goodness, that does sound like a very unpleasant and uncomfortable way to spend a week, during the coldest time of the year @one-eyed_scallywag

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