I think it is more a product of the world changing in this short time since you have been away - pandemic, everyone on their phones, interacting with the phone more than one another…etc. Just keep modeling the behavior you want and you will surely, over time, have it begin to be modeled back to you. Or, at least that’s how I approach it. I am sorry that happened to you so many times. xoxo
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I don’t think most people are rude, just thoughtless, not knowing or embarrassed.
Usually I am not the overall understanding type and expect people to open their mouths instead of ducking away which always seems rude behavior, but when I received an ad just the other day and I had to decline because I thought the sitter wasn’t experienced enough for our 12 year old and not altogether healthy cat, I felt so bad. Of course I wrote back and said I am so sorry for having to decline and she was very understanding. As soon as I had written the answer I instantly felt better for having done it but was still sorry for having to say no. I guess some people don’t want to face this and simply hit the decline button close their eyes and think as they don’t know you it’s not so bad.
I am totally new to this kind of finding a sitter and although I am thrilled that such a wonderful platform exists and seems to work most of the time, I wasn’t thinking beforehand that I might have to decline. Of course, having read your posts about this and hearing about the other side (I am HO only) it makes perfect sense and I would never go without replying. Maybe some people don’t read and try to get as much information as possible before using the platform?
Thank you for bringing this up!
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Thank you for sharing your insight as a new owner member @anon39388349.
One of the main benefits of the Forum, a relatively new addition to TrustedHousesitters, is for members to share perspectives, ideas, suggestions and experiences from both sides of our lifestyle as they can be very different. Communication is key to understanding and having successful experiences.
I am both an owner and full time sitter and like you feel badly when I have to decline an application … but as with all forms of communication it’s how it’s handled that makes all the difference and taking time to respond in a caring way, as you do, is always appreciated.
Thank you again.
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What about this suggestion: that a HO’s ‘accept’ to one sitter cannot go though until and unless the H has sent a (copied and pasted is ok) response to every sitter who applied?
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@anon39388349 I agree that I hate turning people down even though it is inevitable when receiving more than one application for a sit. I always reply to all applicants individually and can only hope that people don’t take it too personally if they are unsuccessful. If I don’t choose someone for one sit it doesn’t mean another application would necessarily have the same result, as there are lots of factors to consider, especially in the current situation……
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I have one sit that invited me to sit and then won’t respond to any questions I have. Zero communication. The sit is in over a month - am I supposed to keep those dates open just in case they ever respond? Ridiculous.
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Have they sent you the offer and you’ve accepted? Or did you just have a conversation about it and now you’re waiting for confirmation (and answers to your questions)?
ETA: If the latter, I’d keep looking for another sit and/or send them a message saying I’m rescinding my application.
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No. Keep on applying. Never stop looking till it’s on your dashboard.
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That is a red flag for me if they won’t respond to your questions. I agree with @ElsieDownie
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Hi Jenn and welcome to the community forum. Sorry to hear you aren’t getting a response re one of your applications. As @Kelownagurl asks, can you confirm if this is a sit offer that you have accepted (so showing as a confirmed sit), or one that you haven’t accepted pending answers? Please feel free to direct message me and we’ll do our best to help get this resolved for you. All the best, Vanessa
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Very true and becoming more and more the norm it seems.
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Hello @anon39388349. Your honest feedback is valuable to the applicants even if they don’t see it. All of our experiences, positive or negative helps us to become better as sitters, HOs and as people in general.
As a full time sitter, I also have had to decline folks but I always communicate as to why.
Thank you and best wishes. It’s nice to see more HOs sharing their insight.
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Had to read all the comments before joining the discussion. My thoughts and feelings are that yes, things have changed. It is inevitable. What matters most is how we respond and doing what we do, we should not take things personally or allow ourselves to feel slighted in any way. I used to get “hurt” if I was declined or if someone did not respond to my application, heaven forbid they did not give me a review! 
Now I just let it all roll off like water on a duck. I don’t read more into anything than necessary. I have no expectations from people I don’t know and who don’t know me. There are unlimited people, places, pets and plants that are looking and waiting for me. Your people, the right people are looking for you. Help them find you and keep moving.
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Great advice!
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Very good advice.
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Such wise words @Amparo and I totally agree with you. There are limitless scenarios for house sits and we always say there’s a sitter for every sit.. trusting that (and listening to our intuition) has worked for us too! Have a lovely day!
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@orangedrop yes sadly it is common and i think the best we can do as sitters is just move on rather than let it get you down; its a sign of the times as much as anything; common courtesy of all sorts is not what it should be! I prefer to put my energy into checking the listings and if nobody replies in a few days I archive that application with a ‘did not reply’ ‘not suitable’ sticker. I also focus my thoughts on all the great animals and HOs I have met who far outweigh the HOs are are just interested in their own outcome. The thing is that they might have their short term needs met but sitters who keep a record of such people in the archive are less inclined to apply in the future and eventually there is a very shallow pool of sitters who apply so its self-defeating and for want of a little courtesy that can be quickly sent as a group ‘thank you for your interest but we have now filled the sit and good luck with your search’
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@Provence yes of course you have the right to accept the first person if the fit is right for you or you have the right to wait for months to decide and as a sitter I can either wait or move on …its as simple as that and why somebody should bully you I have no idea; the only thing is (and has been said in many other threads) a HO should out of courtesy let applicants know when they have selected somebody (I think the system does that anyway) and a short ‘thank you for applying’ (which can be done in a few minutes as a group message) is always appreciated. In addition when a sitter is offered a sit, they should respond yes or no quickly so that it can be confirmed or the HO can offer it to somebody else. We should never ‘bully’ each other!
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I agree totally Provence, I recently advertised a sit, as the sitter that I had previously accepted several months ago cancelled, and the first couple who applied this time seemed like a very good fit, even though they are news to THS and it is their first sit so they had no reviews. We arranged a Zoom meeting for a couple of days later and I paused the applications straight away. My reason for pausing the applications is that I know several people have saved my listing and some of them seem like they would be a good fit on another occasion. My worry is that if people are not accepted several times they might stop applying, which would be a real shame. Following the Zoom meeting I accepted the sitters, even though they were the first and only applicants due to my pausing the sit.
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I got a note from a HO last week saying “Thank you for your application, but we have decided to go with someone else”. I was not too surprised to be declined - It was in New York (very popular) and I have no TH reviews yet. The sit is still being listed so I am laughing at the idea that they really meant “we have decided to go with someone else. We don’t know who yet, but definitely someone else, and not you.” You can’t take these “rejections” personally!
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