I have a senior dog that’s on borrowed time but she still lets us know when it’s time to eat and go outside. She still enjoys working at getting treats out of her toys. She still enjoys being loved on.
However, at times she has difficulty getting up and down the six steps from the deck. She’ll topple over when standing in the same position for several minutes and she does sleep a lot.
We are leaving for a 7-week vacation next month and I’m not sure my sitter will be renting a car. If my dog takes a turn for the worse, I could arrange to have a mobile vet come and put her down but my husband doesn’t want to put that burden on a sitter. I totally understand, but I don’t want to put her down for the sake of it being easier for everyone involved.
I am assuming that you have already confirmed a sitter @RMRL ?
Have you discussed all this with them ?
A pet loving sitter would totally understand, if you need to cancel your trip and stay with your pet in these circumstances . If you are still intending on going away for 7 weeks , how does your confirmed sitter feel about the extra responsibilities of taking care of a pet at end of life ? Their feelings about this really matters in this scenario and should factor into your decision. In either case your sitter needs to know asap.
We have been in this exact situation with a sit that was confirmed months before the dog became so poorly . The hosts kept us informed and we had a video chat with both husband and wife together to talk through the situation and discuss their wishes in the event of pet becoming more incapacitated / worse case scenario.
The hosts said that after they had talked things through with us, it became clearer to them and enabled them to make a decision about what was best for them and their dog.
I suggest that you have this conversation with your confirmed sitter via video call asap .
Such a hard time to be going through. One thing that comes to my mind is, would your dog be more at peace with you there? Dogs are smart and likely knows she is wearing out. It is of course up to you and your family, but I think you will regret not being there. My sympathy is with you.
I can’t imagine being away from my dog if she was on borrowed time. A few years ago I put off travelling halfway round the world for my dad’s funeral, so that I could be with my dog during her last few weeks.
If I were you I would be cancelling my vacation and staying home. Being with her at this time is the most important thing you can ever do for her.
What does your vet say about the prognosis? How long has your dog been in its current state?
If you are okay returning to your home after your dog is gone, ask the sitter about this situation. I’m with your husband on this but the sitter might not agree with me.
@RMRL My thoughts are with you. I’ve had 2 sits with similar issues. The first was when I just started sitting, with a senior pup.
It was only a week and before she left, the HO told me that if I saw any indications that the pup was ailing or uncomfortable I should call the vet and that she had already had the conversation with the vet and the vet would make any decision about what to do. Fortunately the pup was fine and we enjoyed our days on the back deck overlooking a lake with lots of birds to watch.
The second was more recent - 3 dogs, a cat and a parrot - and much more challenging. I shared what I learned and comments from other sitters -
Only you know whether you can leave the pet, but it is so good that you are thinking about it now. Please communicate with the sitter about it and see what s/he wants to do.
The dog may go downhill fast with the stress of being sick and not having you and your husband there that he feels familiar with. I hope the sitter is a homebody and will be there a lot with the dog. If I thought my dog was in pain and no real quality of life left, I would want to be with him and have the euthanasia at the home. A decision you and her husband both have to be comfortable with.
I recently had a similar experience as a confirmed sitter. The family decided to euthanize their pet prior to my scheduled sit but they still honored their commitment and let us stay in their home while they were away.
@RMRL I know this is a very difficult time for you but 7 weeks is a long time for a sitter to tend to an ailing pup near his end of life. It would take someone highly trained with lots patience and empathy to give your pup the proper love and care he needs from carrying him around when he can’t stand/walk to possibly cleaning him up if he is unable to control his bowel movements and such.
And you have to be prepared with a back up plan if the sitter starts to feel the care responsibilities are too much for them to handle and decides to leave the sit early.
@RMRL, open honest communication seems a great path forwards. Housesitters rarely relish surprises. And you understandably seek a good end-of-life experience for your senior dog.
Use of a car seems a good criteria for a housesitter. Many of our housesits - in various countries - has included use of Pet Parent vehicle. Insurance terms vary significantly by country. But many Pet Parents do not wish to provide use of a vehicle, for various reasons. This may impact your choice of housesitter.
We have completed housesits for several senior pets. One Pet Parent advised us, on arrival, that a 23-year old cat may pass during the housesit (it did not). One Pet Parent advised us, on arrival, that a senior dog may pass during a month-long housesit.
I don’t think that this would have impact our decision to accept the housesit but it seems frankly polite for Pet Parents to be transparent about such topics.
Hope that you choose a great housesitter and that the end-of-life event, whenever it occurs, is a relatively positive experience.
Putting down a beloved pet - a living creature and part of the family - simply for the sake of a holiday would, to many, not be considered the most loving thing to do.
I very much agree with @PandAonTour and @Seniorsitter . It could make things worse, and I believe you may end up regretting it.
At the very least, at that state, it’s a situation better suited to entrust a family member or someone the dog already knows well, not a stranger or volunteer from a travel-based platform.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to go away afterwards, once the time has truly come.
The worst thing you can do to your pet is to leave before.
I feel for you @RMRL as you are in a very difficult situation. As others have mentioned, I hope you have been in communication with your sitter because I am wondering whether your dog’s health has deteriorated greatly since the sit was confirmed. If this is the case, your sitter could decide the responsibility and emotional stress could be too much for them and ask to have you cancel them. They would be within their rights as what was agreed to at confirmation has changed.
Eighteen months ago, we arrived at a sit for a 14 year old large Labrador that had been confirmed 6 months in advance. We knew the dog was on medication for anxiety and mobility was quite good at that time. We were greeted with the news that the dog’s back legs were giving way; he was having seizures; and he was on more medication. We explained that owners were expected to update their sitters when changes occurred in their pets as it changes the agreement. We honoured the sit because we cared about the dog who was a gentle soul and knew the owners were only a couple of hours away should they need to return.
Like your situation, the dog lived upstairs and had seven steps at the back that needed accessing to go to the toilet outside multiple times during the day. Sometimes he managed this quite well but most times it was traumatic for him as his legs just buckled and he became frightened. We would support him as best as we could and used treats to help entice him down and up. The night-time wee was the most difficult.
As well as this, he had several seizures where we sat on the floor with him and gave comfort. Medication slowly worked. He also paced around the house during the night.
As very experienced sitters, we have cared for elderly pets before but not with these serious issues. It was stressful yet rewarding as he was a beautiful dog. We did have a car but being able to carry him down the stairs at the back then around to the front where the car was, was something we would have struggled with had we needed an emergency vet visit where the vet was a good 45 minutes away.
This sit was for 2 weeks; yours is 7 weeks and it sounds like it is a single sitter not a couple who you have confirmed. That is a huge responsibility that you are placing on this sitter. Do please think carefully about what is best for your dog, your sitter and yourselves.
As a sitter, I looked after an aged cat who took a turn for the worse. The homeowners trusted me to make the best decision for them and arranged for two friends to take the cat and me to the vet’s if needed. It wasn’t an easy experience for me or the homeowners, but it was manageable. It was a cat I knew well and had looked after for an extended period of time the previous year so there was considerable trust between the homeowners and myself.
As a sitter, I would probably be willing to care for the dog through this, but it would be important that you talk through things thoroughly with them. If I were you, I would probably ask if they’re able to get on a call. Then you can describe what’s going on, talk through it all really thoroughly, and give them an out if they’d prefer. Perhaps if there are friends/neighbors who can support, it would be good to coordinate with them, so the sitter (if they’re still willing to move forward with it) can have a break here and there. I would also want to address the scenario someone mentioned above: what if the pup passes before the sit? (will the sitter still be welcome, or will the sit be cancelled?)
Yes. I have confirmed a sitter and have discussed with her. She said that she’s happy to give my senior as much love and care as possible, and that it’s an honor to be with someone when they are nearing end of life. She was aware of this when we spoke.
When I return from my current trip, I will be taking her to the vet to get her opinion. Today when I got home, she went outside, did her thing, and then ‘trotted’ back inside the house. I’m
not saying she will pass, but she’s definitely slowing down.
She’s not sick, per se. just old. I have spoke to the sitter and she plans on being here the entire time. She is a homebody. I just had a sitter who said that Maggie was eating great and doing well. She’s on gabapentin and she doesn’t seem like she’s in pain. She still enjoys going out and rolling in the grass.
I did reach out to my sitter and she said that she’s happy to give my senior as much love and care as possible, and that it’s an honor to be with someone when they are nearing end of life. She was aware of this when we spoke.
I will get a better feel for how Maggie is doing when I return from this trip, and also take into account the recommendation of the vet.
Maggie definitely has an easier time accessing the backyard via garage where there’s only a few steps.
