which is it?
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We only know one side of the story. The OP wrote that a compromise has been reached. All is good now as far as I can see.
I hope that the people here so quick to judge, have more gentleness and forgiveness towards themselves than they have shown here towards a pet sitter they never met
Good vibes to you all
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@andrealovesanimals , your grace is appreciated. I thought it was about to get into a Nuh Uh / Uh Huh scenario like in childhood
Thanks for the response @lolrj but it is important to include more of what the OP
stated:
So I interpret it that the OP says ‘finally’ because it is the first response she got from the sitter since her 1st text the day before. I do not interpret ‘finally’ as referring to the 2nd text that was sent a few hours before.
I might not have chosen the word ‘finally’ as it seems inflammatory to some.
Hope that clarifies my meaning for you
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@lolrj, I did not get upset about not being responded to within 2 hours.
Please reread my original post which says, “I texted her when we arrived at our destination and she didn’t respond. So, I texted her the next day to make sure everything was OK and she finally replied after a couple of hours.”
It took us 16+ hours to reach our final destination, so after I texted her the first time and didn’t hear anything, I waited until the next day before I texted again.
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It depends on what you texted. A message like “We arrived” does not need a response.
If one wants a response, it is better to ask a question: “Have you settled in?”, “Did you sleep well?”, “How are the pets doing?”, etc.
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In her first sentence, the OP indicated that her first text was to get an update on how the sitter and her 3 cats were doing.
This was sent when the HOs arrived at their destination. It doesn’t seem that she was just reporting their arrival.
The important thing is that the HO and sitter are now on the same page for their communication.
Yes, that was the OP’s intention. But did the text of the message make that explicit? Or could it be interpreted as just an FYI-statement?
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Seems clear to me but you do you.
So it doesn’t appear that her text is ‘We arrived’
That was the sitter’s response after the second message, where OP had asked if everything was OK. Seems adequate to me. I have seen no reasons to suspect that the sitter is unwilling to respond.
But maybe the atmosphere has soured a bit.
This was not a blind handover. Sitter had arrived the evening before the HO’s departure. So there had been no need to send these messages.
As a HO who has had wonderful sits I do two things ahead of the sit:1) Put expectations in writing- make sure they have a phone that they can use for texts- perhaps their phone is not international 2) Especially if the sitter stayed the night prior, I would have talked about my hopes for contact- every other day, an email, a text, etc. to ease your anxiety. 3) I would write it in my guidebook so all sitters can see what the expectation is before even applying. Before putting this in the review I would ask the sitter how many other sits did they do- maybe their experience was little to no contact required.
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. I disagree with people who say that you should have outlined this before the sit, although I’m sure you now will in your listing to be perfectly clear. The two hour delay is understandable. Please remember that sitters are living their lives too. Two hours is barely the length of some movies.
However, twelve hours is unreasonable. Of course you’d be concerned. With all the sits I’ve had, I’ve only had one that seemed to not want regular checkins, so I gave her fewer. Otherwise, I give them AT LEAST every other day…sometimes daily. It depends upon the HO. An experienced sitter can generally tell how often is appropriate for an individual HO, but being clear is best. There is not cookie cutter for people or animals and one should always err on the conservative side.
I have no solution that has not already been offered Just clarify exactly what you expect in terms of communication (within reason) from now on and explain that the current situation is stressing you.
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Thanks,@Explorer.
As I mentioned in my original post, I texted her when we arrived at our destination, which was 16+ hours after we left home, and she didn’t respond. So, I texted her the next day to make sure everything was OK and she finally replied after a couple of hours.
I hope she’s taking good care of our kitties.
I’m so sorry!!! I’m sure they’re fine, but it must be so nerve-wracking. People who don’t understand the impact on pet parents, when they don’t hear back, should really not sit.
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You still don’t say what you wrote. If you just wrote “We arrived” that does not require an answer.
If you had written right away to ask whether everything was OK, you would have been much more likely to have had an answer, probably within hours. With those photos that she sent you then. “Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”
That repeated “finally” indicates exasperation with the sitter, but I see no reason for that. And have a phone number, then you might make a friendly voice call. Communication clearly did not go so well, but according to reviews that you quote that was not typical of this sitter.
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We have been sitters for 5.5 years. My view is that perhaps a little different to others. Even though you didn’t discuss it with her before you left I don’t think your sitter is doing the right thing. I think she’s being pretty insensitive to not respond more quickly. You have indicated pretty clearly now that you want to hear from her more regularly and she has not made the effort to check her SMS more often. (Responding to SMS is just common courtesy in any case.)
You just need to spell it out how often you want contact now.
In our experience once a week is rare and low frequency. But the variety is very wide. We did once have a host who didn’t want to hear from us ever, even if the pets died! This is because he was working and didn’t want to be interrupted or worried.
We find many hosts, especially anxious ones, will feel much better in the first week if they get lots of contact and can then relax into their holiday.
Just a thought - we always set up a what’s app group with all our hosts before they leave so we can communicate easily.
Hope things have improved.
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I wrote, ”Good morning! How’s everything going?
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I believe the poster is soliciting honest feedback from the group, and that means there’s got to be room for multiple perspectives at the table. Unless I missed a nasty comment, I am only seeing very respectful exchange of just that – a variety of ideas and beliefs offered freely here for the poster’s benefit - no shaming.
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Yes, that she should have answered, when she saw it.
(But I now had my bicycle repairman not reacting to my SMS message for a day. So next day I made a voice call. He had not seen it. That is a business! And yes, SMS had worked well before. I use that when I don’t want to interrupt what he is doing.)