First HO got terrible sitter

[catmon]

What would you do ? If you were me?
My first experience was terrible. We joined this website because we were willing to share our home. Our home is clean, comfortable, and and we were hoping to have someone looking after our very easy-to-care-for cat and fish. However, when we returned home, we found that the cat’s water fountain was completely dry, without a single drop of water. It would take at least four to five days without refilling for it to dry out completely. This is the most basic responsibility of a pet sitter, and yet they failed to do even that.

On top of that, the sitters drank more than two cases of our wine. We found empty wine bottles in the trash, along with six empty cardboard boxes for six-packs of beer. They also drank my husband’s rare whiskey, a gift from his son-in-law for Christmas. they are not take a sip—they finished the entire bottle. Worse, they drank the vintage wine I had been carefully collect, once consumed, can never be replaced. When we first met the lady, we explicitly told her not to drink our wine because our collection is irreplaceable. This was deeply hurtful—not only did they drink our wine, but they also smoked in our house.

After our trip, we came back to find the bathroom filled with the smell of smoke. These two individuals had 26 positive reviews on this platform. When we arrived home, they admitted to drinking “some” of our wine and even sent us a photo. However, we later discovered that they had consumed far more than they initially admitted. The lady claimed, “I had no idea so much wine was drunk,” essentially blaming her partner. But how could someone not notice when, over 20 days, more than 24 bottles of wine and at least two bottles of spiritsand the 6 packs of 6 bottle beer they bought were consumed?

Basically, they lied from start to finish. We never even saw the male partner in person—our outdoor security camera showed him leaving just half an hour before we arrived.

Their profile mentioned that they had won awards in their filming career, which made them seem trustworthy. They did at least have the decency to wash the bedsheets, but the kitchen and living room were dirty. There were colored food stains splattered on our white cabinets, something any reasonable person would wipe off immediately.

Even a month later, I still feel deeply violated. Before leaving, they said, “Send me the bill,” but when we listed the prices and sources of all the wines they drank, they wanted to pay in installments. In the end, we let them pay in two installments—we never asked for more compensation than what was lost.

But what terrifies me the most is the unknown losses. If you were in my shoes, would you ever trust another sitter in your home again? Imagine inviting someone to protect your house, only to feel like you had been robbed.

[HappyDeb]

That’s appalling, report them to THS, they deserve a 0* review, it’s totally shocking and not in the good spirit of THS at all. They need to be chucked off the site.

It doesn’t sound as if there are any unknown losses, because they seem the type to not-give-a-damn about other peoples property, so the likelihood is you’ll already know the damage that’s done.

I totally understand why you chose them, but next time, it’s not about their career and awards. It’s about your home, your pets PLUS the feel-good intuition you get about them. We’re full time sitters and own rental properties, and we just simply miss having pets around which is why we do what we do.

To help you get over feeling violated, personally, next time, I would go for someone more mature who has been responsible for a property before, usually I wouldn’t say that because every sitter is unique, but you need something to move forward, also perhaps only take a 3 day break to help you feel easier about the situation too.

What you had, isn’t the normal.

I really feel for you

[Happypets]

During this 20 day sit, did the sitters send regular updates of your pets, with photos? Did your cats appear happy and healthy on the pics, and on your return home? Might the sitters have potentially cleaned the water fountain in readiness for your return, and forgotten to replenish it (playing devil’s advocate, here, since it’s bizarre - and unacceptable - for sitters not to ensure pets have access to fresh drinking water at all times). Did the kitts seem dehydrated and did they rush to drink, when you re-filled the fountain?

I’m not negating what you are relating and it’s clear you’re still very upset by these events, even a month after the sit has ended. Did you submit a dispute to membership services?

Did you offer any wine AT ALL to these sitters? We’ve been told to help ourselves to wine on numerous occasions, on sits (but have never done so, except when a specific bottle or two has been left out for us as a thank-you gift). Be careful what you say, as there are always some people who will take things literally. Though I must say, I was quite surprised to read:

@catmon

Before leaving, they said, “Send me the bill,” but when we listed the prices and sources of all the wines they drank, they wanted to pay in installments. In the end, we let them pay in two installments—we never asked for more compensation than what was lost.

It’s very odd that they drank your wine and spirits without consent but then paid for everything you listed and priced, apparently without quibble. Of course they shouldn’t have helped themselves to your booze and clearly this hasn’t made things any better for you, but it’s certainly an unusual situation.

@catmon

We found empty wine bottles in the trash, along with six empty cardboard boxes for six-packs of beer.

@catmon

and the 6 packs of 6 bottle beer they bought were consumed?

So you checked the bins to ascertain what the sitters had drunk during the sit? I can understand your checking how much of your wine had been consumed, but why count - and mention - the beer they had bought for themselves?

@catmon

But what terrifies me the most is the unknown losses.

What do you mean by this? Do you suspect that other belongings are missing? Since you’ve now been home for a month, have you checked?

Did you leave a factual review and dock stars? By letting other HOs know about your experience, this will surely impact on their chances of being invited to other nice sits and it might also compel them to stop and think about the upset caused by their thoughtless actions.

@catmon

If you were in my shoes, would you ever trust another sitter in your home again? Imagine inviting someone to protect your house, only to feel like you had been robbed.

It sounds like you’ve experienced a very poor fit with this sitter, and communications have been sadly lacking. Going forwards, I’d suggest you should thoroughly read reviews (I realise you state this sitter had 26, did you read them all?) and state clearly in your welcome guide that sitters must not help themselves to your wine and spirits collection. It’s probably not necessary to point that out to the majority of sitters, but it might make you feel a bit easier to ensure you’ve got that base covered.

You’ve trusted these sitters and so feel betrayed, which is understandable. It sounds like they either have little respect for others or have totally misunderstood your boundaries. The only thing you can do here is to be more discerning when assessing sitter suitability next time, and potentially be more explicit regarding your expectations, by including in your welcome guide.

It’s over now, you’ve been reimbursed and your cats are fine (which is surely the main thing?) so please try to take a step back from this, put it down to experience, and move on in a positive way. To quote something poignant, which I recently read on here:

C. S. Lewis: ‘You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending’.

[Chrissie]

Please leave an honest review, sounds like previous HO didn’t do that! Why do some members persist in leaving 5 star reviews for people who plainly don’t deserve them, makes the whole reviews system pointless. At least they are paying you back for the alcohol consumption. I would probably report them to THS.

[Colin]

It’s hard to understand how sitters with 26 previous good reviews can then turn into the sitters you describe. I am wondering if the male of the couple has changed , which would explain the terrible abuse of your hospitality (Him) as well as there still being some good morals ( Her offering, and paying in full for the loss)
You have to leave an honest review which will probably put an end to any future sitting plans they had.
It is an awful experience and I completely would understand if you never have a sitter again. However, please understand this behaviour is extremely rare and you are very unlikely to come across anything like it again if you do decide to give it another go in the future. .

[MaggieUU]

@catmon

Even a month later, I still feel deeply violated.

It would appear that the review window has passed. I hope a review was completed

[Newpetlover]

Hi @catmon. Welcome to the forum.

@catmon

we explicitly told her not to drink our wine because our collection is irreplaceable

I don’t think, in this particular case, having it written in the Welcome Guide would have made any difference.

@Happypets

Did you offer any wine AT ALL to these sitters?

I don’t think offering a drink of wine when they met could have been interpreted as contradictory to their request and led to them drinking 24 bottles of wine and 2 bottles of spirit.

@Catmom, I hope you have written a factual review to help other HOs.

@catmon

If you were in my shoes, would you ever trust another sitter in your home again?

As others have said, this is really unusual behaviour so, in due time, when you have moved on and want to plan a holiday, you can start by listing well in advance and do all the screening you need to make you feel comfortable with someone being in charge of your home and cat. Try to look for a positive match without showing any signs of mistrust as that won’t help to establish a positive connection. That doesn’t mean you can’t openly share your experience but if you can’t trust the sitter this won’t work for either party.

I am sorry you had this bad experience, I hope your cat is healthy and happy and I wish you the best of luck with future sitters. The odds are in your favour.

[Oztravels]

There are some very creative mental gymnastics in some of the replies you have had here to justify the behaviour of this sitter . Bottom line these sitters should have been reviewed into oblivion and removed from the site. On behalf of all the good sitters I apologise.

[Seniorsitter]

Totally agree. I am a sitter and think they should be removed immediately!

[Seniorsitter]

OP, so sorry this was your first experience. I thought it was interesting when the female sitter said, it must of been my partner who drank all the wine. It sounds like he is now an alcoholic and this is new since they have 26 good reviews or she has a new partner. I thought it was interesting when you said they won awards in the film industry so I thought they would be good. I have no idea what that has to do with pet sitting. Were you caught up that maybe a Hollywood slightly well known person will be sitting for you and didn’t look past that in screening them? I grew up in Los Angeles and partied with many Hollywood types including well known celebrities and household names. Several drink heavily but when they bring in the big bucks things are ignored. They are also use to people doing things for them and not doing things themselves so I would not expect them to be the best cleaners.

The cat not having water is not acceptable on any level. If they left before you arrived home and your plane was late it could have caused the cat to go into a dehydration stage.

There are always two sides to every story. Just hearing your side I do believe they should be removed from the site.

[Jackievw]

WOW!!! I cant even imagine how hurt and betrayed you must feel. This is so no what THS is. I see so many posts on here about sitters drinking HO’S alcohol and the rarity of the alcohol. I would definitely put this in your review especially because you thought with the amount of good reviews you expected to have some decent sitters. I would definitely ask for the reimbursement, if you can actually get it.

[GotYourBack]

@catmon, what a truly horrific story. That it was your first experience as Pet Parent is tragic. Please have faith that this is, we believe, exceptionally rare. And truly bizarre for a housesitter with many prior positive reviews. As @colin suggested, perhaps there was a change in partner. Or some other reason (e.g. invited guests?). Plain odd. And wholly unacceptable.

It seems that you have reached an agreement with housesitter. While this does not address non-replaceable items then it seems a positive start. Consider also raising a dispute with THS Member Services.

https://support.trustedhousesitters.com/hc/en-gb/articles/360001894038-Complaints-and-Member-Disputes

[mdarden1x]

I’m fairly new to TH but I understand that the blind review feature was only recently implemented; perhaps many of their reviews were written with fear of retaliation?

[Smiley]

I’m speechless!

[Marion]

This sounds like a terrible experience. It’s not typical. This is a matching site, not a service, so it’s not like THS is going to “fire” the sitter, but it might be worth it to start a complaint. The fact that the sitters paid something toward the wine shows they at least have concerns.

I’ve had about 14 different sitters in my home, and haven’t had any experience like yours. There are issues with reviews as the blind review system is new and many homeowners are still reluctant to leave critical reviews because they fear retaliation. So you really need to go a little beyond the number of reviews. Read them thoroughly and look for any patterns or complaints. This might not rule out the sitter, but it might be something you discuss before making a decision. Also there is no way to track when sitters don’t recieve a review. So keep that in mind.

5-stars also tends to be the baseline. There are some great sitters who’ve recieved critical reviews, but it’s worth discussing those reviews and what happened. If for example a sitter recieved a 4-star review for cleanliness because they left dirty dishes in the sink and they somehow blame the homeowner instead of owning it, that may tell you what you need to know.

If the sitter is bringing a guest, it’s really best if they clear that with you before you confirm. You can also ask to see something – a linkedin or something – before accepting the sitter or the other person. I now make it a policy to let sitters know that I will not accept any “guests” announced AFTER the confirmation, I don’t have a problem with the sitter bringing a friend, but given that’s my home and my pets, I think I have a right to know a little about who is staying here.

I don’t know if you relied solely on the reviews or if you chatted with the sitter online first. I’d definitely recommend doing this next time. You could also share your experience and gage their reaction.

It’s best to have really explicit written guidance on pet and homecare. So even though commonsense would be to check the water fountain, I’d definately have a photo of it next to some words about checking and refilling. Maybe a daily checklist for the sitter.

Regarding what is and isn’t off limits: It sounds like you told them the wine wasn’t for them. I’d recommend also having stuff like that mentioned in the guide as there a lot of verbal stuff that people could forget. I’d also think about offering a bottle or two of wine as a welcome/please enjoy gift, just because it’s hospitable and can also underline the message of “this is for you” and the other stuff is for us.

The blind review system started a short while ago. If this is still within the review period, please write an objective review about what happened. Try to keep your feelings out of it as it will be more powerful if it reads objectively. This will be really helpful to other homeowners on the site.

I can also understand if you decide not to use THS again! I sit as well as host and I especially love catsits in areas I want to visit, so I’d hate to see you go, but I get it.

[temba]

The blind review system @mdarden1x was introduced February twelve months ago.