Did you take the sit?
While I would be skeptical of a HO that refuses a video call, I would suggest a regular phone call—at the very least.
On my very first sit, I did not do a video call. I sent my application and I was accepted almost immediately. On my second sit, the HO asked to do a FaceTime or Zoom call. I was thinking, “What is FaceTime and Zoom?” 
I would soon learn and the HO had set up the Zoom meeting and had sent the Zoom link with the time we would chat. Initially, it felt awkward talking to someone through a computer screen. Can they see / hear me ok? Am I making eye contact? But I told myself, this was like meeting a stranger and having a conversation and then I began to feel relaxed and comfortable.
Now, I would not think of accepting a sit without having video call (by FaceTime or Zoom) or at the very least have a phone conversation.
I applied for a sit a few days ago and within two hours, I was sent an invitation. I replied that I would like to do a video chat prior to accepting and the HO agreed. We had a great chat and we were able clear up conflicting information about the pet that was given in the listing. I had my questions answered, I have the Welcome Guide I requested, and the sit begins next month.
The HO could have read your messages, but it won’t show ‘read’ if they read your messages on the THS app.
Sitters want to arrive to sits being prepared. If this is an experienced HO, then they should know the value of communication and setting sitters up for success.
I hope all goes well and the HO reaches out to you sooner than later.
For your next sits, you may do things differently such as ensuring you know what time you should arrive, having the HO’s contact information, having the Welcome Guide, stressing the value of communication, etc.
And whether to do a video chat or not, just ensure you have all the information you need prior to agreeing to future sits.
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I didn’t take the sit, I was not even offered it. It turned out that the owner had not properly read my application, where I specified my time of arrival at the airport and she wanted me to be earlier for handover.
So what I meant with this example is that communication is essential and it is much easier to have effective communication in a face to face real time interaction. For me, that might have been a narrow escape. I mean, if she doesn’t read my messages, what can I expect?
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Poet, Maya Angelou, has said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
If you took the time to write an application and the HO failed to read it, then communication was already off to a poor start. Had you taken the sit / been chosen, expectations for communication during the sit may not have gotten any better.
It sounds like you dodged a bullet.
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Really? I didn’t know about that.
Although I agree with @Maggie8K, @sharondc and @elmi4711 that communication is essential and I also feel that the way the owners are dealing with this suggests, at the very least, that they are too busy to pay attention to such small issues as a housesit and the communication needs of a sitter, my latest advice is based on three main points:
- @DeeMcC sits as a hobby and has no need at all to go ahead with this sit if she doesn’t feel comfortable. She doesn’t have to travel internationally and there are lots of daily flights to get to the destination, so not much pressure for travel arrangements.
- The pets and the views are absolutely gorgeous and the reviews are amazing. Owners also wrote good reviews for previous sitters.
- My own experience. The very good sit that I referred to in my first post was a similar situation. I didn’t have any unanswered messages but I was offered the sit without video chat or phone conversation. I gave my phone number in the application and didn’t get theirs until I got the welcome guide, much closer to the sit. After agreeing on the sit and the time of arrival and departure, we didn’t have any contact for over a month. It was in Melbourne and it was my first sit in Australia. I booked the flight to fit the sit dates. I was more inexperienced and had not read the forum. It didn’t even cross my mind that the sit could be cancelled or that something might go wrong but I wanted to go to Australia, I fell in love with the pets and was prepared to change plans and pay for accommodation if something went wrong. It didn’t. They were wonderful people, communicated warmly and fluently and gave me a great review. The pets lived up to my high expectations.
Based on all that, If I were @DeeMcC, I wouldn’t overthink, I would hope for the best and be prepared for the worst, which, given the situation, can’t be that bad.
Reading the forum is very helpful in many regards but it can also concentrate all the bad experiences and expectations. When this happens, I think we need to go back to the “trust” part and let us go with the flow. Being an overthinker myself, I know I miss out on improvisation. Sometimes life offers gifts in disguise and our distrustful nature prevents us from enjoying them.
Edited to add that all this is based on the hypothesis that there is no evidence the owners have read the messages and everything suggests that they haven’t. If they had, there would be no apartment, pets or money good enough to make me go ahead with the sitting.
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Applied for a sit in London today, invitation arrived in minutes, followed by the Welcome Guide straight after, with only one brief communication through my inbox. (I don’t even like or need WG’s so this was a lovely surprise). The home is beautiful, in a fabulous location, with multiple great reviews so I have no need for video chats or such, it’s all just comfortable and straightforward. Done.
Everyone is entitled to how they prefer communication and accepting sits, but to date my instincts have not proven me wrong so I’m more than happy to do it this way.
I’m also pleased to read so many similar and positive posts on this topic regarding @DeeMcC situation, she really needed some positivity and got it 
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You’ve summarised it very well @Newpetlover - thank you! I was definitely falling into the “over thinking” camp as it’s our first THS sit. We don’t even have flights to worry about - it’s around a 3.5 hr drive, so it removes that from the equation too. I’m very reassured by yours and @ziggy take on the situation 
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I am too!! Thanks so much @ziggy et al for helping me find a balance that sits comfortably with me
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Hi @DeeMcC,
Your sit should be getting close now. Any news from the owner?
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Hi @Newpetlover , thanks for checking in 
I decided to give the HOs another week like you suggested, then followed up with another message. After still no reply, I contacted Membership Services about the “communication freeze”. MS tried to both message and call them this past week, but have gone ahead and cancelled the sit after no response. It’s been a great learning curve for sure! The positive has been that MS has been very responsive and reassuring that I’ve done everything possible.
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For next time:
If the host confirms you for the sit, don’t hit accept. Contact them. Leave them your phone number and tell them how excited you are but suggest you have a couple of questions and would love to meet for a brief video chat before accepting.
Worst case – they unconfirm and move on which in the scheme of things is fine.
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Sorry to learn that. It turned out my advice was not the best. .
It’s strange that MS weren’t able to get in touch, though. They have phones and emails. I wonder if something has happened or they just can’t be bothered.
@Marion’s suggestion is good advice for future applications.
I hope you have a wonderful first sit and get to enjoy this great hobby as much as I do.
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For the first time (although I’m fairly new) i had my application accepted before a chat, so I’ve asked for a call so we can all see if this sit is for us, HO & me. The sit looks good with 5* reviews from past sitters but I have questions based on previous experiences. Our call is in 2 days.
A few HOs have given me the impression that the decision is up to them, whereas both sitter and HO need to be sure.
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They tend to think that if a sitter has applied, they will automatically accept the offer.
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I mention in my application that I’m happy to chat and see whether there’s a mutual fit.
Why: If a host grasps the idea of a balanced exchange, that will make sense to them. If they don’t get it, I hope they’ll quickly pass on me.
I look for warning signs in listings, in reviews hosts write and get, in how our chats go, in any msgs we trade.
And I skip listings or withdraw without hesitation if hosts don’t seem to get it.
To me, sitting is a partnership. Don’t settle for weak partners.
You have to trust that good ones are out there. Otherwise, it’s not worth sitting.
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I really appreciated your advice @Newpetlover Your assessment of my situation was spot on at the time.
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As a sitter of 8 years with THS and lots of good reviews, I personally love homeowners who confirm a sit immediately. I would never consider this a “red flag” as others have said. If I feel comfortable about what I’ve read in the listing and I get a good feeling from an email, then I will confirm. I will then ask for an old fashioned phone call were we chat about the logistics - such as arrival and departure times, parking availability, etc. I don’t personally like video chats but have being doing them of late and I can understand homeowners wanting to do that so I will go along. So far, I’ve had not one bad experience. I don’t understand homeowners who sit around for weeks “reviewing applications” - just not my kind of people and always seem to gel with homeowners who aren’t slow to making decisions.
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Sorry to hear it didn’t work out. You handled the situation well. For our first sit, we just had a phone conversation and no video chat. That sit was awesome. Beautiful house (better than the pictures even), great pet, extremely nice people. Since then, we’ve had all video chats and like it because it’s reassuring. However I also am in the U.S. and there are definite cultural differences from country to country, which is why this forum is so helpful. Good luck with your future sits!
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Exactly.
But I dont see it as a red flag, just that they’ve not necessarily done it this way before. Red flags might come up in our chat though.
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