Asking a sitter if family can stop by to use facilities

Hi all,
We have a two week sitter scheduled coming up next week. We live near a beach and unbeknownst to me, my husband offered our house to our son and his family with wife and two small children as a waystation to the beach. We have an outdoor shower, etc. and maybe they’d come twice. I feel that it’s inappropriate to even ask our sitter to accommodate this request. My husband feels I’m being selfish but I don’t want to put our sitter in a position like this. What do you all think?


It’s against the rules, although you could ask the sitter. However, I wouldn’t be happy about it

As @Smiley says, it is against the rules.
I don’t think that you should even ask the sitter as you would be putting the sitter in an awkward position.


@faybird A warm welcome to the community forum and it’s great that you wanted to check and ask this question as it is a very important one to get right for the success of your sit for both parties.

You have received some great answers from fellow forum members. Just for reference here is the help desk article about any third parties present during a sit, it might help to show it to your husband:

Thank you for asking this as it is a super important question.

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I wouldn’t ask; you are putting the sitter in a no-win position, as if they decline they might worry you’ll think they are being inflexible, so they will be pressured to say “ok” even if it’s not really ok with them. Personally I’d find this super annoying.


I don’t think that I would mind. Just ask nicely, with a little bit of an apology (not too much), and I would most likely say “Sure, no problem!”

But your husband should not think that you are selfish. You are considerate!

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Let’s just keep in mind the rules are that no third party be on the property during a sit. This is for the safety of the sitter as well as anyone else who might be there.

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I have been flexible when one of the pet owners returned to sleep there one night. He had been driving a long distance to take care of his old and ailing father. I felt that it was the least that I could do.

It would have felt horrible to say that THS rules do not allow that.


Yes, there can be exceptions to every rule but in general, this should not be done or expected.


If I were your sitter and you asked me that, I would feel horribly uncomfortable but reluctantly say yes. It would be similar to your sitter asking you if their friends could stop by and use your facilities because they were in the area. It’s not an emergency.


But if I said the son’s family was no problem, as a sitter I would feel free in case I met a nice person at that beach. And if they asked where I lived, I might offer them a beer in the garden. And let her use the outdoor shower. :shower:

I agree with other sitters on here that I wouldn’t like it. Takes me back to our very first house sit where the homeowners said their daughter needed to come home and spend a couple of nights. We didn’t know any better so allowed it even though we were told by the homeowners we were allowed no visitors in their home. It wasn’t a great experience as we felt we were being checked up on and we seriously considered not moving forward on applying for future sits. Eight years later though, we’ve done over 30 sits and it’s been a wonderful experience now that we know better.


I personally don’t think this is that big of a deal, especially if they are pretty much stopping there to use the outdoor shower. It’s not like asking if they can come use a pool or do other activities at the house where they will be there for hours on end perhaps frequently. If a HO asked my husband and I this, it wouldn’t bother us at all.

I say it can’t hurt to ask while stressing that if it isn’t okay with them, that is totally okay with you and not to feel pressured to say ‘yes.’ But if you are that concerned about even broaching it, telling your son they can’t stop there doesn’t seem like it would be that big of a deal. It’s not like they need to come there for something absolutely necessary.

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Thanks, everyone for your replies and support, which was where I came out on the issue. I needed some back up from the community and site for my point of view vis-à-vis my husband.

So, I’m not even going to ask our sitter, and my husband has already told our son and daughter-in-law that he is sorry for offering them something before he talked to me. They were totally cool about pivoting their plans. All is sorted and everybody’s happy.


Yay! Thanks @faybird for letting us know.

No - you’re putting your sitter in a very uncomfortable position and this is not fair at all.

That’s great and thank you @faybird for letting us know the outcome :slightly_smiling_face:

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