Host bad practice?

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

I’d like to hear other sitters’ opinions about a situation I found quite unethical and inconsiderate when it comes to handling a selection process.

After I applied, the Host contacted me and asked me questions about myself and why I chose her sit. I replied in a very friendly, detailed way and was completely open and available. However, she never answered any of my basic questions. I could see that she was reading my messages, but she simply didn’t reply. Eventually, she declined my application without even a simple thank-you for the time and communication we had exchanged.

A few days later, she contacted me again saying that she had accidentally declined my application and asked if I was still interested, suggesting that we schedule a video call for the following Friday.

I replied kindly that yes, I was still interested, and asked whether I needed to apply again or if we could simply continue with the process. Again, she left me on read. At the same time, I noticed that she had declined 3 of the 5 people she had apparently been considering, and then started receiving new applications again.

The day of the video call arrived, and she didn’t show up or contact me.

Three days later, because I was considering accepting another sit and needed to make a decision, I wrote to her again to ask if she still wanted to have the video call. About 12 hours later, she replied simply saying that she had already found someone.

What I find strange is that throughout this whole process, she continued actively looking at profiles and, in fact, she is still doing it. It makes me wonder how many other sitters she may be keeping on standby, outside of her active applications, while she continues looking at other profiles and deciding who to choose.

I completely understand that a Host can change their mind, get confused, choose another sitter, or decide not to continue with a candidate. That is completely valid. What I question is the way the communication was handled.

If someone takes the time to respond to you, have a friendly conversation and agree to a video call, I think the least they can do is communicate clearly and respectfully if something changes, especially when they ultimately don’t show up for a call that was already agreed upon.

In the end, whether she chose me or not is not really the point. This experience left a very bad taste in my mouth. And honestly, after this communication, I’m not even sure I would want to do the sit with this person, because the way someone handles basic communication at the beginning can also say a lot about what the relationship might be like during the sit.

Do you think this is normal on TrustedHousesitters, or would you consider this bad practice from a Host?

2

Hi @Ruthsipop :slightly_smiling_face:

For me, the issue isn’t that you weren’t selected. It’s the lack of basic communication and consideration once a conversation and video call had been agreed. Failing to turn up for the call without any explanation is, in my view, poor practice, and your feeling that this may have told you something useful about what the relationship could be like during the sit is entirely reasonable.

A Host is of course entitled to change their mind, consider other applicants and ultimately choose someone else. I also wouldn’t read too much into the fact that she continued looking at other profiles. Until a Host has actually committed to someone, they are perfectly entitled to keep their options open.

What does concern me is the sequence of events you describe. You responded thoughtfully to her questions, she re-contacted you after apparently declining you by mistake, suggested a video call, and then simply didn’t show up. When you followed up because you had another sit to consider, you were eventually told that she had already found someone.

That’s more than simply not being selected. A brief message to cancel the call or let you know she had decided to proceed with someone else would have taken very little effort.

I think you’re also right that the selection process works both ways. How someone communicates before a sit can provide useful insight into what the relationship might be like once you’re actually looking after their home and pets.

:paw_prints::heart:

3

Not normal at all. Unfortunately some people have the communication skills of a potato.

I see this as a bullet dodged and sorry you were given the run around.

4

Sounds like a jerk. I’ve not found that to be the case with most hosts. Being selective helps, like with the content and tone of listings. And by holding high standards. Like after she declined you, it would’ve been best to move on then and to not waste time.

5

I’m just surprised that you tolerated her for as long as you did (must’ve been a great location?) I would have stepped away far sooner. I usually don’t agree a video chat unless some basic queries are got out of the way first so as not to ‘waste anyone’s time’. Not answering your questions was the 1st red flag, I wouldn’t have gone any further.
Here’s an example as balance: I sent a message to a HO saying basically if they didn’t like the sound of the 4 sitters already in the mix then to let me know as I’d be willing to explore if we were a match but no worries if others suited them…this set the right level of equal ‘willingness’. I got a reply asking why I wasn’t fussed either way, I liked this question, as it allowed me to say that sitting was for fun and that I was pretty cautious about finding good matches. Again an equal exchange. I did that sit and it was 5*

6

It’s bad practice, but I wouldn’t have stuck with her for so long. If she’s poor communication at the start, she has poor communication full stop. Move on.

7

No this isn’t normal and the host has been extremely rude and disrespectful. You have dodged a bullet, as they say, an the way she has behaved is a huge red flag.

Out of over 100 sits I can count on one hand where the host has been slow in communicating or not replied at all. She deserves not to get a sitter and is very lucky to have so many applicants as there are complaints in the forum from hosts who aren’t receiving as many as usual or none at all.

8

The bigger problem is that there were red flags that you ignored. When she ignored your initial questions, I would have withdrawn my application. That screams entitled. Then she did a video with you when you were no longer in the mix. When you asked her if you should reapply she didn’t answer. Truly you were just a desperate backup if she didn’t find someone else. You were never a top pick and she showed you loud and clear along the way. I think you dodged a bullet. She is the type that would pretend all went well and then give you a low score. Only continue with hosts that show you respect.

9

Not sure if you withdrew your application but if you haven’t, I would. I as a sitter would not tolerate a lack of clear communication bc it will bery likely lead to issues during the sit. On the other side, as a home owner, I never treat sitters how I wouldn’t want to be treated.

10

@Ruthsipop, this is not normal on THS. Yes, it is bad practice from host.

There’s oddities here that make us question whether the host had limited English language skills - so preferred written to oral communication. That’s a very generous guess but possible

In our experience-

  • It is atypical for a host to ask significant questions between application and video call (that’s the whole point of the video call)
  • It seems frankly rude that host would ask but not answer questions (beware employer mindset)
  • It is odd to be declined then requested to reapply (we’ve never encountered this and would seek to understand situation as it probably indicates disorganised host or other housesitter concerns)
  • not turning up to a video call requires explanation (mistakes can happen in life but it’s impolite)
  • poor timeliness in communications suggests that other applicants are being progressed (if host deems you a poor fit then you would probably deem likewise)

Each of these reflects poorly on host. We try to provide grace, especially to newer hosts. But if concerns add up then we withdraw application. In our experience then red flags rarely occur once - rather they reflect bad aspects of host so impact many aspects of housesit (lessons learned from personal experience :disappointed_face:)

For what it’s worth, we guess that you are very fortunate not to have progressed this housesit. Most hosts have good communication skills. Suggest forget about this experience and move forwards positively. Opportunities beckon.

11

I think it’s just rude tbh. Host red flag

12

Makes me wonder if the HO was conducting a “phishing expedition”—gathering intel on multiple applicants.

13

ooof, that is such bad form. I’m sorry she strung you along, and like others, surprised you didn’t withdraw right away. Don’t feel bad for pulling out of consideration when an HO is being a jerk!

14

When she didn’t turn up for the video call that’s when I would have withdrawn my application and explained why. Her poor communication skills were a huge red flag. You’ve dodged a bullet. There are lots of lovely homeowners out there. Keep applying and put this one behind you.

15

Most of the hosts have been communicative, responsive, and decent human beings. Of course I don’t give much time for a host to string me along. If they read my application and dont respond, after a couple of days I withdraw my application with no message. Sometimes they reach out after I withdraw but by that time, my excitement for that petsit goes flat. I would rather pay for a hotel or Airbnb rather at that point

16

I wouldn’t run after a HO who obviously is not interested in me as a sitter or doesn’t know how to behave. I would look for another sit.

17

I’m surprised to see so many people call it poor communication. It’s like describing someone who talks rudely as having “poor language skills”. It’s their nature. Some people show their true colours when they don’t need you. She obviously was not into you-no answer is an answer, and an obvious one. She was squandering her chances of getting a sitter by trying to be clever, what she doesn’t know is that one day it may backfire-as it potentially narrows her sitters pool, which she doesn’t know about, she thinks that there’s an Infinite number of sitters available for her to choose from, what she doesn’t know is that during this process she has offended many sitters who wouldn’t apply for her sit again in the future. These people’s egos may even get boosted because they feel like they’re at the top and they are the one who’s selecting, whilst in their lives they may have little chances to feel that way.

Speaking form experience, there are a few hosts that I came cross behaved this way. One of them being strategic- declined me so she could get more applicants-got me out of the way first, maybe because I only had a few reviews or maybe just didn’t like me, who knows, then sent me a message which was lie saying she’s chosen a previous sitter. She’s been very selective yet still chose the wrong sitter who had broken things in her house (read from the review). Now I’ve got dozens of reviews and I will never sit for her.

Another women just read my hearty message and not replying.

Funny thing is that these people’s schedules always align with mine, they go away multiple times a year, but I never apply again. This is one of the reasons why some hosts find it harder to find a sitter than before, obviously there are many other reasons as well.

18

Such wisdom in what you say.

19

This kind of thing happens everywhere, not just on THS. Like I’ve been getting asks for private sits and one potential host in Europe was slow to communicate, so I cut off contact.

For me, my standards and expectations for good partnership between sitters and hosts don’t change, whether on or off THS.

20

You dodged a bullet. She didn’t even show up for the video call or contact you. That is no way to treat people. I’m a HO and I would never treat a sitter this way. This is definitely not the norm. There are lots of great hosts out there.