Will a THS accept a couch to sleep on?

@andrealovesanimals woops!! :mask::face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth::face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth::face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth:

In our own home we have 2 bathrooms. One for me and one for Mr Itchyfeet. The secret of a good marriage

6 Likes

In couchsurfing, it is suspicious when the host only offers his bed when there is also a couch…

7 Likes

Lol yeah but it’s called couch surfing for a reason :joy:

2 Likes

We would say no to a sit that offered a sofa bed when a perfectly good proper bed was an option. The value of the sitter is simply not appreciated. Your friends can make it clear that’s the sleeping arrangement @Penni but need to be prepared for a lot of excellent and experienced sitters to skip their listing. #mutualappreciation

8 Likes

@Penni We did a 3 week sit in Spain last year in high summer- a sit we really wanted- but it was not clear till the video call that sitters would sleep in the office room with a pull out sofa bed (one bed slotted under the other which got pulled out up to the same level with one side directly against the wall… they assured us it was super comfortable…). There were two bathrooms- one was the ensuite of the main bedroom and the other was a shower room where the two kitty litters were placed inside the shower stall. So we would have needed to walk through the comfortable HO bedroom to reach the main shower room… Then we also discovered the office/guest room had no AC so the door would need to remain open to get AC from the living room… and this in July/August… with 2 cats who were free roaming but like to sleep with the hosts…(and we don’t like animals in the bedroom…:woozy_face:)
They’d had 3 or 4 previous sitters with the same bedroom arrangement, but not in high summer, and no one had complained… but they also would have not needed AC so could close the door- a completely different situation!
Anyway somehow, despite our doubts we confirmed the sit and thought we’d just try to make the best of it… This was about 2/3 months ahead. A couple of weeks later, with our doubts growing, we asked the hosts if they really thought the office/guest room would be manageable with the heat at night? Had other friends/guests managed it? We did not ask directly for anything but the implication was clear. They immediately offered their own room instead, as they wanted us to be comfortable, and, as we were overlapping at both ends of the sit, they said they would sleep in the office those nights too. We were extremely relieved and happy a manageable solution was reached. Especially since we are not the types to cancel once committed despite knowing it could become a horror sit! . As it turned out it was an extremely hot spell and we would have been very uncomfortable in the office room, not to mention resentful for not having been offered the real bed in a room with AC and a door!!

Another time we had a video call with some hosts in England who had not shown a picture of the bedroom. So we asked about it during the call and they pointed to a red sofa behind them- a pull out sofa bed…and this in a house with 3 proper bedrooms!!! We cancelled the call at that point. We felt totally disrespected. We know our value as sitters and this was a waste of our time.

We personally would now never accept a sit where only a sofa or sofabed is offered when there is an available bed.

However there are always sitters available in different circumstances. Especially single sitters. Some may be fine with a sofa/some may prefer not to use the host room/ some may really want to be that city at that time and will happily compromise. It depends on many factors.

Just tell your friend to place the listing but they should definitely mention sleeping arrangements upfront in the listing.

4 Likes

I have done several sits that are one bedroom, people often have other bedrooms in use for an office or sewing room. I would not expect to be offered a sofa. It’s hardly a hospitality offer when there is a perfectly good bedroom empty. Also, where would anyone put their things. It’s a definite no from me, someone would have to be really desperate! As for the mention of one bathroom, you would be quite limited in the UK if you wanted 2, even if there are the owner usually keeps theirs and the other one available is for the sitter so they don’t have to move their things

2 Likes

How many bathrooms can you use at once? Surely one is ample, especially if only one sitter?

My advice as a HO would be for the HO to think very carefully about why they wouldn’t want the sitter to sleep in their bed and how that might feel to to the sitter, and see if they change their minds about it. A long time ago I had that exact experience and change of mind, and I haven’t cared about having a stranger in my bed ever since. There are a lot of vulnerable aspects of having someone in your house that you have to just let go of.

7 Likes

I get the not wanting someone to sleep on my bed thing. But I feel it’s kind of like decluttering your home. When you let go of this one thing, it frees you up.

Here’s what I’d say to your friend:

There are sitters – maybe great ones – who want to visit your city and won’t apply or will choose something else if availabile, so the applicants you get might not be the most experienced. Out of a dozen sitters – one sitter used the pullout because she brought her mom and gave her mom the bed. Another sitter needed to spend the night when we got home and we agreed, so she stayed on the pullout. It’s a futon, and she didn’t bother opening it. But mostly, this wouldn’t be most people’s choice.

I’m also in a one-bedroom where it’s our bed or the couch. I want the sitters to be as comfy as they can. Let’s be frank about the issue. If the idea is someone else being intimate in your bed, maybe add an extra sheet or a guest only mattress cover? Maybe you fear neighbors hearing something and being embarressed in an elevator? Whatever it is face the fear and laugh at it.

I also sit and in every one bedroom apartment we’ve always slept in the primary bedroom. Unless there was some reason other than homeowner’s preference, I probably wouldn’t take a pullout sit. For instance if a cat really needed their own space because of “issues”. But most likely, I’d skip that sit. If the mattress is comfy and the linens are clean, I sleep well.

5 Likes

It sounds like these US home shows we watch on TV - and we light up when they say: “NO DUAL AMENITIES?” (and they don’t say, but surely think: “how do people live like that?”) Must be an American thing.

3 Likes

I think it’s less about being American than getting used to comforts and then potentially not having them, a human trait. But especially with home shows and social media (like with Instagram), people’s expectations get raised.

That unfolds against this backdrop: Many Americans actually don’t have much, but in general it’s easier for Americans to access a wider variety of comforts and conveniences than people in other countries — the size of our population and marketplaces drives a lot of commercial and business competition, a lot of marketing. With that, that’s created over generations what we call “keeping up with the Joneses.” Social media, home shows, “house p*rn” like dwelling magazines have all intensified that.

Our mortgage industry also has been driven for generations by intensive federal government support via tax breaks for homeownership and low interest rates for many years. Americans have been primed to see housing as worth spending on.

And the U.S. has had a large middle class for generations, constantly striving. Plus, we have a deep immigrant history, with folks who self-select to come to do better than they and successive generations could otherwise.

1 Like

That’s because the host is present with the guests and doesn’t go travelling like the THS hosts! :sweat_smile:

1 Like

@Maggie8K
I appreciated reading your explanations. I guess a lot of these are reasons why Europeans sometimes find it hard to understand or relate to Americans or the way life works there.

3 Likes

@botvot @Itchyfeet
As a Brit, used to only one bathroom in the houseshold, having ‘his and hers’ wash basins is already a luxury let alone a whole separate bathroom for the hubby!!:rofl::joy:

4 Likes

@ziggy said it in an old post

Blockquote No two countries are the same, despite most of us speaking English, that’s where the similarities sometimes end. Lately it does seem that a lot of members are really pushing their own beliefs on people in a rather aggressive manner at times. The forum is about discussion and helping people out, not trying to “convince” people that your way is the only way. We need to broaden our way of responding with respect, understanding and accountability at times.

So, really, why don’t we all just get back to basics and maybe try to think outside the box and accept that we DO come from different countries and we DO have different thoughts and ideas. Let’s express ourselves in a more considerate manner and stop trying to “prove we are right”. We aren’t always right, or wrong, but everyone has a right to an opinion, whether you agree with it or not. Human nature as it is, we usually do like to think we are always right, but sometimes we just aren’t. Let’s accept that and move on to something else if it appears to be going nowhere. Move on.

Blockquote

1 Like

@sharondc as that original poster, I apologise for any previous comment or disrespect I may have caused you. You are right and I am sorry I didn’t follow my own words to respect others thoughts and opinions :pray::kangaroo:

1 Like

@ziggy

Your original post was thoughtful, brilliantly written, and was touching to me.

It takes courage to say I am sorry. No worries, I accept, and thank you for saying so. The way we think, speak, and act are all different. I am optomositic though they we all can all gain some insight and understanding from each other—even in differing opinions. And hopefully, it never becomes one country pitted against another country because their customs or the way they grew up is different.​ You had stated, “diversity is what makes the world go round.” And I truly believe that.

I will end with another one of your quotes that I enjoyed reading:

“Be kinder in a world that at present isn’t so.”

3 Likes

It is true that most new houses in US suburbs are built with an ensuite bathroom in the primary bedroom, and other bathrooms, several bedrooms, maybe a downstairs study that can also double as a guest room, etc. However, that’s in US suburbs that are zoned for single family homes. This is also in part why we have a housing crisis here. Most people in the US can’t afford those homes or are struggling to keep them.

In cities – especially popular ones like New York, San Fransisco, etc. space is at a premium. Even fairly well-to-do New Yorkers might not have an “extra” bedroom. While new apartments – even small ones – often manage an extra bathroom in one or two bedroom apartments, in older buildings this is unlikely. Amenities like washing machines and dryers in apartment buildings is now common in new buidlings, but in most apartment buildings built 30 years ago or more, you’re lucky if there are machines in the basement, and it might not be possible – even if you wanted to – to legally have a washing machine or dryer in your apartment because the plumbing won’t support it and the risks of leaks and damage is too high.

That said, I think there is a “price” homeowners pay to use this service beyond the annual membership. That “price” is acknowledging that this a marketplace and sitters are choosing to apply or not. They aren’t employees. They expect cleanliness, hospitality, and comfort. Nothing says, “Welcome to my home” like a primary bedroom where you can only enter once a day to check the rug for cat vomit, and a pullout that takes up half the lvingroom when it’s out.

3 Likes

I always wonder when people feel uncomfortable of the thought of having someone sleep in their bed: in hotels we also sleep in a bed many other people have slept in, not?? And there we find it normal.

But yes, as others have said, I would not go and sleep on a couch in the living room if a perfectly good bed and bedroom are available in a 1-bedroom apartment.

9 Likes