I’m feeling a level of concern about an upcoming sit. It’s not until summer but the pet parent seems a little odd. I don’t usually book so far ahead but it’s in an amazing location.
It could be something as simple as differing communication styles or loneliness, but theres some unnecessary messages (harmless but odd to me!) .
I said I always like to videochat before agreeing a sit, and they accepted me straight away without even mentioning it. I then forgot, and when I logged in a few days ago realised I hadnt accepted and panicked as I didn’t want to lose out… thats totally my mistake.
They also want us to come the night before which is not something I would usually do. We can’t arrive on day of leaving though as it’s a hugely long drive for us!
I know everyone one the forum says trust your instincts. But I’m worried I’m being judgemental about someone who might just have a different communication style.
Wwyd?
Many hosts have invited us to stay with them the night before . It’s not unusual, in fact it’s the most practical arrangement if they are departing early the next morning .
It could be considered very unthoughtful of a host who demands that you arrive early in the morning knowing that you have a long journey to get there and doesn’t invite you to stay with them the night before .
If you are not comfortable staying with them the night before , that’s ok - you can book a nearby hotel (at your own expense ) . Then you can arrive at the sit the day before for a handover , go to your hotel for the evening and move into the sit the next morning. We have also done this . It works well . ( We actually did this for a yesterday for a sit that starts this morning ) . Be sure to inform your hosts asap if this is your plan so that everyone knows what your plan is .
If you want a video call - arrange it asap to put your mind at rest .
When we first started sitting we used to read on the forum about people staying the night before and they seemed to think it was nice, but we thought the whole idea of it was weird, odd, awkward, and never something that we would want to do, we’ve both had our own houses since we were 19, and now we’re in our 50’s and 60’s… HOWEVER, when we finally actually stayed the night prior because an owner had an early flight, it was a brilliant experience, really interesting, and enjoyable, and we’ve done it many times since, it’s never actually been weird, odd, or awkward in real life, it’s been great fun.
@Silversitters is right. We don’t always stay overnight when it’s asked for, because sometimes we know we’ll be tireder from cleaning the last place and then driving and just stay at a nearby hotel instead. We simply arrange a time to pop in on the day prior to meet their pets and to collect their keys, and they can show us whats-what. That way we can let ourselves in after the owners have left (so they are more calm and relaxed with having the place to themselves to pack their cases, and they already know we’re nearby so they know we’ll turn up when we say we will). It’s a win-win.
Yes, I realise on reading my post back I wasn’t clear- it’s not so much the staying before that’s an issue, its not usual but we have done it in the past. it’s the unusual communication style that’s bothering me, which is leading to apprehension about the whole thing!
I need to arrange that video call, you’re right.
You talk about loneliness as a possible explanation for their unnecessary messages, so I guess what’s troubling you is the idea of having to keep up with continuous communication all this time. If that’s the case, a video chat won’t probably solve this but could help you take a decision. If it were me, I would be more afraid of hearting their feelings if I had to cancel after talking to them with no clear explanation that they would understand.
So I would suggest giving it a bit of thought before making any move so that you have your options open. I mean, you could say that you have never booked so long in advance and are feeling a bit worried about that commitment. If it’s a very desirable location they will be able to get someone well in advance and don’t have to feel that they’re doing something wrong. After a video call, the situation would be a bit more awkward and that explanation, which is also true now, would be a bit weaker.
If what worries you most is the expectations about the care of the house and pets, that can be easily solved with further communication (Welcome Guide, video chat, specific questions, etc)
Sounds like a bit of a lack of communication and organisation from both sides as there was no video call, and you recently realised it wasn’t officially confirmed via the site. If they’re newbies, they might also not realise that video calls are best practice or know that sits must be officially confirmed via the site - they might need you to show them the ropes!
Definitely have a follow up video call to determine if you’re a good match and make all needs and preferences clear. If in the end you feel you’re not a good match, it would be better to cancel than follow through with something that isn’t a good fit for you, as that leaves neither party happy. Next time, make sure you have a video call prior to accepting a sit (even if an owner doesn’t seem to want one - it should be a deal-breaker if they don’t organise a call!) and ensure you have both officially confirmed the sit via the site shortly after a call if you reached mutual agreement. Good comms and organisation is always key to a smooth sit; lack thereof is often the route cause of poor sit situations that is seen so often on the forum.
As for staying the night before - if this isn’t your preference and you’re not so comfortable with it that’s fine but you’ll need to then communicate your preference and present them with a different solution for a handover (e.g: you meet with them the day before but stay in accomodation that you’ve organised nearby). If this works for both parties, wollah, but if not then you’ll need to either make a compromise or part ways.
Why don’t you video chat quickly to help you determine that you are a good fit, and if you are, leave things by saying you’ll be back in touch about 2-3 weeks before the sit starts, so that you’ve tried to cut the cord a little with the extra messages.
They aren’t, have a few reviews. And yes, I’m worried about hurting their feelings! I think it’s loneliness potentially. Or possibly on the spectrum… youre right- I’m not concerned about the sit itself at all, I’m concerned about the communication. Ill try and get them to commit to a call.
You make a good point about the location - I applied in a massive rush as thought I was going to miss it!
I’ll try and pin them down to a call and if they’re not up for a video or phone chat I’ll extricate myself.
In my opinion communication is important, and comm. style could impact whether you are a good match or not. One could also see it as unfair to the host to give them a sit partner which is not comfortable sitting for them. I think you have some responsibilities here. You need to clear with yourself what you want with the handover, and if you are not happy with the suggested solution then you need to present your alternative or withdraw. Same with videocall. It is also unfair to the host to give them an uncomfortable sitpartner that is unhappy with them. They too deserve a good match. This could be interpreted as «critizism», but isn’t really. Because this interpretation give you the power - to decide what you want, to word it - and in effect give you and the host the possibility of a good match - even if you walk separate ways.
We’ve had quite a number of HO’s that have messaged more than others. But I’ve just had a thought given your scenario, is it possible that they said about their grandkids, because they knew you had kids, to try to help put you at ease with their pets around your kids, and is it possible that maybe they are being more chitty-chatty or maybe even sending more pet photo’s for the benefit of your kids? Obviously, I don’t know what you are chatting about, so I’m just guessing. But perhaps they are being the way they are, to help you relax, given you have kids, because they may have thought you may have wanted to share their messages with your kids to get them excited.
@catscatscats24 Have you considered they may have a speech or hearing issue and that the written word is easier for them to use? I have had an owner where this was the case, so we just messaged and all went well.
Is this sit confirmed or not? If not, trust your gut and walk away.
If it is confirmed, schedule a video call to find out if it allays your concerns and if it doesn’t ask them to cancel the sit. They will soon find someone else given it’s an amazing location.
I find this so interesting. Just earlier this week we decided to decline an offer because of tiny niggles. I’m 100% sure we could have made it work, yet I opted to listen to my gut. What’s interesting is that I will never know if my gut was right!!! (It was not a THS sit, so I wouldn’t be able to track future feedback).
@catscatscats24. +1 for video call. If unusual communication is the concern then encourage prepare list of targeted questions, based on your perceived apprehension, and talk stuff through.
Re night before, this is optional. Should you wish, you can say ‘no thank you’. Housesitting is a two-way fair exchange. Perhaps half of our housesits have involved arriving a day early and/or leaving a day late. All sorts of reasons. We try to accommodate reasonable requests and enjoy meeting Pet Parents. But there’s a big difference between a requirement (listing dates) and a request (extra days).