HO uses deception to pressure quick commitment

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

Anyone sense that a HO was lying to try to control a sitter? Specifically at the stage of trying to grab a sitter to cover a “low application” setting or less than desirable date range?

Just had someone do this to me. They cited “Other applicants” to try to force and rush a FaceTime. They have 1 single application for 1 of 3 consecutive sits.

I applied to do all three and passed because I didn’t get a good vibe, despite their positive reviews. They said their “anxiety will go through the roof,” if they didn’t lock something in quickly.

Not. My. Problem.

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[quote=“GentleSitter, post:1, topic:49590”]
Anyone sense that a HO was lying to try to control a sitter?
[/quote] No but that’s why you always follow your gut.

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3

My question was answered below so I’m deleting what I wrote

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It raises awareness for TSH newbies reading the threads, so it is certainly useful. It’s generous of the OP to share their experience. As a newbie it reinforced my feeling with one HO…. who BTW I passed on but then wondered if I was being a bit precious/sensitive… I wasn’t. A newbie to TSH isn’t ‘new to the world’ and not necessarily inexperienced in life, but it definitely takes a while to raise one’s awareness of the world of TSH’s internal processes and the particular type of relational/transactional psychology that pertains to this.

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5

I notice that you have just recently joined the forum, so maybe you are a new sitter. Just incase you are new, there is a very big need to be super quick for both sides to take things to video chat, same day where possible. So that a sit can be confirmed for both parties.

Don’t presume just by the applicant numbers that you are the only one. Their other applicants could easily be other sitters that they are chatting too, or more likely those that have sat for them before, we have a lot of conversations going on where we haven’t officially applied, because we already know the HO’s, so we’ll be chatting to them about timings, before applying.

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That’s a really good point I had not considered, and of course the HO might be on other sites too :+1:

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Sure, but even if there are other applicants, using that as a lever to push someone into doing a video call they aren’t ready for is manipulative. If I got the feeling that’s what was going on, I’d pass. If a person is willing to be intentionally manipulative, I’m done.

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8

I avoid sits where the host seems overly anxious or too precious about their pet. Those folks are more likely to be problematic. They’re that way in life generally, not just with THS. I feel sorry for them, but I didn’t join THS to voluntarily deal with pains in the rear.

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Yes I agree with you, but on this occasion the poster only just joined the forum on the 4th March so they simply may not realise that asking to video chat quickly is a very normal thing to, once you’ve applied for a sit. They may not have been ready to actually apply for anything, they still be getting used to how it all works.

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10

I wouldn’t assume that an HO is lying. Even if there is only one other applicant that’s whom they may mean. Also they might have private invitations out and be waiting to hear from other sitters. That said, you still need to go with your gut and not give in to pressure.

Just note if you are a newbie, the homeowners often make decisions based on who is ready to actually commit to a sit. Once you’ve done the chat, and double checked to make sure travel on those dates is doable, you should be ready to give a yes or no. Spending a lot of time trying to decide not only slows things down for the homeowner, but for any other sitters who have applied as well.

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11

Well, if they decline with “I’ve actually got a friend to care for the week now so will no longer need cover” and then they list the exact same dates again…

Sometimes sitters complain about declines without a message. This is worse.

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12

I recently declined a sit and the HO tried to pressure/guilt me into taking it. We had a phone call and there were three big red flags that came up for me. After the call she immediately confirmed the sit before I was able to withdraw my application. I declined and sent a polite message. She then sent me an invite and a somewhat angry message trying to convince me to take the sit because she really needed a sitter. I declined the invitation and did not feel the need to engage any further. I think I dodged a bullet with that one.

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If the vibe is off, it’s a no.

That being said and as others have mentioned, there is nothing wrong with either party, creating a sense of urgency in order to make sure that they’re not wasting anyone’s time. I will sometimes use language to indicate that I would like to make sure that we have a video chat within say the next 24 to 48 hours. This is usually because I will often talk to more than one sitter, and I want to make sure that everybody receives a response in an acceptable amount of time. As both HO and HS, I would appreciate it if the other Syed did this for me as well.

And there are ways that you can say that without sounding shady. For instance, “ Are you available within the next day or so to hop onto a video chat? I’m hoping to Confirm a sitter within the next couple of days and want to make sure that I get back to everyone in a timely manner, so as not to block anyone on other opportunities that they may have Available available to them.”

And then, on the other side, if I have reached out to ask if a sitter is interested in taking the sit, I will often say something like “hi we’d really like you to be our sitter for this one and feel that you’d be a good fit based on our conversation. If you’re still interested, please let us know at your earliest convenience so that we can let the other HS that we’ve discussed this particular sit with and permit them to pursue other opportunities?”

From there, if I haven’t heard back within the day (as I’m assuming we’ve just been in contact so you would be expecting to hear from me) I’ll typically either ping again or just move on to the next option and then get a confirmation.

I don’t like to leave people hanging and so there is a bit of urgency, but not desperation.

I also try to be cognisant of the fact that English isn’t everyone’s first language, so sometimes people type things that come across awkward over messages.

There was another post that talked about accessibility and inclusiveness on the app, as it’s basically an English-only platform which is fairly limiting considering this is a global community. I think sometimes we forget that people are coming from a different places and communicating in their non-native language can often times be awkward. For that reason I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but regardless, if the vibe ain’t right, go with your gut!

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14

Sending someone a somewhat angry message and trying to pressure them to take a sit sounds crazy cakes. It’s a good thing she wasn’t able to fake nice and con you into what could’ve turned out to be a sit gone wrong.

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15

@Maggie8K Yes, I was glad I followed my instincts after our call and declined. Her response to my declining the sit just confirmed that I made the right decision.

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16

I’m a HS & HO. THS has been making some changes to this platform the past year and the “Low Applications” is one of them I do not understand whatsoever. I’m not sure how fast they give out that designation but it seems pretty fast to me. I live in the very desirable The Villages Florida where rentals get between $5,000 - $10,000 month during peak snowbird season. Obviously less during peak summer, but still a desirable community if you plan to check it out for possible retirement residence. THS put a Low Applications on my listing at I believe Day 4 or 5. Just silly IMHO. I try and wait for the five applications before I read and select, or reject and ask for more applicants.

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17

The ‘low applications’ designation is I think intended to keep older sits at the top of the listings so they’ll be seen by more people. It’s kind of a two-edged sword…it’s good to keep the listing at the top of the default sort, but it might come across as indicating “less desirable sit”. OTOH, it also might come across to sitters as “here’s one you have a chance to get!”

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IMHO, I feel it says, easy sit to get because its undesirable which mine is NOT. Sitting in Florida in the summer may not be ideal, but this location is always desirable and should not get that designation during the first week.

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@trekker954 I think you should have the choice to not have the label.

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Hi @trekker954. A listing is only New for 48 hours, I believe. It becomes Low Applications when it only has 0 - 2 applicants. Where you say you wait to receive five applications, this is why yours may be labelled Low Applications.