It’s good to hear that they are taking good care of your pets, but they overstepped in many ways.
I am a petsitter and homeowner, so can give both perspectives. As a homeowner, my pet hasn’t been around small children and is reactive. I wouldn’t mind if people asked to have Christmas dinner at my house, but I would request no small children as I am concerned my dog could react negatively to them and somebody get hurt. If they disobeyed, they have put the child in a potentially dangerous situation.
As a petsitter, I would never ask somebody else to stay overnight at the house. I think this is against the TH rules if I remember correctly. I have sat for a couple several times, but still ask them if I can have my adult son over for dinner while they are gone. They have met him many times and always laugh when I ask, but it is the polite and respectful thing to do. I can’t assume it is OK, even though I’m sure they will agree.
I would talk to them about this privately as well so they are not surprised by the review. They could learn from your perspective. It is worth mentioning that they could be more diligent about following the homeowner’s guide for houseguests. However, rate them high on pet care if they were good on that.
I don’t see it as spying if they are aware of the cameras. However, no one likes to be “micromanaged” and I think both sides had some factors to consider about respecting each other’s physical space and property.
Is there anything in the ‘Sitter third party policy’ that says anything about unauthorized overnight guests? It looks like my sitters are having another set of overnight guests for new years.
At this point, you could opt to end the sit, but you’d have to come up with alternative care, which is challenging during the holiday season. Or you could suck it up and rate them factually — most hosts would avoid sitters who invite (overnight) guests without permission.
You also could “raise a dispute” with THS (that’s the platform’s terminology) and see whether you could get the sitters booted off THS or at least get THS to monitor them for similar complaints.
I’m a bit torn on this one. I think your sitters could have been more upfront about their guests staying over but equally it’s possible they think you’ve given permission for guests when you agreed to let them have people over for Christmas dinner.
Obviously, I don’t know exactly how the conversation went, and they should have been explicit that people would stay over, but If you didn’t want overnight guests you could have just said that when they asked. “Sure, but no kids and no overnight stays”. Likewise, if you only wanted to authorise guests on Christmas day and no other time, you could have made that clear in your conversation with them. The fact that you didn’t could have given the impression that you’re fine with whatever. And, in fact, you say you are ok with overnight guests, as long asked in advance…
You’ve also had ample opportunity since Christmas to let them know that you weren’t happy with the overnight guests, or at least with the lack of notification, but you’ve said nothing to them. And presumably they know you’re watching them on the cameras because of the discussion about parking.
If you are actually fine with overnight guests, you could have just told them that from the beginning, then you wouldn’t have to worry about the issue of ‘permission’. If you’re not ok with overnight guests, it would have been better to be clear when asked about the Christmas guests (or even include that in your listing, especially for Christmas dates).
We don’t know how specific @RMRL was about some things but we do know it was clear no children were allowed and there were children in spite of this. I honestly don’t think it is acceptable to go against the owners’ expressed will and something that has been agreed between both parties. In my opinion, that goes against the very nature of this mutual agreement.
Sorry to hear that the ‘trust’ in Trusted Housesitters has been abused by your sitter. This has absolutely nothing to do with you having an outdoor camera, or not. This sitter cannot be trusted to honor their side of this mutual agreement to follow the basic rules of this entire process. It MUST be mentioned in the review, as an indication to future potential homeowners, that the sitter is averse to following the basic understanding of trust. I’m a sitter and no matter if an outdoor camera is present or not, I’d never imagine breaking the trust of a homeowner. Your sitter will have to consider this a learning experience once your honest review is posted.
I am 95% certain that my holiday sitter last year did not actually stay at my home the whole time (they were not from the area but had a friend in a town 45 minutes away - I confirmed with them prior to sit that they understood the expectation to stay at my place the whole time). I don’t and will never have cameras, and I’m grateful to not have proof, to be honest. Overall, I understand and expect that sitters will not do 100% of the things I ask, and as long as nothing major goes wrong, or the little things don’t pile up to make a big issue, I’m fine with it.
But any time a HO mentions capturing something on an external camera that is not ok, there is a bit of a piling on, like HOW DARE YOU break trust like that. Isn’t the sitter the one breaking trust in this situation?
OTOH, if the overall sit is good, I think it’s ok to take a step back and chill out. As an HO, I would want to know if a sitter has a history of bringing unapproved guests, and especially if one of their guests damaged my property - but I also think people can learn and change. If the sitter was proactive about the damage (contacted you right away and made efforts/arranged for/paid for repairs - whatever is appropriate), I would not mention it, or say “there was some damage but sitter was very responsible about it” - because I understand accidents and am far more interested in how people respond than the accident itself.
I get the ambivalence about mentioning the additional guests - it’s not a great look for a sitter to go against what was okayed, but they also appear to have had very responsible and respectful guests in your home. Again, as a host I would care more if they brought randos home or had raging parties. Then again, my home is 100% not child-proofed and I’d be freaked out if someone brought kids after being told specifically not to.
Disagree with this as it defeats the purpose of blind reviews.
@RMRL I’m sorry you’ve had this negative experience and I’m sorry that some folks on this forum are giving you a hard time for checking your exterior camera. As a sitter, I don’t find anything you’ve done wrt your sitter’s bad behaviour to be over the line.
I meant after the sit, the homeowner would address that there weren’t supposed to be children in the house, yet they did have children in the house. Even though the review is blind, the sitters can still respond to the review, so I’m just suggesting the discussion is had privately before the review is posted to save the discussion happening on-line.
Just something to think about, but there are other ways to approach a negative comment as you point out.
I agree wholeheartedly with this comment. the sitter has definitely taken advantage here.
I do Christmas sits, solo, and would NEVER invite anyone else over.
Unless doing the sit as a couple, or 2 friends, and agreed before the sit starts, there is no reason to have any other visitors. Either stay at home if you want a big family Christmas, or choose to sit for someone if you are happy with your own company, or with just 1 pre agreed companion.
@JMP_Loves_Paws there have been examples discussed on this forum where a host has discussed an issue with a sitter before reviews have been left. The host then left a positive review of the sitter, believing that the sitter would have the opportunity to learn from the discussion and change their behaviour for future sits. However the sitter left a very negative review of the host in an attempt to compensate for the fact that they thought the issue discussed would be mentioned in the hosts review of them.
This is what @Newpetlover means about defeating the purpose of blind reviews. In the past, the person who reviewed second could leave a retaliatory review after reading the review of them.
@belluca …and that’s the thing. If after reviewing the video of driving on the lawn, if the sitter would’ve just said, “I’ apologize for my guest. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again”, I would’ve been good with that. The same goes with bringing kids to the house. She could’ve said, “My mother told me it was only adults. I wasn’t aware of the children. My apologies.” Just acknowledge it. When you don’t, it makes me feel like you’re trying to hide something. Trust me, I don’t like having to (and I don’t want to) ALWAYS check my outdoor cameras, but when I feel a little deceived so early on in a sit, I can’t help it. My approval to have Christmas dinner at my house was not a blanket approval for everything. Every time I think I have all bases covered in my profile, a new scenario pops up.
I appreciate everyone’s feedback. I like seeing everyone else’s point of view. Some good points were made. I am definitely going to stress the exceptional care they took of my pets. When I return I will assess everything else.
@RMRL, seems a positive and pragmatic perspective. Strange developments. As experienced housesitters then it would not even cross our minds to invite people to Pet Parent property, nevermind stay overnight, without approval in advance. There seems a trend - trust - in regards unreported alleged damage to property/lawn. All a bit strange and poor conduct. Perhaps there’s takeaway lessons on your part - to ask more questions in video calls. Consider briefly state conduct expectations (e.g. visitors) in welcome guide.
The Christmas period is a time of material excess demand for housesitters. And a time when families come together. To secure a housesit, and arguably be nice people, some give-take on both sides seems pragmatically appropriate. Applies both ways - heaven forbid that Pet Parents may not always be angelically honest in their disclosures in efforts to find a festive housesitter!
Onwards to the future. Leave an honest, fair, specific review. Hopefully you still enjoyed a fabulous festive period and property/pets, on return, are in good shape. Then can take stock of learnings and action steps; put episode in rearview mirror; and plan your next adventure. 2025 beckons
