When your sitter (or homeowner) doesn't post review

I had a situation with my last sitter and, although she originally took great care of my home and fur babies, she “ghosted” me before I got home because she was upset that I returned home two days earlier than confirmed. That was after I asked her if it was okay with her and offering to share my home for the two days if she had no place to go. I am assuming that she knew I would include that in a review, and she has chosen not to write a review for me (it has been almost 2 weeks). I am glad that Trusted Housesitters now waits until both the sitter and the homeowner submit their reviews. If the sitter doesn’t write a review after the 2 weeks deadline, does the homeowners review show up after that? Is this a way that a sitter (or homeowner) can avoid a negative review?

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If you write a review, it will be published even if the sitter doesn’t write one. You might be better off if she doesn’t, because many sitters would avoid a host who returns early, unless it’s an emergency.

Asking her doesn’t really give her a choice, because was she ever in a position to tell you no? Would any sitter be able to keep a host from returning to their home? No. And saying that you’d share your home if she had no place to go is OK for some, but not many sitters. The fact that she ghosted you seems to indicate the latter.

Worth noting: Whatever review you write, she can respond to. And you can’t reply to her response.


I have to agree that offering to share the home – and no other option – isn’t ideal. What’s ideal is offering to pay for her stay at a reasonable nearby hotel and, depending on how much notice you gave her, telling her Not. To. Clean. And a bit of grovelling on your part wouldn’t hurt lol…

When I discuss a sit with a potential sitter, if there’s any possiblity whatsoever that I’d change my dates, I talk about it right up front. Usually it’s “So, we’re definitely going to be gone from the 5-9, but it’s possible we’d decide to leave a day early and/or return a day late and be gone from the 4-10; the cats would be fine for a day alone on either side, so it wouldn’t change your commitment other than to fill their water and kibble really full when you leave.”


You should probably feel grateful she didn’t write a review. You broke an agreement. If the Sitter/Guest contacted you and stated they had to leave two days early,. what would be your response? Personally, I think you should have either paid for a hotel or Airbnb for the Guest or booked one for yourself for the remaining agreed dates.


If there was an emergency that was the reason that you curtailed the sit, then it seems your sitter was understanding and left so that you could return early . I hope that you write a review commending them for the way that they handled the situation although it would have caused them a lot of disruption to leave early . Sounds like a 5 :star: sitter who was understanding and accommodating for your emergency situation.

If there was not an extraordinary circumstance ( such as a bereavement or severe illness ) for you to curtail the sit then you breached the THS T&Cs and should be grateful that the your sitter hasn’t raised a member dispute which could result in you being removed from THS . Although they could still do this as it can be raised anytime during the 30 days of the end of the sit .


Not sure you got a clear enough answer on this one, so just to be crystal clear: No, this is not a way for a sitter to avoid a negative review. However you reviewed her will show up on her profile whether she reviews you or not.

Would you have been happy had the sitter left 3 days earlier? I don’t think so. You should have offered to pay for their hotel for the two days or stayed in a hotel yourself to honor the full petsit date. Had you done that to my family, I would have automatically deducted 3 stars.


@fbrenner6 Since your sitter took great care of your home and pets, why would you not leave a great review? Sounds like the sitter earned it.


I appreciate most of the feedback I have received about my situation. I’ve been using TrustedHousesitters successfully for three years and was not aware that a request to return early was against the protocols unless a “true emergency.” I took your comments to heart and attempted to change my review, giving me the opportunity to speak to someone from trustedhousesitters. I was informed that since the sitter agreed that it was okay for me to return early, my expectation that it was acceptable made sense. The staff person suggested it was a fair review. Homeowners and sitters need to maintain clear communication before, throughout, and after the sit. Still, I will be more considerate if a a similar situation arises in the future. Finally, I also hope that conversations on this forum remain civil. People make mistakes and it is more helpful to explain rather than shame.


@fbrenner6 It sounds like you officially changed your sit dates via Membership Services once the sitter had acknowledged your intended early return? Do you mean you’ve reviewed your sitter’s communications poorly because he/she has not corresponded with you since you curtailed the sit? And you want to know if your review will be posted if the sitter fails to review you within the 14 day window?

If the sitter does not leave a review for you, your review for him/her will appear after the 14 day window has elapsed.

Whilst I feel the sitter should have continued to liaise with you until cessation of the sit - for the wellbeing of the animals - I can’t help but think you’ve added insult to injury by firstly cutting short your sit in the absence of extraordinary circumstances, and then leaving a potentially damaging review for the sitter (who you acknowledge did a great job of caring for your home and pets). How many stars did you dock from the sitter’s overall rating, if you don’t mind me asking?

Hopefully, the sitter will leave an honest, factual review before the window expires. He/she will also have the opportunity to respond to your review, of course.


@fbrenner6 Out of interest, if the sitter had responded negatively to your saying you intended returning home early, and directed you to THS terms and conditions, how would you have felt and what would your response have been, do you think? I can’t imagine trying to argue with a pet parent that they should not yet be returning home; it would be a horrible way to conclude a sit.

Did Membership Services require proof that the sitter agreed to your curtailing the sit early?


I would not see it as against the rules to ask. In many cases, I could be flexible. In some other cases, a change of schedule would cause me problems and/or cost me money.

For me, it would mostly depend on how the HO had asked and a bit on their reasons. Even if they had had very valid reasons and if their early (or late) arrival had been no problem for me.


I agree with the others, given what you have said she deserves a great review from you, as you broke the contract. If you’ve submitted her review already, and it hasn’t gone live, then I would presume she has chosen not to write one for you, which is a really good thing from your point of view, and shows she must have had a great time, but she will realise that she would definitely have to down-grade you given the breach of contract, there’s no way around it. So it could be that she’s being really lovely by not completing a review for you because she doesn’t want to mark you down.

But she really does deserve a fantastic review from you. She took great care of your pets and your home. What you perhaps you should have done is offered to pay for a hotel for her instead. She would have naturally felt a little deflated by the breach of contract, totally natural, I am not sure if I would want to stay in the same space unless there was a serious reason for the early return. I think I would have left too.

Do the right thing, and write her a great review, she deserves it.


@HappyDeb On re-reading the original post, it appears the OP has already left a less than positive review for the sitter, relating to the ‘ghosting’:

'I am assuming that she knew I would include that in a review, and she has chosen not to write a review for me '.

The PP later writes:

'I took your comments to heart and attempted to change my review, giving me the opportunity to speak to someone from trustedhousesitters. I was informed that since the sitter agreed that it was okay for me to return early, my expectation that it was acceptable made sense. The staff person suggested it was a fair review. ’

I feel this adds insult to injury, given the overall situation.



Thank you for coming back to the forum and explaining that you didn’t know that it was against the T&Cs to curtail your trip .
You said that the sitter was (understandably) upset about this so it doesn’t seem that she did agree it was ok .

To make it right you could go back to the sitter and apologise for the inconvenience caused by your decision and for putting her in an awkward situation and offer to pay any expenses she incurred for alternative accommodation. I am sure that and a great review of your sitter for all the great work she did in looking after your pets will be appreciated and make amends for the misunderstanding about the terms of the agreement .

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@fbrenner6, if a HO doesn’t also do house sitting themselves, it can be difficult to put yourself into the other person’s shoes. I don’t know what the situation was for your sitter, but for me being asked to end the sit two days early might be a major issue. For one I may now not have enough time to do whatever I need to do – both for you and for me – to move on. I may not have a hotel room or budgeted for one or for several restaurant meals, and I definitely wouldn’t want to turn from being a house sitter to being a house guest in the home of someone I was just sitting for. It would be hideously uncomfortable.

But I also would feel I couldn’t turn you down when you wanted to be back home. So the fact your sitter “agreed” makes it okay for the terms of service, but it still doesn’t make it okay from your sitter’s perspective as a human being with her own needs and worries.


Two of my past hosts returned early. One had a major accident during her family vacation, which required emergency care and would need follow up surgery. The other set of hosts rushed back, because their beloved elderly and sick dog had catastrophic seizures, which required her to be put down. They scrambled home in time to love on her as she crossed the rainbow bridge.

In both cases, my hosts were thoughtful enough to voluntarily offer to pay for a hotel room, because they naturally realized that they’d be putting me out early. I didn’t need to bring it up at all. That’s because, regardless of what THS requires or not, they had empathy even during what were terrible times for them. In both cases, I ended up choosing to pay for my own hotel stay. That’s because I value thoughtful people in the world, wherever I meet them. Folks like that don’t need to be told or required to do the right thing.


On one of my very first house sits, which was only for a weekend, the cats owner returned the very next day as she didn’t like the bed she had been sleeping on at a holiday cottage she was staying at with friends. I was invited to stay the other night but I didn’t, as I think it would have been strange for both of us. It threw my plans for staying in the area completely, but I got a nice review which was very helpful back then. Things can change though, which I always would understand. You offered your sitter accommodation, which was absolutely the right thing to do.