Sitter wants to bring boyfriend

@legendvictoria
It appears the general consensus is red flags all around, particularly not even having the flights booked.
If it were me, I’d cancel the sit and advertise again.

Wishing you the best of luck with whatever you decide.

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:100: understand how tricky it must be. You can only go with your own gut feeling. Time and time again on here it’s problems that occur when people don’t do that. Hope it all works out for the best. #trustyourgut

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So now two people will need to buy plane tickets and rent a car, to be in AZ in summer for a week? I think they’ll finally look into it and realize it’s a lot of money and effort.

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I don’t see the extraordinary reason for cancelling unilaterally.

@pietkuip
Hmm, I can.

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I’ve just remembered that it was 3 days ago when you asked about travel arrangements. It’s a long time and she seems to be waiting for you to accept her boyfriend being with her. You have no idea about the stability of their relationship and with that poor planning and communication, things could be a bit complicated. You mentioned in your OP you were already a bit nervous because of the length of this sitting, which is going to make it quite difficult to relax and fully enjoy your time away from home. You also said your plan B would be friends and family. Could you perhaps cancel the sitting, relist it and try to get another sitter? then if you don’t, friends and family could perhaps help you out. If the sitting is long then you can keep changing your listing dates so that available sitters can apply. I wish I could help. This seems quite unfair.
Best of luck with the sitting and enjoy your grandmotherhood experience!

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Unilaterally? The only unilateral action here is being taken by the sitter. After 3 or 4 days of being asked about travel arrangements, not answering and coming up with a proposal of changing the terms agreed, I would say there’s grounds to be worried.

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I hope that THS would tell that the HO that cold feet and getting scared by a thread on the forum is no reason to cancel unilaterally.

The sitter had asked nicely if her boyfriend could come along. Did the HO even answer that question yet?

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@pietkuip
I’m thinking about the sitter not booking the flight and not getting back to messages. The boyfriend isn’t the main issue in my view.

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I don’t see that.

I really do not see any reason for asking THS to cancel the sit. If the HO cannot wait a few hours for a reply to a message (because of scare stories about other boyfriends in this thread), the HO can make a voice call.

Why do people have so much trouble communicating directly?

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@pietkuip I am always fascinated how you interpret posts and add your spin on things. Where did it ever say that the sitter asked ‘nicely’ to bring her boyfriend? She merely mentioned it when the OP asked about travel. Now she isn’t answering at all (for days, not hours).
I think that this sitter is telegraphing her exit strategy fairly clearly.

Edited to comply with Community Rules

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Sorry if I missed that. But this thread is just 17 hours old.

Anyway, if the HO wants a quick answer, get the sitter on the phone and ask her what she intends to do. I see absolutely no reason to ask THS to intervene.

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@pietkuip
A phone call does sound like a good idea.
So does communicating directly :thinking:
We don’t know what exactly happened though and when they last communicated…

It’s different in Europe as we have multiple options that include flights ferries trains buses etc it’s really easy to travel here in the UK to anywhere in Europe. Sometimes I book a flight or ferry just two days before if I want to hop over to France for example.

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Are you a Premium member ?
If the sitter cancels because you say that you are not comfortable with bf coming .
You may be covered for the boarding costs under the sit cancellation plan .

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@legendvictoria You don’t mention how far away she is. Is she definitely flying? Is it possible they might drive? Maybe with two of them they could be planning a road trip.

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I do agree honest, direct communication is the best strategy and that was my first suggestion (video chat and asking if she would be interested in sitting solo, as originally agreed) The thing is the sitter doesn’t sound very keen on answering the HW question (after 3 days, not hours). Replying with another question, to me, doesn’t qualify as an answer.
But yes, after all this time waiting, I would phone her straight away and cancel the sitting if I didn’t see clear signs of her really being committed to it.

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That question she had responded to.

The sitter is of course not making travel arrangements before the HO answers her question whether the boyfriend can come along. And that question the HO does not seem to have answered. For days!

@legendvictoria: Did you tell her that the boyfriend could come with her to the sit? YES or NO?
Many have asked this question yet you have not provided a clear response.

Nicely, I presume!
Sorry, couldn’t help the joke. It came on a silver platter. :blush: