Hi, Thanks to everyone who helps out on this forum!
We have our first two sits coming up, the first in October and the sitter is within driving distance. The second sit is over Thanksgiving week, and we accepted a family with two small children (3&5) after a video chat, and clearly telling them that we had listed our sit as single or couple only, but were willing to make an exception in their case. They are flying cross country to come to us. In my description of our location I clearly state there is not public transportation, that having or renting a car would be best, and the price of Uber to get to most places. We do not want to make our cars available to sitters, end of discussion.
The upcoming sitter messaged me today to ask about borrowing a car. Now I feel bad. But I also feel as though while I understand this is an exchange of benefits between us, both of us needing to get a benefit, that asking to use our car while sitting for our 2 cats is pushing the envelope. I have already offered to borrow books and toys so they didnât have to fly with so much, (we are an older couple with no grandchildren and a very nice house, hence the initial reluctance to have small children here. )
I also understand the âyou never know if you donât askâ aspect.
Just wondering how others feel? Sorry this is so long, and rambling!
From the UK, hi. Here we wouldnât as a rule loan our cars to strangers (our daughters very rarely use my car unless itâs emergency) due to insurance so I would just say no, sorry and theyâd have to rent a car. And as youâve no children, what about car seatsâŚ.?
Hi @Travelpro Just say no and donât feel bad about it if itâs a step too far for you. Your listing stated that having/renting a car would be preferable, and they have confirmed the sit on that basis. If they choose not to rent a car, you may want to factor that in to your emergency plan for what happens if one of your cats needs to go to the vets - do you have a friend/neighbour who drives and would be able to help out in that scenario?
Iâve had HOs offer me use of their cars in the past and Iâve only done it once when I was on a sit in rural France and then only used it to go shopping. But it was mentioned in the listing that a car would be available. I would never ask to use a HOs car, especially if it was mentioned in the listing that it was not included. The only possible exception would be if they expected me to do a lot of transporting of the pets, in which case I think them providing the vehicle could make sense.
I would just tell them that, as mentioned in the listing, a car is not available and theyâd need to arrange their own local transportation. To me it sounds like a sitter who jumped on an opportunity without really thinking through what would be involved. Depending on when the sit is happening and the response you got initially you might consider offering them an out if the car is going to be an issue.
I now travel with my own vehicle (small campervan I live in) and I mention in my applications that Iâll have my own vehicle available and will need a place to park it during the sit. Before I had a vehicle I just wouldnât apply to a sit that required one as I wasnât willing to do a rental.
You clearly stated in your listing it wasnât family friendly and a sitter needed their own transport yet they still applied.
It seems to me they are desperate to be in your area at that particular time. I may be doing them a disservice but your pets may not be their first priority.
Perhaps you felt desperate to secure sitters during a peak holiday period.
You are under no obligation to provide transport, especially as it was requested after confirmation.
I think it would have been better to have stuck to your original request for a single sitter or couple. I wouldnât offer a car as they will certainly need child seats. They may risk driving without them otherwise, and then the insurance would be a problem if something happened. Donât be afraid to say no to things that donât seem like a good fit for you. We all learn from experience what works and what doesnât
I have a young grandchild that travels with me from time to time when Iâm in the US. A sitter canât use any car with young children unless they have car seats. They canât bring them in Uber at the ages you mentioned because car seats are required for children.
If it were me, I would be very clear that borrowing your car is off limits. I would not feel bad at all. They knew this when they applied, and with young children, they know the laws already around car seats. They can usually rent a car seat with a car rental agency, and would need to when they land at the airport. Itâs the only way for them to get to your home since car seats are required, and they canât use Uber with young children.
I would ask them to confirm their car rental now along with their flights. I would be concerned that with the cost of flights and the cost of a car rental, it may prove to be a more expensive sit for them than they originally thought. Perhaps itâs why they are asking now. Either way, itâs getting more complicated for you. You donât want to end up where you are under pressure just before the sit to comply with their requests or have no sitter.
Just say no, use of your car is not included in the sit, and donât feel bad about it. Your listing indicates that your home is not accessible by public transit. It sounds like they really didnât think it through or maybe they were surprised by the cost of car rental. You definitely should not feel pressured to include the use of your car.
If it was something they rely on it should have been discussed before confirmation so you would have the chance to pick another sitter.
You can say no.
Itâs probably not relevant that it is a family as the car-question surely could have come up also with singles/ couples in areas without public transport.
These sitters have disregarded that your sit wasnât listed as family friendly and that you werenât offering use of a car. Iâd be wary of what else theyâd disregard during a sit. In your place, I would find other sitters or make alternative arrangements for pet care.
Iâm inclined to agree with this. Never âpanic buyâ a sitter for your home and pets and never be afraid to tell them what you expect of them. If kids are not allowed, say so.
Itâs simple for me. If I canât comply with HOâs home or pet needs, I donât apply to sit
Hosts are under no obligation to offer the use of their car, and you were very clear in your listing that it would not be available. While I canât know what prompted them to ask you to use it, I suspect the rental added more to their budget than they can or want to spend, and they figured they would take a shot and see if you would allow them to use yours.
So, donât feel badly about telling them the car is not available. If it were me, I would also make it clear they are free to cancel if not having a car to use would make the sit unfeasible, and see how they respond to that âeasy out.â
If they still wanted to do the sit, but communicate in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable, makes you question whether they will actually follow through,etc⌠it is probably best to cancel and find someone else. You still have plenty of time.
I bet they have family in your area, thatâs why they are so eager to be there over Thanksgivings. I am also wondering whether they have really calculated the cost of flying there and if the (needed) car rental cost will be the tipping point of them cancelling the sit. Perhaps ask them whether they have already bought the tickets.
As @Maggie8K said, they have been asking more than you clearly stated youâre comfortable withâmaybe itâs better to start anew with different candidates.
There are two issues here: the fact that they asked after confirmation, even though itâs stated that there is no car available. The fact that you made an exception for two young children who also, by the way, must be in car seats.
From out here, I think there are too many red flags to ignore.
You still have plenty of time to re-advertise your sit for Thanksgiving.
Hi, thanks for your response. The problem is they have already purchased airfare. I assume they are planning on checking car seats. She was very nice about my ânoâ to the car.
Btw - I just looked at your listing and it does not show your preference for solo or couple sitters. I only use the app and cannot see HO preferences. Based on another topic on the forum, this was a recent upgrade that sitters could see preferences that align with them but it was not rolled out to all using the app. You may want to explicitly state this preference in your description like " Prefer solo and couple housesitters"
It sounds like you talked to them about it, but I thought youâd like to know this.
You get to decide what is acceptable for you and what isnât. And, there is no reason to explain, justify or feel âguiltyâ about what you want.
P.S. It sounds like these sitters have already pushed the boundaries a bit despite clear descriptions of the conditions (no public transportation) and your preferences (single or couple only). I see yellow flags here.
Standing your ground -for any reason- is valid and acceptable and needs no further explanation.
