I have enjoyed long conversations and orientations with all of the HOs I’ve met in person. But I would probably have declined had I been invited to join them for a meal-- I have specific food preferences. I could just as easily have been considered to be the rude one.
Again I say, never assume. And why make the judgment that they are rude if they don’t invite you? Every home is its own subculture.
It’s actually not about food, but about whether a sitter is made to feel welcomed. At least that was the focus of their thread.
To speak to your point: Your declining might or might not seem rude. For instance, they’d be asking to have a chance to get to know you, to welcome you — it’s not really about food. So for instance, if you wanted to decline in a friendly way, you could say, I appreciate the invitation, but I have an unusual diet, so I’d be happy to join you and chat over a drink (or coffee, tea or whatever). Versus there are rude ways to decline as well.
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It’s good to hear you enjoyed the rest of the sit but, you awarded 5 stars for hospitality 
Hey-ho! 
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I’m late to reply but agree with everyone - so rude!
I’d give them 1 star for the hospitality rating.
One host ordered takeaway for her and her boyfriend without offering me any. I had just traveled from London to Portland and was starving.
Another HO told me to drop my bags and come back in 2 hours, after I had just told her I’d been awake all night at the airport (airport hotel malfunction!). When I returned she didn’t even offer me a water/ tea. I was gobsmacked.
Some people are just rude.
TG there’s now a hospitality rating! Was waiting for that for years.
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I have the opposite end situtation. I have a sit where the dates changed, I couldn’t accomodate the earlier departure, so the daughter did the hand off. But they are arriving a day earlier than the sit ends. I was expected to leave noon on the 18th, but then I could leave early since they were returning on the 17th. Which felt really awkward to me. One, I am in the master, the spare bed is some sort of pull out or fold down couch. If I leave in the morning, the sheets are there etc. And I don’t really want to hang with them. Luckily they said I could leave noon on the 17th, the daughter will manage until they get home. I did not want to hang with them when they got home, in their home. I am glad I get to leave.
All of that is them breaking the Ts & Cs and the original sit agreed. Please mark them down for changing the dates (twice), making you do a split sit (super risky), causing you cost and poor comms. Hosts don’t say “oh, you can leave early BTW”, we’re not their staff, the two halves negotiate an agreement that suits them both. I hope you get a decent review but it’s out of your hands @Huronbase . No one wants to sit for such thoughtless hosts, totally selfish! #timeforabettersit
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I completely agree that this should be in the review. My choice would be to clearly state the situation so that prospective sitters can decide if they feel comfortable with that attitude.
Regarding the specific category/íes to be marked down (apart from the general rating) I guess accuracy of listing would probably be the closest. I am always in doubt about communication. In this case, I think it’s more about an entitled attitude towards the sitter (treating them as though they didn’t have any kind of rights or life of their own) than a lack of communication. But it’s true that communication reflects people’s attitudes, so, in a way, communicating downwards is not an acceptable communication style in a mutual exchange situation.
What do you think?
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I asked if I could leave early. I didn’t want to stay and spend the night with them. So they didn’t change the dates the second time, I did. It was poor comms. And one of the cats has to go to the vet tomorrow, so the daughter is picking it up early. So I took advantage and asked if I could leave. Lots wrong, lots good. The house is lovely, love the hot tub everyday.
I agree that the communication was not good. And it was very stressful when I had asked about the WG for weeks and did not receive it until the last minute. I was on the road and did not have time to review until I got here. I got the wifi info by text on the way. And it will reflect in my review.
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I haven’t been able to read the entire novel of responses on this thread, but I will say this: Since THS is an international community, with hundreds if not thousands of expectations that may or may not match. Wouldn’t it be awesome for THS to publish clear and written expectations? Such as “The purpose of this platform is, first and foremost, pet care. Hospitality is secondary and expectations of hospitality vary widely across cultures. It is not expected that parties share meals. If meals are offered, parameters should be clear, including the time of the meals, food that will be served, and who will pay for the food and clean up afterward if needed.”
In one country where I sat, it was considered beyond rude to help clean up after a meal as it was seen as denying the host their role of hospitality. Whereas in another country it was considered rude to NOT do so. Whenever expectations are vague, misunderstandings arise. Pet care and house care (including a clean and serviceable place to stay for the sitter) should be the expectations.
ANYTHING extra - meals, rides to the airport, gifts, etc - while well intended, just has the opportunity to lead to misunderstanding and conflict. It would be awesome if THS could nip this in the bud by making it clear that in THIS community, those things are neither expected nor encouraged, so people don’t have to feel the tension of wondering if they are expected. Please, please don’t respond to this post by saying you enjoy having dinner with the hosts. That is not the point. The point is having a common set of expectations so the pet care and house care can proceed without hiccups.
Just rude and sad. Laugh it off and move on.
It makes what should have been a good night very awkward.
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While it DOES seem very unreasonable to ask someone to arrive at dinner time, and eat a full meal without offering to share - IMHO it’s about who is setting the arrival time.
If we are asked to come the night before the HO is leaving, but with the time up to us, we’ll say:
“Yes, we can be there the day before, but since we don’t travel after dark, it would be before 6 p.m. Can you recommend somewhere near you for dinner?”
That opens the door for the host to either say:
“Yes, there’s a pizza joint two blocks from us…” OR “Please join us for dinner!”
Since we usually do Sits in foreign places, coming the night before often means saving a night of hotel cost which is a nice perk, so fending for our own dinner is no biggie. In fact, our last sit was exactly like that: we happily walked a block to go out for dinner.
And we’ve had ALL kinds of situations - including at least two times when we went out to pick up take-away for everyone on our dime because the HOs were running super late getting their travel stuff finalized (unexpected work delays, kids, whatever…)
Basically, this sounds rude - but if the Host is ONLY asking the Sitter to arrive the night before & the Sitter chooses to arrive before dinner - not really the HOs obligation to provide dinner.
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I doubt most members — whether hosts or sitters — would want this level of handholding or prescriptivity. Personally, I have no interest in such, because I consider myself (and many other folks) capable of working these things out with ease.
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I think that is appalling. i would say about 80% of the sits I have done I have arrived the night before. I have been treeated like family, offered hot drinks and wine and sat down and had a really nice meal. sometimes I have even been taken out for a meal. I have never ben told to just sort myself out. I think that you should write this in the review, to warn other sitters, who may drive a long way and not even have beans on toast with them.
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Common sense isn’t always that common. Many people think of THS as a "service. I think the promo video THS makes showing the relationships show the equalness, but there should also be some kind of memos to or reminders to hosts when they join and then maybe annually about the basics. Maybe something for people to sign off on when they renew? I think THS is so anxious to just get renewals they avoid doing anything that might make people think twice. Some things to remind hosts:
- This is meant to be an equal exchange – not a “service.”
- House should be clean with fresh linens and towels for the sitter.
- Space in the fridge and freezer
- Written as well as online access to instructions/guide including emergency numbers
- If inviting sitters to spend the night before the sit, provide dinner for them either by inviting them to dinner in or out of the home, and discussing this with them in advance.
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I wouldn’t hold my breath for THS to do anything of this sort. And they’ll never be able to fix things with people who lack common sense. That’s a reality in life, not just sitting — some folks lack sense. And THS already sends prep reminders to hosts and some clearly ignore them. Some hosts don’t even read THS terms before turning their pets and homes over to sitters.
To me, better to focus on controlling what you can. If something is important to you, discuss and handle as needed.
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@KittySitter All of these things you mention are optional and negotiable. They are not subjects that THS should be expected to lay the law on. Its all individual. Hosts and sitters just need to have a good discussion about all relevent issues and clarify everything with each other so that there is no confusion. This type of discussion needs to happen for every sit as each situation is unique and everyone has different expectations.
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One reason that sitters choose to combine international travel and home sitting is to live like the locals. This includes learning about local customs through experiencing them .
For a traveler who prefers not to have this diversity of experience , a hotel is the best option . A hotel experience wherever you are in the world tends to be the same with rules and clear expectations.
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its not about the dinner! i dont know how many times i have to reiterate the same point 
its the hospitality of just common decency to treat your guests not like homestaff but like someone who is a human being and to treat them as such. We dont mind at all grabbing our own dinner or making our own dinner. Its just an awkward feeling when youre standing in a kitchen with 2 strangers who refused to talk to us when we are looking after their home and animals? Thats all, and if you think otherwise thats fine, i would most likely not want to meet you or housesit for you if that is how you treat guests. IT wasnt a cultural thing too or anything of the sort, just quite rude from the home owners, which happens. SOme people are just ruder than most and thats fine.
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What I was trying to highlight is that THS has its own culture. And unless the expectations of that culture are made clear from the start, conflicts will inevitably arise. I have lived for extended periods of time in seven different countries. None of them, to my knowledge, had a “petsitting culture”. One could argue that this THS culture is a new thing, requiring its own, articulated, thought out cultural expectations. Overlaying the expectations of a houseguest onto a housesitter clearly doesn’t work - if it did, we wouldn’t have threads and threads of misunderstandings here on the forum. Overlaying the expectations of an employee, like a paid sitter, onto a volunteer sitter clearly doesn’t work - if it did, we wouldn’t have threads and threads of issues here when sitters were treated like employees.
So if we can’t overlay what we think we already know onto this new thing, what can we do? We can think through the culture that we want, one that works for as many members as possible (introverts, extroverts, frequent or occasional travelers, full-time sitters or part-time explorers, vegans, meat-eaters, Christians / Hindus / Jews / Muslims, dog lovers, cat owners, ferret owners etc) - and spell it out, to avoid misunderstandings.
Cultures are created - they are not natural, they are not accidental. So either THS can mindfully create the culture that would be conducive to smooth functioning for all, or they can have a free-for-all with lots of mismatched expectations and understandings. A simple search of “how to create a meaningful culture” provides lots of tips for leaders - in this case, THS - to mindfully and proactively support a culture that will keep pets, sitters, and homeowners content. Investing in creating a globally understood housesitting culture (which is an investment, and hard work) would probably go a lot farther in expanding THS’ business model than “Trusted Trailblazers” or similar.
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