Forgot to ask…”When are you leaving?”

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
21

I had a strange experience last year. The HO asked if I would like to stay on the Saturday night, to get to know the house and the dogs and I said that would be great. The sit was from Sunday to the following Sunday, so just come the evening before she left.

A few days before, she rang me and said to still come Saturday evening, but she was going out to a party after dinner, but her partner would be there with me! I had not met either of them yet, and definitely wasn’t comfortable spending a night in with her partner. So I said I would come over Sunday morning, in plenty of time before they left, so she could show me around. She said come over whenever it suits on Sunday, which I thought odd, as she was meant to be leaving on the Sunday. When I got there she showed me around and I played with the dogs.

I assumed she was off packing, but she came back and said she was going to put dinner on, would I like a glass of wine. I asked her when she was leaving and she said they’d decided to wait until the next morning, as they were so unorganised.

They were really lovely, we got on well, but she had asked me to stay Saturday night, the booking was a Sunday to Sunday, and didn’t end up leaving until Monday. I really didn’t need to get there until Monday morning, as they headed off late morning!

When you are from overseas, and travelling, you have your visits organised, and then organise other accommodation around that. I could have had an extra day at my previous location, rather than spending 24 hours in a strangers house, no car and in the countryside!

Good ‘standing your ground’ exercise.
I look forward to the sits arranged, but there is that momentary hesitation when you go to ring the doorbell, and think “please let them be nice people”.

22

We also always have sitters stay overnight before we go. We like them to get to know our dog and kitchen/garden. We were very glad we did once when our sitter was coming from Italy and her plane was cancelled and she didn’t arrive until about 10pm. Imagine if we had had to leave the dog and go!

23

I think that is fine. Originally you and your wife would have been there for the first night, so it wouldn’t have mattered that it was valentines day etc, but since you changed the plan, you probally made it a little more awkward since you turned up alone.

But yes, it’s always good to ask when the sitters are leaving. It’s all a learning experience.

24

Congrats on your first sit! I’ve had a few surprises - live and learn, right? For my very first sit, I traveled 500 miles and knew I would be spending the night but did not know she wasn’t leaving right away. Like you, I didn’t know what to ask! That’s happened a number of times since and I’m always surprised they give up their bed to make it more comfortable for me. It was initially awkward when it was a single male, but maybe being a little older helped with that.

One homeowner was persistent in offering a bed at their house the night before. I declined and stayed in a hotel, meeting up with them right before they left. I’m so glad because there was only one bathroom in the house for 3 of them plus me and the extra bed was in a very dark dirty basement, not at all like the picture on the profile.

I’ve become more easy-going as I’ve gotten older with those kinds of sits. At the same time, I have the resources to stay in a hotel for a night or two if I need to. Trust your heart and your gut, I wish you safe travels and wonderful sits!

25

Hi @Mlewelling. Welcome to the sitting world. I’m a lone male sitter with 28 sits behind me over nearly 4 years on THS that’s similar age to you. I have stayed over the night before the HO goes away especially as I’ve done a lot of European sits so it makes sense to have a cushion of a day or 2 when flying in for the sit. Many of these have been for single ladies. I don’t find it odd, I am just respectful as I’m sure you are and it’s just fine.

26

I have also had times when I have to get a very early train, and I really prefer not to have sitters arrive after I have gone and just get in with a key from the key safe, without meeting them first. WHen sitters have travelled a long distance, expecting them to arrive before 6am to let them in before the sit is not realistic, and to allow a more comfortable arrival time, while still being able to introduce them to the dogs and menagerie and show them around (which I feel is really important), I usually discuss the option with them of arriving the evening before, and I just leave very early in the morning. Of course if I am not leaving very early in the morning I prefer not to be there overnight once they arrive, but have to juggle it with the importance of meeting in person to introduce the dogs on arrival, especially if they have never met before. But I do agree it is a hard one and I have always spoken about it when arranging the sit beforehand because it’s totally understandable for a sitter not to be comfortable with that.

27

It always comes down to the interview process. I’m both a homeowner and a Petsitter on this site. As a homeowner if people are coming a distance, I ask them to come the night before and I let them know that they will have my bedroom and I’ll sleep in the guest room as I usually plan to leave early in the morning. It makes it easier for both of us. The sitter doesn’t have to change rooms after I leave, plus, the main bedroom is right next to the one bathroom. My dog sleeps in the guest room with me. If she heard people go to the restroom in the night and walked down the hall, she would bark. From my guest room, she’s fine.

As a sitter, I just go with the flow. The oddest was my first sit. I went to Anchorage, Alaska where they have been able to grow cannabis since the 60’s. They planned on me staying in their room during the stay, but since they weren’t leaving until the next day, they put me in the guest room that was where they stored all of their gardening supplies for the cannabis they grew via Alexa,. The bathroom was a cannabis forest so the toilet was not available. With their permission, I had to go through their bedroom with them being fast asleep, to get to the 2nd bedroom. It was weird and I was uncomfortable so re-packed and thought I’d leave the next morning as it was just too strange.

The next day I got clarification that the amount they were growing was legal and the husband was kind enough to drive me around to get a lay of the city before they left. It turned out to be a great sit with a wonderful dog and two cats. The house did not meet my cleanliness standards so I spent the first day cleaning.

Since then I learned to ask more questions up front and to make sure that sitters at my house know my reasoning for setting them up in my room. So far it has worked out fine.

28

My first sit was an experience in that I also didn’t know the home owner was staying that night. I was asked to arrive in the afternoon and I thought the HO would be leaving shortly afterwards as her home was a very small one bedroom villa. She still hadn’t packed, I was getting late, I was then offered a meal. I was wondering when the HO was leaving and eventually asked. She advised she was sleeping on a blow up mattress and I would have the master bedroom. I simply couldn’t do that as I knew of her health issues from the interview I attended. I said I’ve stayed up several times in my life binge watching TV so I could do that and if I fell asleep all good and if not I had the next day to catch up on some sleep between looking after the pets. Most sits since have been that I’m to arrive the night before, which although I prefer, so I can get to know the routine and the pets get to become familiar with me, I’m still not yet able to feel relaxed until the HO leaves. All have provided a meal or taken me out for a meal. Some I’ve remained friends with after the sit as we got on so well, others have called to ask me to do more sits for them, some I’ve simply left with fond memories and others I won’t ever go back to, but I always look forward to the next house sit adventure.

29

When I read the first post about the host staying overnight snd offering the master bedroom I thought the story was going to end quite differently. :zipper_mouth_face:

30

It’s not about whether they might consider the other person a romantic partner. It is about safety. There is the risk of being falsely accused of assault or a person could make advances that were not welcome. When two strangers are sharing a home you really have no idea of what possible harm could occur or false accusations leveled. Is it unlikely, sure, but it still is a risk many would not want to take.

31

As long-time THS owners, we have always asked the sitter/s to arrive the evening before we leave. The dates for the sit are reflective of this and we discuss it during our video chat before booking the sitter. We also have the sit scheduled through the day after we return from our trip. This is done on purpose for two reasons. First so that we can meet the sitter in person, introduce them to our baby, and show them her feeding routine. Second, in case of any travel delays with them arriving or us returning, especially with travel delays as of late. We ask that they arrive by 6pm because Bleu is fed at 7pm. We then have dinner together and usually my wife and I end up packing the rest of the night. A few times we’ve stayed up talking with our sitters late into the night because we click and it’s like an old friend visiting! The set up of our house is so that they basically have a “wing to themselves” so after dinner they can choose to retire to their room if they have had a long day of traveling or they can hang out in the living room with Bleu while we pack. Our flight is usually very early the next morning and we’re gone before they wake up. We make sure to discuss all of this during our video chat before confirming the sit so everyone is on the same page. We also ask if they have any dietary restrictions so that whatever takeout we get will be enjoyed by all (usually good ole Texas BBQ). Our sitters always know our travel plans and we keep in touch via a Whatsapp group I set up for each sit (some of which we still have open and keep in touch years later :heart:).

On the back end if our return flight arrives early in the day we give the sitter the option to leave when we get home or they are more than welcome to stay and leave anytime the next day. We’ve even had sitters who were driving to their next sit and wanted to get an early start so as long as we’ve boarded our last flight home, they can leave as long as we will be home within 6 hours. But usually our flights home are late so sitters are already in bed before we make it home so we try to keep the noise down when we arrive and wake up the next morning to see them off. We have been really blessed with the wonderful people we have met through THS and hope to continue our streak!

32

Yes - this is all what we’ve done too, and same - we’ve had great experiences too. I understand what you mean about chatting away too long in the evening because it’s like meeting old friends. That’s the nice part of THS I think.